Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom has decided to write to you now so that when Mark gets home from work we can try & fix the TV in the living room. For some reason it is not working. Right now things are pretty quiet here so I thought this was the best time to write to you. The weather today is so warm. I took the pups out for a walk thinking we would be gone for a little bit but guess they thought it was too warm as well because they didn't even want to stay outside. The skies are blue & the sun is shining bright. It is muggy & humid as well. The temp says it is high 80's but with the heat index it is warmer. This is our kind of weather. We could do so many things together. I miss our times. I miss them so much. I miss our conversations, our laughs, our walks, our times we golfed & played board games, the times we would go on vacation, I even miss our stubbornness & our fights. I just miss everything about you. Your smile, your voice, your face, your eyes, I miss it all & I miss everything my sweet precious son. Today Mom was talking to her friend & they told me that I was awesome. I responded & said no... I am just me. They went on to explain that when they say that they are trying to tell me that with everything that I have gone through with losing you, my own medical issues through the years, & just life in general... I am still here, I am still smiling & doing my best to help others. Mom understands now what they mean by those words but I don't believe that I am doing anything special & anything more than anyone else would do. I would like to think that many have the same compassion that I do. I guess not. It was nice to hear though. It now makes me know that I continue to do something right. Guess I needed the confirmation. I know my friend will be reading this letter at some point so again... I want to tell you thank you. You are very special to me & I think the world of you. Just never forget that! 
 Last night Mom called to you & I believe that you were right there by my side. Mom had a scare & I was pretty shaky after. I immediately called to you. Thank you for being by my side. It meant so much to Mom. Today, I am doing a little better. Guess I am just pretty tired. I didn't sleep all that well because my mind was racing & I had a lot going on. I hope that I get to sleep tonight. I could really use the help if there is anything you can do. I hope that whatever happened doesn't happen again either. Please if there is anything you can do to help Mom....I could use it right about now. Thank you. 
 Mom spoke to Aunt Beck, Meme & Grandpa yesterday afternoon & evening. Things seem well with everyone so that is a nice change. I will be calling Grandpa tonight to chat with him for a little bit as I have a few things I need to talk to him about. I got to see more videos of Great Grammy singing & enjoying some music. They are so sweet. She seems to be doing well now. She isn't sick anymore so that is good. I know you keep a close eye on everyone & that makes me feel so much better. You continue to make me proud. You always did. You will continue to be my everything. You will always be my hero & the wind beneath my wings. You will forever live in my heart, mind & soul. I hope you never forget this either.
 Mom has the daily prayer for you today. So here it is. July 13~ O Lord my God, I cried to you for help & you have healed me. Thank you for all the ways in which you bring healing into my life, dear Lord.My heart, soul, mind & body find new strength in you each day. Sometimes the healing you bring is sudden, sometimes incremental & sometimes it is the promise of my ultimate healing for which I must wait. But I thank you for all these ways of yours. I'm grateful for how they tether me to you, keep me near you & cultivate the relationship with you that I so desperately need. Each time I cry to you for help, I am more convinced than ever that you hear me & answer me according to what I need most. If we insist on what we want in the way of healing---without allowing for God's will to be done in the process---we may, in our limited perspective, miss the miracle of how he does things, which are not as we expected but as he planned them in his perfect wisdom for our good & his glory. Amen.
 I think tonight there will be a beautiful sunset. I can just feel it. It is a gut feeling. I will be sitting outside for a bit later this evening so I am also hoping to see the stars & moon shining bright in the sky. Mom will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. I will be smiling & I hope you will too. I hope that your afternoon & evening will be filled with all the things that you need to do & want to do. If I know you you will be busy doing many wonderful things. You will also have several adventures. Have fun while I sleep tonight & come be with Mom. Come visit me in my dreams. Good ones though not like the ones I have been having. Thanks pumpkin. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. Good night & sweet dreams, Tyler.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!