Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday evening? Mom first wants to say that she is sorry for not writing again last night but it was crazy busy here with class, getting dinner going & then what I thought was going to be a fun day today ( prepping for that ) I got done after 8 pm & I needed to go to bed early to get up early. You see, Mark had to go to a demo for a client in York, ME today....he asked me to go along for the ride & we could spend the day there seeings how it was only going to be an hour long.... Mom went to bed, I got up & was getting ready & I guess I took 5 minutes too long because Mark left without me. I was upset but mostly hurt. That 2 hour drive to ME & 1 hour demo turned into him being there for 5 hours & then a 2 hour drive home ( he just got in & it is 5 pm ). He never apologized for anything. Mom spent the day after getting up at 6 am taking the pups for a walk & studying all day long. I have been so hurt & upset all day long. I know you have seen me shed many of tears today that is for sure. It just hurts that I don't seem to be good enough for anything when it comes to Mark. I try so hard to do everything & I get absolutely no respect for any of it. I don't know what to do anymore. I guess I am getting to the point of giving up....giving up on everything. So many people say Mom is so strong but honestly Mom is broken. I am not as strong as some may think. Mom is human, Mom has feelings. I think that someone better learn that quickly. I am sorry that you had to see Mom this way today but I guess it was needed. Guess I needed to have a good cry. Mom did have some friends call & message me today. That was very kind of them to do that. At least Mom knows that some care. Anyways....enough of this subject.....
 Mom finished up her Respiratory System the other day & got a 100% on the exam. Today I did the Nervous System. I am almost done with it. I have 1 chapter left, 1 activity & then the exam. The rest I did today. Lots of notes though & my hand is hurting me like crazy tonight. I feel like I am back in high school with having 7 classes....lol. This coming week I will be 1/2 way done with the course. It will be week 3. It has gone by quite fast I must say. Before I know it I will be taking the final exam. Mom's CEUs will be all done & I can get back to my college courses again. It is very busy for me but I guess in a way that is very good! 
 Not much else is new. No one in the family has called all week long. It is strange but I am sure they are just as busy with their lives. Aunt Beck did send me a message stating that she got to South America just fine & she was safe. That was great news. Nothing else though. I am sure to catch up with everyone over the weekend though. I do have the daily prayers for you though: January 26~ Relieve the troubles of my heart & bring me out of my distress. While life's dark maze I tread and griefs around me spread, Be thou my guide; Bid darkness turn to day, Wipe sorrow's tears away, Nor let me ever stray, from Thee aside. The troubles of my heart today are not too small to be insignificant to God, nor are they too big to be insurmountable for him. The mere fact that my heart is troubled draws his attention, his mercy & his aid. Amen.
 January 27~ The Lord is my light & my salvation; whom shall I fear? This psalm asks a rhetorical question, Lord but I will answer it anyway: No one! I need fear no one with you leading the way in my life. Search my heart, Lord. Please show me ways I have been allowing my fear of others to displace my trust in you. Help me to not compromise my faith in any way today because of being afraid of what someone else might think about me or say to me or do to me. As you go before me, help me stand strong in the light of your salvation & not give an inch of ground to fear. When I look to others for validation, I am continually battling either pride or fear; when I look to God, however, these battles cease & the peace of trust prevails. Amen.
 All caught up again. Mom needs to get going so that I can do the night routine...get dinner going & feed the pups. I will look to the sky later to see if I can see the stars & the moon. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for my voice. Smile & I will too. Hope that your night is everything you want & need it to be. Have fun while Mom sleeps tonight & come visit me in my dreams. Thanks pumpkin. I miss you so much. Days like this it is even worse for me. I wish you were here. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. You will forever live inside my heart, mind, body & soul. Good night & sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Until tomorrow.....
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

P.S. My quote for the day is: " Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal & not wound. "