Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is doing just fine today. It's been a busy day so far so I am looking forward to just relaxing later tonight watching TV & then going to bed. Mark has been on calls all day today. His schedule is filling up fast for the rest of this month. Mom was on the phone today as well with a couple companies. I am trying to figure out the best thing for me when it comes to my CEUs that are needed. I need to really make some serious decisions about this because time is ticking but I am so overwhelmed & confused as this is the first time I have had to do this. It really is all so new to me. I know you will continue to be right by my side & boy Mom is always needing you right there my sweet precious son. I wish all the time that I could talk to you & hear your voice. I sure need you to help me through this & calm me down. I miss you so much. My heart hurts constantly because you are not physically here. I love you more than words can say. You are my everything. You are my hero, my wind beneath my wings. I love you unconditionally. This will never change. You live inside my heart, mind, body & soul. I hope you always feel it in your soul. 
 Mom spoke to Grandpa & Debbie last night. They are well. I will speak to them again over the weekend. I got a couple more messages from Aunt Beck but haven't spoken to her over the phone. I will though. Not much else has been happening except this week is dragging for some reason. It feels like it has been 2 weeks that have gone by instead of just 4 days. Tomorrow is Friday & I am looking forward to relaxing this weekend & doing nothing major. Mark & Mom have no appointments what so ever so that will be a nice change. We do have a skype call with Tubal & Karen Sunday night & mark may have to do some hours for work but that is it. I think that if Mark does have to work then I am going to paint. I haven't done that in a few months so I think it will be good for me. I have a painting in mind that I would like to try so that will be fun. I am definitely sure you will be by my side while I do that...helping me along the way & giving my pointers! 
 Mom can't believe that is it already 4 pm. The sun is starting to go down for the night sky to arrive. The temps were cold but the sky was sunny & blue for the most part. Not too many clouds in the sky so maybe just maybe I will see the stars & moon shining bright tonight. Regardless though I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for Mom's voice. Smile that wonderful smile that I miss so very much. That Cheshire grin that you make... I can see it now in my mind. Mom will be sure to smile for you as well too. Mom hopes that you have a fun night tonight while I try to get some sleep. May it be everything that you need & want to do. Come visit me if you can or come visit me in my dreams. Either way I would love that, Tyler. Thank you.
 Here is my quote for the day ~ Letting go of the past is not easy, especially if you have wounds that have never properly healed. But, the past is the past & living there may be preventing you from fully experiencing the present. Likewise fear of what may be looming around the corner can also prevent you from fully enjoying the present. Live in the moment & look forward to eternity with God, now that's a great present. 
 Well letting go is something that you want Mom to do & boy it is ever so tough to do that. I am working on this but it is a struggle nonetheless. It's so hard to do....there is guilt involved as well. This is something that Mom plans on working on daily with this new year that is starting. I know you want this for me. I know you want me to release it all & let go. That will make you happy. I want to make you happy of me. Bare with me though.....its a process. Thanks, Tyler.
 Here is your daily prayer for the day: January 5~ The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Today, Lord, I feel oppressed by something or someone who seems bigger or stronger than I am or who seems indifferent to my needs or the needs of others. Please remind me not to be crushed in spirit or blinded by outrage. Instead, I ask that you would cut through my rising emotions, reminding me that you are bigger & stronger than any power in heaven or on earth. Help me lean on you & find true comfort in you & protection from all forms of oppression. A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing; Our helper, He amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. Amen.
 Well again it is that time for Mom to head of the computer & get the night routine going. It will be cooking dinner, feeding the pups & then relaxing for the night. I wish you good night & sweet dreams, Tyler. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. Until tomorrow.....
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!