Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is pretty tired but I am doing alright I suppose. Mom is yet again so sorry that I didn't write to you yesterday. These last few days have been pretty hard on us here. There is just so much going on. I hate when I can't write to you when things are crazy but please know that I do post things on your facebook page daily and I talk to you all the time so I hope you can at least hear Mom. It is already after 3 pm and Mom just finished doing everything that was needed and I said I was not going to turn this computer off before writing to you today. 
 Last night was a nightmare for me. I didn't sleep at all for so many reasons. This morning I sat silently downstairs and cried. I just let the tears flow and oh how they burned my cheek. Bob is still in the hospital. It is day 4 for him. No telling when he will be discharged though. He had a procedure done today. We will find out more about that later when Meme talks to him. She has not been up there to visit with him since Saturday. He has been alone for 2 days. That upsets Mom very much but I say nothing. Choosing my battles I suppose. Mark and Mom have been fighting like cats and dogs lately as well. We just can't seem to be on the same page. He works so much and then he plays his video games with his brothers. There is no time for me and we barely ever talk. It bothers me a great deal but not him at all. Mom is very sad at this. I just don't know what to do anymore. Lastly, Mom called Grandpa last night to finally discuss things with him in regards to Debbie and the way she is treating me. Grandpa told me why and we had a pretty heated discussion. I am beyond hurt by it all and I know that Grandpa is torn with it as well. He didn't say much but he knew where I was coming from. I don't want to tear us apart as father/daughter but it already has. Grandpa knows that I have tried and I am not going to anymore because I am the only one who is. I refuse to apologize because I did not do or say anything wrong. I stand by what I said. Grandpa asked for me to wait a few weeks to see if things change. I have waited over a month now. In 2 weeks it will be Christmas and then a New Year. I am not bringing this into 2020. He knows that too. He understands. I guess Debbie has a couple more weeks to figure it out on her end and if nothing changes then I guess the reality is that they will not be moving down here at all. That is a hard pill to swallow because she is ruining it for everyone. I wonder just how often I will see Grandpa if that takes place. Just thinking about it crushes Mom so lets just change the subject.
 Mom and Meme went to Walmart today to do some shopping. What a freaking mess that was. We got a few plants there so that we can start making the landscape outside of the house pretty. We got a deep purple/pink tree that is called a Ti plant. I love them and I love the name. It makes me feel that you are always around. I will take a picture of it and post it on here tomorrow. We got a few more plants as well. Not sure the names but they are pretty. Meme is happy so that is good. After 3 hours there we went to the post office and then home. Mom just put everything away and in a little bit it will be time to make dinner and then relax for the night. Mark is on the last 2 conference calls for the day. He will end around 5:30 pm. Meme and Mom have been watching a Christmas Movie every night while Mark is busy with his brothers. It gives us something to do. 
 Our pool area got painted yesterday and all the cracks have been sealed and painted as well. It looks really good. We are all pleased with that! It took a bit for it to dry though. the guys said a couple hours but that was not true...lol. The pups went outside and tracked in so much paint. That was a mess to clean up yesterday! Looks to be dried in several spots today but we will see. The temp today is 85 degrees. It is so warm and sunny. Mom is loving it as in NH it is only 29/30 degrees. They can all have it. 
 Aunt Beck called yesterday. She was saying that her and John are leaving this weekend and will be gone until January. They will not be home for Christmas or New Years. They are driving to Arizona to see John's family I guess. Wish they would make a pit stop here but that won't happen. Guess Bean is good... never hear from her though. Mom will update you on everything when I know. 
 I miss you so much it hurts like h*ll. Always worse this time of year too. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live inside my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom will light the candle in a bit for you and I will whisper to you later tonight. Smile for me and I will smile to you my sweet precious son. I will return tomorrow with another letter. For now I need to finish up and get things set for dinner. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

P.S. Please give Amy a hug if you see her. Today is her 6th Angelversary. She is missed. Thanks pumpkin!

Here is today's prayer:

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. Deuteronomy 4:29, NIV

Lord our God, we seek your face and long to find you. May we find you as your people found you in times past when you drew near with many signs and miracles. May our hearts come before you in awe and trust and draw their strength from you. May many in our time seek you and receive your comfort and help, for you provide strength and courage for the poor and destitute, for the suffering and the dying. Do not let our age pass by in vain, O great and almighty God. A new time must surely come, a new day must be born from this present age. This is your will, and in your will we trust. Amen.