Dear Tyler,
Just wanted to tell you that Mom is not feeling well today as probably already know. I promise to catch up & write to you tomorrow. I will whisper to you as I always do..every night. I miss you so much & I love you with all my heart. Watch over Mom so that she can start feeling better. Thanks pumpkin. Forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today on this Sunday evening? I hope you are well wherever you may be. Mom has definitely had better days then today but I am doing ok so don't worry. Just a little upset with my appointment today at the bridal store. I was suppose to go for my 1st fitting for my dress & there was a big mix up. My dress was switched with someone else's. The dress I chose is no longer in production so they are trying to locate another dress for Mom or if they can't I have to look for a different one. I was upset to no end but I was proud of myself. I didn't raise my voice or anything. They have 2 weeks to locate another one before I go in on October 12th. We shall see. Everything else is ok. Nothing major is going on. Spoke to Meme, Auntie Kristina, Auntie Kristi, Marion & a couple others this weekend. That was nice as I am really homesick lately. Missing you, missing family, & friends, & everything else. Just a tough time for Mom right now. I am sorry that I haven't written in a few days but you know why.. I don't need to explain myself. I have 4 prayers to write out so I think I better start now..lol!
September 25~ The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul;...the commandment of the Lord is clear, enlightening the eyes----More to be desired are they then gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey, & dripping of the honeycomb. Dear God, you have told us that if we humbly follow your commandments, you will bless us. I have done the best I can, striving to act in accordance with your laws. But I still feel abandoned by you, & I feel lonely & unloved. I know you are here with me, & my faith continues to be strong, but why can't I hear you or feel your loving touch? Please, I pray, send a sign that I have not been forgotten by you. Let me see your love for me so that I may joyfully do your will. And please give me strength to continue on my path until you show your face to me again. These things I ask in your cherished name. Amen. God will never give us a burden to bear without giving us the grace to endure it. Ty, I have nothing to say tho this prayer. I am torn by it & will have to come to it at another time.
September 26~ Set the believers an example in speech & conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Lord, please help me serve as an example for others who are hoping to renew their lives. I want them to look at me & know of your transformation powers. I want to show them how you, heavenly Father, can take something dead & wasted in spirit & turn it into a living, thriving being, overflowing with love. You have worked miracles in my life, & I want to be a testament to your holy power. Mold me into your image, so I may encourage others in their journeys. Love is at the heart of all healing. I thank God for all the miracles that he has given Mom. There were times he didn't have to but he did & I am forever grateful for them.
September 27~ For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, says the Lord God. Turn, then, & live. Dear Lord, oftentimes when people say they hope for something, it sounds like a wish they know will never be granted. But because I am a Christian, what I hope for most----eternal life in Christ---will indeed come to pass one day. Please help me reach out to my friends & acquaintances who do not yet know you. Help me find the right words to tell them that knowing Jesus is the sweetest & best hop that anyone could ever have, all the better because it is possible, right now, today. Help me spread the word of your love for the world so that everyone has the opportunity to know you as I do. I really no longer " wish " for anything. I know that what is suppose to happen will happen when the time is right. I guess I am learning a lot while I get older!
September 28~If there is among you anyone in need, a member of your community in any of your towns within the land that the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hard-hearted or tight- fisted towards your needy neighbor. Sovereign Lord, as part of my spiritual journey here on earth. I want to grow in my ability to love & care for others. You have provided us such a wonderful example in your Son, Jesus Christ, & I ask that you help me follow in his path, giving with all my heart to everyone I encounter. Please continue to show me how to develop my ability to love others, knowing what to offer them & how to meet their needs. I ask in your name. Amen.
The evening sky is getting darker now. I am hoping that in a few that Snickers will want to take a walk. I hope to see the stars shining brightly & the moon. Regardless, I will whisper to you as I always do every night. I hope that your night ( is there even night up in Heaven?? ) is all that you need & want it to be. I miss you so much Tyler. It hurts so much. My heart aches & Mom will never be the same person as I was before. I try & boy do I ever try. Just continue to be patient with Mom. I will someday make you proud. Just remember you are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today on this Sunday evening? I hope you are well wherever you may be. Mom has definitely had better days then today but I am doing ok so don't worry. Just a little upset with my appointment today at the bridal store. I was suppose to go for my 1st fitting for my dress & there was a big mix up. My dress was switched with someone else's. The dress I chose is no longer in production so they are trying to locate another dress for Mom or if they can't I have to look for a different one. I was upset to no end but I was proud of myself. I didn't raise my voice or anything. They have 2 weeks to locate another one before I go in on October 12th. We shall see. Everything else is ok. Nothing major is going on. Spoke to Meme, Auntie Kristina, Auntie Kristi, Marion & a couple others this weekend. That was nice as I am really homesick lately. Missing you, missing family, & friends, & everything else. Just a tough time for Mom right now. I am sorry that I haven't written in a few days but you know why.. I don't need to explain myself. I have 4 prayers to write out so I think I better start now..lol!
September 25~ The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul;...the commandment of the Lord is clear, enlightening the eyes----More to be desired are they then gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey, & dripping of the honeycomb. Dear God, you have told us that if we humbly follow your commandments, you will bless us. I have done the best I can, striving to act in accordance with your laws. But I still feel abandoned by you, & I feel lonely & unloved. I know you are here with me, & my faith continues to be strong, but why can't I hear you or feel your loving touch? Please, I pray, send a sign that I have not been forgotten by you. Let me see your love for me so that I may joyfully do your will. And please give me strength to continue on my path until you show your face to me again. These things I ask in your cherished name. Amen. God will never give us a burden to bear without giving us the grace to endure it. Ty, I have nothing to say tho this prayer. I am torn by it & will have to come to it at another time.
September 26~ Set the believers an example in speech & conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Lord, please help me serve as an example for others who are hoping to renew their lives. I want them to look at me & know of your transformation powers. I want to show them how you, heavenly Father, can take something dead & wasted in spirit & turn it into a living, thriving being, overflowing with love. You have worked miracles in my life, & I want to be a testament to your holy power. Mold me into your image, so I may encourage others in their journeys. Love is at the heart of all healing. I thank God for all the miracles that he has given Mom. There were times he didn't have to but he did & I am forever grateful for them.
September 27~ For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, says the Lord God. Turn, then, & live. Dear Lord, oftentimes when people say they hope for something, it sounds like a wish they know will never be granted. But because I am a Christian, what I hope for most----eternal life in Christ---will indeed come to pass one day. Please help me reach out to my friends & acquaintances who do not yet know you. Help me find the right words to tell them that knowing Jesus is the sweetest & best hop that anyone could ever have, all the better because it is possible, right now, today. Help me spread the word of your love for the world so that everyone has the opportunity to know you as I do. I really no longer " wish " for anything. I know that what is suppose to happen will happen when the time is right. I guess I am learning a lot while I get older!
September 28~If there is among you anyone in need, a member of your community in any of your towns within the land that the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hard-hearted or tight- fisted towards your needy neighbor. Sovereign Lord, as part of my spiritual journey here on earth. I want to grow in my ability to love & care for others. You have provided us such a wonderful example in your Son, Jesus Christ, & I ask that you help me follow in his path, giving with all my heart to everyone I encounter. Please continue to show me how to develop my ability to love others, knowing what to offer them & how to meet their needs. I ask in your name. Amen.
The evening sky is getting darker now. I am hoping that in a few that Snickers will want to take a walk. I hope to see the stars shining brightly & the moon. Regardless, I will whisper to you as I always do every night. I hope that your night ( is there even night up in Heaven?? ) is all that you need & want it to be. I miss you so much Tyler. It hurts so much. My heart aches & Mom will never be the same person as I was before. I try & boy do I ever try. Just continue to be patient with Mom. I will someday make you proud. Just remember you are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this beautiful Wednesday afternoon? I hope that where ever you are & what ever you are doing you have a cheshire grin on your face & that you are so happy! Mom is doing much better today than I was doing yesterday. Mark had told me that there might be a chance that he was going to be traveling all next week again... that made me so upset that I couldn't focus or sleep. I prayed so hard last night for this not to come true & today he let me know that he would not be going after all. The power of prayer is awesome!!!! I prayed to you to help with this situation & for it not to come true. Thank you for hearing Mom & making my day today. As you could see it has put a huge smile on my face. I feel so much better all because of you, the angels, & God!
Really nothing much has been going on here in Texas. We have been laying low because Snicks is still healing his foot. We have watched football over the weekend ( the Cowboys won again & so did the Patriots!!!! ) & did things for the wedding. All invitations are mailed out & headed to all our guests. You got the very 1st one Tyler. I know you will be there in your own way. I can't wait pumpkin! I know that Amy will be with you. I have this vision that she will be nudging you saying that she was the reason for this wedding & she would be correct. She is the one who introduced Mark & Mom. I miss you, I miss her.
I have a couple prayers to write to you so I guess I shall start them. September 22~ Strive for his kingdom, & these things will be given to you as well. Lord, you said to first seek your kingdom & all else will be given me. I tried for so long to seek those other things first, those material things I thought would make me happy, & all it left me was feeling lost & alone & cold. But the kingdom you offer is one of love, mercy, & everlasting comfort. Your wisdom is far more precious than rubies, & more priceless than gold. I understand that all good things can come to me only when I first immerse myself in your loving presence. That thought brings me a comfort nothing outside of me ever could. Thank you, God. Just a tiny seed of faith grows into a majestic tree of blessings. What did I always say to you Tyler... material things mean nothing. People always try to have the best of everything & make others jealous with it. Where does that get them? Sometimes in debt & sometimes lonely because of their attitudes. The only thing that truly matters is love. The love for God, the love for family, & for friends. I don't need material things anymore. I realized this when I moved & when I lost you. Nothing matters to me like it used to. I have love in my heart & that is all I need now. It was a hard lesson to learn but a powerful one that I am forever grateful for.
September 23~ The patient in spirit are better than the proud in spirit. Lord, help me be patient with my children, loving with my spouse, & caring to my family even when they tax & trouble me. Your compassion has given me the strength to be a rock to those who depend on me. I would like to have compassion for others, so that I may be their rock in times of despair. Build in me a character worthy of your love, & show me how to give the fruits of that love to those in need. Amen. All I have to say about this is that I have asked this & learned all this many years ago. I have helped so many folks out in need & in return they have hurt me. I was angry at first but have forgiven each of them now. No need to have hate. It gets you no where. I will continue to help those in need when I can. It is just my nature & I am proud of it!
September 24~ For you who revere my name the sun of righteousness shall rise, with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall. Today, dear God, I celebrate your awesome love in my life, & I want everyone to know about it. You have never let a day go by without showing me that you love me utterly & completely & that I walk in your grace & mercy at all times. I celebrate sharing your presence with everyone with whom I come into contact, spreading that heavenly grace to all I can so that they, too, can join in this celebration. Only God's love can truly satisfy my soul. All I can say to this prayer is thank you, God. Amen!
I hope you still enjoy getting to read all these prayers I write to you. I enjoy it & I enjoy telling you how each one is effecting me in my life now or how it has. It helps me to bring awareness to myself for all that I can be, will be, & what I have to be thankful for even during the dark days that I have. I know that if you were here with Mom we would read these together & have a discussion every night about the prayer. I wish I would have got this book years ago. It would have been another way for us to be close. Religion became important to you in your last several years of living. I admired you for this. I wish you could have made your Confirmation. You were working so hard to get to that point. I was proud of you. I just wanted you to know this. I miss you every day & I love you beyond the whole world.
When I go for the walk this evening I will make sure to whisper to you. I saw a few stars last night but no moon. I will look again so be listening out for my conversation to you. I hope you have a wonderful evening. May it be peaceful for you my sweet precious son. Sweet dreams to you. Fly high & free. Watch over me, Mark, & our family & friends. Thank you for all that you do. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this beautiful Wednesday afternoon? I hope that where ever you are & what ever you are doing you have a cheshire grin on your face & that you are so happy! Mom is doing much better today than I was doing yesterday. Mark had told me that there might be a chance that he was going to be traveling all next week again... that made me so upset that I couldn't focus or sleep. I prayed so hard last night for this not to come true & today he let me know that he would not be going after all. The power of prayer is awesome!!!! I prayed to you to help with this situation & for it not to come true. Thank you for hearing Mom & making my day today. As you could see it has put a huge smile on my face. I feel so much better all because of you, the angels, & God!
Really nothing much has been going on here in Texas. We have been laying low because Snicks is still healing his foot. We have watched football over the weekend ( the Cowboys won again & so did the Patriots!!!! ) & did things for the wedding. All invitations are mailed out & headed to all our guests. You got the very 1st one Tyler. I know you will be there in your own way. I can't wait pumpkin! I know that Amy will be with you. I have this vision that she will be nudging you saying that she was the reason for this wedding & she would be correct. She is the one who introduced Mark & Mom. I miss you, I miss her.
I have a couple prayers to write to you so I guess I shall start them. September 22~ Strive for his kingdom, & these things will be given to you as well. Lord, you said to first seek your kingdom & all else will be given me. I tried for so long to seek those other things first, those material things I thought would make me happy, & all it left me was feeling lost & alone & cold. But the kingdom you offer is one of love, mercy, & everlasting comfort. Your wisdom is far more precious than rubies, & more priceless than gold. I understand that all good things can come to me only when I first immerse myself in your loving presence. That thought brings me a comfort nothing outside of me ever could. Thank you, God. Just a tiny seed of faith grows into a majestic tree of blessings. What did I always say to you Tyler... material things mean nothing. People always try to have the best of everything & make others jealous with it. Where does that get them? Sometimes in debt & sometimes lonely because of their attitudes. The only thing that truly matters is love. The love for God, the love for family, & for friends. I don't need material things anymore. I realized this when I moved & when I lost you. Nothing matters to me like it used to. I have love in my heart & that is all I need now. It was a hard lesson to learn but a powerful one that I am forever grateful for.
September 23~ The patient in spirit are better than the proud in spirit. Lord, help me be patient with my children, loving with my spouse, & caring to my family even when they tax & trouble me. Your compassion has given me the strength to be a rock to those who depend on me. I would like to have compassion for others, so that I may be their rock in times of despair. Build in me a character worthy of your love, & show me how to give the fruits of that love to those in need. Amen. All I have to say about this is that I have asked this & learned all this many years ago. I have helped so many folks out in need & in return they have hurt me. I was angry at first but have forgiven each of them now. No need to have hate. It gets you no where. I will continue to help those in need when I can. It is just my nature & I am proud of it!
September 24~ For you who revere my name the sun of righteousness shall rise, with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall. Today, dear God, I celebrate your awesome love in my life, & I want everyone to know about it. You have never let a day go by without showing me that you love me utterly & completely & that I walk in your grace & mercy at all times. I celebrate sharing your presence with everyone with whom I come into contact, spreading that heavenly grace to all I can so that they, too, can join in this celebration. Only God's love can truly satisfy my soul. All I can say to this prayer is thank you, God. Amen!
I hope you still enjoy getting to read all these prayers I write to you. I enjoy it & I enjoy telling you how each one is effecting me in my life now or how it has. It helps me to bring awareness to myself for all that I can be, will be, & what I have to be thankful for even during the dark days that I have. I know that if you were here with Mom we would read these together & have a discussion every night about the prayer. I wish I would have got this book years ago. It would have been another way for us to be close. Religion became important to you in your last several years of living. I admired you for this. I wish you could have made your Confirmation. You were working so hard to get to that point. I was proud of you. I just wanted you to know this. I miss you every day & I love you beyond the whole world.
When I go for the walk this evening I will make sure to whisper to you. I saw a few stars last night but no moon. I will look again so be listening out for my conversation to you. I hope you have a wonderful evening. May it be peaceful for you my sweet precious son. Sweet dreams to you. Fly high & free. Watch over me, Mark, & our family & friends. Thank you for all that you do. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? Mom is doing well. I am so sorry that I didn't get the chance to write to you the last couple of days. It has been crazy busy with unpacking, laundry, shopping, etc since we returned. We have also been watching Snicks because he took a nasty tumble & re hurt the paw he fractured last year. He has been given medicine but he is so stubborn & fights the meds.. hmm.. that reminds me of someone that used to do the same thing...Tyler! Everything else is going ok. Spoke to Meme today & also got to say hello to Bob. He sounds good. Lots of changes with him happening. I keep praying for good things! I know you are with them at all times. I know you watch over us all. You always were such a caring young man. Always thinking of everyone else but yourself. You were just amazing! I miss you my sweet son. Nothing is really new. Mom did get all the wedding invitations out & they will be mailed this evening. I can't believe that the wedding is 97 days away. I wish you could be there.. it would make everything complete. I do believe that you & Amy will be there in your own way! Make sure that you make it very well known that you are there! I can't wait.
Yesterday was 15 months since you left this world. I can't believe that it has been that long. Seems like yesterday every day for me. I kept myself busy so that I wouldn't think so much about it & get down. I am trying to make you proud of me. I know you are happy & you want that for me as well. Be patient with me. I am doing my best!
I have a few daily prayers for you so I better get started.... September 19~ In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Dear Lord, I have been fighting these battles for so long, & now I can see the glimmer of change on the horizon. My faith has been rewarded & my energy is renewed because your kingdom on earth is closer than ever. I trust that everything is unfolding moment by moment according to you holy plan. I just need to stay the course until your time is at hand. Thank you, Father, for your goodness. There's a place of renewal & happiness within you. I do trust that everything is suppose to happen in its own time & the way is is suppose to be whether you like it or not. I always remember to be thankful for daily blessings & what has come of the day that we are in.
September 20~ For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Dear loving God, let all else be taken from me but my hope in you. My hope is what keeps me going even when all seems lost. My hope is my bond to you, & my faith in you is the food that nourishes me back to strength when I am weakened. Without hope, I have nothing, but with hope, I have every good thing. Hope, dear God, is your breath upon me--a breath that is warm & comforting & true. Hope is the song my heart continues to sing, even when the music has stopped all around me. Thank you for the hope you have given me. This prayer is just so simple & true. Nothing to say about it...
September 21~ We are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us. Lord Jesus, others see the miracles you have done in my life, & they know the special relationship I have with you, my Savior. They are turning to me for guidance, but my earthly counsel is not enough. I need your wisdom as I provide advice & direction for them. Please use me as your mouthpiece so that only godly words may pass through my lips. helps me be a testament to your goodness. If we pay for his assistance, God will help us reach out to our neighbor with his love. When I was younger I just did as I pleased. I went to church because I was told I had to. I didn't pay attention & goofed off during the time I spent in church. As I have gotten older & things have happened to me in my personal life.. I have been angry at God for what has happened. I questioned why to many things but later got the answers to most. I sit here today & I can say that I am closer to God more than I ever have been. I still get angry, upset, & question, but then I remember like the other prayer says.. everything happens when it is suppose to. I know that I am being taken care of & watched over by God & so many of my Guardian Angels. I don't dwell on things like I used to. I have learned that most situations you have no control over & it doesn't do anything to get stressed out over it. I thank my family & friends for helping me with this. I believe it makes me a better person because of it.
The sky has now turned dark & I am hoping that the stars & moon are shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening out for Mom & you can hear me. My hope for you Tyler is that you have a restful evening & you are happy doing all that you want & need to do. May you be walking, running, or flying high & free...just the way you want it to be! Sweet dreams my precious son. I miss you so much & love you beyond this entire universe. Please watch over Mom, Mark, & our family & friends. Thank you for all the help you have given us. It means a lot! You are forever in my heart, mind & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? Mom is doing well. I am so sorry that I didn't get the chance to write to you the last couple of days. It has been crazy busy with unpacking, laundry, shopping, etc since we returned. We have also been watching Snicks because he took a nasty tumble & re hurt the paw he fractured last year. He has been given medicine but he is so stubborn & fights the meds.. hmm.. that reminds me of someone that used to do the same thing...Tyler! Everything else is going ok. Spoke to Meme today & also got to say hello to Bob. He sounds good. Lots of changes with him happening. I keep praying for good things! I know you are with them at all times. I know you watch over us all. You always were such a caring young man. Always thinking of everyone else but yourself. You were just amazing! I miss you my sweet son. Nothing is really new. Mom did get all the wedding invitations out & they will be mailed this evening. I can't believe that the wedding is 97 days away. I wish you could be there.. it would make everything complete. I do believe that you & Amy will be there in your own way! Make sure that you make it very well known that you are there! I can't wait.
Yesterday was 15 months since you left this world. I can't believe that it has been that long. Seems like yesterday every day for me. I kept myself busy so that I wouldn't think so much about it & get down. I am trying to make you proud of me. I know you are happy & you want that for me as well. Be patient with me. I am doing my best!
I have a few daily prayers for you so I better get started.... September 19~ In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Dear Lord, I have been fighting these battles for so long, & now I can see the glimmer of change on the horizon. My faith has been rewarded & my energy is renewed because your kingdom on earth is closer than ever. I trust that everything is unfolding moment by moment according to you holy plan. I just need to stay the course until your time is at hand. Thank you, Father, for your goodness. There's a place of renewal & happiness within you. I do trust that everything is suppose to happen in its own time & the way is is suppose to be whether you like it or not. I always remember to be thankful for daily blessings & what has come of the day that we are in.
September 20~ For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Dear loving God, let all else be taken from me but my hope in you. My hope is what keeps me going even when all seems lost. My hope is my bond to you, & my faith in you is the food that nourishes me back to strength when I am weakened. Without hope, I have nothing, but with hope, I have every good thing. Hope, dear God, is your breath upon me--a breath that is warm & comforting & true. Hope is the song my heart continues to sing, even when the music has stopped all around me. Thank you for the hope you have given me. This prayer is just so simple & true. Nothing to say about it...
September 21~ We are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us. Lord Jesus, others see the miracles you have done in my life, & they know the special relationship I have with you, my Savior. They are turning to me for guidance, but my earthly counsel is not enough. I need your wisdom as I provide advice & direction for them. Please use me as your mouthpiece so that only godly words may pass through my lips. helps me be a testament to your goodness. If we pay for his assistance, God will help us reach out to our neighbor with his love. When I was younger I just did as I pleased. I went to church because I was told I had to. I didn't pay attention & goofed off during the time I spent in church. As I have gotten older & things have happened to me in my personal life.. I have been angry at God for what has happened. I questioned why to many things but later got the answers to most. I sit here today & I can say that I am closer to God more than I ever have been. I still get angry, upset, & question, but then I remember like the other prayer says.. everything happens when it is suppose to. I know that I am being taken care of & watched over by God & so many of my Guardian Angels. I don't dwell on things like I used to. I have learned that most situations you have no control over & it doesn't do anything to get stressed out over it. I thank my family & friends for helping me with this. I believe it makes me a better person because of it.
The sky has now turned dark & I am hoping that the stars & moon are shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening out for Mom & you can hear me. My hope for you Tyler is that you have a restful evening & you are happy doing all that you want & need to do. May you be walking, running, or flying high & free...just the way you want it to be! Sweet dreams my precious son. I miss you so much & love you beyond this entire universe. Please watch over Mom, Mark, & our family & friends. Thank you for all the help you have given us. It means a lot! You are forever in my heart, mind & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! I hope your Thursday morning is going well for you. I wonder what exactly you are doing at this exact time I am typing you this letter? Are you standing next to me watching me or are you somewhere else in this big world that you used to live in? I always wonder if you are happy like I keep hearing you are? I just have so many questions & so much curiosity when it comes to you & how you are & what you do! Anyways...
I wanted to write to you now because in about an hour or so we will be on the road driving back to Texas. It will take us about 4 1/2 hours so it will be early evening when we get back home unless we hit rush hour traffic then it will be night when we get in. I will be glad to get back to my routine & surroundings. I know that regardless of what time we get in I will be really tired & I will just want to relax & then go to bed for a good nights sleep. Today is Mark's Birthday so make sure you visit him & wish him a good day. I guess we will be celebrating his day over the weekend seeings how we are here right now. Meme called me to tell me they were on their way to go to the doctors for Bob. I have my fingers crossed that they can figure something out for him. It just crushes me to no end. Hard to be so far away from family during these times. Please watch over them, Ty! Thanks baby!
I am all confused. I thought I did the prayer for yesterday the 17th on the 16th but I didn't. Ok... I have the 2 prayers to write out. I will get with it & get on track..promise! Here is today's daily prayer. September 17~ Do not fear, greatly beloved, you are safe. Be strong & courageous! Barren is my heart tonight, Lord. I've been hurt & broken & I feel as though I can't go on. Worse still, I feel there is no point. I pray that you watch over me as I lay down to rest. While I sleep, fill me with hope & faith, just enough to get through 1 more day. For I know that if I can make it through 1 day, you will empower me again to make it through another. I pray that your strength will be mine & your courage will inspire me to face my problems with a renewed belief that with you at my side, I will come out stronger & better than ever. Come walk with me through this barren plain, & guide me to the valley of blessings that await over the horizon, just out of sight. Tell God how you feel because if you voice your pain, it can be whisked away in the wind. I feel like this so often Tyler since your passing. I do ask God to please see me through the heartache & pain. I also ask for your help as well. I will have to do this for the rest of my life until we met again~ That is the only way I can go on!
September 18~ Be strong & bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the Lord your God who goes with you; he will not fault you or forsake you. Heavenly Father, thank you for being there when I needed you today. I was scared & confused, & I turned to you in prayer & asked for your guidance. You were immediately with me, surrounding me with your presence. The challenges I was facing didn't go away, but I was able to see them more clearly & realize they are less significant than I had feared. I am so grateful that you are always with me & always ready to help me in my times of need. Thank you for your love for me. Amen. I say this prayer every day... not in these exact words but it has the same meaning behind it. I know you know I do because I believe that you can hear everything that I say just like the other Angels & God.
I have to close this letter now because my time is up in the hotel. I have to be out by 12 noon so that the house keepers can clean it for another guest. Mark just called & is on his way to come get me so we can hit the road. Please watch over us while we are driving. Let us get home safely. Thanks Ty!
I will look to the sky tonight to hopefully see some bright stars & the moon. I hear that right now it is raining & really crappy weather back in Texas. We shall see. Either way I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you be will hearing Mom. I miss you so much & I love you beyond anything I could ever say or express. I am lost without you. I hope you have a peaceful evening tonight. May it be all that you want & need it to be for yourself & others. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Sweet dreams to you, my precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! I hope your Thursday morning is going well for you. I wonder what exactly you are doing at this exact time I am typing you this letter? Are you standing next to me watching me or are you somewhere else in this big world that you used to live in? I always wonder if you are happy like I keep hearing you are? I just have so many questions & so much curiosity when it comes to you & how you are & what you do! Anyways...
I wanted to write to you now because in about an hour or so we will be on the road driving back to Texas. It will take us about 4 1/2 hours so it will be early evening when we get back home unless we hit rush hour traffic then it will be night when we get in. I will be glad to get back to my routine & surroundings. I know that regardless of what time we get in I will be really tired & I will just want to relax & then go to bed for a good nights sleep. Today is Mark's Birthday so make sure you visit him & wish him a good day. I guess we will be celebrating his day over the weekend seeings how we are here right now. Meme called me to tell me they were on their way to go to the doctors for Bob. I have my fingers crossed that they can figure something out for him. It just crushes me to no end. Hard to be so far away from family during these times. Please watch over them, Ty! Thanks baby!
I am all confused. I thought I did the prayer for yesterday the 17th on the 16th but I didn't. Ok... I have the 2 prayers to write out. I will get with it & get on track..promise! Here is today's daily prayer. September 17~ Do not fear, greatly beloved, you are safe. Be strong & courageous! Barren is my heart tonight, Lord. I've been hurt & broken & I feel as though I can't go on. Worse still, I feel there is no point. I pray that you watch over me as I lay down to rest. While I sleep, fill me with hope & faith, just enough to get through 1 more day. For I know that if I can make it through 1 day, you will empower me again to make it through another. I pray that your strength will be mine & your courage will inspire me to face my problems with a renewed belief that with you at my side, I will come out stronger & better than ever. Come walk with me through this barren plain, & guide me to the valley of blessings that await over the horizon, just out of sight. Tell God how you feel because if you voice your pain, it can be whisked away in the wind. I feel like this so often Tyler since your passing. I do ask God to please see me through the heartache & pain. I also ask for your help as well. I will have to do this for the rest of my life until we met again~ That is the only way I can go on!
September 18~ Be strong & bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the Lord your God who goes with you; he will not fault you or forsake you. Heavenly Father, thank you for being there when I needed you today. I was scared & confused, & I turned to you in prayer & asked for your guidance. You were immediately with me, surrounding me with your presence. The challenges I was facing didn't go away, but I was able to see them more clearly & realize they are less significant than I had feared. I am so grateful that you are always with me & always ready to help me in my times of need. Thank you for your love for me. Amen. I say this prayer every day... not in these exact words but it has the same meaning behind it. I know you know I do because I believe that you can hear everything that I say just like the other Angels & God.
I have to close this letter now because my time is up in the hotel. I have to be out by 12 noon so that the house keepers can clean it for another guest. Mark just called & is on his way to come get me so we can hit the road. Please watch over us while we are driving. Let us get home safely. Thanks Ty!
I will look to the sky tonight to hopefully see some bright stars & the moon. I hear that right now it is raining & really crappy weather back in Texas. We shall see. Either way I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you be will hearing Mom. I miss you so much & I love you beyond anything I could ever say or express. I am lost without you. I hope you have a peaceful evening tonight. May it be all that you want & need it to be for yourself & others. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Sweet dreams to you, my precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetie. How are you doing? I hope you are well wherever you may be. Today was a better day for Mom here in Louisiana. The weather was at least dry & humid. I am quite tired as I have been awake since 6:00 am. We were suppose to be leaving early tomorrow morning but Mark just let me know that he has to work until 11 am tomorrow morning. This sucks. Looks like we will be traveling during the afternoon & evening & hitting all the freaking traffic. I wanted to be home before 2 pm but that is not going to happen. I am a little upset with the whole thing. I haven't done anything since we have been here. I have sat in the hotel room alone for 12+ hours a day. The hotel is near nothing in walking distance & we had Snickers with us & he couldn't be left alone at all. Part of me wishes I had stayed behind in Texas. At least I would have been home & could have done the same thing as I did here except in the comfort of my own home. Mark doesn't really understand either because he is the one who has been around people & out of the hotel room more than in it. He has only been here long enough to sleep & then leave again. He doesn't understand why I am upset. That kinda makes me even more mad...ugh!!! Anyways... enough of my ranting & venting.
I can't believe that in 3 days it will be the 15 month mark that you have been gone. To think about it hurts me so I try so hard not to but I have had no luck in that. Time just seems to be flying by. In ways that makes me happy & in other ways it makes me sad. I hate this time of every month. All the horror, anger, & tears all come back & it sucks. I wish you were here with Mom. I wish we could talk, laugh, joke around again... just like we used to. I know you are happy & I am happy for you... just wish I could find a happy place again. Maybe someday... just not right now or tomorrow.
I spoke to Meme today... she was telling me that Bob is just getting even more sick daily. Passing out & blacking out. He is losing weight rapidly, not eating. He has other medical issues going on that have popped up in the last month. He is sick of being sick... we can understand that, huh? I feel so helpless & sad that he has to go through all this pain & suffering. He has a doctor's appointment so hopefully something good will come out of it. He just keeps saying that he doesn't want to live anymore. I do understand where he is coming from... again it just makes me sad. I hurt for him & I hurt for Meme. Please watch over them a little more than normal. Thanks Tyler. It means a lot to Mom.
I started to write to you the daily prayer of the day but as I was typing it seemed familiar so I looked back on yesterdays letter & realized that I did today's prayer on yesterdays letter to you. Wow.. am I that out it it this week? Sorry about that. I have no daily prayer for you. I will continue to get back on track tomorrow night. I will say my usual prayers that I say nightly. I know you hear me.
I am hoping that the moon & stars will be out this evening so I can see the brightly lit night sky in Louisiana, but I won't hold my breath. It has been raining every night since we have been here. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope you will be listening for Mom. I miss you so much. I wish you & others could understand just how much that is but I know that I will never be able to express it in any words. I love you beyond anything in this world & so much more. To the moon & back & all the way around the world.
I wish you a pleasant evening doing all the things you want. Fly high & fly free Tyler. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Forever you will be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi sweetie. How are you doing? I hope you are well wherever you may be. Today was a better day for Mom here in Louisiana. The weather was at least dry & humid. I am quite tired as I have been awake since 6:00 am. We were suppose to be leaving early tomorrow morning but Mark just let me know that he has to work until 11 am tomorrow morning. This sucks. Looks like we will be traveling during the afternoon & evening & hitting all the freaking traffic. I wanted to be home before 2 pm but that is not going to happen. I am a little upset with the whole thing. I haven't done anything since we have been here. I have sat in the hotel room alone for 12+ hours a day. The hotel is near nothing in walking distance & we had Snickers with us & he couldn't be left alone at all. Part of me wishes I had stayed behind in Texas. At least I would have been home & could have done the same thing as I did here except in the comfort of my own home. Mark doesn't really understand either because he is the one who has been around people & out of the hotel room more than in it. He has only been here long enough to sleep & then leave again. He doesn't understand why I am upset. That kinda makes me even more mad...ugh!!! Anyways... enough of my ranting & venting.
I can't believe that in 3 days it will be the 15 month mark that you have been gone. To think about it hurts me so I try so hard not to but I have had no luck in that. Time just seems to be flying by. In ways that makes me happy & in other ways it makes me sad. I hate this time of every month. All the horror, anger, & tears all come back & it sucks. I wish you were here with Mom. I wish we could talk, laugh, joke around again... just like we used to. I know you are happy & I am happy for you... just wish I could find a happy place again. Maybe someday... just not right now or tomorrow.
I spoke to Meme today... she was telling me that Bob is just getting even more sick daily. Passing out & blacking out. He is losing weight rapidly, not eating. He has other medical issues going on that have popped up in the last month. He is sick of being sick... we can understand that, huh? I feel so helpless & sad that he has to go through all this pain & suffering. He has a doctor's appointment so hopefully something good will come out of it. He just keeps saying that he doesn't want to live anymore. I do understand where he is coming from... again it just makes me sad. I hurt for him & I hurt for Meme. Please watch over them a little more than normal. Thanks Tyler. It means a lot to Mom.
I started to write to you the daily prayer of the day but as I was typing it seemed familiar so I looked back on yesterdays letter & realized that I did today's prayer on yesterdays letter to you. Wow.. am I that out it it this week? Sorry about that. I have no daily prayer for you. I will continue to get back on track tomorrow night. I will say my usual prayers that I say nightly. I know you hear me.
I am hoping that the moon & stars will be out this evening so I can see the brightly lit night sky in Louisiana, but I won't hold my breath. It has been raining every night since we have been here. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope you will be listening for Mom. I miss you so much. I wish you & others could understand just how much that is but I know that I will never be able to express it in any words. I love you beyond anything in this world & so much more. To the moon & back & all the way around the world.
I wish you a pleasant evening doing all the things you want. Fly high & fly free Tyler. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Forever you will be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? I hope that everything is well with you where you are. I often wonder how it is where there is no days of the week, months of the year, or time. Do you ever get bored? What do you do with yourself on a daily basis? How does it work where there is no concept of time? I try to imagine it but I just can't grasp any of it.
Today is a very rainy day here in Louisiana. The rain is really coming down. Tried to take Snickers out for a walk.. once he felt the rain that was it. He went to the bathroom & booked it right back to the doors to go back inside. It is 6 pm & Mark is still working. He has been gone since 6:30 am. It has been a long day alone in the hotel room. We really can't do much with having Snickers with us. He can't stay alone in the room, but I am not angry about it at all. I didn't want to board him so it is a small price to pay on this mini trip. It will be another early night because Mark has to be at work again at 6:30 am. We leave on Thursday morning & heading back to Texas. That is also Mark's Birthday. We will be on the road for most of it but he said that is ok. We will celebrate his special day over the weekend.
Before I get carried away with this letter, here is today's daily prayer: September 16~ Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity...? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in showing clemency. He will again have compassion upon us; he will tread our iniquities under foot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. Lord, you forgive us all our transgressions, & for that I am grateful. Though I strive to always do the right thing, I know that my sins will be forgiven if they are made with a heart willing to learn & to grow. By forgiving me, you free me to be who I am, warts & all, always knowing that I am loved no matter how badly I behave. I aspire to be perfect in your eyes, Lord, but it is good to know that if I fall short now & then, all is forgiven. I am so grateful that all my sins will be forgiven... with that said I try really hard not to create sins. When I was younger I didn't really think about it or care but as I got older I do care. I do try really hard. I thank God for the forgiveness every night before I fall asleep.
I hope that you are watching over Mom, Mark, our family, & friends. I haven't spoken to anyone since Sunday when we arrived here. I will contact them on Thursday when we arrive back in Texas. I hope that everyone is doing well. I hope that they are safe, happy, & healthy. It means a lot to Mom that you are our Angel. As you know our family & friends are everything to me. I miss seeing them, I miss seeing you too. I love you & everyone else.
Well, it is almost 6:30 pm & I need to be thinking of dinner seeings how Mark is still not back to the hotel yet. Guess it is a super late night. I hope that you have a peaceful evening my sweet precious son. I hope it is all that you want it to be & so much more. I will whisper to you this evening when we walk Snickers. I am pretty sure that I will not be seeing the moon & stars but I know you are shining brightly wherever you are.
You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul Tyler! I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? I hope that everything is well with you where you are. I often wonder how it is where there is no days of the week, months of the year, or time. Do you ever get bored? What do you do with yourself on a daily basis? How does it work where there is no concept of time? I try to imagine it but I just can't grasp any of it.
Today is a very rainy day here in Louisiana. The rain is really coming down. Tried to take Snickers out for a walk.. once he felt the rain that was it. He went to the bathroom & booked it right back to the doors to go back inside. It is 6 pm & Mark is still working. He has been gone since 6:30 am. It has been a long day alone in the hotel room. We really can't do much with having Snickers with us. He can't stay alone in the room, but I am not angry about it at all. I didn't want to board him so it is a small price to pay on this mini trip. It will be another early night because Mark has to be at work again at 6:30 am. We leave on Thursday morning & heading back to Texas. That is also Mark's Birthday. We will be on the road for most of it but he said that is ok. We will celebrate his special day over the weekend.
Before I get carried away with this letter, here is today's daily prayer: September 16~ Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity...? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in showing clemency. He will again have compassion upon us; he will tread our iniquities under foot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. Lord, you forgive us all our transgressions, & for that I am grateful. Though I strive to always do the right thing, I know that my sins will be forgiven if they are made with a heart willing to learn & to grow. By forgiving me, you free me to be who I am, warts & all, always knowing that I am loved no matter how badly I behave. I aspire to be perfect in your eyes, Lord, but it is good to know that if I fall short now & then, all is forgiven. I am so grateful that all my sins will be forgiven... with that said I try really hard not to create sins. When I was younger I didn't really think about it or care but as I got older I do care. I do try really hard. I thank God for the forgiveness every night before I fall asleep.
I hope that you are watching over Mom, Mark, our family, & friends. I haven't spoken to anyone since Sunday when we arrived here. I will contact them on Thursday when we arrive back in Texas. I hope that everyone is doing well. I hope that they are safe, happy, & healthy. It means a lot to Mom that you are our Angel. As you know our family & friends are everything to me. I miss seeing them, I miss seeing you too. I love you & everyone else.
Well, it is almost 6:30 pm & I need to be thinking of dinner seeings how Mark is still not back to the hotel yet. Guess it is a super late night. I hope that you have a peaceful evening my sweet precious son. I hope it is all that you want it to be & so much more. I will whisper to you this evening when we walk Snickers. I am pretty sure that I will not be seeing the moon & stars but I know you are shining brightly wherever you are.
You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul Tyler! I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, September 15, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! Told you that I would be writing to you today! Last night was kinda rough for us all. Snickers did not really settle down because of all the hotel noises so he kept Mark & I up most of the night. Poor Mark..he was the one who had to go to work today being so dang tired. I have been up since 7 am & I am exhausted while Snickers has been sleeping most of the day... go figure...lol! Anyways, I hope that today has been wonderful for you. I hope you are doing all that you want to do. I hope you are really as happy as I imagine you to be. I wonder what you are doing right now???? Wish I could know...curiosity is tough!
I have 3 days worth of the daily prayers so let me get those under way. September 13~ Those of steadfast mind you keep in peace---in peace because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord God you have an everlasting rock. Heavenly Father, let me carry your peace inside me today & use it as an anchor against the tumult of my daily life. It's so easy to get lost in my routines & my to-do list. The day's demands threaten to blow my off-course, but the knowledge of your strength & omnipotence can serve as a touch point,bringing me back to serenity again & again. Help me remember that peace is only a heartbeat away, whatever my outward circumstances. The blessing of peace grows best in the soil of faith & wisdom. Beautiful prayer that we all need to read over & over again. I know I need to & I will!
September 14~ If then your whole body is full of light, with no part of it in darkness, it will be as full of light as when a lamp gives you light with its rays. Let me be a light in the dark, Lord. Use me to my fullest capabilities as a force for compassionate good in the world. There is so much to be sad & depressed about & so many people crying out in need. Help me know the best way to serve the world--to reach out to those people & help to dry their tears. Let me be your light in the dark, dear Lord, shining like a beacon so that all who are lost can follow you. Amen. Today is the day to reach out & lend a helping hand. I know that I have been serving the world by my volunteering with the Relay For Life & giving Hope to so many people. It is something that I enjoy so much & look forward to doing it again very soon. I give other families that have been in similar situations as we were advice & use my knowledge to them to make their lives better. I didn't know what I was suppose to do after you passed but I am finding that I am helping my friends that lost their child (ren ) by talking to them & letting them know how I have gotten through these last 15 months. I continue to do my letters to you to help myself grieve, but I believe with the number of " hits " on here I am helping others in the United States & around the world.
September 15~ Listen! I am standing at the door, knocking; if you hear my voice & open the door, I will come in to you & eat with you, & you with me. I came to you late, O Beauty so ancient & new. I came to love you late. You were within me & I was outside where I rushed about wildly searching for you like some monster loose in your beautiful world. You were with me but I was not with you. You called me, you shouted to me, you wrapped me in your Splendour, you broke past my deafness, you bathed me in your Light, you sent my blindness reeling. You gave out such a delightful fragrance & I drew it in & came breathing hard after you. I tasted, & it made me hunger & thirst; you touched me, & I burned to know your peace. Thank you Lord for all that you do for me on a daily basis, all that you do for my family & friends. Thank you for all the blessings that we are given. None is taken for granted.
I can't believe how fast this day has gone by. I am awaiting Mark to get back so that we can go out & venture the city of Baton Rouge. Wonder what this little city has to offer. I will let you know tomorrow when I write to you. I hope that you have a wonderful evening my sweet precious son. I will look to the evening sky tonight & hope to see the moon & stars shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening & you can hear Mom. I miss you so much, Tyler. I hate this. I wish I didn't have to write to you. I wish I could just pick up the phone & call you or skype with you, or hop on a plane & come see you. I miss your smiling face, your voice. I miss everything about you. I love you so much. More than words can say. Always remember this! You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! Told you that I would be writing to you today! Last night was kinda rough for us all. Snickers did not really settle down because of all the hotel noises so he kept Mark & I up most of the night. Poor Mark..he was the one who had to go to work today being so dang tired. I have been up since 7 am & I am exhausted while Snickers has been sleeping most of the day... go figure...lol! Anyways, I hope that today has been wonderful for you. I hope you are doing all that you want to do. I hope you are really as happy as I imagine you to be. I wonder what you are doing right now???? Wish I could know...curiosity is tough!
I have 3 days worth of the daily prayers so let me get those under way. September 13~ Those of steadfast mind you keep in peace---in peace because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord God you have an everlasting rock. Heavenly Father, let me carry your peace inside me today & use it as an anchor against the tumult of my daily life. It's so easy to get lost in my routines & my to-do list. The day's demands threaten to blow my off-course, but the knowledge of your strength & omnipotence can serve as a touch point,bringing me back to serenity again & again. Help me remember that peace is only a heartbeat away, whatever my outward circumstances. The blessing of peace grows best in the soil of faith & wisdom. Beautiful prayer that we all need to read over & over again. I know I need to & I will!
September 14~ If then your whole body is full of light, with no part of it in darkness, it will be as full of light as when a lamp gives you light with its rays. Let me be a light in the dark, Lord. Use me to my fullest capabilities as a force for compassionate good in the world. There is so much to be sad & depressed about & so many people crying out in need. Help me know the best way to serve the world--to reach out to those people & help to dry their tears. Let me be your light in the dark, dear Lord, shining like a beacon so that all who are lost can follow you. Amen. Today is the day to reach out & lend a helping hand. I know that I have been serving the world by my volunteering with the Relay For Life & giving Hope to so many people. It is something that I enjoy so much & look forward to doing it again very soon. I give other families that have been in similar situations as we were advice & use my knowledge to them to make their lives better. I didn't know what I was suppose to do after you passed but I am finding that I am helping my friends that lost their child (ren ) by talking to them & letting them know how I have gotten through these last 15 months. I continue to do my letters to you to help myself grieve, but I believe with the number of " hits " on here I am helping others in the United States & around the world.
September 15~ Listen! I am standing at the door, knocking; if you hear my voice & open the door, I will come in to you & eat with you, & you with me. I came to you late, O Beauty so ancient & new. I came to love you late. You were within me & I was outside where I rushed about wildly searching for you like some monster loose in your beautiful world. You were with me but I was not with you. You called me, you shouted to me, you wrapped me in your Splendour, you broke past my deafness, you bathed me in your Light, you sent my blindness reeling. You gave out such a delightful fragrance & I drew it in & came breathing hard after you. I tasted, & it made me hunger & thirst; you touched me, & I burned to know your peace. Thank you Lord for all that you do for me on a daily basis, all that you do for my family & friends. Thank you for all the blessings that we are given. None is taken for granted.
I can't believe how fast this day has gone by. I am awaiting Mark to get back so that we can go out & venture the city of Baton Rouge. Wonder what this little city has to offer. I will let you know tomorrow when I write to you. I hope that you have a wonderful evening my sweet precious son. I will look to the evening sky tonight & hope to see the moon & stars shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening & you can hear Mom. I miss you so much, Tyler. I hate this. I wish I didn't have to write to you. I wish I could just pick up the phone & call you or skype with you, or hop on a plane & come see you. I miss your smiling face, your voice. I miss everything about you. I love you so much. More than words can say. Always remember this! You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetie! I am writing to tell you that we made it to Louisiana tonight around 5:30 pm. It was a beautiful day for a 4 1/2 hour drive. We are finally settled in our hotel room & we just got done eating dinner. We are both exhausted! I hope that you are well & are doing all the things you want to do.
I will write to you tomorrow & give you the last 3 daily prayers. Mom is tired & Snickers is not sure of the hotel room so he is whining a lot right now. Think I will take him for his last walk for the night.
I just wanted to tell you that I miss you so much & I wish I could experience all this traveling with you. I know we would have so much fun together. I know that you are with me....just in a very different way. I love you beyond words pumpkin.
I will be looking to the sky while I walk Snicks & I will be whispering to you. Hope you can hear Mom. I will write a longer letter in the morning. Sweet dreams my precious son.
Forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Thank you for being with us on the drive & keeping us safe. Means a lot to Mom & Mark. Watch over the rest of us too.
Hi sweetie! I am writing to tell you that we made it to Louisiana tonight around 5:30 pm. It was a beautiful day for a 4 1/2 hour drive. We are finally settled in our hotel room & we just got done eating dinner. We are both exhausted! I hope that you are well & are doing all the things you want to do.
I will write to you tomorrow & give you the last 3 daily prayers. Mom is tired & Snickers is not sure of the hotel room so he is whining a lot right now. Think I will take him for his last walk for the night.
I just wanted to tell you that I miss you so much & I wish I could experience all this traveling with you. I know we would have so much fun together. I know that you are with me....just in a very different way. I love you beyond words pumpkin.
I will be looking to the sky while I walk Snicks & I will be whispering to you. Hope you can hear Mom. I will write a longer letter in the morning. Sweet dreams my precious son.
Forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Thank you for being with us on the drive & keeping us safe. Means a lot to Mom & Mark. Watch over the rest of us too.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son!How are you doing on this rainy Friday afternoon? I hope that it is bright & sunny where you are! Mom is doing much better today. I am so sorry that I didn't write to you yesterday but I was not feeling well as you probably already know. I even called Mark to come home because I was scared & I never do that. Anyways... I do feel better so I say thank you because I did call on you to help Mom out.
Yesterday was such a sad day as it was September 11th... The day of the terrorist attack when the World Trade Centers got it. 13 years later & it still hurts like it was yesterday. I prayed for all those affected by that day. I remember driving to work that day & hearing it from Auntie Kristi. You were in school that day but we spoke when you immediately got back to the facility in Exeter, NH. I also remembered that 3 days later when I went to visit you I hugged you so tight. So much went through my head that day... I would give anything to hug you again. I miss you so much. I could never understand the pain that all those parents felt losing their child but I sure do know it now. It hurts every day & never gets easier.
I hear from Aunt Becky that you visited Bean the day/night she saw that spirit. I know you are there to protect her. She said that you never scare her & that you are really tall! That made me smile to hear what you look like. Aunt Becky was telling me about the incident & as she was telling me my hair stood on my arms & I had a vision of the guy. It was so real & that has never happened to me before. I was scared too. Aunt Becky spoke to Bean & told her my description & she said I was spot on. Now I am freaked out more. Please protect us all from what this is. I don't understand it but I know you will be right there with us all. Thank you Tyler. I love you.
I have 3 daily prayers to do in this letter so I better start them now. September 10~ Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. Lord, sometimes I'm overwhelmed with all the opportunities for showing compassion through monetary giving. We're deluged with requests in the mail, over the phone, & on the streets. We want to be generous with what you've given us, Lord, but I don't believe you expect us to honor all these requests. Please give us your wisdom & lead us, so that we can discern which requests are ours to fulfill & which ones will be met by others. We want to be compassionate yet wise stewards of all we have been given, Lord. Everything we comes from you, so please let us know how you want it distributed. I ask for this daily as there are times that I am not sure what to do or how to do things. I will continue to stay on the path that I have chosen.
September 11~ For the Lord will not reject for ever. Although he causes grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love. Dear Lord, whenever I face challenges to my faith, I wonder why you would allow me to be tested. I've already committed my life to you-isn't that enough? But then I realize that an untested faith is no faith at all & that it is necessary for me to go through difficult times in order to strengthen my resolve & my commitment to the Christian life. So now, I welcome these times. I know they will be tough, but I also know that with your help I will prevail over every temptation. Thank you for giving me these opportunities to grow in faith & to learn to rely on you more & more. Faith forms the bedrock upon which I stand, unswayed despite the winds of change. I sure have been through enough during my lifetime. I have always said that I am who I am because of these times. I know that everything happens for a reason. The hardships are given to us to overcome something that we chose to do when we came back into our next life. These hardships will continue to happen until we have learned what we needed to. I hope that I have learned all that I am suppose to with all that I have gone through. I know if there is more ( I hope not! ) I will have God, many Angels & you guiding me along the way!
September 12~There is no distinction, since all have sinned & fall short of the glory; they are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is Christ Jesus. Sovereign God, I have fallen short & disappointed. I have given in to temptation & let my weakness get the best of me. Now I stand before you, asking once again for your forgiveness & grace. Because of the promises you made to me, I know you won't keep your blessings from me. Thank you for being a merciful God, withholding no good things from me. Amen. To receive grace means that we are given good things in this life whether we deserve them or not. Not much needs to be said about this prayer. It is pretty cut & dry!
So the night sky is falling & the clouds are thick & dark. I am pretty sure that I will not see the moon & stars shining brightly tonight but I know that you will be there! I wish you a very peaceful & restful evening doing all that need & want to do. I ask that you watch over Mom, Mark, & the rest of our family & friends. Thank you for all you do. I miss you so much & I love you more than words could ever say. Sweet dreams my precious son. Forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I will whisper to you tonight so hope that you hear me!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son!How are you doing on this rainy Friday afternoon? I hope that it is bright & sunny where you are! Mom is doing much better today. I am so sorry that I didn't write to you yesterday but I was not feeling well as you probably already know. I even called Mark to come home because I was scared & I never do that. Anyways... I do feel better so I say thank you because I did call on you to help Mom out.
Yesterday was such a sad day as it was September 11th... The day of the terrorist attack when the World Trade Centers got it. 13 years later & it still hurts like it was yesterday. I prayed for all those affected by that day. I remember driving to work that day & hearing it from Auntie Kristi. You were in school that day but we spoke when you immediately got back to the facility in Exeter, NH. I also remembered that 3 days later when I went to visit you I hugged you so tight. So much went through my head that day... I would give anything to hug you again. I miss you so much. I could never understand the pain that all those parents felt losing their child but I sure do know it now. It hurts every day & never gets easier.
I hear from Aunt Becky that you visited Bean the day/night she saw that spirit. I know you are there to protect her. She said that you never scare her & that you are really tall! That made me smile to hear what you look like. Aunt Becky was telling me about the incident & as she was telling me my hair stood on my arms & I had a vision of the guy. It was so real & that has never happened to me before. I was scared too. Aunt Becky spoke to Bean & told her my description & she said I was spot on. Now I am freaked out more. Please protect us all from what this is. I don't understand it but I know you will be right there with us all. Thank you Tyler. I love you.
I have 3 daily prayers to do in this letter so I better start them now. September 10~ Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. Lord, sometimes I'm overwhelmed with all the opportunities for showing compassion through monetary giving. We're deluged with requests in the mail, over the phone, & on the streets. We want to be generous with what you've given us, Lord, but I don't believe you expect us to honor all these requests. Please give us your wisdom & lead us, so that we can discern which requests are ours to fulfill & which ones will be met by others. We want to be compassionate yet wise stewards of all we have been given, Lord. Everything we comes from you, so please let us know how you want it distributed. I ask for this daily as there are times that I am not sure what to do or how to do things. I will continue to stay on the path that I have chosen.
September 11~ For the Lord will not reject for ever. Although he causes grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love. Dear Lord, whenever I face challenges to my faith, I wonder why you would allow me to be tested. I've already committed my life to you-isn't that enough? But then I realize that an untested faith is no faith at all & that it is necessary for me to go through difficult times in order to strengthen my resolve & my commitment to the Christian life. So now, I welcome these times. I know they will be tough, but I also know that with your help I will prevail over every temptation. Thank you for giving me these opportunities to grow in faith & to learn to rely on you more & more. Faith forms the bedrock upon which I stand, unswayed despite the winds of change. I sure have been through enough during my lifetime. I have always said that I am who I am because of these times. I know that everything happens for a reason. The hardships are given to us to overcome something that we chose to do when we came back into our next life. These hardships will continue to happen until we have learned what we needed to. I hope that I have learned all that I am suppose to with all that I have gone through. I know if there is more ( I hope not! ) I will have God, many Angels & you guiding me along the way!
September 12~There is no distinction, since all have sinned & fall short of the glory; they are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is Christ Jesus. Sovereign God, I have fallen short & disappointed. I have given in to temptation & let my weakness get the best of me. Now I stand before you, asking once again for your forgiveness & grace. Because of the promises you made to me, I know you won't keep your blessings from me. Thank you for being a merciful God, withholding no good things from me. Amen. To receive grace means that we are given good things in this life whether we deserve them or not. Not much needs to be said about this prayer. It is pretty cut & dry!
So the night sky is falling & the clouds are thick & dark. I am pretty sure that I will not see the moon & stars shining brightly tonight but I know that you will be there! I wish you a very peaceful & restful evening doing all that need & want to do. I ask that you watch over Mom, Mark, & the rest of our family & friends. Thank you for all you do. I miss you so much & I love you more than words could ever say. Sweet dreams my precious son. Forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I will whisper to you tonight so hope that you hear me!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? I hope everything is wonderful where you are & what you have been doing today & this evening. Today is Grandpa's Birthday. I hope you went to visit him & gave him a kiss. I hope you said Happy Birthday to him. I talked to him this morning for a little bit. Sure do miss him bunches. He said the weather was beautiful for his special day. I was so happy to hear that. He is someone that is special to me. I have always been a Daddy's Girl & I always will be. I hope he had a wonderful day because he so deserves it.
I spoke to Meme tonight too. She is doing well but unfortunately Bob is not, but I am sure you already know this. It makes me so sad to hear of all this. He is such a good man & step dad to me. He doesn't deserve this suffering. Is there anything that you can do for him, Tyler? If so please help him out. Help Meme too... it is hard on her as well. It makes me worry a lot about them. I dislike being so far away. Thank you pumpkin. It means a lot to us all.
Everything else is good. Still busy getting things set for the Wedding in 3 months & this coming Sunday we are traveling to Louisiana for Mark's work. It is like a 4 hour drive there so it won't be so bad. Please watch over us as you always do, but just a little extra so we get there safely & return back home safely too. Thanks!
I have 2 days to catch up on for our daily prayers so I will start that now. September 8~ The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your Spirit. Dear Lord, thank you for showing us through your Word how your early followers cared for one another. Whether in greeting or at a time of departure, they often asked for a blessing of grace for one another. So do we, Lord. Please send your blessing of grace to all those we love, all those we encounter, & all those we hope to lead closer to you. And may your grace encourage us & lift our spirits, just as it did for all who received it in centuries past. Such a nice & simple prayer asking for blessings in our every day life to all that we love & cherish. I do this daily. I will always continue to as well.
September 9~ ( Grandpa's Birthday! ) We have not ceased praying for you & asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of God's will in all spiritual wisdom & understanding, so that you may lead lives worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, as you bear fruit in every good work & as you grow in the knowledge of God. Father in heaven, one of the biggest challenges we face is our attempt to understand things through your eyes. It simply can't be done fully here on earth, but that shouldn't stop us from trying or even from asking you why you do things the way you do. At the same time please keep us humble, Father. We know that you ways are not always our ways, but from your eternal perspective they always lead us in the right direction for our lives. Never give up on us. We need your guidance in our lives, & we welcome it. Thank you for your forgiveness when we question you instead of simply trusting you. The loving Spirit that created you is always available to guide you into a better life. I often question why things happen the way they do. Times I get frustrated & even angry. I yell, scream & cry because I don't understand why... since you passed I am learning that God has his plans for me & things go the way they are suppose to. I may not always like it or have to like it but it is done this way for a reason. I have to learn to trust & put all my faith in God's hands. I am learning this slowly, but I am learning. Day to day I remind myself. Thank you for your help as well Tyler. I know you are there lending a helping hand to Mom. I am so honored of you my sweet precious son. Always have & always will be. I miss you so much. I love you beyond any words I could ever express to you.
I haven't been outside this evening but I am sure whether the moon & stars are visible you are shining brightly up there in the heavens above. I will whisper to you as I always do so I hope you will be listening out & can hear Mom. I hope you have a peaceful evening. Sweet dreams my sweet son. Forever in my heart & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
P.S. I heard tonight that you have been visiting Brandy frequently. She told Aunt Becky that. So happy to hear of this. Other things are going on with her as well. I believe you are there to protect her. Watch over her ( and us all daily ). Thank you!
P.S.S. Meme could use some protection as well. Things are happening to her too. I know you know what I am talking about. Make sure to stop in & see her...just don't scare her Ty..lol = ] Thanks pumpkin ( or as Meme would say.. Peanut! )
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? I hope everything is wonderful where you are & what you have been doing today & this evening. Today is Grandpa's Birthday. I hope you went to visit him & gave him a kiss. I hope you said Happy Birthday to him. I talked to him this morning for a little bit. Sure do miss him bunches. He said the weather was beautiful for his special day. I was so happy to hear that. He is someone that is special to me. I have always been a Daddy's Girl & I always will be. I hope he had a wonderful day because he so deserves it.
I spoke to Meme tonight too. She is doing well but unfortunately Bob is not, but I am sure you already know this. It makes me so sad to hear of all this. He is such a good man & step dad to me. He doesn't deserve this suffering. Is there anything that you can do for him, Tyler? If so please help him out. Help Meme too... it is hard on her as well. It makes me worry a lot about them. I dislike being so far away. Thank you pumpkin. It means a lot to us all.
Everything else is good. Still busy getting things set for the Wedding in 3 months & this coming Sunday we are traveling to Louisiana for Mark's work. It is like a 4 hour drive there so it won't be so bad. Please watch over us as you always do, but just a little extra so we get there safely & return back home safely too. Thanks!
I have 2 days to catch up on for our daily prayers so I will start that now. September 8~ The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your Spirit. Dear Lord, thank you for showing us through your Word how your early followers cared for one another. Whether in greeting or at a time of departure, they often asked for a blessing of grace for one another. So do we, Lord. Please send your blessing of grace to all those we love, all those we encounter, & all those we hope to lead closer to you. And may your grace encourage us & lift our spirits, just as it did for all who received it in centuries past. Such a nice & simple prayer asking for blessings in our every day life to all that we love & cherish. I do this daily. I will always continue to as well.
September 9~ ( Grandpa's Birthday! ) We have not ceased praying for you & asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of God's will in all spiritual wisdom & understanding, so that you may lead lives worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, as you bear fruit in every good work & as you grow in the knowledge of God. Father in heaven, one of the biggest challenges we face is our attempt to understand things through your eyes. It simply can't be done fully here on earth, but that shouldn't stop us from trying or even from asking you why you do things the way you do. At the same time please keep us humble, Father. We know that you ways are not always our ways, but from your eternal perspective they always lead us in the right direction for our lives. Never give up on us. We need your guidance in our lives, & we welcome it. Thank you for your forgiveness when we question you instead of simply trusting you. The loving Spirit that created you is always available to guide you into a better life. I often question why things happen the way they do. Times I get frustrated & even angry. I yell, scream & cry because I don't understand why... since you passed I am learning that God has his plans for me & things go the way they are suppose to. I may not always like it or have to like it but it is done this way for a reason. I have to learn to trust & put all my faith in God's hands. I am learning this slowly, but I am learning. Day to day I remind myself. Thank you for your help as well Tyler. I know you are there lending a helping hand to Mom. I am so honored of you my sweet precious son. Always have & always will be. I miss you so much. I love you beyond any words I could ever express to you.
I haven't been outside this evening but I am sure whether the moon & stars are visible you are shining brightly up there in the heavens above. I will whisper to you as I always do so I hope you will be listening out & can hear Mom. I hope you have a peaceful evening. Sweet dreams my sweet son. Forever in my heart & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
P.S. I heard tonight that you have been visiting Brandy frequently. She told Aunt Becky that. So happy to hear of this. Other things are going on with her as well. I believe you are there to protect her. Watch over her ( and us all daily ). Thank you!
P.S.S. Meme could use some protection as well. Things are happening to her too. I know you know what I am talking about. Make sure to stop in & see her...just don't scare her Ty..lol = ] Thanks pumpkin ( or as Meme would say.. Peanut! )
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! I hope that you are having a wonderful day today doing all the things you need & want to do. I hope that it is sunny with blue skies where you are because it is not here in Texas today! The skies were sunny & blue but then it got very dark, thunder, & lightning. The storm was quite scary because the clouds were moving quite fast & in many directions. The color was almost a greenish too. Sweated it out for about a 1/2 hour while watching the whole thing. I whispered to you to make us safe & for it to pass quickly. Guess you heard me & helped out. Thanks!
This weekend went really fast. Mark took his big certification test on Saturday. He did really well. He has been prepping for this thing for almost 4 months. The test was 4 hours long & he had to go to the Reliant Stadium which is in downtown Houston. Was a long day for him & for Mom. Today, Sunday we are laying low & not doing anything but relaxing & watching football. Sorry to say that your Miami Dolphins lost, Houston Texans won, Atlanta Falcons won, & now we are watching the Dallas Cowboys play the San Francisco 49er's play! I know you are saying the Cowboys suck but you know that is my team, Ty!!!! Hope that they will play better this year because last year was such a disappointment. I know the Patriots played as well... didn't hear if they won or not. Anyways... that is what we are up to today.
Here are the daily prayers for the last 2 days. September 6~ They shall obtain joy & gladness, & sorrow & sighting shall flee away. I, I am who comforts you. Lord, why is it that when the struggles, challenges, & hurts of life press in upon me, even my physical presence is downtrodden? In times of trial & grief I sometimes feel as if I'm just struggling through quicksand with my head bowed & my eyes downcast. But you, O Lord, are the lifters of my head. In time, I realize that looking down won't solve anything but looking up will. I praise you, Lord. Oh Tyler, how I can relate to this so much! Especially the part about grieving. I try everyday to be someone you would want me to be instead of the person I feel like. I am trying to keep my head high & try to understand everything that had to happen. It is a struggle but I work on it daily. Be patient with me. I love you.
September 7th~ He shall stand & feed his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they shall live secure, for now he shall be great to the ends of the earth; and he shall be the one of peace. God grant me peace that is steadfast & true, a peace that never fails me no matter what is going on in my world. Give to me a soft place to fall & a shelter in which my heart & soul can stay dry from the rain. Your peace gives me hope, faith, & strength & allows me to be strong for others who may need me. Make me an instrument of your peace so that even as I help myself, I can help everyone else around me. Thank you, God. Such a beautiful prayer. Not in these exact words but nevertheless I say this on a regular basis. I ask to help Mark & myself plus our family & friends too. Always have & always will.
Wow... the storm is still going or another one is starting. The bolts of lightning are intense right now & the thunder is loud. I wonder if you are still scared of them or if you like them now??? I don't think my chances are good to be able to see the stars & moon tonight but that is ok. I know you are watching over Mom & the rest of us all. I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope you have a fun filled evening with whatever you get to do. I miss you & I love you beyond anything that I could ever express. I hope you always know this. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Sweet dreams my precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! I hope that you are having a wonderful day today doing all the things you need & want to do. I hope that it is sunny with blue skies where you are because it is not here in Texas today! The skies were sunny & blue but then it got very dark, thunder, & lightning. The storm was quite scary because the clouds were moving quite fast & in many directions. The color was almost a greenish too. Sweated it out for about a 1/2 hour while watching the whole thing. I whispered to you to make us safe & for it to pass quickly. Guess you heard me & helped out. Thanks!
This weekend went really fast. Mark took his big certification test on Saturday. He did really well. He has been prepping for this thing for almost 4 months. The test was 4 hours long & he had to go to the Reliant Stadium which is in downtown Houston. Was a long day for him & for Mom. Today, Sunday we are laying low & not doing anything but relaxing & watching football. Sorry to say that your Miami Dolphins lost, Houston Texans won, Atlanta Falcons won, & now we are watching the Dallas Cowboys play the San Francisco 49er's play! I know you are saying the Cowboys suck but you know that is my team, Ty!!!! Hope that they will play better this year because last year was such a disappointment. I know the Patriots played as well... didn't hear if they won or not. Anyways... that is what we are up to today.
Here are the daily prayers for the last 2 days. September 6~ They shall obtain joy & gladness, & sorrow & sighting shall flee away. I, I am who comforts you. Lord, why is it that when the struggles, challenges, & hurts of life press in upon me, even my physical presence is downtrodden? In times of trial & grief I sometimes feel as if I'm just struggling through quicksand with my head bowed & my eyes downcast. But you, O Lord, are the lifters of my head. In time, I realize that looking down won't solve anything but looking up will. I praise you, Lord. Oh Tyler, how I can relate to this so much! Especially the part about grieving. I try everyday to be someone you would want me to be instead of the person I feel like. I am trying to keep my head high & try to understand everything that had to happen. It is a struggle but I work on it daily. Be patient with me. I love you.
September 7th~ He shall stand & feed his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they shall live secure, for now he shall be great to the ends of the earth; and he shall be the one of peace. God grant me peace that is steadfast & true, a peace that never fails me no matter what is going on in my world. Give to me a soft place to fall & a shelter in which my heart & soul can stay dry from the rain. Your peace gives me hope, faith, & strength & allows me to be strong for others who may need me. Make me an instrument of your peace so that even as I help myself, I can help everyone else around me. Thank you, God. Such a beautiful prayer. Not in these exact words but nevertheless I say this on a regular basis. I ask to help Mark & myself plus our family & friends too. Always have & always will.
Wow... the storm is still going or another one is starting. The bolts of lightning are intense right now & the thunder is loud. I wonder if you are still scared of them or if you like them now??? I don't think my chances are good to be able to see the stars & moon tonight but that is ok. I know you are watching over Mom & the rest of us all. I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope you have a fun filled evening with whatever you get to do. I miss you & I love you beyond anything that I could ever express. I hope you always know this. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Sweet dreams my precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, September 5, 2014
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