Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing today on this Wednesday afternoon? I hope whatever you are doing & wherever you may be is making you happy & you are smiling like crazy. I sure do miss that smile of yours! That " Cheshire cat grin " you always used to give = ]. Mom is writing to you early in hopes that I can do the necessary things I have to & then relax for the rest of the day. I haven't been feeling the greatest the last couple nights. Been up mostly around the clock with very little sleep. Not sure what is going on but I really could use your help along with the Angels on getting back to feeling like me! I still could use the help in the nightmare department too. Those are still happening & I am not sure why but I would like them to stop. Anyways... I wanted to write to you because I was missing it & I am missing you badly today. Guess this is a harder day then most. Everything else here is fine. Mark is well & Snickers is still getting used to being the only pup. He has his good days & his bad days of missing Max just like we do. I can't believe that next week it will be 2 months since he passed. So hard to believe that time is just passing us by so quickly. Sunday it will be 15 months since you left. Blows my mind on that. I still can't get used to this. I just keep thinking you are on vacation & can't call me or we can't skype while you are away. I guess it is what I call a "head game" to help me cope with losing you. Sad isn't it??? I just don't know what else to do.
 I wanted to write out the last 2 days of the daily prayers. So here is the 1st one. September 2~ I am like an evergreen cypress;your faithfulness comes from me. Dear God, the ability to talk to you directly & bring my cares & needs to you is nothing short of incredible. That a being of your magnitude & limitless power wants to have a personal relationship with each of your creatures amazes me. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to feel your presence daily. Knowing you are near me makes me love you more. Our delight in God's love cannot compare with his joy in loving us. Just a beautiful prayer, Tyler. I pray daily as you know & I have come to believe & live that I can't change anything or anyone. I ask for help & leave it in the hands of God. I believe this helps me keep my stress level down & helps me daily. 
 September 3~ I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. Dear Jesus, with your death, you gave me hope. I no longer have to fear the future or shy away from death. Lord, you have liberated me through your selfless sacrifice. I accept your gift with open arms, embracing you & the life you have promised me. Thank you for giving yourself wholly for me, & I endeavor to do the same- to offer my life to you & to your will. Take me & use me, for I am yours. Amen. I am trying to do this daily. Some days are better then others for me, but I am trying. I do thank God for my life & all the blessings that I have. I am trying to embrace the changes that have come in my life & to see all the good in them. 
 I hope that you enjoy the daily prayers as much as I like writing them to you in my letters. In the last 20+ years I have not been the go to Church kind of girl, but I do believe & I pray daily like I have told you. I have my own relationship with God & I believe that, that is ok. I had become more active in my faith since you always spoke about it with curiosity & even more since you passed away. I don't believe that I am a bad person... I have had my share of times but I know that I have done a lot of good in my life so far so I will continue to do just this so I have all the chances in the world to be reunited with you some day. I know I will be because you have already told me this!
 The day is still bright, warm & cheery but Mom is getting tired & I have a headache. I will look forward to the evening sky to see if the stars & moon are out shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do so hopefully you will be listening for Mom. Thanks for showing me the moon last night! 1st time seeing in it a couple weeks. It was such a nice surprise. Made me smile. I hope that your evening tonight is all that you want & need it to be. Please watch over us like you do. All your family & friends miss you & need you still. I know Mom does. May you fly high & free tonight. Sweet dreams my precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!