Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today on this Sunday evening? I hope you are well wherever you may be. Mom has definitely had better days then today but I am doing ok so don't worry. Just a little upset with my appointment today at the bridal store. I was suppose to go for my 1st fitting for my dress & there was a big mix up. My dress was switched with someone else's. The dress I chose is no longer in production so they are trying to locate another dress for Mom or if they can't I have to look for a different one. I was upset to no end but I was proud of myself. I didn't raise my voice or anything. They have 2 weeks to locate another one before I go in on October 12th. We shall see. Everything else is ok. Nothing major is going on. Spoke to Meme, Auntie Kristina, Auntie Kristi, Marion & a couple others this weekend. That was nice as I am really homesick lately. Missing you, missing family, & friends, & everything else. Just a tough time for Mom right now. I am sorry that I haven't written in a few days but you know why.. I don't need to explain myself. I have 4 prayers to write out so I think I better start now..lol!
 September 25~ The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul;...the commandment of the Lord is clear, enlightening the eyes----More to be desired are they then gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey, & dripping of the honeycomb. Dear God, you have told us that if we humbly follow your commandments, you will bless us. I have done the best I can, striving to act in accordance with your laws. But I still feel abandoned by you, & I feel lonely & unloved. I know you are here with me, & my faith continues to be strong, but why can't I hear you or feel your loving touch? Please, I pray, send a sign that I have not been forgotten by you. Let me see your love for me so that I may joyfully do your will. And please give me strength to continue on my path until you show your face to me again. These things I ask in your cherished name. Amen. God will never give us a burden to bear without giving us the grace to endure it. Ty, I have nothing to say tho this prayer. I am torn by it & will have to come to it at another time. 
 September 26~ Set the believers an example in speech & conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Lord, please help me serve as an example for others who are hoping to renew their lives. I want them to look at me & know of your transformation powers. I want to show them how you, heavenly Father, can take something dead & wasted in spirit & turn it into a living, thriving being, overflowing with love. You have worked miracles in my life, & I want to be a testament to your holy power. Mold me into your image, so I may encourage others in their journeys. Love is at the heart of all healing. I thank God for all the miracles that he has given Mom. There were times he didn't have to but he did & I am forever grateful for them. 
 September 27~ For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, says the Lord God. Turn, then, & live. Dear Lord, oftentimes when people say they hope for something, it sounds like a wish they know will never be granted. But because I am a Christian, what I hope for most----eternal life in Christ---will indeed come to pass one day. Please help me reach out to my friends & acquaintances who do not yet know you. Help me find the right words to tell them that knowing Jesus is the sweetest & best hop that anyone could ever have, all the better because it is possible, right now, today. Help me spread the word of your love for the world so that everyone has the opportunity to know you as I do. I really no longer " wish " for anything. I know that what is suppose to happen will happen when the time is right. I guess I am learning a lot while I get older!
 September 28~If there is among you anyone in need, a member of your community in any of your towns within the land that the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hard-hearted or tight- fisted towards your needy neighbor. Sovereign Lord, as part of my spiritual journey here on earth. I want to grow in my ability to love & care for others. You have provided us such a wonderful example in your Son, Jesus Christ, & I ask that you help me follow in his path, giving with all my heart to everyone I encounter. Please continue to show me how to develop my ability to love others, knowing what to offer them & how to meet their needs. I ask in your name. Amen. 
 The evening sky is getting darker now. I am hoping that in a few that Snickers will want to take a walk. I hope to see the stars shining brightly & the moon. Regardless, I will whisper to you as I always do every night. I hope that your night ( is there even night up in Heaven?? ) is all that you need & want it to be. I miss you so much Tyler. It hurts so much. My heart aches & Mom will never be the same person as I was before. I try & boy do I ever try. Just continue to be patient with Mom. I will someday make you proud. Just remember you are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!