Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing today on this Friday afternoon? If I had to guess you are right here with me while I am typing you this letter or you are doing something amazing & important. Either way I know you are free of any pain that you had while you were here with me & you are happy. That is all I ever wanted for you. I wish that I could see you & talk to you again though. I miss you so much. Some days it feels like you have been gone for several years & others it seems like it just happened. No matter how much time has gone by I always am reliving the 3 day nightmare before you passed & the week after & every day after that. In 15 more days it will be 15 months. I still hear from so many people that they miss you & love you. You were such an inspiration to so many people. I know you never believed it but you were. You amazed me. You were & always will be my true Hero!!! 
 I know that I have a couple of daily prayers to type to you so I better get those started. Here is the 1st one. September 4~ For you, O Lord, have blessed & are blessed forever. Almighty God, I thank you for giving me the ability to be blessed by simple things. A friend drives by as I'm walking, & my mood is lightened by her smile& her wave. 3 deer stroll across my lawn & peek in at my office window. A hummingbird lingers over me just a moment while I'm reading outdoors as if to say hello. My life is tremendously rich with simple moments like these, Lord. I recognize that each & every one is a blessing from you, & I thank you. We have talked about this many of times Tyler. We may not have had every material thing we ever wanted & life at times were definite struggles but we were rich in so many ways. We awoke each morning for a new day to start, we have a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs, many family & friends that loved us, & most of all we always had each other. I can remember at times just stepping outside to feel the sun on my face, the smell of fresh cut grass, hear the birds chirping... the simple things that made me smile. These days I don't do that as often as I should. Sometimes it is hard for me to just smile at all. I try my hardest but no matter what I am thankful for everything that I still do have. I make sure to express my gratitude to God for each...every morning & every night. 
 September 5~ Like obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires that you formerly had in ignorance. Instead, as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct; for it is written, " You shall be holy, for I am holy. "  Lord, in you I find renewal & the courage to see in a different way. By following your will, I am filled with an excitement, energy, & enthusiasm for life that recharges my purpose & gives me new hope that all will be well. I thank you for this chance to do things differently, with a different perspective, & to follow the light you shine for me, making my path easier. In your presence I know I can accomplish anything & live my dreams. Amen. I can't say that I am fully there yet or if I ever really will be but again I am trying my hardest. I am finding the renewal & courage through God, but through you as well, Tyler. 
 The weather is rainy right now & the clouds are thick, & the sky is gray. I am not sure if this is something that rolled in & will be leaving just as quick or if it is going to be like this through the evening. I am hoping that when I go out later for a nightly walk with Snickers the sky will have cleared & I can see the moon & stars shining brightly. That always makes me smile.. another little thing in life! I will whisper to you as I always do whether I can see them or not. I hope that you have a wonderful evening with doing all that you want & need to do. Please continue to watch over us all. Thank you my precious son. I miss you beyond any words could every say & I love you so much. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!