Dear Tyler,

Hi sweetie. How are you doing? I hope you are well wherever you may be. Today was a better day for Mom here in Louisiana. The weather was at least dry & humid. I am quite tired as I have been awake since 6:00 am. We were suppose to be leaving early tomorrow morning but Mark just let me know that he has to work until 11 am tomorrow morning. This sucks. Looks like we will be traveling during the afternoon & evening & hitting all the freaking traffic. I wanted to be home before 2 pm but that is not going to happen. I am a little upset with the whole thing. I haven't done anything since we have been here. I have sat in the hotel room alone for 12+ hours a day. The hotel is near nothing in walking distance & we had Snickers with us & he couldn't be left alone at all. Part of me wishes I had stayed behind in Texas. At least I would have been home & could have done the same thing as I did here except in the comfort of my own home. Mark doesn't really understand either because he is the one who has been around people & out of the hotel room more than in it. He has only been here long enough to sleep & then leave again. He doesn't understand why I am upset. That kinda makes me even more mad...ugh!!! Anyways... enough of my ranting & venting. 
 I can't believe that in 3 days it will be the 15 month mark that you have been gone. To think about it hurts me so I try so hard not to but I have had no luck in that. Time just seems to be flying by. In ways that makes me happy & in other ways it makes me sad. I hate this time of every month. All the horror, anger, & tears all come back & it sucks. I wish you were here with Mom. I wish we could talk, laugh, joke around again... just like we used to. I know you are happy & I am happy for you... just wish I could find a happy place again. Maybe someday... just not right now or tomorrow.
 I spoke to Meme today... she was telling me that Bob is just getting even more sick daily. Passing out & blacking out. He is losing weight rapidly, not eating. He has other medical issues going on that have popped up in the last month. He is sick of being sick... we can understand that, huh? I feel so helpless & sad that he has to go through all this pain & suffering. He has a doctor's appointment so hopefully something good will come out of it. He just keeps saying that he doesn't want to live anymore. I do understand where he is coming from... again it just makes me sad. I hurt for him & I hurt for Meme. Please watch over them a little more than normal. Thanks Tyler. It means  a lot to Mom.
 I started to write to you the daily prayer of the day but as I was typing it seemed familiar so I looked back on yesterdays letter & realized that I did today's prayer on yesterdays letter to you. Wow.. am I that out it it this week? Sorry about that. I have no daily prayer for you. I will continue to get back on track tomorrow night. I will say my usual prayers that I say nightly. I know you hear me. 
 I am hoping that the moon & stars will be out this evening so I can see the brightly lit night sky in Louisiana, but I won't hold my breath. It has been raining every night since we have been here. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope you will be listening for Mom. I miss you so much. I wish you & others could understand just how much that is but I know that I will never be able to express it in any words. I love you beyond anything in this world & so much more. To the moon & back & all the way around the world.
 I wish you a pleasant evening doing all the things you want. Fly high & fly free Tyler. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Forever you will be in my heart, mind, & soul. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!