Monday, September 1, 2014

Dear Tyler, 

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Labor Day? I know that where you are there are no holidays or special events like there are here but I can't help myself from asking you when things come up. Today is September 1st... Summer is officially over now. Beaches & amusement parks are now closed, school is in session for all the kids again for another school year, the weather is going to change soon for us all, & the day light hours will be shorter. As you know Fall was & still is my favorite time of year. I do get homesick though during this time. The Fall is so present there in NH. The nights are cooler, the mornings are crisp, & the days are just right. The leaves have started to change already & will continue to & pretty soon they will all fall to the ground. Apple picking already started, the baking of the goodies, & before you know it the holidays will be approaching again. Fall here in Texas is the weather starts to get a little cooler... mid to upper 80's instead of the 90 - 100+ degree weather. Some of the plants lose their flowers but no leaves change & there is nothing else that makes it special. Again... I will not complain as I know what the next season is up North & I will take the Winter here over the damn snow anytime. I miss the Fall season with you. That was the best time to do all kinds of stuff with you. Not too hot & not too cold for you... always just right. I miss taking long drives, long walks, going to so many places with you. I miss so much now. I miss you! I always got excited because Halloween was approaching & that was your all time favorite holiday! I loved to decorate the house with you. It was great scaring all your nurses with the decor. I loved hearing you laugh. Something that I miss oh so much. I miss seeing you & I miss hearing your voice. I will never get over losing you...EVER!!!!
 I haven't written to you in a couple nights. I hope you are not mad at Mom. Sometimes I make the effort to & then I get side tracked with something else & it gets to be too late to write. I do however always talk to you no matter what. All hours of the day & night. I hope you can hear me every time. I want to take the time now & write the 3 daily prayers to you. Here is the first one: August 30~ All these blessings shall come upon you & overtake you, if you obey the Lord your God: Blessed shall you be when you come in, & blessed shall you be when you go out. God, I thank you today for the many blessings that fill my life with little joys & big miracles. I'm in awe that you have seen fit to shower your kindness upon me & my loved ones, & never for a moment do I take for granted what you have done for me. I live each day in thankfulness & appreciation, even for the challenges you put before me, knowing that many blessings come to me in countless ways. Thank you, God, for continuing to bless me as you do. When you focus on the good in your life, it tends to attract even more. Wow, Tyler, as I reread this prayer I can't think of one that suits me more. I am so blessed & grateful for all that I have & as you know I always told you & I still tell others to this day that I take nothing for granted & I never will. Living & breathing is a blessing & I thank God for this simple thing every day. 
 August 31~ I will forgive their iniquity, & remember their sin no more. Dear Lord, I wish I had your ability to forget sin. How marvelous that you promise to remove our sin as far the east is from the west & to remember it no more! Every time we confess a sin to you, it's as if it's the first time we sinned. Lord, I'm just not good at forgetting sins, even if I can forgive them. It's my nature to hold onto grudges & to remember everything from the unintentional slight to the egregious sin. Help me, Lord! Give me your amazing ability to forgive---- & forget. I am trying every day to forgive all the sins that I commit daily. I am trying to let go of all that people have done to me & what I have done to myself. I am trying not to have grudges on anyone anymore. It is a slow process but I think I am making progress  = ]
 September 1~ [ Jesus taught ] " You shall love your neighbor as yourself ." God, I thank you for the blessings of love from good friends. My friends shower me with love & care every day, & I feel comfort knowing they are always there for me. I am so grateful for each one of them, as different & unique as they are, & for the things they teach me. My friends are like gemstones, so priceless & beautiful. Thank you for friends old, for friends new, & for friends yet to come. What a blessing to have someone who wants to share all our joys & sorrows! This prayer is refreshing to Mom. I am always thankful for all the friends I have. Friends to me are blessings & are cherished just like family. I used to think you needed a ton of friends but now as I am older I realize I don't. I have amazing people in my life right now & I know that these are the ones that are meant to be with me at this time. I love each of them & always will!
 The night sky has fallen & the stars are out. Not sure where that moon has been but I haven't seen it for some time now. I know it is shining up there somewhere & you are doing so many beautiful & wonderful things. Even though I can't see any of it, I am proud of you, Tyler. I always have & will always will. You will always be the best thing that ever happened to me. My one true love! I love you so much. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. Later when Snicks goes for his walk I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening out. 
 Have a great night. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. I miss you.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

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