Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom is doing okay. I made it through yesterday with a few breakdowns but honestly I was pretty proud of myself for how I did. My mind was always on you & the memories of that day. Mom has been living it every day for the past 4 years. I grieved every day for you when you were here in the physical world & I grieve every day for not having you here with me. Mom is just in a constant grieving pattern. I miss you so much. I will always miss you. I loved you even before I met you & I still love you now. That will never go away or stop. You were my everything...you still are. Mom loves you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. More than all the stars in the sky & to infinity & beyond. Mom had several family & friends send me sweet messages yesterday & phone calls. For it being a difficult day they all sure made it a little easier. Everyone was so kind with memories of you...some made me laugh & some made me tear up. Mom is sure that you saw & read every single one of them too! 
 Today is the 1st official day of Summer & the weather is nice & warm. The sky is sunny & the sky is blue. Mom saw a small sunset last night & the clouds were neat. They were fluffy white & black almost but they had like a hot pink color running through them. I took some pictures. Meme made me laugh because she said they were scary looking & Mom thought they were cool. 4 years ago today you & Mark's Star that Mom bought you both for Christmas that year went up in Space. I remember we were waiting to watch it together but they kept changing the dates on us. Finally they had the date & we never got to see it. Mom wonders if you got to see it & if so what did it look like? Mom wonders what the moon & stars look like to you now? I bet they are beautiful. Mom is hoping that I get the chance to see some stars & the moon shining bright in the sky tonight. Its been a few days since that has happened. Maybe just maybe Mom will see a gorgeous painting in the sky as well. That would be a nice surprise. No pressure though, Ty ;) 
 Mom spoke to Meme, Aunt Beck & Bean last night. Like I was telling you...Aunt Beck has what Mom has..that cold & nasty cough & now John is catching it. Hope they both feel better soon. Bean is doing well. We chatted for about 30 minutes which was very nice. She sounds good. She was telling me she was sick for 6 weeks with this stuff. Ugh! Hope it doesn't last that long for Mom. It is week 2 for me & 3 1/2 weeks for Mark. This is crazy! Work is going well for her & her personal life seems to be looking up as well. Mom is happy for her. She deserves it! Mom will speak to Grandpa tonight & Meme again so I can find out how Bob's appointment went today. I am anxious to hear what the doctors said. They all will be here for 5 days the 1st week of July. That will be nice to spend some time with them & not just a few hours. Mom is looking forward to that. Mark is too as he has just been straight out with work. He needs a nice break. Mom is worried about him still. His job is just piling more & more clients on him. I say very little about it as I don't want to start an argument but I am very concerned. I know you watch over us all the time & as much as you can. Please continue my sweet precious son. It means so much to Mom. Thank you. That is all the updates that I have for you today. 
 Here is a daily prayer for you: May you begin to see your setbacks as temporary, your delays as detours & your heartbreaks as opportunities to experience God's precious, powerful healing. In the meantime, may God give you glimpses of glory, insights into His good plan for you. Be assured that God has never left your side; He'll never let you go. May God help you see with supernatural insight so that you won't be deceived by the enemy of your soul or by your past painful filters or by your fears in the future. In fact, right here--in this place--may your divine perspective hugely inspire your faith steps. You are mighty in God & He is mighty in you. Amen! 
 Here is an inspirational message for today: Clarity~ Every day that I wake I am a new person ready for another journey. I am excited by this life that I have been given & I treasure my health, family & friends. I have unlimited potential to create whatever life I wish for myself. The only limits I have are the ones that I place on myself. Every experience I have in this life creates who I am. I allow myself to experience all of the emotions that arise in me & I go forward with ease & grace. I have a crystal clear vision of where I want to go in my life!
Well, Tyler.... it is that time again of the day where Mom needs to get going to start dinner & feed Princess & Ozzy. Mom studied all day long. I read 2 chapters & took 2 exams. I got a 100% on the 1st exam & a 95% on the 2nd one. Mom will be doing exam 3 & 4 tomorrow & my Final will be Friday. This was a very fast course. Just 17 more classes to go...lol! I know you are with Mom every step of the way! Thank you. Mom hopes tonight will be everything you need & want it to be. Come visit me in my dreams tonight. Have fun while I sleep. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. Let's smile together. Remember you live in my heart, mind, body & soul. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. Until tomorrow night....Good night & sweet dreams. The candle will be burning tonight.... it's for you! I love you.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!