Dear Tyler,

Hi sweetheart. How are you doing tonight in the Heaven above? I hope you are doing so well and you are so happy! That is all I want for you. To do all that you can and want and to be all that you can be. To grow and gain knowledge up in Heaven. I want you to be flying high and flying free with a huge Cheshire's cat grin on your face at all times! Mom is doing ok today. I am so sorry that I have not written to you in the last 2 days but nothing major has gone on. Yesterday we had the chance of going out for a bit. Mark & I got home around 7 pm and then put groceries away and didn't even eat dinner until 8 pm. Dishes were done and I was sitting down relaxing around 9:30 pm. That was late for me and I was really tired. Didn't really sleep all that much either. Snickers was snoring so loud last night and Mark wasn't feeling good. I was up at 3 am with the dogs and then up again around 5 am with Mark. Fell back to sleep around 6 am until 9:30 am and then decided to get up. Good news is that Snicks is feeling better and he is not licking at his little arm or paw anymore. He is playing, eating, and drinking again like he should be. I am so happy about that. Max is doing better for the moment as well. He is not bleeding when he is urinating so the apple cider vinegar seems to be working! This makes me happy too :) 
 Mark is doing well. He is always working hard to provide for him and I. He is taking really good care of me and I know that is important to you and what one of your wishes were. I know he is making you very proud! I know you are smiling down on us and smiling. We are getting ready to make a trip back to NH for Marion & Charlie's wedding. We are also coming along with plans for our own wedding in December. I am enjoying all this planning and it keeps me busy. I like doing things like this but it makes me so sad because when I think about it and when that special day comes you will not be with me here in the physical world to enjoy it with us. I want that so bad. I want you to be right by my side so I can see you,talk to you, and laugh with you. I know you will be there in spirit along with Amy, Ron & Wendy all smiling down on Mark & Mom. It will make me smile but it just won't be the same. I hope that you can understand that.
 Thank you so much for the nice surprises at night! Going outside and seeing all the beautiful stars are so pretty and soothing for Mom. I know and can see that you are up in the Heaven's shining brightly for me to see. When I see the stars I just get this huge smile on my face and I just start chatting away to you. It makes me happy. I hope that you can hear me talking to you. Today was another warm and beautiful day. In the 80's and sunny. I am hoping that the night sky will show the stars once again for me. Be listening for Mom... I will chatting and whispering to you again as I always do nightly! 
 I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you more than life itself. I just want and need you to know this daily. You will always remain my world. No one will ever or could ever change this! Please continue to watch over us, our family & friends like you always do. Thank you for everything. Watch over Aunt Becky & John again as they set out to travel back to Ecuador early Wednesday morning. They will be gone for another 5 weeks. Make sure to stop on by and see them this time. I know Aunt Becky will be happy to see you and hear from you. She misses you too just like so many other family and friends.
 I hope you have a peaceful night Tyler. Sweet dreams. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world..... Forever!
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi sweetheart! How are you doing today? I hope you are doing well in Heaven. Mom is doing well as can be today. The weather is so warm.. 80 degrees and sunny! The day started out overcast and cloudy but the sun has finally broke through and it is nice! Guess we are suppose to have a pretty nice weekend. Sun and warm with no rain in the forecast. This will be a big change as it has rained every weekend for the last 3 or 4 now! I hope that the sky will be clear tonight so that I can see the stars shining brightly. I looked last night but no such luck. I whispered to you so I hope that you heard me. 
 I am finding that writing to you every other day is better for me. Not that I don't want to write to you because I do but because there are just some days that nothing goes on and it is boring. I don't want to write a letter to you with really nothing to say or write about. Sometimes I feel so guilty if I don't write and I know I need to stop that. I know you would never be mad at me and I know you do not live in the electronic world either. I know that I don't have to be anywhere special to talk to you. I know that you are always here with me and that you hear me talking to you. I guess I just felt the need to tell you how I was feeling and explain myself. I still have a large number of people that follow me on this blog. They are faithful by reading my letters to you as I am writing them. Guess I wanted them to know as well. I can only hope that the folks that follow me are still getting all that they need from my letters to you. I don't write them for anyone other than myself and of course for you Ty! If I can help others heal as well or give them ideas or have them start their own blog then at the end of the day I am doing what I am suppose to be. Funny how things work. When you were here with me I learned so many things. I took and still don't take anything for granted. It is reality that as we take our first breath of the day or the many ones in between that someone out there is breathing their last. Now that you are gone I am still learning from you. What is really important in my life and what is not. Who my true friends are and who never really were. It is much nicer living the simpler life style that I do with Mark.. what I mean by that is I don't need to have so many material things to make me happy like I thought I did before. I have got rid of so much " stuff " and it feels great! I don't need 70 purses or 250 pairs of shoes anymore like I thought I did! I will have you know I have 2 purses and 35 pairs of shoes..pretty good huh? :) Yup.. I know you are proud of me! I can hear you say " my little mom is growing up. " Anyways.. you are showing me things that I need to do. What feels right and what doesn't. I am now trying to make peace with some people that I have needed to for a couple years now. I don't know if we will ever be friends again but at least I know I did my part and said what I needed to say. I feel really good about it all.  Thank you for all this. Thank you for guiding me to do the right things. It means so much to me. 
 I miss you so much and I love you beyond any words can ever say! You are my world and always will be. Just please always know this. I wish you the most wonderful evening tonight. I hope it is all that you want it to be and so much more. Please continue to watch over us all like you always do. Give all our loved ones and friends hugs from me and tell them I miss them all too. Sweet dreams Tyler.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi buddy! How are you doing today? Today has been a rough day for me. No sure why. I was sitting on the couch and a song came on and I started to sing it and thought of you. I started to cry. I was looking at your pictures and that did it for me. I miss you so much. I love you beyond words. To hear your voice again would be so nice, to see your face again would be incredible for Mom. I don't know what else to say except this sucks without you here with me. I hate it so much. I wish I could feel differently but I can't. Time goes on and goes by but it is so painful for me. I am lost most of the time. Most days I just go with the flow because it is all I can do and all I know how to do. 
 Last night was such a nice surprise. I looked at the sky and saw clouds and started to whisper to you and then looked in another direction and a smile spread across my face. I saw so many stars up in the sky shining brightly. I couldn't stop whispering to you. Hope you heard me. The weather again today is cloudy and it has rained heavy for the last several hours now. Imagine that.... I hope the sky clears so I can get another surprise tonight but if not I will whisper to you again. 
 Everything else is the same. The dogs are doing better so that is good. Both Mark and I really need to get more sleep though. The nights have been tough on the both of us. I stay awake and keep him up. It sucks. I am hoping to go to bed early so that we can get some solid sleep. I started working out again after 3 months. I figured that was long enough for my leg to heal. Feels good to get back into it but by am I sore...lol. Getting old sucks..hahaha! 
 Tomorrow I will write the song down for you that made me cry today. Just don't have it in me right now. I hope that you have a wonderful peaceful night in Heaven. May it be all that you want it to be. Tell everyone I love and miss them. Give hugs to them for me too. I miss you and love you my sweet precious son. My perfect Angel. Watch over Mom and all our family & friends. Thank you for everything. Sweet dreams.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi sweetheart! How are you doing today in the Heaven's above? I know you are doing awesome.. no doubt about it. Mom is doing ok today. The weather was crappy again today with overcast skies and rain again. The temp was in the 60's though so that was kinda nice. 
 Mom was doing some cleaning today and found the book that I had wrote notes down from my reading with Forrest. It was so nice to reread again. I remembered quite a bit but did however forget some things that you told me. The notes made me laugh and some made me tear up. At the time of the reading it was just a little over a month after you passed. My feelings were so raw. My heart hurt so bad. One thing that was so special to me is when I told you that you were my Hero and in return you bowed and said as you are mine! Still makes me tear up to hear that. Such unconditional love that we had for one another. A true Mother and Son team :)
 I was and still am so honored to be your Mom. That you chose me so many years ago to walk this Earth with you and experience all that we did together. All the hard times, the ups and the downs. I wouldn't trade it for the world and I would do it all again in a heart beat! I love you so much and I miss you terribly. 
 I won't be able to see the stars tonight again as it is cloudy and overcast. I know you are shining brightly in the sky above. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for Mom. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Watch over us as you always do...Thank you!
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi buddy! It is a little late for me right now but I wanted to take the time and tell you that everything was ok today. Things were fine for a Sunday. Not much went on today. We had the chance to go out and do some shopping while we had our dog sitter here. It was cool and rainy so not the best kind of weather to be out in. Mark is not feeling so hot right now so I want to give back and take care of him for all the times he has taken care of me. Need to get some meds into him and have him wrap up in a blanket and close his eyes. Seems like a cold or something is coming on. I hope he feels better in the morning. Mom is doing fine as can be. Max is not doing so hot. Things are getting worse and I guess it is not more stalling...time to take him to the vets to get a professional opinion on what is going on. I refuse to have him suffer. Just not right or fair. He is an old boy who has had a wonderful and spoiled life. I will miss him terribly but I can not let this go on. I know you wouldn't want it that way either..you would agree with Mom. I know when the time comes he will be with you and that makes me feel a little better. He will be running and playing with Daisy, Spencer, & Baxter too :) Snickers is doing just fine. We think he re hurt his foot that he fractured last May. Going to give it a day and see though. If he isn't any better he will be going to the vets as well. Guess it still is never a dull moment here..ugh!
 Everything else is fine. The weather is crappy. Rain, overcast and cloudy again. Suppose to be this way almost all week. Everyone up North is tired of the snow and we here are tired of all the dang rain. This winter here as been the worst folks have seen in a few years. Just our luck..lol The stars will not be showing and shining brightly for us to see but I know you are...every night! I will still whisper to you and I hope you will be able to hear me. 
 I will write to you more tomorrow. I want to get Mark settled for the night and the dogs as well. I hope you have a peaceful evening in Heaven. I miss you so much Tyler. I wish you were here. Today is no different... I really would love to hear your voice. Sweet dreams. I love you so much. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today in the Heavens above? I am pretty sure that you are doing wonderful and are just as happy as can be. I know you are doing good things up there... wouldn't think otherwise. Mom is doing better today. Yesterday I was not doing so well. I was extremely tired and every time I went to move I was dizzy. I basically just laid on the couch all day and did nothing because I just couldn't. I did however get some sleep last night and I am doing a lot better today. I am hydrated and I am making sure that I am eating. Mark is taking very good care of me so I know you are just beaming from the Heavens knowing that he is keeping his promise and you not having to worry about Mom. 
 Yesterday and today was a rough day for many of my friends. It was Wendy's wake and funeral. Many went to say their last goodbyes and to lay her to rest. She leaves behind her dad, her sister, her brother, several cousins, nieces and nephews not to mention her husband, and her 2 children. It really is sad for Mom. Wendy and I have been friends for 28 plus years. She was the sweetest friend and she was one hell of a fighter.. just like you! She battled cancer for 8 years. She was an inspiration to many including me. If you see her in the Heavens..tell her I miss her and that she is a Hero to me...again...just like you, Tyler! Give her a hug for me too... Thanks!
 Nothing else major is going on. Did a lot of house work and rearranging in the apartment. It felt good to get rid of some things that I didn't use any longer and give to folks in this community that needed them. It is just so nice to live a simple and less cluttered life style! While cleaning I came across some of your things. It made me smile and made me sad all at the same time. Mark asked if I was ok and I said yes. He told me I gave him " that " look... guess I have a special " look " when I talk about you. I try not to cry because I know that is not what you want to see me do. I am trying... some days are just easier than others. I find myself sad and crying but then remember something that made me smile or laugh.. a happier time and I feel better. That is how I get through these days without you. Bare with me because it is not at all easy!
 Today was a warm and humid day here in Texas. The sky is overcast and cloudy now. Guess what.. yup.. more rain for us in the next 5 days... surprise surprise.. NOT! Guess I will not be seeing the stars shining brightly but I know you are up there watching over us all. I know you are one of the brightest stars. As always... I will be whispering to you as I always do. Hope you will hear Mom and be listening out for me. I miss you so much Tyler. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. Thank you for showing me what unconditional love was among all the other things you taught me. I cherish them all and always. 
 Have a wonderful night and may it be all that you want it to be. May it be all that you ever need. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I love you, Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi sweetheart! How are you doing today in the Heavens above? I am doing just alright. Another tough night for our family. Late last night Meme called me to let me know that our cousin Deborah passed at 11:10 pm from her battle with lung & brain cancer. 2 deaths in one week is harsh. Not to mention both lost their battles to cancer. Makes me so sad. The other reason why today is hard is because of course it is 9 months since you left us from this world. I have just been so emotional this week. I am on an emotional overload. Too much for Mom.. just too much! I miss you so much. I love you beyond any words I can ever say. 
 Right now as I am typing you this letter, Mark is skyping with your bestie Jeremy. I spoke with him earlier today and I asked how he was doing. He said he was doing great because he knows you are with him. I believe him completely. I know you are. I know Ron is too. Jeremy mentioned the 3 Amiagos... made me smile and then had tears in my eyes. I miss visiting with Jeremy and seeing Ron but I know just like you that he is freed from the wheelchair and vent and he is free from all limitations. I know you both are so much happier. I guess I just wish I could see it with my own 2 eyes. I know I will someday :)
 Jeremy was saying that he is no longer at Crotched Mtn. He has moved and the folks treat him so much better. He looks great and has gained some weight. It was the place that you 2 spoke about going to. He said he knows you would have loved it there with him! Again.. I believe him completely!
 Not much else has gone on today. I have been on the phone and computer dealing with the Motor Vehicle and Social Security. I need to renew my license and I lost my social security card. What a mess. I have a bunch of paperwork to fill out and send to the agencies to get this all started. I also shopped for things for the wedding too today! That was fun. It is all coming together for us. 
 The weather today for the 1st day of Spring was beautiful. The sky was blue and so sunny with temps in the 70's. Just a nice Spring day. We were lucky. Back home they got more snow and ice. Another nasty storm. I am hoping that the sky is clear tonight so that I may get the chance to see the stars shining brightly. Either way I will still be whispering to you so please be listening for Mom. 
 I hope your evening is peaceful and all that you want it to be. Continue to watch over Mark, Mom and the rest of our family and friends. Thank you for all you do. I love you with all my heart and soul. To the moon and back. Sweet dreams my precious son! Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah! 

Dear Tyler,

Hi sweetheart! How are you doing this evening? Mom is doing better. I needed to have a couple days to just really do nothing and get my emotions together after so much sad and bad news. I am sorry that I didn't write to you but with the way I was feeling my emotions got the best of me and I was sick last night. I am feeling better today though. In fact I took a " me " day and went out on my own and enjoyed the nice sunny warm weather. I decided to go get my nails done and also get some color in my hair. I was gone for about 4 hours and it felt nice to not rush and have some time for me. I am really getting used to getting out and driving wherever I want to go. It is such a nice change for me. I am getting really comfortable here in Texas. I have to say that is such a relief and nice feeling to have again. Mark works from home so he can stay with the pups while I go out and do things. That is also a huge plus for me! 
 Not much else is going on. I speak to Meme and the family as often as I can and I talk to some friends too. I miss everyone but I am getting used to be so far away now. Mark and I are just waiting to see if we will be moving again soon or if we will be staying in Texas. I have mixed feelings about both... I want to be closer to family and friends but I don't want to be in the cold weather anymore. I think if we stayed in Texas I would like to be able to go somewhere with less traffic and things being less money. That would be 3 - 4 hours North of where we are right now. We should be finding out very soon on what will happen. Will be interesting when the decision is made. Mark and I are ready for whatever we get told. I am behind him 100 %. 
 I just realized the date today and realized that tomorrow will be 9 months since you left this world. I just can't believe that time has just flown by like it has. Every day, the 20th of every month plays back to the day we flew to see you in the hospital, the day that your heart stopped beating. It is such a horror story and nightmare for me every month. I miss you so much and I love you unconditionally still. I know that you are happy and your time on this Earth was fulfilled but it is still hard for me. I just miss everything about you... your face, your smile, your laugh, your voice... just everything!
 I hope that tonight's sky is clear and full of stars. I want to see you shining brightly up there with the rest of our family and friends. I will be whispering to you as I always do. I hope you will be waiting and hearing Mom. 
 I hope you have a wonderful evening where it is all that you need and want it to be. I hope it is peaceful for you too. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Watch over us as I know you always do and continue to watch over Meme, Bob, and our cousin Deborah a little more. They need it! Thanks pumpkin! 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Good afternoon my sweet son in Heaven. I hope today is a day that you are celebrating in the sky above because it is St. Patrick's Day and you are Irish! Mom is having a very rough day today. Lots of sadness fills the air for me. Today is a very warm and sunny day here in Texas but my heart is heavy. On this day 25 years ago Pepe passed away. I still remember the day like it was yesterday when Meme came into the school and told me. How my heart hurt that day and every day since. I miss him very much. He was a hard worker, a fun and joking kind of guy. Wise too! Please when you see him today in the Heaven above give him a hug for Mom and tell him that I love and miss him ( Nana too! ). Mom is also sad because last night when I came on the computer I was told that a sweet dear friend of mine for the last 28 years lost her battle to cancer. She was admitted in the hospital at DHMC last Wednesday, March 12th and those last 5 days were so hard on her. She passed around 7:00 ish ( pm ). My heart hurt again because her & I just spoke just a few days before she was admitted. Again life just shows me how precious it really is and to live your life to the fullest. She was a sweet friend and a loving wife and mother. I will never forget that weekly she would check in on me to see how I was doing. She always said she worried about me after you passed away. If you see Wendy up there in Heaven show here around and show her the ropes. Tell her that I love her and that she will always remain in my heart. She, like you Tyler was a true HERO to me and so many others in this world. Give her a big hug for Mom too. Thanks :)
 I really just don't know what to say today. I am just having a tough time dealing with all this sadness and loss that has happened in the last 9 months. First you passing and then so many others following you.... Larry, Ed, Rick, Ron, Amy, and now Wendy. My heart continues to hurt and not heal. I am at loss for words..something that never happens.. I know! My head hurts, my eyes hurt, my body hurts, and my heart hurts :(
 I know I promised you a longer letter today but due to all the things happening and the way that I feel. I think it is best that I stop now and try again tomorrow when I have got more sleep and my head is clearer. I know you understand fully.
 I hope you have a peaceful day & night. I will be looking to the sky tonight for the stars to be shining brightly. I hope they are out for me to see. I could really use it! Regardless I will be whispering to you, Pepe, & Wendy tonight so I hope everyone will be listening and hearing me. I miss you so much and I love you unconditionally Tyler. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. Fly high and fly free. Continue to watch over us all and continue to do all the wonderful things you are needing and wanting to do in Heaven. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi sweetheart! How are you doing today? I hope that you are doing wonderful up there in the Heavens above. Mark & Mom are doing just fine. We have had a wonderful day actually. Up bright and early and had some company come over. Friends from NH are vacationing here in Texas and they stopped by on there travels to say hello to us and spend a couple of hours visiting. It was sure nice to see them and some more familiar faces even if it was for just a short time. Makes Me miss our family & friends even more now though. Just a couple more months and we will be in NH for Marion & Charlie's Wedding and to see everyone. I promise to come visit you every day while I am there. I miss you so much. I love you Tyler.
 The rest of our day was spent out shopping and looking around for a Birthday gift and Wedding stuff for us! Didn't really find anything in the stores but we are having some really good luck on line so that is cool. Now we are winding down and relaxing for the night. The weather is really windy outside! It has been raining all day and it is on the chilly side. The clouds are thick so I know they will not clear tonight for me to see the stars shining brightly but as always..nevertheless I know you are shining so brightly up there and watching over us all. I will be whispering to you so I hope you will be listening and you are able to hear Mom. 
 I know this is a short letter but I will write to you more tomorrow. I didn't want to go another night without stopping in on this blog and writing to you. I know you realize everything and understand. I hope you have a peaceful evening up there in Heaven. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son. Sweet dreams.
 I love you to the moon & back. I miss you more than words can say. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi sweetheart! Ho are you doing today? I hope that you are happy as can be doing what you need to do and want to do up in the Heavens above. Mom is doing ok today. I am sorry that I did not get a chance to write to you yesterday but Wednesday night while we were walking the pups ( around 11 pm ) I had a hold of Max and he decided to go 1 way as I  was going the other and I didn't think anything of it. He tugged as he usually does but my arm was hurting after. Went to be and woke up early Thursday morning and I could not move my arm and the pain was so intense. I took some medicine but it really didn't do any good. All day yesterday I could not do anything. Couldn't even lift my right arm. Max pulled the muscles in my arm and shoulder. The pain was so awful. I iced it several times during the evening for about 5 hours. (The medicine didn't touch it yesterday at all.I was in tear all day. ) Today.. my arm and shoulder is still in pain but getting better. I still can't do  whole lot with my right arm but I can do some things What a mess. Leave it to the dogs to hurt me again. Anyways.... enough of that. 
 The last 3 nights I have been able to see the stars shining brightly in the sky. It has made me so happy. It has been a series of warm evenings and a nice breeze. That is Mom's perfect kind of weather. I have been whispering to you so I hope you have been hearing me. 
 Mom found another song I wanted to share with you. It is by Christina Perri and the song is called " Human ". Hope you like it and understand why... it is how I feel many of days.

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay
Awake for days
If that's what
You want
Be your
Number one
I can fake a 
Smile
I can force a 
Laugh
I can dance and
play the part
If that's what
You ask
Give you all I am
I can do it
I can do it
I can do it
But I'm only Human
I bleed when I fall down
I'm only Human
And I crash and
I break down
Your words in my head
Knives in my heart
You build me up
And then I fall apart
I'm only Human, yeah
I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what 
You need
Be your everything
I can do it
I can do it
I'l get through it
But I'm only Human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only Human
And I crash and
I break down
Your words in my head
Knives in my heart
You build me up
And then I fall apart
I'm only Human, yeah
I'm only Human
I'm only Human
Just  little
Human
I can take so much
Until I've had enough
'Cause I'm only Human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only Human
And I crash and
I break down
Your words in your head
Knives in my heart
You build me up
And then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only Human, yeah

Tyler, I would like to believe that you completely understand the lyrics of this song an you can relate to them just as much as I can. I miss you so much and I love you with all my heart and soul. I hope you have a peaceful night. Sweet dreams my precious son. Fly high and fly free. I will be whispering to you tonight when I go outside.. be listening for me.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi sweetheart. How are you doing today? Mom is doing fine. It is a beautiful day today. Sunny and blue skies not to mention it is 72 degrees... the kind of weather that your Momma likes :)
 I got the best surprise last night when I took the pups for a late night stroll around our little community. The sky was clear and the stars were out. So many of them shining brightly in the sky. The color of the sky was like a black/purplish color..really pretty. I just remember that when I looked up to the sky I had such a big grin on my face and I was just chatting away to you. My smile was just so big..like a Cheshire grin :) 
 I hope that I get to have that nice surprise again this evening when it gets dark out. I will be one happy girl. See Tyler, the little things are what matters to Mom. I don't need anything big or expensive to make me happy. I just remember you saying you didn't want a girlfriend because girls were expensive and you boys always had to buy flowers, candy, and all kinds of gifts, etc for us. You used to crack me up with that. You used to make me laugh and smile. I just loved you to pieces and still do. 
 I want you to know that I am so honored to have had all the years that I did with you. I am honored to have called you my son. I am blessed to have had all the memories that we had to share with each other. I was and still am one lucky Mom. You taught me so many things about life. What was important and what was not. I got to experience the world through your eyes and how you lived your life. No matter what you showed me the best was knowing what unconditional love was. I often wonder what I showed you, what you learned from me. If anything at all...
 I miss you so much. I find myself every day looking to the sky and just gazing at it..wondering where you are and what you may be doing. I know you are happy and are well. I believe that you are doing so many things up there for God. I believe you have many many jobs.. I just wonder what they are??? 
 Please continue to watch over us. All our family & friends. Thank you my sweet precious son. My sweet Angel in Heaven. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. I will whisper to you tonight so be listening for Mom. Sweet dreams and may your evening be peaceful for you.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

PS. Make sure you go visit your Aunt Becky.. it is her Birthday today! I am sure she would love to see you :)

Dear Tyler,

Hi Buddy! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? I hope you are well and so happy!!! Mom is doing good as can be. I was up early this morning because Mark went into the office and I couldn't sleep, but I actually got a lot done! The weather is humid, and sunny!!! 75 degrees today but will be getting back down into the 50's tomorrow but no rain so I will take it! I was so surprised to see that there were a few stars that were visible last night around 11 pm. I had a grin on my face from ear to ear. I whispered to you so I hope that you heard Mom. I miss you so much. I love you to the moon & back.
 I had quite a few conversations today with Aunt Shirley, Auntie Kristina, & Bonnie. Took up my morning and afternoon..lol! Everyone is doing well so that was nice to hear. Took the pups for a couple small walks to get them out in the fresh air and had some nice conversations with the neighbors. I learned the history behind the community that we live in and I also learned that one of our neighbors lost a child too. We chatted about that for awhile. She agreed with me saying that time does not get any easier it gets harder. She said the same thing I did... we just think that you are on an extended vacation and can't talk right now or visit... we know the truth but it helps us on a day to day basis. It is sad to know that many deal with what I do on a regular basis but it is nice to know I am not alone. Always interested in what others do to cope. 
 I can't believe I have been writing this blog now for almost 9 months. I have 12,200 hits on here and several followers through these 9 months. Although I do not do it for anyone else but my own...it is nice to know that many people still read my letters to you daily. I would like to hope that if someone is reading them and needing comfort for the same reasons that I am helping out.( I would like to say thank you to all that continue to read these and support me. )
 I really need a huge favor from you and other Angels... Meme is in need of help along with Bob. I know you know the situation so no need of me leaving details here. It is so hard for me to help out because I am so far away but I am so scared for them both. Please do all that you can do to make them both safe. Thank you so much! You know how much it means to me.
 I will be walking later this evening with the pups. I will be hoping to see the stars shining in the sky. I will be whispering to you as I always do. Be listening my sweet precious son. Have a wonderful evening tonight. May it be peaceful and all that you want it to be. Fly high and fly free. I miss and love you beyond words can ever express. Always know and remember this. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi sweetheart! How are you doing today in the Heavens above? I hope that you are well and are doing all that you want to do! Today has been a pretty busy day for Mom. Despite my best efforts the weather here was 70 degrees and overcast and cloudy. Looks like most of this week will be rain again. Oh how I am sick of this weather and want sunny days again. Guess there is a lot of negative things here in Texas that needs washing away! 
 Aunt Becky called me yesterday and we had a great conversation. She spoke to Forest about you and what you have been doing. It was so nice to hear that you are well and are doing the jobs that are assigned to you in the Spiritual Realm. I hear you have several " jobs " and are constantly learning new things. It made me smile and laugh because I know just how much you despised school, but I am sure that it is completely different for you now. I am sure you are thriving at all the knowledge that you are getting! It make me so proud to hear all this. Just remember to come visit from time to time even though you are really busy! I miss you and I miss the closeness that I usually feel when I know you are around me.
 I read this article today on 10 ways of knowing that your loved ones are around you. I found it so neat to read. I want you to know that I have been seeing the Blue Jays & the 2 Cardinals around the apartment. I now know different signs to be looking out for that I just never knew. You can betcha that I will be on my toes from now on. I am sorry if you have sent me signs that I was not fully aware of. Won't happen again that's for sure!
The sun is setting (actually what little there was today) and I can see that the sky is still overcast and cloudy..ugh! No stars will be visible to see but I know that you are up there shining brightly. Daylight Savings Time was on Sunday and it stays light out now until 7:30 pm or later.. I like that! Be listening for Mom to whisper to you as I always do! 
 Take care my sweet precious son. I love you beyond any words could say and I miss you every day. Please continue to watch over us all...especially Meme. Thank you. Have a peaceful night and sweet dreams Tyler. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Good evening sweetheart! I hope that you are doing amazing tonight! Mark & I are doing fine. It is a nice Saturday night and we are settling in to relax for the night. We did a lot today around the apartment. Mark changed the shower head in the master bathroom, put a corner shelf in the shower for me, put a shower caddy in the guest bathroom, and put my beautiful mirror up that he bought me a couple months ago. I vacuumed and shampooed the rugs today. What a freaking chore that was. It was not easy at all. The shampooer kept getting clogged with Max's dog hair and I had to clean it out like 3 times... I have to do it all again tomorrow to get the dirty water off the rug. Just a complete mess. Should of had a professional cleaner come in.. would have been more expensive but worth every penny..lol!
 The weather here was 60 degrees and nice. Not cold and we had a nice breeze. Overcast skies again. Looks like rain for the next 4 days again... so sick of the rain..ugh! Definitely won't be seeing the stars in the sky for awhile again. I am really bummed about that :( 
Oh yeah... I was so surprised because the other night I went for a walk with the pups and it was so beautiful weather wise and when I looked up it was finally clear skies and so many stars were up in the sky and shining bright. It made me so happy! I had a huge smile on my face. It was amazing. I whispered to you so I hope that you heard Mom. I do it every night regardless if I see the stars or not. I wonder if you ever go to your star that is in your name that I gave you last Christmas. I wonder if you like it and if it is beautiful. If and when you go there.. I hope it reminds you of Mom. I hope it makes you smile and know just how much I love you and miss you.
 I never thought I could ever miss a person as much as I miss you. I never ever expected to be in pain and hurt on a daily basis as I do. This totally sucks and it is so hard. I despise this all the time. I won't say " hate " because that is such a strong word. I learned so much with you and while I took care of you all those years. I still learn so much from you even though you are not with me in the physical world. You amaze me every day. I believe you always will :)
 Please continue to watch over our family & friends as I know you always do. I hope you have a peaceful night in Heaven. I hope you fly high and fly free my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. I miss you so much. Forever and Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

PS. Great news.. Nancy's tests results came in and she doesn't have to go through another surgery and NO signs of CANCER!!!! Thanks Tyler and all the other Angels that helped her out!