Friday, October 31, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! Happy Halloween to you in Heaven! Today is your favorite holiday so I hope you are enjoying seeing all the kids dressed up in their costumes. Oh how I miss you & miss taking you out trick or treating when you were younger. You had so much fun! Remember the time you laughed because I dressed up as Mrs. Potts? That was so much fun...lol! The costume was so dang big that I couldn't even get out of the door! The memories are what keeps me going since you passed. Every day is tough but the holidays are the worst. Aunt Shirley sent me a message telling me that she went to visit you today. She placed a light & a goodie bag at your resting place. Hope you enjoy the treats. I would do the same if I was there. I will post some pictures on my blog for you to check out. I think you will get a kick out of them. Some will be of Jack, puppies in costumes, & I even found one of a seal near some pumpkins. I hope you like them! I miss you so much, Tyler. I love you unconditionally still. I always will. I used to say that I missed being a Mom, but now I know that I will always be a Mom & it is just in a different way. I am a Mom to my Angel in Heaven. I hope that you have the chance to hang out with Ron, Ricky, Lucas, Amy, Wendy & so many others. If I know you... y'all will get into some mischief tonight! Have fun.. wish I could see you though. I know I will in my dreams!
This will be just a quick little note because I have so many pictures to post on here for you.. maybe 7 or 8!!! I will write to you tomorrow night with the daily prayers. I hope that your evening is restful & peaceful. May it be all that you & need it to be. I will look to the sky tonight to see the moon & the stars. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will hear me.
Sweet dreams my precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! Happy Halloween to you in Heaven! Today is your favorite holiday so I hope you are enjoying seeing all the kids dressed up in their costumes. Oh how I miss you & miss taking you out trick or treating when you were younger. You had so much fun! Remember the time you laughed because I dressed up as Mrs. Potts? That was so much fun...lol! The costume was so dang big that I couldn't even get out of the door! The memories are what keeps me going since you passed. Every day is tough but the holidays are the worst. Aunt Shirley sent me a message telling me that she went to visit you today. She placed a light & a goodie bag at your resting place. Hope you enjoy the treats. I would do the same if I was there. I will post some pictures on my blog for you to check out. I think you will get a kick out of them. Some will be of Jack, puppies in costumes, & I even found one of a seal near some pumpkins. I hope you like them! I miss you so much, Tyler. I love you unconditionally still. I always will. I used to say that I missed being a Mom, but now I know that I will always be a Mom & it is just in a different way. I am a Mom to my Angel in Heaven. I hope that you have the chance to hang out with Ron, Ricky, Lucas, Amy, Wendy & so many others. If I know you... y'all will get into some mischief tonight! Have fun.. wish I could see you though. I know I will in my dreams!
This will be just a quick little note because I have so many pictures to post on here for you.. maybe 7 or 8!!! I will write to you tomorrow night with the daily prayers. I hope that your evening is restful & peaceful. May it be all that you & need it to be. I will look to the sky tonight to see the moon & the stars. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will hear me.
Sweet dreams my precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? It is All Hallows Eve... the night of tricking for most young folks. I can't believe that this will be the 2nd Halloween without you. Makes me so sad. It is just not the same without you. Nothing is anymore. My whole like changed when you left. Sure I have things to be grateful for & to be blessed with still, but everything is just so different. Days are longer because I can keep busy, & most nights go by fast whether I can sleep or not. I am not the same person as I once was. I never will be again either. People change when they lose loved ones..especially Mommies. I do my best but sometimes my best doesn't feel good enough. I try like hell but sometimes nothing feels right. I will continue to get through it all. You are always on my mind...every second of every minute of every day. Just want you to know this.
I am doing better today than I was doing the last couple days. October has been a rough month for Mark & Mom. We both have been quite sick & hopefully it will all be out of our systems so that we can look forward to November & December. I have asked for you to take care of us & to watch over us. Thank you for all that you have done. I need you still. I will always need you, Ty!
The weather here is still very warm. It has been around 86 degrees & in the 60's at night. Not complaining as the North East could be looking at snow in the next couple days. Not sure they are ready for that but they better be. The Farmer's Almanic states they are in for another rough winter...just like last year! Better them then me. I miss having the 4 seasons but I don't miss the snow. So many years being in it was enough for me! I just worry about our family & friends. The weather should be cooling off in the next couple weeks. It will be a nice change. We have a very hot summer.
Not much else is really new for me. Mark is working a lot & looking into some possible other jobs. One will keep us here in Texas & one may bring us closer to NH. I am hoping that something good can come out of it. It would be nice to get closer to family & friends again even if that does mean the winter & snow. It would be worth it in the long run! If there is anything that you can do on your side to help us that would be super! Thanks Tyler!
Haven't heard from Meme or Grandpa lately or Aunt Becky either. I guess no news is good news though! I know you are watching over them as well so I am not worried = ] I know I have a couple of daily prayers for you so I want to start them now.
October 28~ To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life & peace. O Lord, you are so good to me. What a gift it is that when I first bow my head to ask you to quiet my spirit & give me peace, you are already at work doing just that! Somehow, knowing I am in your presence, the issues & situations that seemed particularly difficult just a short time ago lose importance----especially when seen in the light of the peace you always have to offer. Thank you, Lord, that I can come to you in such a frazzled state & lift my head after praying, restored by your peace. You are so good. Yes, thank you, Lord for all that you do for me, my family, my friends, & my pets. I need you in my life to make things well. I ask you daily to be in my life. Thank you for all the help, guidance, & blessings that you give me each & every day!
October 29~Humble yourselves before the Lord, & he will exalt you. God in heaven, you are my hope from above, and you alone can lift my spirits & make me see that behind the clouds there is still a sun shining strong & bright. I am having a tough time believing in myself right now, & I ask that you bear me up on the wings of eagles & carry me away from the heaviness of my burdens for just a little while. In prayer, I feel the promise of your peace, & I know that hope is still there waiting to break through the clouds & shine into my life again. God & God alone gives us hope when there seems no end to our suffering. I need your help daily. I ask for your help daily. I am thankful for all that you do for me daily.
October 30~ Come to me, all you that are weary & are carrying heavy burdens, & I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, & learn from me; for I am gentle & humble in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. Dear God, I pray today that you will always be by my side like a best friend or constant companion., walking with me throughout my life. I pray that I can always turn to you with my troubles & talk to you about my concerns, for I know that you will never turn away from me. I pray that I can always count on your love to lift me up when the weight of the world drags me down. I pray with a humble heart & in the name of Jesus. Amen. Life becomes much easier when we know we are never alone. Yes again, thank you for being with me in the darkest times of my life. I know it is because of you that I can make it through.
It is that time of the evening when I need to get dinner going & then do dishes & later walk Snickers. I have already seen the moon in the sky so I know it will be shining brightly this evening when the sun sets. I will look for the stars too. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for Mom. I hope that your evening is all that you need it to be. I hope that you are happy, & peaceful & smiling that smile that I loved & miss so much now. Sweet dreams my precious son. Forever you will be in my heart, mind, & soul. I miss you & love you so much!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? It is All Hallows Eve... the night of tricking for most young folks. I can't believe that this will be the 2nd Halloween without you. Makes me so sad. It is just not the same without you. Nothing is anymore. My whole like changed when you left. Sure I have things to be grateful for & to be blessed with still, but everything is just so different. Days are longer because I can keep busy, & most nights go by fast whether I can sleep or not. I am not the same person as I once was. I never will be again either. People change when they lose loved ones..especially Mommies. I do my best but sometimes my best doesn't feel good enough. I try like hell but sometimes nothing feels right. I will continue to get through it all. You are always on my mind...every second of every minute of every day. Just want you to know this.
I am doing better today than I was doing the last couple days. October has been a rough month for Mark & Mom. We both have been quite sick & hopefully it will all be out of our systems so that we can look forward to November & December. I have asked for you to take care of us & to watch over us. Thank you for all that you have done. I need you still. I will always need you, Ty!
The weather here is still very warm. It has been around 86 degrees & in the 60's at night. Not complaining as the North East could be looking at snow in the next couple days. Not sure they are ready for that but they better be. The Farmer's Almanic states they are in for another rough winter...just like last year! Better them then me. I miss having the 4 seasons but I don't miss the snow. So many years being in it was enough for me! I just worry about our family & friends. The weather should be cooling off in the next couple weeks. It will be a nice change. We have a very hot summer.
Not much else is really new for me. Mark is working a lot & looking into some possible other jobs. One will keep us here in Texas & one may bring us closer to NH. I am hoping that something good can come out of it. It would be nice to get closer to family & friends again even if that does mean the winter & snow. It would be worth it in the long run! If there is anything that you can do on your side to help us that would be super! Thanks Tyler!
Haven't heard from Meme or Grandpa lately or Aunt Becky either. I guess no news is good news though! I know you are watching over them as well so I am not worried = ] I know I have a couple of daily prayers for you so I want to start them now.
October 28~ To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life & peace. O Lord, you are so good to me. What a gift it is that when I first bow my head to ask you to quiet my spirit & give me peace, you are already at work doing just that! Somehow, knowing I am in your presence, the issues & situations that seemed particularly difficult just a short time ago lose importance----especially when seen in the light of the peace you always have to offer. Thank you, Lord, that I can come to you in such a frazzled state & lift my head after praying, restored by your peace. You are so good. Yes, thank you, Lord for all that you do for me, my family, my friends, & my pets. I need you in my life to make things well. I ask you daily to be in my life. Thank you for all the help, guidance, & blessings that you give me each & every day!
October 29~Humble yourselves before the Lord, & he will exalt you. God in heaven, you are my hope from above, and you alone can lift my spirits & make me see that behind the clouds there is still a sun shining strong & bright. I am having a tough time believing in myself right now, & I ask that you bear me up on the wings of eagles & carry me away from the heaviness of my burdens for just a little while. In prayer, I feel the promise of your peace, & I know that hope is still there waiting to break through the clouds & shine into my life again. God & God alone gives us hope when there seems no end to our suffering. I need your help daily. I ask for your help daily. I am thankful for all that you do for me daily.
October 30~ Come to me, all you that are weary & are carrying heavy burdens, & I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, & learn from me; for I am gentle & humble in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. Dear God, I pray today that you will always be by my side like a best friend or constant companion., walking with me throughout my life. I pray that I can always turn to you with my troubles & talk to you about my concerns, for I know that you will never turn away from me. I pray that I can always count on your love to lift me up when the weight of the world drags me down. I pray with a humble heart & in the name of Jesus. Amen. Life becomes much easier when we know we are never alone. Yes again, thank you for being with me in the darkest times of my life. I know it is because of you that I can make it through.
It is that time of the evening when I need to get dinner going & then do dishes & later walk Snickers. I have already seen the moon in the sky so I know it will be shining brightly this evening when the sun sets. I will look for the stars too. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for Mom. I hope that your evening is all that you need it to be. I hope that you are happy, & peaceful & smiling that smile that I loved & miss so much now. Sweet dreams my precious son. Forever you will be in my heart, mind, & soul. I miss you & love you so much!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, October 27, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi Pumpkin! How are you doing on this Monday evening? Mom is doing fair. Not the greatest but not the worst so I won't complain! I guess I am still having a rough time. I am not really sure of what exactly is going on. I don't know if there is a shift going on & I am feeling it or if I am just getting overwhelmed with all the wedding planning seeing we are 60 days out from the event & I am getting nervous finally! Maybe it is a combo of it all but I am pretty stressed out. Mom & Mark have to save a lot of money to make this all happen & it is really difficult that we don't go over budget on anything from now until the wedding. We haven't been doing anything so that we can make sure that we have what we need. The traveling will be rough but I am hoping that we will have fun this time. I know we will be safe because you will be with us throughout it all. I am very calm when it comes to this part! I wish you were with us physically. I really am missing you so much. I miss you every day but lately it is so much more. I have dreams of you, nightmares of you... I just don't know what is going on anymore. I try to be strong but it is just too hard sometimes. Halloween is this Friday ( 4 days away ) & I think I am feeling that heartache too. I know this was your favorite time of the year. The decorating, the scaring, etc.. everything about it you loved! I do none of this now. I just can't seem to. It hurts me too much. Your favorite movie was on last week... Nightmare Before Christmas. I did DVR it so I could watch it some time this week. I don't have it any other way anymore. I gave your copy to Jeremy because he asked for it. I hope that when I watch it you will be right with me singing the songs in my ear! I love you & miss you sooo much!
Aunt Becky has been calling me a lot lately. John is having such a tough time recovering from his knee surgery. She calls to ask for advice. Feels good that she can call on me & I can help her out. Guess all those years of taking care of you worked out with all the knowledge that I have on the medical field. Please continue to watch over them both as they need it. Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie too. Of course I always need you to be with me & watch over me along with Mark ( Snickers too! ). Thank you for everything that you do for us all. It means so much to Mom.
The weather today was just beautiful here in Texas. It is was sunny, blue skies with a nice breeze. Walked Snickers for a bit this afternoon. He loved it! I am hoping that when we go for our walk later this evening the stars are shining brightly along with the moon. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for Mom. I always wonder if you hear me. Well I have a couple prayers to write to you so I will get started on them now....
October 24~ Now the word of the Lord came to me saying " Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, & before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations." Lord, you knew me in my mother's womb. You set my path before me, & you watch me every moment from sunup to sundown. I need not fear any trial that written all the days of my life. All I need to do is place my trust in you & walk obediently in faith. As long as I have you to guide me, I will prevail because your holy mercy has already saved & delivered me. No matter the worries I have, you, O God, are there ahead of me. I believe this completely. I believe that everyone's destiny in their life is made up even before we are born. I believe that we are on this Earth to live our lives to the fullest & to learn all that we need to do. Once we have accomplished this we are released to live eternally with the Lord. I believe this more than anything!
October 25~When we cry, " Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God. Heavenly Father, when I was baptized, I immediately became your child, dedicated to your purpose. But you remind me again & again that we all must continue to renew ourselves & grow in relationship to you. Each day, the, be with me as I struggle to become more & more Christlike, letting go of past habits & becoming a living testament to you & your transformative powers. Amen. Only in God do we find the blessing of renewal. Thank you Lord for all you do for me, my family, & friends.
October 26~ I will not leaved you orphaned; I am coming to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. I don't need anything, dear Lord, but your love. For your love is the greatest of blessings, & from it flows all the other wonderful things. The love that knows no limitations is all I desire, for peace, prosperity, & joy are found in that love. Your love, Lord, is a cup of the sweetest wine, which quenches my thirst. Your love, Lord, is manna from heaven, which fills & satisfies my hunger. I am loved & blessed, & that is all I need, dear Lord. Love is the best of all reasons for living. This prayer is so true! I have nothing else to say. I have all that I need & want in my life ( other than you, Tyler! )
October 27~ There is no Holy God like the Lord, no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. Heavenly Father, I put my faith in you, for you are my rock & my foundation. I know that upon you I can always stand firm, even as the ground surrounding me shakes & trembles. I will not fall, for your arms embrace me faithfully, & I will not have to deal with my challenges alone. It is good to know I am always cared for & that even when things look as though they are falling apart, with my faith in you, I will soon see that my life is really coming together. My faith in you makes me strong, God. Thank you. With you in my life, dear God I know I will have nothing to worry about. Thank you. I love you!
Tyler, I have to close for the evening. It is getting dark & I have to make dinner, & walk Snicks! I hope you have a peaceful night. May it be all that you need & want. Sweet dreams my precious son. I miss you so much & I love you beyond anything in this world. You will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi Pumpkin! How are you doing on this Monday evening? Mom is doing fair. Not the greatest but not the worst so I won't complain! I guess I am still having a rough time. I am not really sure of what exactly is going on. I don't know if there is a shift going on & I am feeling it or if I am just getting overwhelmed with all the wedding planning seeing we are 60 days out from the event & I am getting nervous finally! Maybe it is a combo of it all but I am pretty stressed out. Mom & Mark have to save a lot of money to make this all happen & it is really difficult that we don't go over budget on anything from now until the wedding. We haven't been doing anything so that we can make sure that we have what we need. The traveling will be rough but I am hoping that we will have fun this time. I know we will be safe because you will be with us throughout it all. I am very calm when it comes to this part! I wish you were with us physically. I really am missing you so much. I miss you every day but lately it is so much more. I have dreams of you, nightmares of you... I just don't know what is going on anymore. I try to be strong but it is just too hard sometimes. Halloween is this Friday ( 4 days away ) & I think I am feeling that heartache too. I know this was your favorite time of the year. The decorating, the scaring, etc.. everything about it you loved! I do none of this now. I just can't seem to. It hurts me too much. Your favorite movie was on last week... Nightmare Before Christmas. I did DVR it so I could watch it some time this week. I don't have it any other way anymore. I gave your copy to Jeremy because he asked for it. I hope that when I watch it you will be right with me singing the songs in my ear! I love you & miss you sooo much!
Aunt Becky has been calling me a lot lately. John is having such a tough time recovering from his knee surgery. She calls to ask for advice. Feels good that she can call on me & I can help her out. Guess all those years of taking care of you worked out with all the knowledge that I have on the medical field. Please continue to watch over them both as they need it. Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie too. Of course I always need you to be with me & watch over me along with Mark ( Snickers too! ). Thank you for everything that you do for us all. It means so much to Mom.
The weather today was just beautiful here in Texas. It is was sunny, blue skies with a nice breeze. Walked Snickers for a bit this afternoon. He loved it! I am hoping that when we go for our walk later this evening the stars are shining brightly along with the moon. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for Mom. I always wonder if you hear me. Well I have a couple prayers to write to you so I will get started on them now....
October 24~ Now the word of the Lord came to me saying " Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, & before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations." Lord, you knew me in my mother's womb. You set my path before me, & you watch me every moment from sunup to sundown. I need not fear any trial that written all the days of my life. All I need to do is place my trust in you & walk obediently in faith. As long as I have you to guide me, I will prevail because your holy mercy has already saved & delivered me. No matter the worries I have, you, O God, are there ahead of me. I believe this completely. I believe that everyone's destiny in their life is made up even before we are born. I believe that we are on this Earth to live our lives to the fullest & to learn all that we need to do. Once we have accomplished this we are released to live eternally with the Lord. I believe this more than anything!
October 25~When we cry, " Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God. Heavenly Father, when I was baptized, I immediately became your child, dedicated to your purpose. But you remind me again & again that we all must continue to renew ourselves & grow in relationship to you. Each day, the, be with me as I struggle to become more & more Christlike, letting go of past habits & becoming a living testament to you & your transformative powers. Amen. Only in God do we find the blessing of renewal. Thank you Lord for all you do for me, my family, & friends.
October 26~ I will not leaved you orphaned; I am coming to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. I don't need anything, dear Lord, but your love. For your love is the greatest of blessings, & from it flows all the other wonderful things. The love that knows no limitations is all I desire, for peace, prosperity, & joy are found in that love. Your love, Lord, is a cup of the sweetest wine, which quenches my thirst. Your love, Lord, is manna from heaven, which fills & satisfies my hunger. I am loved & blessed, & that is all I need, dear Lord. Love is the best of all reasons for living. This prayer is so true! I have nothing else to say. I have all that I need & want in my life ( other than you, Tyler! )
October 27~ There is no Holy God like the Lord, no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. Heavenly Father, I put my faith in you, for you are my rock & my foundation. I know that upon you I can always stand firm, even as the ground surrounding me shakes & trembles. I will not fall, for your arms embrace me faithfully, & I will not have to deal with my challenges alone. It is good to know I am always cared for & that even when things look as though they are falling apart, with my faith in you, I will soon see that my life is really coming together. My faith in you makes me strong, God. Thank you. With you in my life, dear God I know I will have nothing to worry about. Thank you. I love you!
Tyler, I have to close for the evening. It is getting dark & I have to make dinner, & walk Snicks! I hope you have a peaceful night. May it be all that you need & want. Sweet dreams my precious son. I miss you so much & I love you beyond anything in this world. You will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, October 24, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Just wanted to stop by & tell you that I love you so much! I miss you terribly. I just heard " Wind Beneath My Wings " by Bette Midler & the tears just started to flow. I remember the last time I heard this song & where I was. I was in the hospital getting ready to say goodbye to you. I sang you this song as it was always " our song." Guess it hit me harder than what I thought it would. Guess that song always will from now on.
Today has been a pretty good day. Did a few things as promised. I got out of bed & exercised too! I am trying! I won't let it defeat me at all. I am strong & I will get through this. It may take day to day for results but it will happen!!!!
I hope that you have a great evening! I hope that it will be all that you want it to be & need it to be. I will walk Snicks later & I will look for the stars & moon to be shining brightly. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you be listening out & can hear me.
You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Just wanted to stop by & tell you that I love you so much! I miss you terribly. I just heard " Wind Beneath My Wings " by Bette Midler & the tears just started to flow. I remember the last time I heard this song & where I was. I was in the hospital getting ready to say goodbye to you. I sang you this song as it was always " our song." Guess it hit me harder than what I thought it would. Guess that song always will from now on.
Today has been a pretty good day. Did a few things as promised. I got out of bed & exercised too! I am trying! I won't let it defeat me at all. I am strong & I will get through this. It may take day to day for results but it will happen!!!!
I hope that you have a great evening! I hope that it will be all that you want it to be & need it to be. I will walk Snicks later & I will look for the stars & moon to be shining brightly. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you be listening out & can hear me.
You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my pumpkin! How are you doing tonight on this Thursday evening? Mom is doing much better than yesterday that is for sure. I had a bad one with a big stomachache all day & night. I got some sleep & I actually feel pretty good. Lately, I have been going through a rough patch again. I am not much into my old routine & I find myself being quite sluggish again, not wanting to do anything during the days. I would rather just stay in bed all day & do nothing. I know it is such a bad habit. I am trying to get back into being myself again. I try to do a couple things during the day to show myself I can do it. It is a very slow process but I will continue to march forward. I did do more today than I have in the last 2 weeks. I don't even know how it even started. I have been missing you so much & I think I have just been so emotional that it really over took me. The emotional roller coaster ride that grief has is so hard to handle. Some days are good & others are really hard. I think it is because the holidays are coming again & so is the wedding. All the times that I want you here more than the normal. I will promise you that I will keep trying so I can make you proud of me. I need it. I need you & I need your help. Thank you!
John is home now from his surgery. It has been a really rough time for him. Lots of pain & sickness with the different meds that they had him on. Boy, don't we both know how that is. I called daily to let them know I was thinking of them. I told Aunt Becky that I ask you to go be with them & to watch over them both. She was thankful. I guess everyone else is doing well too. Bob still continues to have some hard days but I know you are with them as well. I know you watch over Mom, Mark, our whole family & friends on a daily basis. It means the world to us!
I took my nightly walk already. The stars were showing but not too brightly though. No moon again either. The weather here is just beautiful... 84 during the day & in the 60's at night. Such a nice switch from the hot summer we had this year! I am looking forward to the even cooler days & nights that will be coming in a month or so. Not going to complain as everyone back home will be getting snow very soon. I am really hoping that we have excellent weather to drive to NH in December & for the wedding. I know you will be watching over us then to so I am not worried at all. I will whisper to you later this evening so I hope you will be listening out for Mom. I hope you hear me.
I have a couple daily prayers for you so I will start them now. October 21~ Love is patient;love is kind...It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.Lord, what an amazing thing it is that pure love keeps no record of wrongs & it is not resentful. Can you teach us to love like that. Lord? Instead, we often go over & over all the grievances we have towards our spouses, children, or friends we love. It is really possible to tear up those records & look at the people we love the way you look at us---as though we'd never sinned? I believe it is, Lord, but only by your power. Give us the strength to forget the wrongs, let go of the resentments, & embrace the love. We should be willing to pardon others as many times as we pardon ourselves. I am trying to forgive & just let things go. I think I have done really well considering where I was a few years ago. I will continue to work on this. I don't want anger or resentment with anyone. I just want love in my life.
October 22~ Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, & a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but, on the contrary, repay with a blessing. It is for this that you were called---that you might inherit a blessing. Almighty God, why is it painfully difficult to forgive the people who are closest to me? I feel that they should love me enough to never hurt me, yet they do so many times. Since I don't want to be bitter & resentful, help me find the courage to forgive their pettiness & see beyond the smallness of their behavior. I know, God, that I'm not always perfect either, & I pray they may also forgive me for hurting them too. We always seem to hurt the ones we love, but teach me, God, how to forgive & be forgiven. Amen. This is a prayer that I have wondered for so many years. This is something that I have struggled with personally. I have always asked for God's help with this. I am better than before but I still need the guidance & help to continue. This is a daily issue for me. I ask for this help every night & day. I will continue to do this until I can completely let everything go & live a loving & pure life.
October 23~If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new! Give me a heart like yours, Lord. A heart that can show compassion & love to someone who needs it---especially when that person is incapable of showing compassion & love to me in return. This isn't something that comes naturally, Lord. We live in a society that is always asking, " What's in it for me?" Soften my heart, Lord, so that the question I always ask first is not " what's in it for me?" but " what's in it for you?" Amen. You can't give too much to a friend in need. I believe that I do this on a regular basis for my family & friends, even strangers at times. I help as much as I can. I ask for nothing in return. I have always been this way. A giver not a receiver. I like that about me. I guess that is my nature. It makes me smile to help others. I am blessed with this = ]
Well, Tyler, it is getting late & I am tired. I will close this letter for now. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I hope you have a wonderful evening wherever you are & whatever you are doing. Sweet dreams my precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my pumpkin! How are you doing tonight on this Thursday evening? Mom is doing much better than yesterday that is for sure. I had a bad one with a big stomachache all day & night. I got some sleep & I actually feel pretty good. Lately, I have been going through a rough patch again. I am not much into my old routine & I find myself being quite sluggish again, not wanting to do anything during the days. I would rather just stay in bed all day & do nothing. I know it is such a bad habit. I am trying to get back into being myself again. I try to do a couple things during the day to show myself I can do it. It is a very slow process but I will continue to march forward. I did do more today than I have in the last 2 weeks. I don't even know how it even started. I have been missing you so much & I think I have just been so emotional that it really over took me. The emotional roller coaster ride that grief has is so hard to handle. Some days are good & others are really hard. I think it is because the holidays are coming again & so is the wedding. All the times that I want you here more than the normal. I will promise you that I will keep trying so I can make you proud of me. I need it. I need you & I need your help. Thank you!
John is home now from his surgery. It has been a really rough time for him. Lots of pain & sickness with the different meds that they had him on. Boy, don't we both know how that is. I called daily to let them know I was thinking of them. I told Aunt Becky that I ask you to go be with them & to watch over them both. She was thankful. I guess everyone else is doing well too. Bob still continues to have some hard days but I know you are with them as well. I know you watch over Mom, Mark, our whole family & friends on a daily basis. It means the world to us!
I took my nightly walk already. The stars were showing but not too brightly though. No moon again either. The weather here is just beautiful... 84 during the day & in the 60's at night. Such a nice switch from the hot summer we had this year! I am looking forward to the even cooler days & nights that will be coming in a month or so. Not going to complain as everyone back home will be getting snow very soon. I am really hoping that we have excellent weather to drive to NH in December & for the wedding. I know you will be watching over us then to so I am not worried at all. I will whisper to you later this evening so I hope you will be listening out for Mom. I hope you hear me.
I have a couple daily prayers for you so I will start them now. October 21~ Love is patient;love is kind...It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.Lord, what an amazing thing it is that pure love keeps no record of wrongs & it is not resentful. Can you teach us to love like that. Lord? Instead, we often go over & over all the grievances we have towards our spouses, children, or friends we love. It is really possible to tear up those records & look at the people we love the way you look at us---as though we'd never sinned? I believe it is, Lord, but only by your power. Give us the strength to forget the wrongs, let go of the resentments, & embrace the love. We should be willing to pardon others as many times as we pardon ourselves. I am trying to forgive & just let things go. I think I have done really well considering where I was a few years ago. I will continue to work on this. I don't want anger or resentment with anyone. I just want love in my life.
October 22~ Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, & a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but, on the contrary, repay with a blessing. It is for this that you were called---that you might inherit a blessing. Almighty God, why is it painfully difficult to forgive the people who are closest to me? I feel that they should love me enough to never hurt me, yet they do so many times. Since I don't want to be bitter & resentful, help me find the courage to forgive their pettiness & see beyond the smallness of their behavior. I know, God, that I'm not always perfect either, & I pray they may also forgive me for hurting them too. We always seem to hurt the ones we love, but teach me, God, how to forgive & be forgiven. Amen. This is a prayer that I have wondered for so many years. This is something that I have struggled with personally. I have always asked for God's help with this. I am better than before but I still need the guidance & help to continue. This is a daily issue for me. I ask for this help every night & day. I will continue to do this until I can completely let everything go & live a loving & pure life.
October 23~If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new! Give me a heart like yours, Lord. A heart that can show compassion & love to someone who needs it---especially when that person is incapable of showing compassion & love to me in return. This isn't something that comes naturally, Lord. We live in a society that is always asking, " What's in it for me?" Soften my heart, Lord, so that the question I always ask first is not " what's in it for me?" but " what's in it for you?" Amen. You can't give too much to a friend in need. I believe that I do this on a regular basis for my family & friends, even strangers at times. I help as much as I can. I ask for nothing in return. I have always been this way. A giver not a receiver. I like that about me. I guess that is my nature. It makes me smile to help others. I am blessed with this = ]
Well, Tyler, it is getting late & I am tired. I will close this letter for now. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I hope you have a wonderful evening wherever you are & whatever you are doing. Sweet dreams my precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, October 20, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! I hope that you are doing well today. I told you that I would write to you & I kept my promise! Today is a hard day for me as it is 16 months since you passed. I can't believe that it has been this long. I was looking at your picture last night just like I always do & I was so emotional. I cried a bit. Some days are really tough for Mom & other days I can get by. So much to deal with on an every day basis gets to me. I am trying my best so that you will be proud of me. Please when my days are tough, help me out & just bare with me. My heart is still torn to pieces the evening that you left me. I miss you so much, Tyler. I love you to the moon & back.
A couple of things to let you know of.. John came through the surgery just fine. Doctor actually did it in less time than what he thought. He is well but in a lot of pain. Please watch over Aunt Becky as she feels that she will have a hard time caring for him once he is home & watch over John so that his healing process is not as long as they detected it would be. Thanks! Second thing is I was reading that Will ( remember him from Crotched Mtn? ), his Momma Tracey posted today on FB that he will get to go home for good at the beginning of November. He gets to get out of that awful place & be with his family again. I am so happy to hear this, but sad that it is not you & I celebrating! I wish them the best of luck. Lets see..what else.. Mark & Mom maybe getting another dog. One of my friends has to move & he can't take his dog with him. She is so adorable. She is a small little thing. She is 6 years old & her name is Saige. You would just love her, Tyler. I should find out soon if she will be ours or if someone else will be taking her. I think that is all the updates for the last couple of days. I know that I have 4 daily prayers to do for you so I better get to them now...lol!
October 17~I give you a new commandment, that you love one another: Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. Heavenly Father, thank you for the grace I have received at the hands of others. I have not earned their trust or forgiveness, yet they have been given to me. Such acts of love can only be at your bidding & through your word. Thank you for letting me long for nothing. Let me learn to love others the same way you love me, thinking only of them & not myself. There is only one happiness in life, to love & be loved. This prayer is so true! I strive to be this way daily, Ty. I will continue to be this way with the help of God & my Guardian Angels!
October 18~ Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice & exult & give him the glory. Today, Lord, I want to be guided by a grateful heart. As I understand it, such a heart doesn't search for what's missing, but delights in what's present. A grateful heart excepts the best from others & gives its best in return. A grateful heart forgets what might have been & enjoys every moment of each new day as it comes. A grateful heart is a prayer of its own----one that fills the heavens with praise! Please, Lord, give me a grateful heart. This is a work in progress for Mom. I do my best but I know I can do more & better. I am learning as I get older. I am happier with the way that I am & the person I am becoming. The only thing that would make it the best is it you were here with Mom. I know you are with me but not in the way that I would like. I will promise to become the person with the grateful heart through our Lord.
October 19~ Light is sweet, & it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun. Lord, Jesus, I want to walk in your footsteps, being a beacon of love--- a light, & hope for this broken world. I long to fulfill your plan for me & walk the path you have set out for me. Let me share the secret of my inner peace with all who see me by acting as you would act & loving as would love, each & every day of my life. Amen. Again, I am trying. A work in progress but I know I will get there. I will make God & you, Tyler ( plus myself ) proud! Wait & see = ]
October 20~ God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work. Lord, today I ask you to bless & comfort all who daily see pain & desperation as part of their jobs. Bless the police officers, Lord, & comfort them in knowledge that what they do truly matters. Bless the doctors, & nurses working with the seriously ill, & comfort them with your insight. Bless & comfort the care takers toiling through the night, Lord, & send your strength to restore them. All these people are serving you as they serve others. Please give them your special blessing. Amen. Please Lord, bless the Fire Fighters, EMS, & all medical staff that are also taking care of others. Please bless my family, my friends, pets & everyone that I love dearly. Please bless me too. Amen.
Those were some pretty great prayers for the last few days! Hope you enjoy them as I do. The night sky will be turning from a pretty blue to a dark peaceful star filled night. I am hoping so at least. I am wondering if I will see the stars & moon tonight. I will be walking Snickers in the next couple hours so we shall see. I will be looking for them. I will whisper to you as I always do my sweet precious son. I hope your evening will be peaceful & restful. Watch over us as you always do. Thank you for all this. Sweet dreams. I miss you. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. I will be posting some new pictures for you. A mix of puppies, dolphins, seals, & of course your favorite.. Jack! Kinda have to get in the Halloween spirit as it is only 11 days away! Hope you like them. Love you pumpkin xoxoxo = ]
Hi my sweet son! I hope that you are doing well today. I told you that I would write to you & I kept my promise! Today is a hard day for me as it is 16 months since you passed. I can't believe that it has been this long. I was looking at your picture last night just like I always do & I was so emotional. I cried a bit. Some days are really tough for Mom & other days I can get by. So much to deal with on an every day basis gets to me. I am trying my best so that you will be proud of me. Please when my days are tough, help me out & just bare with me. My heart is still torn to pieces the evening that you left me. I miss you so much, Tyler. I love you to the moon & back.
A couple of things to let you know of.. John came through the surgery just fine. Doctor actually did it in less time than what he thought. He is well but in a lot of pain. Please watch over Aunt Becky as she feels that she will have a hard time caring for him once he is home & watch over John so that his healing process is not as long as they detected it would be. Thanks! Second thing is I was reading that Will ( remember him from Crotched Mtn? ), his Momma Tracey posted today on FB that he will get to go home for good at the beginning of November. He gets to get out of that awful place & be with his family again. I am so happy to hear this, but sad that it is not you & I celebrating! I wish them the best of luck. Lets see..what else.. Mark & Mom maybe getting another dog. One of my friends has to move & he can't take his dog with him. She is so adorable. She is a small little thing. She is 6 years old & her name is Saige. You would just love her, Tyler. I should find out soon if she will be ours or if someone else will be taking her. I think that is all the updates for the last couple of days. I know that I have 4 daily prayers to do for you so I better get to them now...lol!
October 17~I give you a new commandment, that you love one another: Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. Heavenly Father, thank you for the grace I have received at the hands of others. I have not earned their trust or forgiveness, yet they have been given to me. Such acts of love can only be at your bidding & through your word. Thank you for letting me long for nothing. Let me learn to love others the same way you love me, thinking only of them & not myself. There is only one happiness in life, to love & be loved. This prayer is so true! I strive to be this way daily, Ty. I will continue to be this way with the help of God & my Guardian Angels!
October 18~ Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice & exult & give him the glory. Today, Lord, I want to be guided by a grateful heart. As I understand it, such a heart doesn't search for what's missing, but delights in what's present. A grateful heart excepts the best from others & gives its best in return. A grateful heart forgets what might have been & enjoys every moment of each new day as it comes. A grateful heart is a prayer of its own----one that fills the heavens with praise! Please, Lord, give me a grateful heart. This is a work in progress for Mom. I do my best but I know I can do more & better. I am learning as I get older. I am happier with the way that I am & the person I am becoming. The only thing that would make it the best is it you were here with Mom. I know you are with me but not in the way that I would like. I will promise to become the person with the grateful heart through our Lord.
October 19~ Light is sweet, & it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun. Lord, Jesus, I want to walk in your footsteps, being a beacon of love--- a light, & hope for this broken world. I long to fulfill your plan for me & walk the path you have set out for me. Let me share the secret of my inner peace with all who see me by acting as you would act & loving as would love, each & every day of my life. Amen. Again, I am trying. A work in progress but I know I will get there. I will make God & you, Tyler ( plus myself ) proud! Wait & see = ]
October 20~ God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work. Lord, today I ask you to bless & comfort all who daily see pain & desperation as part of their jobs. Bless the police officers, Lord, & comfort them in knowledge that what they do truly matters. Bless the doctors, & nurses working with the seriously ill, & comfort them with your insight. Bless & comfort the care takers toiling through the night, Lord, & send your strength to restore them. All these people are serving you as they serve others. Please give them your special blessing. Amen. Please Lord, bless the Fire Fighters, EMS, & all medical staff that are also taking care of others. Please bless my family, my friends, pets & everyone that I love dearly. Please bless me too. Amen.
Those were some pretty great prayers for the last few days! Hope you enjoy them as I do. The night sky will be turning from a pretty blue to a dark peaceful star filled night. I am hoping so at least. I am wondering if I will see the stars & moon tonight. I will be walking Snickers in the next couple hours so we shall see. I will be looking for them. I will whisper to you as I always do my sweet precious son. I hope your evening will be peaceful & restful. Watch over us as you always do. Thank you for all this. Sweet dreams. I miss you. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. I will be posting some new pictures for you. A mix of puppies, dolphins, seals, & of course your favorite.. Jack! Kinda have to get in the Halloween spirit as it is only 11 days away! Hope you like them. Love you pumpkin xoxoxo = ]
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? As you know Mark & I have had quite the week & we are both exhausted & have been sick. I am sorry that I have not written to you in the last 3 days but that is why. I wanted to give you a quick letter tonight to let you know that I miss you & I love you so much. I promise to write to you tomorrow. So much to tell you & a few daily prayers to write.
I took Snicks out for his walk. No stars or moon were out but I know you are there shining down on us. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for Mom. Please watch over us all as you always do. Thanks my precious son!
May you have sweet dreams this evening. Fly high & fly free! Forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I will write a huge letter tomorrow. Until then.. I will see you in my dreams!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? As you know Mark & I have had quite the week & we are both exhausted & have been sick. I am sorry that I have not written to you in the last 3 days but that is why. I wanted to give you a quick letter tonight to let you know that I miss you & I love you so much. I promise to write to you tomorrow. So much to tell you & a few daily prayers to write.
I took Snicks out for his walk. No stars or moon were out but I know you are there shining down on us. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for Mom. Please watch over us all as you always do. Thanks my precious son!
May you have sweet dreams this evening. Fly high & fly free! Forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I will write a huge letter tomorrow. Until then.. I will see you in my dreams!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is up in the loft right now writing to you & looking out at the dark evening sky. I am seeing some stars shining brightly so that has put a big smile on my face. I am staring out the window & wondering where you are right now & what are you doing? I know wherever you are & whatever you are doing I am sure you are smiling that wide grin that you had & are so happy! Mom is having a pretty rough time right now as I think that you already know. Tough times ahead for me but I know that in time I will be for the best. Can you please be with Mom. I really need you pumpkin. I wish you were here with me. I really could use a Tyler pep talk. I could use your advice on what I should do. God knows just how much I miss you. It used to be that we had each other no matter what & now I don't really have anyone. I am completely alone & boy do I feel it too. It sucks. I hate it. If only I could hear your voice again....
Tomorrow is the day that John goes in for his surgery. I tried calling Aunt Becky to chat with her& to give my well wishes to John but no luck. I had to leave a message for them both. They either got it later this evening or will get it when they get home in 3 days. I know you will be watching over him as he is in surgery & watching over your Aunt so that she knows she can do this & everything will be ok. I just spoke to Grandpa. He is doing well. Working a lot still & he seems to be enjoying it. Debbie is doing good too. She was in bed sleeping so I didn't get to chat with her. I told Grandpa that I would call him back tomorrow when it was an earlier time. Watch over us all Ty. We all need you in our lives still in so many different ways. Thank you!
Here are the daily prayers for the last 2 days. October 15~ Keep the straight path of your feet, all your ways will be sure. O God, I cried, no dark disguise can e'er hereafter hide from me thy radiant identity! Thou canst not move across the grass But quick my eyes will see Thee pass, Nor speak, however silently, But my hushed voice will answer Thee. I know the path that tells Thy way Through the cool eve of every day; God, I can push the grass apart And lay my finger on Thy heart! I am trying daily to keep the path for myself. I need to more than ever now that there is a big change upon me.
October 16~Jesus said to his disciples, " Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Dear Lord, when I need you, I will call your name & you are with me. You will never leave my side. You know my every desire & want before I know them myself. My faith in you is steadfast. As long as I continue to trust in you, my future is secure & no bad thing can overcome me. I ask that you watch over me as you have always done, all the days of my life. I will always need you in my life. Thank you God for all you do for me. Thank you for all my blessings daily. Amen.
Mom just finished up talking Snickers for a walk. The weather is just so beautiful. The evening sky was dark & the stars where shining. No moon but that is ok. I kept looking up & smiled because I was thinking of you. I love you so much my sweet precious son. Nothing will ever change that. I will be whispering to you later so be listening out for your Mom. I hope you have a wonderful night. Sweet dreams. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is up in the loft right now writing to you & looking out at the dark evening sky. I am seeing some stars shining brightly so that has put a big smile on my face. I am staring out the window & wondering where you are right now & what are you doing? I know wherever you are & whatever you are doing I am sure you are smiling that wide grin that you had & are so happy! Mom is having a pretty rough time right now as I think that you already know. Tough times ahead for me but I know that in time I will be for the best. Can you please be with Mom. I really need you pumpkin. I wish you were here with me. I really could use a Tyler pep talk. I could use your advice on what I should do. God knows just how much I miss you. It used to be that we had each other no matter what & now I don't really have anyone. I am completely alone & boy do I feel it too. It sucks. I hate it. If only I could hear your voice again....
Tomorrow is the day that John goes in for his surgery. I tried calling Aunt Becky to chat with her& to give my well wishes to John but no luck. I had to leave a message for them both. They either got it later this evening or will get it when they get home in 3 days. I know you will be watching over him as he is in surgery & watching over your Aunt so that she knows she can do this & everything will be ok. I just spoke to Grandpa. He is doing well. Working a lot still & he seems to be enjoying it. Debbie is doing good too. She was in bed sleeping so I didn't get to chat with her. I told Grandpa that I would call him back tomorrow when it was an earlier time. Watch over us all Ty. We all need you in our lives still in so many different ways. Thank you!
Here are the daily prayers for the last 2 days. October 15~ Keep the straight path of your feet, all your ways will be sure. O God, I cried, no dark disguise can e'er hereafter hide from me thy radiant identity! Thou canst not move across the grass But quick my eyes will see Thee pass, Nor speak, however silently, But my hushed voice will answer Thee. I know the path that tells Thy way Through the cool eve of every day; God, I can push the grass apart And lay my finger on Thy heart! I am trying daily to keep the path for myself. I need to more than ever now that there is a big change upon me.
October 16~Jesus said to his disciples, " Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Dear Lord, when I need you, I will call your name & you are with me. You will never leave my side. You know my every desire & want before I know them myself. My faith in you is steadfast. As long as I continue to trust in you, my future is secure & no bad thing can overcome me. I ask that you watch over me as you have always done, all the days of my life. I will always need you in my life. Thank you God for all you do for me. Thank you for all my blessings daily. Amen.
Mom just finished up talking Snickers for a walk. The weather is just so beautiful. The evening sky was dark & the stars where shining. No moon but that is ok. I kept looking up & smiled because I was thinking of you. I love you so much my sweet precious son. Nothing will ever change that. I will be whispering to you later so be listening out for your Mom. I hope you have a wonderful night. Sweet dreams. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? I hope that you are happy no matter what you are doing or where you are. I always wanted nothing more then for you to be happy & I still want that so much for you. The last couple days have been tough for Mom but I am getting by. Sunday night we have dinner out & I guess either I ate too much or it just didn't agree with me because I was sick all night & Monday morning until 5 am. I didn't do anything at all yesterday. Slept a lot & just felt awful. Today I am feeling better but I am just having a tough day. No need to explain it to you because I know you are here with Mom & trying to help me out. Thanks sweetie. I have spoken to you most of the day so I hope that you are hearing Mom talk to you. I wish you were here so that I could see your face & hear your voice. I hate that I can't anymore. I can't believe that in 6 days it will be 16 months that you passed. I know you have no concept of time where you are so to you it seems like seconds but to Mom it seems like a life time already. I hope you are learning what you need to so that when I one day join you... you have the lessons we need for our next life together. I am doing all that I can here to learn & except the hard truths to life so that I will be ready as well. Please keep sending me the signs to let me know that you are around. Thank you.
I spoke to Meme yesterday & boy is she having such a rough time. I hurt for her. It makes me so sad to hear how depressed she is. I know that you are with her & watching over her as much as you can. I just wish there was something I could do for them both from where I am. Grandpa is doing well & so is Debbie. Aunt Becky & John are getting ready for his surgery in 4 days. They are making sure that they have everything set for it all. I know you will be with John & watching over him. Thank you so much for all that you do for us Tyler. I smile & I am so proud of you. You will always be my Hero!
I have a couple of prayers to type to you so I will start them now. October 13~ Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life. Lord, would you think it insincere if I said thanks for the wrinkles & gray hair? What if I said thanks for the extra padding around my hips or for the creaking in my knees when I climb the stairs? You see, I've come to understand that growing older is not right, it's a privilege that not everyone is granted. And should you give me the opportunity to grow gracefully into a contented senior, with an abundance of grandchildren & great- grandchildren, I will be blessed beyond belief! And so I choose to replace my grumblings about aging with gratitude for the gift. Thank you, Lord. I am so thankful for all that I have to go through on a daily basis. I have had hardships & problems after it all & not once do I complain about it. I am just so thankful to be alive & to have another day. I count every breath that I take as a gift. Thank you God for giving me these gifts. I take nothing for granted...ever!
October 14~ All of you must clothe yourselves with humility in your dealings with one another. Lord, let me be a mentor to someone in need today. I've had my share of trials & tribulations; let me use them to help. You truly can take the ashes of our mistakes & turn them into beauty. You can work all things together for good. The worst thing that ever happened to me can become the bridge between my heart & someone else's. Thank you, Lord. In your great compassion you don't let my pain or my mistakes go to waste. Seize opportunities to display kindness & compassion. I would like to think I help many out on a daily basis with things that I may say on my letters to you, Tyler. I believe that I am helping others heal while I do. I have had this blog now for 15 months & I have many followers. I would like to think that with what I write & share with you is helping others all over the world. I don't do it for anyone other than myself & you but if I can help people along the way then I know I am doing something right. I think I have helped several others throughout my years & that makes me happy. I guess I am just that type of person..lol! I will always be willing to lend a helping hand when I can. That will never change!
Tuesday evening is coming to a close. How the days go by so quickly now. I am hoping that with all the rain that we received in the last 4 days that the sky will be clear & I will see the moon & stars shining brightly. If I don't I still know you are out there somewhere & you are smiling & happy! Guess I wish I could see it. I wish you a wonderful & peaceful evening. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for Mom. Sweet dreams my precious son. I love you with all my heart & soul. I miss you so much. Fly high & fly free. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? I hope that you are happy no matter what you are doing or where you are. I always wanted nothing more then for you to be happy & I still want that so much for you. The last couple days have been tough for Mom but I am getting by. Sunday night we have dinner out & I guess either I ate too much or it just didn't agree with me because I was sick all night & Monday morning until 5 am. I didn't do anything at all yesterday. Slept a lot & just felt awful. Today I am feeling better but I am just having a tough day. No need to explain it to you because I know you are here with Mom & trying to help me out. Thanks sweetie. I have spoken to you most of the day so I hope that you are hearing Mom talk to you. I wish you were here so that I could see your face & hear your voice. I hate that I can't anymore. I can't believe that in 6 days it will be 16 months that you passed. I know you have no concept of time where you are so to you it seems like seconds but to Mom it seems like a life time already. I hope you are learning what you need to so that when I one day join you... you have the lessons we need for our next life together. I am doing all that I can here to learn & except the hard truths to life so that I will be ready as well. Please keep sending me the signs to let me know that you are around. Thank you.
I spoke to Meme yesterday & boy is she having such a rough time. I hurt for her. It makes me so sad to hear how depressed she is. I know that you are with her & watching over her as much as you can. I just wish there was something I could do for them both from where I am. Grandpa is doing well & so is Debbie. Aunt Becky & John are getting ready for his surgery in 4 days. They are making sure that they have everything set for it all. I know you will be with John & watching over him. Thank you so much for all that you do for us Tyler. I smile & I am so proud of you. You will always be my Hero!
I have a couple of prayers to type to you so I will start them now. October 13~ Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life. Lord, would you think it insincere if I said thanks for the wrinkles & gray hair? What if I said thanks for the extra padding around my hips or for the creaking in my knees when I climb the stairs? You see, I've come to understand that growing older is not right, it's a privilege that not everyone is granted. And should you give me the opportunity to grow gracefully into a contented senior, with an abundance of grandchildren & great- grandchildren, I will be blessed beyond belief! And so I choose to replace my grumblings about aging with gratitude for the gift. Thank you, Lord. I am so thankful for all that I have to go through on a daily basis. I have had hardships & problems after it all & not once do I complain about it. I am just so thankful to be alive & to have another day. I count every breath that I take as a gift. Thank you God for giving me these gifts. I take nothing for granted...ever!
October 14~ All of you must clothe yourselves with humility in your dealings with one another. Lord, let me be a mentor to someone in need today. I've had my share of trials & tribulations; let me use them to help. You truly can take the ashes of our mistakes & turn them into beauty. You can work all things together for good. The worst thing that ever happened to me can become the bridge between my heart & someone else's. Thank you, Lord. In your great compassion you don't let my pain or my mistakes go to waste. Seize opportunities to display kindness & compassion. I would like to think I help many out on a daily basis with things that I may say on my letters to you, Tyler. I believe that I am helping others heal while I do. I have had this blog now for 15 months & I have many followers. I would like to think that with what I write & share with you is helping others all over the world. I don't do it for anyone other than myself & you but if I can help people along the way then I know I am doing something right. I think I have helped several others throughout my years & that makes me happy. I guess I am just that type of person..lol! I will always be willing to lend a helping hand when I can. That will never change!
Tuesday evening is coming to a close. How the days go by so quickly now. I am hoping that with all the rain that we received in the last 4 days that the sky will be clear & I will see the moon & stars shining brightly. If I don't I still know you are out there somewhere & you are smiling & happy! Guess I wish I could see it. I wish you a wonderful & peaceful evening. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for Mom. Sweet dreams my precious son. I love you with all my heart & soul. I miss you so much. Fly high & fly free. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this rainy Sunday evening? Mom has has a good day today. It was a very busy weekend to say the least. Saturday we went & did the usual things..errands, grocery shopping, etc & Saturday night we went to Church. It is called Lakewood Church where Joel & Victoria Olsteen are the Pastors. It was amazing! The energy in that place was incredible. Our neighbor Ms. Betty took us & we have excellent seats. We were about 40 feet from the stage. The Church is the old arena for the football stadium in Houston. Tyler.. the music was unbelievable & the sermon was wonderful. I know you would have loved it. I told Mark you would have been singing & just having a feeling of peace. I do believe in some way you were there with us. We plan on going again next week when Susan Boyle is singing. I can't wait for that! We got home around 10 pm & went to bed shortly after. Today was another day at David's Bridal. They located the same style dress that I purchased & even though it was 2 sizes smaller it fit Mom like a glove. Very little alterations were needed & I loved the way it looked. I was so happy. I have a feeling that you had a part of it so thank you so much! I miss you so much & I love you beyond anything or any words could ever say!
Watched some football today. Thought you would like to know that the Patriots won today! So did the Cowboys. Green Bay however won the Dolphins..sorry buddy... the score was pretty close though. Another game will be coming on soon so we shall be relaxing & watching that in a bit.
I know I have a few prayers to write to you so I want to get them started before I forget. I really need to get better with this & I promise that I will. October 9~ For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but have eternal life. There is nothing like the feeling of being loved. Lord, & I long to find someone to love me completely for who I am. I have a heart filled with so much love to give to others, so please send me a heart that is half full, & I will give of my own to fill it. I want to be of service & I want to give back some of the amazing grace & love you have given me. Help me find those who would most benefit from my generosity & love, & please guide me to them. Thank you, Lord. Great thoughts come from the heart. I think that I have been doing this for some time now & I am so thankful for this. I will continue because that is just the person I am.
October 10~ I can do all things through him who strengths me. God, you are like water when I am parched with a thirst nothing else can fill. I drink of your love, & I am reborn with life force. I'm able to see everything in a different light & to make better choices when issues arise. And we both know they always do. Life is not supposed to always be easy, but with your guidance, I know that when hard times come, I can find the energy & wisdom I need to get that extra burst of hope & faith. With you, God, nothing is impossible & all things are achievable. I have personally learned this since I was 17 years old. So many things have happened to me & through all the difficult times God was with me & helping me get through it all. Thank you for everything. For all you did & continue to do for me. I am forever grateful.
October 11~Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. O' God your love alone can fill the darkest places within my soul. Please hear my prayer & please fill me with the light of your ever-present love. I feel utterly alone & lost & only your grace can take away the sadness& replace it with an expectant hope & a newfound faith in your radiant goodness. The love of my family & friends helps me, but only your love, God, makes me feel whole & complete & at total peace. Please hear my prayer! God's help is nearer than the door. I ask you God to please continue to fill me with your love every day. Thank you. Amen.
October 12~ Honor your father & your mother. Heavenly Father, today I ask you to bestow your special blessing on the elderly, especially those who are in assisted-living facilities or nursing homes. You know how hard it has been for them to give up the active lives they loved. You know the grief over losses & the the fears that constantly fill their minds. And you know well the health problems with which so many of them are afflicted. Today, Lord, please bless them with a memory that brings a smile, a new sense of purpose, or an unexpected visit from a loved one. Send caretakers with the time to linger with them to see how they are truly feeling. And bless them with a deep peace that comes from knowing that they are right where they belong---in your loving hands. The presence of the Lord is a place of help & blessing. Please Lord, bless my Grammy ( Grace Hamel ). She is a beautiful person inside & out. I miss her very much & I love her. Thank you.
The skies are dark now & the clouds are thick. We have received heavy rains today & are in for some nasty weather tomorrow. I know I won't see the stars & moon shining for the next couple evenings but I know that they are there shining for others to see. I know you are there somewhere doing what you need to & what you want to Tyler. May you have a peaceful night. I will whisper to you as I always do. Sweet dreams my precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I miss you & love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this rainy Sunday evening? Mom has has a good day today. It was a very busy weekend to say the least. Saturday we went & did the usual things..errands, grocery shopping, etc & Saturday night we went to Church. It is called Lakewood Church where Joel & Victoria Olsteen are the Pastors. It was amazing! The energy in that place was incredible. Our neighbor Ms. Betty took us & we have excellent seats. We were about 40 feet from the stage. The Church is the old arena for the football stadium in Houston. Tyler.. the music was unbelievable & the sermon was wonderful. I know you would have loved it. I told Mark you would have been singing & just having a feeling of peace. I do believe in some way you were there with us. We plan on going again next week when Susan Boyle is singing. I can't wait for that! We got home around 10 pm & went to bed shortly after. Today was another day at David's Bridal. They located the same style dress that I purchased & even though it was 2 sizes smaller it fit Mom like a glove. Very little alterations were needed & I loved the way it looked. I was so happy. I have a feeling that you had a part of it so thank you so much! I miss you so much & I love you beyond anything or any words could ever say!
Watched some football today. Thought you would like to know that the Patriots won today! So did the Cowboys. Green Bay however won the Dolphins..sorry buddy... the score was pretty close though. Another game will be coming on soon so we shall be relaxing & watching that in a bit.
I know I have a few prayers to write to you so I want to get them started before I forget. I really need to get better with this & I promise that I will. October 9~ For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but have eternal life. There is nothing like the feeling of being loved. Lord, & I long to find someone to love me completely for who I am. I have a heart filled with so much love to give to others, so please send me a heart that is half full, & I will give of my own to fill it. I want to be of service & I want to give back some of the amazing grace & love you have given me. Help me find those who would most benefit from my generosity & love, & please guide me to them. Thank you, Lord. Great thoughts come from the heart. I think that I have been doing this for some time now & I am so thankful for this. I will continue because that is just the person I am.
October 10~ I can do all things through him who strengths me. God, you are like water when I am parched with a thirst nothing else can fill. I drink of your love, & I am reborn with life force. I'm able to see everything in a different light & to make better choices when issues arise. And we both know they always do. Life is not supposed to always be easy, but with your guidance, I know that when hard times come, I can find the energy & wisdom I need to get that extra burst of hope & faith. With you, God, nothing is impossible & all things are achievable. I have personally learned this since I was 17 years old. So many things have happened to me & through all the difficult times God was with me & helping me get through it all. Thank you for everything. For all you did & continue to do for me. I am forever grateful.
October 11~Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. O' God your love alone can fill the darkest places within my soul. Please hear my prayer & please fill me with the light of your ever-present love. I feel utterly alone & lost & only your grace can take away the sadness& replace it with an expectant hope & a newfound faith in your radiant goodness. The love of my family & friends helps me, but only your love, God, makes me feel whole & complete & at total peace. Please hear my prayer! God's help is nearer than the door. I ask you God to please continue to fill me with your love every day. Thank you. Amen.
October 12~ Honor your father & your mother. Heavenly Father, today I ask you to bestow your special blessing on the elderly, especially those who are in assisted-living facilities or nursing homes. You know how hard it has been for them to give up the active lives they loved. You know the grief over losses & the the fears that constantly fill their minds. And you know well the health problems with which so many of them are afflicted. Today, Lord, please bless them with a memory that brings a smile, a new sense of purpose, or an unexpected visit from a loved one. Send caretakers with the time to linger with them to see how they are truly feeling. And bless them with a deep peace that comes from knowing that they are right where they belong---in your loving hands. The presence of the Lord is a place of help & blessing. Please Lord, bless my Grammy ( Grace Hamel ). She is a beautiful person inside & out. I miss her very much & I love her. Thank you.
The skies are dark now & the clouds are thick. We have received heavy rains today & are in for some nasty weather tomorrow. I know I won't see the stars & moon shining for the next couple evenings but I know that they are there shining for others to see. I know you are there somewhere doing what you need to & what you want to Tyler. May you have a peaceful night. I will whisper to you as I always do. Sweet dreams my precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I miss you & love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? I am sure that you are doing so well. I bet you are smiling where ever you are & what ever you are doing. I bet that it is super important as well. Wish I could see that smile one more time & hear your voice again. I miss that so much. Mom is doing ok today. Still in some pain but I am doing better. Each day is getting better too. I am sure that in a couple days I will be back to my old self again...whatever that means these days. I have called on you quite a bit to help me out. I hope you don't mind. I will continue to ask for your help along with all the other Angels. Thank you for all that you are doing for Mom. It means a lot to me & I really appreciate it.
Spoke to Aunt Becky & Grandpa this week. All is well with all them. John is having his double knee replacement surgery next week... October 17th. I know that you will be watching over him as he is having it done. He is nervous but it will be over in no time & he will be so happy that he had it done! Watch over Aunt Becky as she will be caring for him during his recovery too. Thanks Ty! I know you watch over us all every chance you get. I know you are never too far away from Mom, Mark, & our whole family & friends. That gives me so much comfort. Just wanted you to know this!
Wedding plans are coming together. We are 2 1/2 months out. Boy is it getting really real for Mark & Mom..lol! Got my veil in the mail today & I go to David's Bridal on Sunday for the wedding dress. It is all coming together slowly but surely. I hope the weather will be good so that all our guests can come. I hope for a little snow ( big flakes ) for the Winter Wonderland Theme, but nothing like a big storm. Can you make that happen for us Ty? If it does I know it is you = ]
Got a couple of daily prayers for you so let me get started with them. October 6~ For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare & not for harm, to give you a future with hope. O' Lord, what a comfort to know that on days when I'm frustrated & struggling to make decisions about the best use of my time, you already have a plan! Go over my " to do " list, & mark out those things I don't really need to do because they aren't a part of your plan for me. Then add anything important I may have overlooked. Teach me to trust in you, Lord, & to leave my future in your capable hands whether it is for the rest of my day or my eternal existence. Mine is a future filled with hope, & for that I am grateful beyond words. A hopeful heart inquires, " God, what are you going to do next? " I think this prayer is for me! Since you passed Tyler I have so many off days & days where I want to do nothing. I can't make any decisions at all. This prayer puts some things in perspective for Mom. Most days I leave it in all of God's hands. I know between him, you & the Angels I am very well protected & I will be just fine.
October 7~May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; & may your spirit & soul & body be kept sound. Lord, help me quiet the noise of life long enough to find in that sacred silence a peace that knows no end. With all the clutter of daily life, I need all the solitude I can get to renew & refresh my spirit after a long, busy day. Your peace is the center that I can return to time & time again---a place I can rest awhile & let the concerns & worries melt away. Guide me to this place of peace within me now. Amen. The Lord hath spoken peace to my soul. Every day I ask for this & every day I get closer to it. Thank you Lord for all that you do for me on a daily basis. I am forever grateful.
October 8~I will seek the lost, & I will bring back the strayed, & I will bind up the injured, & I will strengthen the weak. God, please forgive those in the world who do not know what they do. Their hearts have grown cold as stone, & they have no love for themselves or for others. I pray for them--- these people who do harm to others--that they may somehow find hope & see the light again & that even as they sin & sin again, that they will repent. No human is a waste of life, & I ask that their hearts be melted by the light of your love & compassion & that your mercy & your forgiveness set them free.God's loving & forgiving spirit is available to all his children. Well... I don't ever say a pray for these people but after I have read this prayer I will start. I do however pray for the enemies that I have & the ones that I don't know about. Learned something new from this today.
I can't believe that it is already 5:30pm. I need to start making dinner in a few minutes. The weather here today has been crazy. Sunny, rain, rain with the sun shining..no rainbow though that I could see. I was looking! Anyways.. I hope to see the moon tonight as it is suppose to be blood red for 1 hour. Guess it is called the Blood Moon. It would be neat to see. I will also look to the stars to see them shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you hear me every night. Hope you listen out for Mom to talk to you. I hope you have a wonderful, restful & peaceful night Tyler. Sweet dreams my precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I miss you so much!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Make sure to stop & see Debbie tomorrow as it is her Birthday!!!! Just don't scare her...lol = ]
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? I am sure that you are doing so well. I bet you are smiling where ever you are & what ever you are doing. I bet that it is super important as well. Wish I could see that smile one more time & hear your voice again. I miss that so much. Mom is doing ok today. Still in some pain but I am doing better. Each day is getting better too. I am sure that in a couple days I will be back to my old self again...whatever that means these days. I have called on you quite a bit to help me out. I hope you don't mind. I will continue to ask for your help along with all the other Angels. Thank you for all that you are doing for Mom. It means a lot to me & I really appreciate it.
Spoke to Aunt Becky & Grandpa this week. All is well with all them. John is having his double knee replacement surgery next week... October 17th. I know that you will be watching over him as he is having it done. He is nervous but it will be over in no time & he will be so happy that he had it done! Watch over Aunt Becky as she will be caring for him during his recovery too. Thanks Ty! I know you watch over us all every chance you get. I know you are never too far away from Mom, Mark, & our whole family & friends. That gives me so much comfort. Just wanted you to know this!
Wedding plans are coming together. We are 2 1/2 months out. Boy is it getting really real for Mark & Mom..lol! Got my veil in the mail today & I go to David's Bridal on Sunday for the wedding dress. It is all coming together slowly but surely. I hope the weather will be good so that all our guests can come. I hope for a little snow ( big flakes ) for the Winter Wonderland Theme, but nothing like a big storm. Can you make that happen for us Ty? If it does I know it is you = ]
Got a couple of daily prayers for you so let me get started with them. October 6~ For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare & not for harm, to give you a future with hope. O' Lord, what a comfort to know that on days when I'm frustrated & struggling to make decisions about the best use of my time, you already have a plan! Go over my " to do " list, & mark out those things I don't really need to do because they aren't a part of your plan for me. Then add anything important I may have overlooked. Teach me to trust in you, Lord, & to leave my future in your capable hands whether it is for the rest of my day or my eternal existence. Mine is a future filled with hope, & for that I am grateful beyond words. A hopeful heart inquires, " God, what are you going to do next? " I think this prayer is for me! Since you passed Tyler I have so many off days & days where I want to do nothing. I can't make any decisions at all. This prayer puts some things in perspective for Mom. Most days I leave it in all of God's hands. I know between him, you & the Angels I am very well protected & I will be just fine.
October 7~May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; & may your spirit & soul & body be kept sound. Lord, help me quiet the noise of life long enough to find in that sacred silence a peace that knows no end. With all the clutter of daily life, I need all the solitude I can get to renew & refresh my spirit after a long, busy day. Your peace is the center that I can return to time & time again---a place I can rest awhile & let the concerns & worries melt away. Guide me to this place of peace within me now. Amen. The Lord hath spoken peace to my soul. Every day I ask for this & every day I get closer to it. Thank you Lord for all that you do for me on a daily basis. I am forever grateful.
October 8~I will seek the lost, & I will bring back the strayed, & I will bind up the injured, & I will strengthen the weak. God, please forgive those in the world who do not know what they do. Their hearts have grown cold as stone, & they have no love for themselves or for others. I pray for them--- these people who do harm to others--that they may somehow find hope & see the light again & that even as they sin & sin again, that they will repent. No human is a waste of life, & I ask that their hearts be melted by the light of your love & compassion & that your mercy & your forgiveness set them free.God's loving & forgiving spirit is available to all his children. Well... I don't ever say a pray for these people but after I have read this prayer I will start. I do however pray for the enemies that I have & the ones that I don't know about. Learned something new from this today.
I can't believe that it is already 5:30pm. I need to start making dinner in a few minutes. The weather here today has been crazy. Sunny, rain, rain with the sun shining..no rainbow though that I could see. I was looking! Anyways.. I hope to see the moon tonight as it is suppose to be blood red for 1 hour. Guess it is called the Blood Moon. It would be neat to see. I will also look to the stars to see them shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you hear me every night. Hope you listen out for Mom to talk to you. I hope you have a wonderful, restful & peaceful night Tyler. Sweet dreams my precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I miss you so much!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Make sure to stop & see Debbie tomorrow as it is her Birthday!!!! Just don't scare her...lol = ]
Sunday, October 5, 2014
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