Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? It is All Hallows Eve... the night of tricking for most young folks. I can't believe that this will be the 2nd Halloween without you. Makes me so sad. It is just not the same without you. Nothing is anymore. My whole like changed when you left. Sure I have things to be grateful for & to be blessed with still, but everything is just so different. Days are longer because I can keep busy, & most nights go by fast whether I can sleep or not. I am not the same person as I once was. I never will be again either. People change when they lose loved ones..especially Mommies. I do my best but sometimes my best doesn't feel good enough. I try like hell but sometimes nothing feels right. I will continue to get through it all. You are always on my mind...every second of every minute of every day. Just want you to know this.
 I am doing better today than I was doing the last couple days. October has been a rough month for Mark & Mom. We both have been quite sick & hopefully it will all be out of our systems so that we can look forward to November & December. I have asked for you to take care of us & to watch over us. Thank you for all that you have done. I need you still. I will always need you, Ty!
 The weather here is still very warm. It has been around 86 degrees & in the 60's at night. Not complaining as the North East could be looking at snow in the next couple days. Not sure they are ready for that but they better be. The Farmer's Almanic states they are in for another rough winter...just like last year! Better them then me. I miss having the 4 seasons but I don't miss the snow. So many years being in it was enough for me! I just worry about our family & friends. The weather should be cooling off in the next couple weeks. It will be a nice change. We have a very hot summer.
 Not much else is really new for me. Mark is working a lot & looking into some possible other jobs. One will keep us here in Texas & one may bring us closer to NH. I am hoping that something good can come out of it. It would be nice to get closer to family & friends again even if that does mean the winter & snow. It would be worth it in the long run! If there is anything that you can do on your side to help us that would be super! Thanks Tyler!
 Haven't heard from Meme or Grandpa lately or Aunt Becky either. I guess no news is good news though! I know you are watching over them as well so I am not worried  = ] I know I have a couple of daily prayers for you so I want to start them now.
 October 28~ To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life & peace. O Lord, you are so good to me. What a gift it is that when I first bow my head to ask you to quiet my spirit & give me peace, you are already at work doing just that! Somehow, knowing I am in your presence, the issues & situations that seemed particularly difficult just a short time ago lose importance----especially when seen in the light of the peace you always have to offer. Thank you, Lord, that I can come to you in such a frazzled state & lift my head after praying, restored by your peace. You are so good. Yes, thank you, Lord for all that you do for me, my family, my friends, & my pets. I need you in my life to make things well. I ask you daily to be in my life. Thank you for all the help, guidance, & blessings that you give me each & every day!
 October 29~Humble yourselves before the Lord, & he will exalt you. God in heaven, you are my hope from above, and you alone can lift my spirits & make me see that behind the clouds there is still a sun shining strong & bright. I am having a tough time believing in myself right now, & I ask that you bear me up on the wings of eagles & carry me away from the heaviness of my burdens for just a little while. In prayer, I feel the promise of your peace, & I know that hope is still there waiting to break through the clouds & shine into my life again. God & God alone gives us hope when there seems no end to our suffering. I need your help daily. I ask for your help daily. I am thankful for all that you do for me daily. 
 October 30~ Come to me, all you that are weary & are carrying heavy burdens, & I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, & learn from me; for I am gentle & humble in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. Dear God, I pray today that you will always be by my side like a best friend or constant companion., walking with me throughout my life. I pray that I can always turn to you with my troubles & talk to you about my concerns, for I know that you will never turn away from me. I pray that I can always count on your love to lift me up when the weight of the world drags me down. I pray with a humble heart & in the name of Jesus. Amen. Life becomes much easier when we know we are never alone. Yes again, thank you for being with me in the darkest times of my life. I know it is because of you that I can make it through. 
 It is that time of the evening when I need to get dinner going & then do dishes & later walk Snickers. I have already seen the moon in the sky so I know it will be shining brightly this evening when the sun sets. I will look for the stars too. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for Mom. I hope that your evening is all that you need it to be. I hope that you are happy, & peaceful & smiling that smile that I loved & miss so much now. Sweet dreams my precious son. Forever you will be in my heart, mind, & soul. I miss you & love you so much!
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!