Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is up in the loft right now writing to you & looking out at the dark evening sky. I am seeing some stars shining brightly so that has put a big smile on my face. I am staring out the window & wondering where you are right now & what are you doing? I know wherever you are & whatever you are doing I am sure you are smiling that wide grin that you had & are so happy! Mom is having a pretty rough time right now as I think that you already know. Tough times ahead for me but I know that in time I will be for the best. Can you please be with Mom. I really need you pumpkin. I wish you were here with me. I really could use a Tyler pep talk. I could use your advice on what I should do. God knows just how much I miss you. It used to be that we had each other no matter what & now I don't really have anyone. I am completely alone & boy do I feel it too. It sucks. I hate it. If only I could hear your voice again....
 Tomorrow is the day that John goes in for his surgery. I tried calling Aunt Becky to chat with her& to give my well wishes to John but no luck. I had to leave a message for them both. They either got it later this evening or will get it when they get home in 3 days. I know you will be watching over him as he is in surgery & watching over your Aunt so that she knows she can do this & everything will be ok. I just spoke to Grandpa. He is doing well. Working a lot still & he seems to be enjoying it. Debbie is doing good too. She was in bed sleeping so I didn't get to chat with her. I told Grandpa that I would call him back tomorrow when it was an earlier time. Watch over us all Ty. We all need you in our lives still in so many different ways. Thank you!
 Here are the daily prayers for the last 2 days. October 15~ Keep the straight path of your feet, all your ways will be sure. O God, I cried, no dark disguise can e'er hereafter hide from me thy radiant identity! Thou canst not move across the grass But quick my eyes will see Thee pass, Nor speak, however silently, But my hushed voice will answer Thee. I know the path that tells Thy way Through the cool eve of every day; God, I can push the grass apart And lay my finger on Thy heart! I am trying daily to keep the path for myself. I need to more than ever now that there is a big change upon me.
 October 16~Jesus said to his disciples, " Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Dear Lord, when I need you, I will call your name & you are with me. You will never leave my side. You know my every desire & want before I know them myself. My faith in you is steadfast. As long as I continue to trust in you, my future is secure & no bad thing can overcome me. I ask that you watch over me as you have always done, all the days of my life. I will always need you in my life. Thank you God for all you do for me. Thank you for all my blessings daily. Amen.
 Mom just finished up talking Snickers for a walk. The weather is just so beautiful. The evening sky was dark & the stars where shining. No moon but that is ok. I kept looking up & smiled because I was thinking of you. I love you so much my sweet precious son. Nothing will ever change that. I will be whispering to you later so be listening out for your Mom. I hope you have a wonderful night. Sweet dreams. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!