Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Saturday afternoon? I hope that it is just as warm & sunny where you are as it is where I am. It is just a beautiful day... sunny & 75 degrees. The sky is not as blue..a bit cloudy but that is fine. I am taking advantage of the warmer weather because in a couple weeks we will be heading to NH.. which will seem like the North Pole to us now..lol! I can't believe that we will be spending Christmas with our family this year & then getting married 2 days later. It is all happening in 28 days! I can't believe how time is flying by. I wonder all the time what it is like for you where there is no concept of time. To us it is days, weeks, or years before we get reunited again but to you & all other Angels it is just a matter of seconds. When I think about it it just blows my mind. I can't really grasp it at all. I miss you so much but like I have said all the time in my letters to you is that I know your time here was fulfilled, you finished your purpose on this earth & you were ready for more things in the future. Now you are content, happy & learning all kinds of things for all the next adventures that will happen for you in the future. It makes me happy to know that you are no longer in pain, no more limitations for yourself & being faced with it daily, no more spending countless hours at doctors visits, or stays in the hospitals. No more of that at all. No more of being scared about the ventilator not working, or power going out. The list goes on & on. With all that being said... I just miss your face, your smile, your voice, your laugh, our talks. Sometimes I look at your pictures I have in frames & I smile & think you are on vacation somewhere & you just can't call me to say hello, & other times I look at them & remember that you are not coming back. You have left this world & are now watching over me. Those are the times that are super difficult for Mom. Those are the times I break down & just cry the biggest tears. I used to have those kinds of days most of the time. Now they are a couple days a week. I am getting better. Just not completely there, but I don't think I really ever will be. I used to do this blog daily & then it turned to every other day & sometimes every 3 days. I know you don't mind & you can see me & understand why when I don't but I think psychologically I need to start doing it either every day or every other. It makes me happier & closer to you & that is what matters to me & what I need. 
 I have our daily prayer all set to type out so let me start that before I forget. November 29~ Indeed, you are my lamp, O Lord, the Lord lightens my darkness. Heavenly Father, I come to you to beg for guidance. I'm at the end of my human understanding, & I don't know which way to turn, other than to turn to you. Please place your hand on me & give me the wisdom to make the right choices. I am lost & scared, & I need you to help me find my way again. Shine on my path so that I can see the pitfalls ahead, & light my way so that I can walk safely. This prayer is a little more fitting in my life right now..more than ever! There are a few decisions that Mark & I need to make in our lives that we are so unsure of. There are pros & cons to everything & we are trying to way it all out. We are looking to the Lord for guidance to which direction we should be taking & best to suit our needs. I know with his help everything will be ok. Please Lord, help us find the right choices for us. We need your guidance. Thank you. Amen.
 I hope you have a wonderful rest of the afternoon before the sun sets in 2 1/2 hours. May you be flying high & freely Tyler. I hope that the night will be peaceful & restful for you. I will be looking to the sky this evening to see the moon & stars shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do. Sweet dreams my precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!