Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? Today was such a hard day for Mom. It is June 10th. I know you won't remember this as you were too young but today, 22 years ago was the day you got sick. It was the start of the living nightmare that we were about to take. You woke up screaming & crying that your back hurt. You had to go potty but you couldn't. Mom & Dad took you to the ER for you to be looked at & spent hours there & then they told us to take you to DHMC to be seen. You went into a room on the CHAD floor for awhile & then they put you into the PICU just in case. We stayed with you until 2 am the next morning & the doctors told us to go get sleep. We told you that we would be back in a few short hours. We never got a call during those hours so we thought no news is good news.. we were wrong. When we got back a few hours later the doctors prepped us for the worse. You have coded during the night & they had to intubate you. You were so tiny with so many tubes coming out of you. I think I cried for days because I didn't know what was going to happen. You stayed at DHMC in the PICU for 7 months. Mom & Dad were right with you every step of the way. You were never alone, well just for 6 hours at night time to sleep. This day is etched in my brain for the rest of my life. I can't escape the details, the pain, the heartache that came with it all. You were so brave. You surpassed all that the doctors said you wouldn't. You were and still are my HERO. If I was given the chance I would do it all again for you. I miss you so much & I love being your Mom. I know that you are at peace now. I know that you are happier with not having to worry so much or deal with all the limitations you had to on a daily basis. I completely understand. I know that 1 day we will be together again, for eternity this time. No one will ever be able to separate us. I know that I have more years here in the physical world but I look forward to that day of us reuniting. I will grab you & hug you & never let you go! My love for you is so unconditional still. You will forever be my everything. 
 The weather here today was sunny & warm. Such a nice change from all the rain we have been getting lately. When I took the pups for a couple walks today I looked to the sky to feel the sun on my face & I thought of you. I smiled & held back the tears. The night sky should be clear so maybe just maybe the stars will be out for Mom to see. As I type this I am looking out the window & I see nothing yet. It is going on 9 pm & the sky is not yet completely dark but it will be shortly. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for Mom's voice tonight. 
 No new updates for Mom to write to you tonight. Things are pretty quiet. Spoke to Meme & Bean today. Things are good. mark liked his 3rd day at his new job. I dislike the commute as it is pretty long for him. I worry about him but I know you watch over him for Mom. Thank you. I know you watch over us all. Thank you again. Mom took another test for school & did another lesson. I will be taking a test tomorrow too. I am on Lesson 26 now. I think there are 50 something total so I am over 1/2 way done. Still have a 96 & 4.0 GPA ~ Deans List. I am pretty proud of myself. I hope that I can continue to do this. It would be nice to graduate with Honors.
 I will write to you the daily prayers in tomorrows letter. My eyes hurt from looking at a computer all day & I am starting to get really tired. I know you understand. I miss you, Tyler. We went through so much together. We gave each other strength when we were weak. We had our share of fights but again I would do it in a heart beat. I love you with all that I have. You will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul. 
 I hope you have a peaceful night tonight. May it be all you want it to be & need it to be. I hope you are continuing to fly high & fly free. May you have the sweetest dreams & may I see you in my own tonight when I lay my head down to rest. 
 Tyler, My sweet precious son... remember forever that you will always be " My Wind Beneath My Wings . " 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!