Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Friday night? Mom has had a rough couple of days as I am sure you have seen what I am talking about. I don't know what is going on, Ty. I am so miserable lately. I guess I am just so tired of being treated the way that I have been & I hate the fact that I feel so alone lately. I know that you see all & you see 1st hand why I feel the way I do without having to go into detail. I am just so sad. Maybe part of it is because of what is coming up next week... I don't know. It hurts me to have to go back to that dark nightmare of when you passed away. It crushes me every day but crushes me even more when it is the anniversary of your passing, your birthday & holidays. I am also hurting because of the way I am being treated at home. I am a human being. I am trying to do so much that I am wearing myself out with school every day, full time & doing all the cooking, cleaning, & caring for the dogs. I just don't seem appreciated at all. I am told I am suppose to deal with it & the new job, & the weird hours. I don't mind being alone but I seem to be alone more than being around anyone. Mark just does not get it. I have spoken to him about this so many times but I get no where. He doesn't seem to care about my feelings or why I feel the way I do. It just is not fair. I am just so confused & I don't know what to do about it. I wish I could talk to you. I miss your advice that you would give Mom. I miss your voice. I just miss you...period! I just reread what I have written & I should not have said what I did. This is the place I write my letters to you.. not air Mom's dirty laundry. I am so sorry. I will not do this again. Anyways....
 Not much is new at all. I have not spoken to anyone in the last couple days. I guess as the saying goes..no news is good news, right? I just assume that if I don't hear from anyone that all is well. Mom has just been extremely busy with school work. It is getting really hard for Mom now. The lessons are longer & are taking Mom longer to do. I am sort of getting used to things now, but I know I have a long way to go that is for sure. I am still keeping my grades up with a 4.0 GPA so that makes me happy. I am 48% done with the course. I just did Test 19 & I have 16 more to go before I am finished. I think you would be proud of Mom..at least I hope you are proud of me. The pups are doing well. They are sleeping next to me while I write to you. Ozzy is getting big. I hope his chewing stops really soon. It is crazy just how much he bites. I won't miss that at all when he gets bigger..lol. Princess is just a sweet, gentle, loving dog as long as she doesn't see anyone or another dog.. then she goes crazy & barks so loud. I hope to get her to grow out of it. She just needs to be more socialized with animals & people. She hasn't had that in 8 years. She is doing good though for being with us for only 3 months. 
 I guess I should write the daily prayers to you as I have to play catch up yet again. Here they are. June 10~ And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you. All our opportunities, abilities, and resources come from God. They are given to us to hold in sacred trust for him. Cooperating with God will permit us to generously pass on to others some of the many blessings from the rich storehouse.
 June 11~ He discovereth deep things out of darkness, & bringeth out to light the shadow of death. Teach us to know, God, that it is exactly at this point of our deepest despair that you are closest. For all those times we can finally admit we have wandered in the dark, without a clue. Yet you have been there with us all along. Thank you for your abiding presence.
 June 12~ Look upon mine affliction & my pain; & forgive all my sins. Lord, today I pray for all those who are suffering from any sort of addiction. Whether it's drugs, gambling, overeating, or compulsive exercising, Lord, addiction keeps them from being the people you designed them to be. Their obsession separates them from you & walls them off from their loved ones as well. Break through & release them from their chains, Lord. Give them the strength to put their troubles behind them & find new life in you.
 Ok... again I am caught back up. I am so sorry for not keeping up better. Mom is on the computer all day long every day doing school work that when I am done for the day I have a hard time going back to it. I think what I need to do is write your letter in the morning so that I do this 1st & then start my day of school. This way when I am done I can just shut things down & know I already wrote to you. Anyways... the night sky is upon us now. It is 9:30 pm and the sky is cloudy. I am not seeing anything shining in the sky but I know you are shining your brightest somewhere wherever you may be. I will whisper to you as I always do every night so listen out for Mom. I miss you so much. I love you way beyond the moon & stars. 
 I hope you have a wonderful night. Do all that you need & want to. If you rest & have a chance to close your eyes Mom hopes you have sweet dreams. I hope that if I get some rest I will see you in my own dreams too. 
 Tyler, you will always be forever in my heart, mind, & soul my sweet precious son. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!