Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing today on this Monday? It sure in hell is a Monday. Mom, as you can see has not had a great day at all  it seems to be getting worse.... no details as you have seen it all & heard it all. Mom is just tired of all the crap that is going on...doesn't seem to get any better just worse. No one sees what it is like for me. No one in general sees what happens behind closed doors, ya know? You can see it now though & I can imagine that you are not happy or smiling at all. I am so sorry, Ty. I wish that things were different, I really do but I am so tired of everything being all my fault. I hear the same stuff over & over again all the time & I am just plain tired of it. One would get tired after awhile of it & that is where Mom is at right now. I didn't ask for any of this, I didn't sign up for any of this either. What a mess, huh? Yup...it is. Anyways... let me change the subject.
 Mom spoke to Auntie Kristina today but that was it. She is doing ok. She has her own set of problems, ya know? I wish that her medical stuff would just disappear for her as she is always in so much pain. Makes Mom sad to watch her be this way. Everyone in the family is doing well. I will touch base with a couple more tomorrow. Hopefully I will have some updates for you then. I know you are watching over us as you always do. Thank you my sweet precious son. It means the world to me & our family & friends. 
 The weather today was suppose to be sunny & nice & it was nothing of that. It was cloudy, windy & cold. We even got snow today. Ozzy & princess went out in it. It was Ozzy's first time walking in it & it was cute. He was trying to eat & catch the snowflakes in his mouth. Princess did good too. Now that the weather is changing we have to take shorter walks a few times a day because they will get to cold. That is alright by Mom as it is too cold for me too..lol. I am sure that I won't be seeing anything in the sky that will be shining bright but Mom will whisper to you as I always do so hopefully you will be listening out for my voice. Hope you smile when you hear Mom. I smile when I see your pictures & when I remember your voice & your smile. How I wish you were here. I miss you so much. I could sure use a Tyler pep talk. I love you my sweet son. To the moon & back & all the way around the world.
 Here is the daily prayer for today. January 4~ Gracious & healing God, thank you for everything you have done for me in the past. You have restored me in unexpected ways & I will never be the same. Thank you for being with me in the present & for the bright future you have planned for me. I pray for those who don't know you yet, who don't understand how you bless them again & again. I will share the gratitude I feel, that others may grow to know you & your power. In the name of Jesus, who healed the sick & made the lame to walk, I pray. Amen.
 Mom hopes that your night is restful & peaceful. May you do all that you need to & want to tonight. Hope you get the chance to rest. May you have sweet dreams. Come see Mom in her dreams tonight when I fall asleep. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. That will never change. You are forever Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!