Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. Happy New Year to you in the Heavens above. It is officially 2016. Another new year & a new beginning for us all. Leave the past in past & move forward. I am not sure if you celebrate it or not where you are as there is no concept of time there but I still wanted to wish you one anyways. Today has been a pretty mellow day for us here. Got a few things done that we were putting off for days, took the pups for a small walk as it was really too cold for them & the rest of the day has been just relaxing & really doing nothing. Tonight we will have dinner & probably just watch a little tv & then go to bed. The left side of my face is really hurting again. I have been using my heating pillow & that is helping but boy do I need Aunt Beck's help again. Anything that you can do for Mom as well would be great for me. Thanks pumpkin. 
 All the decorations are put away for another year. The apartment is cleaned & back to normal yet again. I love the holiday season but it is nice to just go back to the regular months with no decorations. Mom used to decorate like crazy for you as you used to love it but not anymore. Can't seem to do it. It really just hurts so much. Mom tries on a daily basis but sometimes I think that I am not doing a good enough job. More times I feel that I am going backwards instead of forward. I need your help, I need signs from you. I am not sure if you are giving them to me & I am just not seeing them or if it is something else. I want to be more aware of you being around Mom. Please help me with this. Thank you.
 This coming week I believe that I will be getting the stuff together & will be studying my butt off for this certification test, taking the test & hopefully passing it & then being on the look out for employment. I know that you will be with Mom every step of the way as I know you want me to do well & succeed. Mom won't have much time to do anything else though, just my letter to you & relax for a couple hours during the night. Back to the grind but it will be good & i look forward to it! 
 here is the daily prayer for January 1~ It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The calendar is as bare as the Christmas tree. The page of tomorrow is clean & ready. may God bless the new Year that beckons. may we face what we must, celebrate every triumph we can, & make the changes we need. And now let us celebrate to the fullest this whistle-blowing, toast-raising moment, for it is the threshold between the old & new us. Amen.
 There is a quote that is going around social media for a couple days now... it says " Tomorrow is the is the first blank page of a 366 page book. Write a good one. "  It is 366 because this is a leap year. How cool is that! I do love the saying though. It is true. Life is what we make it & what we say, how we live. Good one to live by. 
 Mom only has a couple updates for you today. Meme called. Her & Bob are well. Didn't ring in the new year as they never do... they went to bed early...lol. Your dad texted me last night. It really surprised me as I have not heard from him in months. Guess he is doing good. He is in Oklahoma right now for work. Has been there for 5 months now. In a couple weeks he is headed to Minnesota. Guess he is not home with Amy or the kids very much but that is the work he choose. I am sure you are watching over him. Thats all I have for today.
 The evening sky is now upon us & the sky is cloudy. Mom will look later tonight to see if I can see any stars or the moon shining. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you hear Mom. Hope your night is all that you need & want. May it be peaceful & restful for you. If you sleep mom hopes that you have sweet dreams. Come see me in mine tonight when I fall asleep. I miss you so much Ty. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
 You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

PS. Remember Mike Marsh... the one that Mom dated years ago? I am sure you do..well today is his Birthday along with an old respiratory therapist that you used to love at DHMC...Angie. Hope you go & wish them a good day. Just be nice & no scaring them. Love you xoxoxo.