Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? The weather is again sunny & warm with blue skies. I was really surprised last night not to see the stars or moon shining from where we are. Could be just where we are located though. There was not even that great of a sunset so hopefully tonight I will get to see it all. Remember that I will whisper to you later tonight so be listening out for my voice & please smile as I will too. 
 Today has been a sort of relaxing day for Mom. The first half of the day was just lounging around & playing with the pups for a bit, making some lists out that I needed to & also getting stuff set for the weekend. The second part of the day was studying. I managed to read 2 chapters & do all the practiced exercises that went along with them. Now I am ready to take the 1st exam on Monday. All in all not too shabby of a day. I did some things that I needed to do that I was putting off. Time is a ticking & we have 4 1/2 weeks until our vacation. Mom is starting to get all that in order so I don't have to do it all at the last minute. The days go by quite fast when I am studying so I really need to be on top of things so I don't forget anything. These next couple weeks will be busy for Mark as well with work so those weeks will hopefully go by fast too. I spoke to Meme last night & she is really getting nervous about our trip. She is excited to be going but she is not excited about flying. I am not sure on what I can do to ease her mind on this so if there is anything that you can help out with that would be wonderful. Mom could use all the help I can get. Thank you.
 Mom is super excited to be having the reading with Forrest done in a few days. I really hope that you come through. I have so many questions for you. I hope that maybe Amy, Wendy & Holly come through as well as Nana & Pepe again. Mom is wanting to focus on all positive things & not wanting to hear anything negative or any " bad " news. You know me... I am not that way. Some folks like to know ahead of time but for me... I would rather not. Please know this & " spread " the word for Mom. I really just want another amazing reading just like the last one I had. Thanks pumpkin. I will be staying focused & grounded so that I can get all that I need to out of this. I know you will help me in the ways that I need it so that it will be very fulfilling for me. Again, Thank you & mom sure does appreciate it a great deal.
 The Olympics start tonight. They are in Rio this year. I remember when you & Mom would watch the opening ceremonies with all the countries. We enjoyed watching all the events too. So many little things that I miss with you. They all added up to the bigger things. Mom plans on watching the opening ceremonies tonight & I am sure I will shed a tear or two as it is just another reminded that you are no longer here. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. My heart hurts every day & it will for the rest of my life. That will never change. I try so hard to be strong with all this. Some days are still better than others but at times nothing helps me. I really don't know what to do. I am stuck in a rut so to speak. That is one reason I am hoping that you come through so that maybe you can help Mom & guide me to where I need to be. I guess I am doing this because I want & need several validations again. I know that probably sounds bad but it is the truth. It has been 3 years since my last reading & I feel it is just time again. I know I don't have to explain anything to you as you already sense it & you feel it all now. Guess I just need to be honest with myself & write it to you so that I can visually see it ( not to mention so many others can as well. ) This grieving process is so much to take. People say time heals but I say that it never will....this will last a lifetime. All I ask is for you to have the patience with me. I will get out of this rut or this funk. I need to start sleeping better so that I can feel like myself again. I know that is one of my problems. I am hoping that this change can start tonight!
 I still think it is incredible that after 3 years time Mom has still so many followers on here that read my letters to you. It warms my heart to know that I am writing something worth reading. This blog are my letters to you obviously but it is also an open book so to speak. It is my journal on my grieving the loss of you. Instead of doing it in private I chose to do it publicly so that maybe while I was going through all this I could maybe help others along the way. As of today I have followers in United States, France, Germany, Russia, China & United Kingdom...just amazing. Thank you to all who come to my blog & read my letters to my son. I do really hope in a way or many ways I am helping someone else out there. Many blessings to you all. 
 Mom has no updates so I will write the daily prayer for today. August 5~ prove me, O Lord and try me; test my heart & mind. For your steadfast love is before my eyes & I walk in faithfulness to you. Merciful Lord, I do understand the concept of testing. I tie a knot & yank on it to make sure it will hold. I have vivid memories of difficult exams in school that seem to turn my brain inside out & shake it to see what would come out. I don't have a lot of experience with smelting but I know that metal goes into the furnace & it comes out stronger. I get it. Being tested is good for us. But it's still tough to go through. I don't know what kind of test you're putting me through right now but I hope it's over soon. And I hope I'll pass the test & that I will come out of it stronger, wiser & closer to you. But I have to tell you, I'm not sure I'm going to make it. Please, God, help me! [ God ] knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. Amen.
 Wow, Mom can really relate to this prayer tonight. So much is going on & it is the tests that I am being put through. I am a strong person & I know I will get through it all. Time is what it takes & I will conquer it & I will survive it all. I know you also know I will. Anyways.... it is that time of the day where I need to get off the computer & start getting dinner prepped for the night. I hope that later I will see the sunset, the stars & the moon. I look forward to it. Mom hopes that you have an evening filled with so many things that you need & want to do. May you have fun & many adventures along the way. Please come be with me or visit me in my dreams tonight. I would love that. Good night Tyler & sweet dreams. Remember you are in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero, my shining star & the wind beneath my wings. Love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. Until tomorrow.....
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!