Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday morning? Mom is so sorry that I haven't been able to write to you in a few days but you have seen all that has been going through. This weekend was crazy as we had 7 people here but it was a fun time. Friday night, Marion, Charlie & the kids showed up around 7:30 pm. It was an evening of getting pizza & then just chatting & hanging out as everyone was tired. Saturday morning we all got up, got ready & headed to the Aquarium for the day. We had a good time there. Sure brought back so many memories for Mom when we had gone there a couple times together. I loved the seals the most. I got some really good pictures too. I whispered to you throughout the whole day & grabbed my necklace a few times. Hope you heard Mom & you saw me do that. We all came back here to the apartment during the evening & Mom made her homemade lasagna & garlic knots. Later in the evening the kids played video games & watched tv while us adults played a board game called Liars Dice. It was fun & we had a lot of laughs. Sunday morning we got up & Mom's friend, Gary & I made everyone breakfast. That was a riot. OMG.....it was like Hell's Kitchen in here without the fighting or F bombs being thrown. We had a blast cooking & I think everyone had fun watching us & eating the results. Marion, Charlie & the kids left around 4 pm Sunday afternoon. Mom did some cleaning up & then settled down & watch football with Mark & Gary. Our Cowboys were on & it was awesome that they won too! Sunday was an early night to bed as Gary was getting on the road to make his way back home again. Yesterday was a tough day for Mom. I was not feeling well at all. I did some house cleaning & laundry after Gary left & then the rest of the day I basically laid on the couch with Ozzy by Mom's side & just watched tv. I slept a lot yesterday & then went to bed around 10 pm. I slept until 8 am this morning. I know I was extremely tired from everything. We had Gary here with us for 6 nights & then Marion, Charlie & the kids for 2 nights/ 3 days. That is a lot when I am just used to it being Mark & Mom with the pups. I enjoyed every minute of it though. It was so nice to see everyone & Mom sure was sad when they all left. Having friends ( more like family ) over reminded me of the times when we would always have that when we lived in Charlestown, NH. Sometimes, Mom really misses those times a great deal. It seems like it was so long ago though....more than 4 years. So many things these last few days reminded Mom of just how much I miss you. You know I miss you every second of the day but having the kids around this weekend just reminded Mom of when you were that age. Gosh I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you beyond words. I hope you feel that love in your soul all the time. I hope it makes you smile. It does me. 
 Mom does not have any updates for you at all in regards t our family. I did speak to them a couple times while company was here but not too much. I know that everyone is doing fine. We all are enjoying the nice fall weather we are getting now. The sun is shining & the days are cooler. The air is crisp & the leaves are still changing. We know that winter will be approaching very soon....ugh! I can't believe that this weekend will mark the middle of October. Before you know it it will be the holidays again & then a new year! Time is flying by fast. 2017 will mark the 4th year without you. That makes me so sad. Every day is a challenge for me & I know you see it. I try my best.......anyways, Mom is sure to have some updates for you later in the week. I know that I will be speaking to everyone sooner or later. I do however have several daily prayers to catch up on so here they are.....
 October 6~ The Lord is my strength & my shield; in him my heart trusts; so I am helped & my heart exults & with my song I give thanks to him. It is in you, my Lord, that we are made holy, righteous & set apart for service to you. Thank you for taking the initiative to make saints of sinners. And when I think of you delighting in me, I delight in the thought of it. What does your delight look like, I wonder? Mine is full of gratitude toward you & I cannot wait for the day when we can delight in one another face to face. Until then, it is indeed a noble distinction to belong to you. With thankful hearts, O Lord, we come to praise thy name in grateful song. Accept the offering, Lord, we bring, and help us loud thy praises sing. Amen.
 October 7~ Search me O God, & know my heart; test me & know my thoughts; See if there is any wicked ways in me & lead me in the way everlasting. Dear Lord, I want to please you inside & out. I don't want to be like those Pharisees who prided themselves on clean living but had greedy hearts. I want to be motivated by your desires. Let me put away pride & even religious pride. Help me set aside self-centeredness, I want to take pleasure in your pleasure. Scour my heart so it sparkles before your holy gaze. Woe to you, scribes & Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup & of the plate, but inside they are full of greed & self-indulgence......First clean the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may become clean. Amen.
 October 8~ O Lord, I love the house in which you dwell & the place where your glory abides. Reading this verse, heavenly Father, I immediately think of church buildings & I rejoice in the wonderful moments I've had in the gathering of believers. But then I realize that this is not your only dwelling I'm sure the psalmist was thinking of the tabernacle or temple but the New Testament announces that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, Your glory abides in me! So I'll still savor the time spent in your presence with the community of faith but I also love the hours we share together, you & I, when you whisper that you are close beside & even inside , me. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God & that you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body. Amen.
 October 9~ Why are you cast down, O my soul & why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help & my God. As you know, O God, I get downhearted sometimes. Things start going badly & of course my spirits sag. I love the fact that you remain with me in these troubled times. You understand my emotions because you made them. You've also felt sorrow yourself. I feel that you truly grasp what I'm going through & that's a comfort to me. This gives me hope. When the tears are spent, when the bad mood has run its course & when I'm ready to rejoin the human race, I know you'll be right beside me. My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is;.....My soul continually thinks of it & is bowed down within me, but this I call to mind & therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. Amen.
 October 10~ He will redeem me unharmed from the battle that I wage for many are arrayed against me. Sometimes when I leave my home, heavenly Father, it feels as if I'm going off to war. Other times, my home itself seems like a battleground. People challenge my decisions, they compete with me, they want this or that from me, they disagree on the silliest things & they blame me for everything that goes wrong. And things do go wrong! The wounds I sustain each day are substantial & that's why I come to you today, dear Lord. Please strengthen me. Shield me from destructive criticism. Bolster my feelings against the deflating comments I hear. Give me the confidence I need to do what I'm called to do. I don't need to win this war, my Lord----just survive it. Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good. Amen.
 October 11~ I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin. What can I say, Lord? I have displeased you again & I have no good excuse. I new what was right & I did what was wrong. I wish I could say it will never happen again but I can't. Well, I could say that, but we both know it's a constant struggle. Lord, I am truly, deeply sorry-----I'll try to do better. I beg for your forgiveness & I count on your strength to help me do the right thing in the future. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want but I do the very thing I hate..... Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! Amen.
 Wow... Mom is finally all caught up with the daily prayers that I was behind in. I am so sorry that there were so many but I did want to write them to you. It is now the afternoon & Mom is feeling like crap again. I think I am going to go lay down for a bit to see if that may help me. I will be looking to the night sky later in hopes of seeing a nice sunset, the moon & the stars shining bright. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. Smile & I will too. Mom hopes that your night is filled with many things that you need to do & want to do, along with an adventure or 2 along the way. Come visit me in my dreams tonight as well if you can. I would really love that. Continue to fly high & free, Tyler. Remember you are my true hero, my wind beneath my wings & always in my heart, mind & soul. I miss you & I love you to infinity & beyond. Good night & sweet dreams. Until tomorrow.....
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!