Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? Mom has been pretty busy today. I have been cleaning out the closest in my office & my own closest. Mom is getting rid of things that are too big for me or things that I don't wear anymore. Mom will be donating them all again like I usually do. I have to say it felt good to do some purging of things. I usually do it twice a year...right before Winter & then right before Spring. Mom also cleaned up her office a little too. I rearranged things & did dusting around the apartment. Like I said... Mom has been keeping herself pretty busy today. If I have things to do I don't tend to think as much. As you can see the last week or so has been kind of rough on Mom. It has been an emotional roller coaster ride. I think I have been in every direction that I can. I have been happy, sad, angry. I have been all over the place. I think I am doing better now though. I have had a lot of time to think about things. I have spoken to a friend about some of it....not all. I think that mostly Mom has figured out many things. I have faced things that I have said & done & I am at peace with it all now. I can not take any of it back & some of it I don't want to & never would want to. I have learned some valuable lessons. I have learned a lot about myself. I think that is what life is suppose to be about.... the lessons learned, right? Or at least part of life. Tyler, I want you to know that even though you have seen me sad & emotional, Mom is doing ok. I will be ok. I am sure I have more to learn about many things in the future. 
 Mom is sorry that she didn't write to you yesterday. I was not busy with school or anything like that... Mom was on the phone a lot during the day & I was on line looking at a few things. Mom is planning a party so I was looking at decorations & such. I will fill you in on everything as soon as Mom has more in place. Right now I have the location set & I am working on the guest list. Mom wishes that you could be there. I know you will be just not in the way I want it to be. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. My heart will never be full or complete ever again. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You are my hero, my wind beneath my wings, my life. I hope you always can feel that deep in your soul.
 Mom has just a couple updates for you today. I got to speak to Meme last night. They are doing well. Getting ready for the cold weather.... oh yeah it is snowing in NH right now so its coming! Grandpa called but I didn't get the chance to talk to him so I will call him tonight. Mom received a package in the mail... it was from my friend, Gary... the one who stayed with us for a few days last month. He sent Mom a key chain with your name on it in one of your favorite colors & he also sent me a blanket with the Eiffel Tower on it. It is so warm & soft. I love it for so many reasons... of course because it is the Eiffel Tower but it is & always has been my favorite picture of it. It has a red umbrella on it as well.....do you know what I am talking about? The picture on the blanket is the same as what Forrest told Mom about in my reading. I went back to my notes from him & he had sent me that exact picture. My friend didn't even know that. He might now if he reads this letter to you. Mom had goosebumps when I got that & I have big goosebumps as I am typing this to you. Everything else is going well. Everyone is doing good. Please continue to watch over us all as I know you do. It means a lot to us. Thank you, Tyler.
 Mom has 3 daily prayers to write out so I better get started with them. Here they are: October 23~ I will come praising the mighty deeds of the Lord, God, I will praise your righteousness, yours alone. Holy God, I ask for your righteousness, to fill me, thrill me, captivate me & motivate me. I want a righteousness steeped in your love rather than my own pride. I want a righteous life that emanates a deep sense of gratitude & not a holier-than-thou attitude. This isn't about me being some sort of spiritual giant. It's about you living your life through me. In Jesus' sacred name, I pray. Amen. We don't find righteousness in good behavior. We find good behavior by relying on the righteousness of Christ. Amen.
 October 24~ When the earth totters, with all its inhabitants, it is I who keep its pillars steady. I can almost feel the earth tottering, O God. It's good to know you keep a tight grip on those pillars. Seriously, I worry about what we've done to this planet----polluted air, tainted water, depleted ozone, & melted glaciers. I know I care about the earth too, so I ask you to help me take good care of it. Show me how to protect your creation without worshipping it. Teach me to be a good steward of what you have given us. We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. Amen.
 October 25~ For who in the skies can be compared to the Lord? Who among the heavenly beings is like the Lord? You don't pull punches, do you, heavenly Father? You don't shy away from challenges. The psalmist asks the other nations to put their Gods up against you & there's no contest. No one compares to you. But all of this makes me think about how I relate to those with other beliefs. Should I engage in " trash talk, " insisting my faith is better than theirs? Not if I want to show your love. So please, Lord, help me speak the truth in love, being both wise 7 caring, while being honest about my faith but respectful of others. Always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness & reverence. Amen.
 Mom is all caught up again. It is that time of night now though. The sky is getting dark now by 6 pm. The weather has been cloudy & cold ( only 40 degrees today. ) Mom is not thinking I will see anything shining in the sky tonight but I will still be looking later, I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for my voice. I will smile & I hope you will to. May your evening be all that you need & want it to be. May you have fun while Mom is sleeping tonight. Hope you have an adventure or 2. Come visit me if you can tonight as well. I love it when you do. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. Good night & sweet dreams, Ty. Until tomorrow....I love you.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!