Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Today is Mom's Birthday. I turned 46 years old. My day has been good so far. The weather has been kind of crappy with high winds, rain & cold ( 45 degrees ) temps but all the phone calls, private messages, & Birthday greetings over facebook have made Mom's day & put sunshine in it! First thing this morning I saw your messages saying " Happy Birthday Mom. I love you " from 2012 & 2013. Oh how that made Mom's day but also made me cry. I wish so much that you were here to celebrate it with me. I got your sign letting me know that you were with me. I saw 12:12 pm on the clock. I whispered to you that I loved you....did you hear Mom? I hope so my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You will be happy to know & see that Mark is spoiling me today. I was not expecting anything & bam.... Mark gave Mom 2 dozen long stem red & yellow roses & an emerald & diamond ring not to mention we had lunch at one of my favorite places! Everything today has made Mom smile & I know you are smiling too. I miss you so much though. Having Mother's Day & my Birthday back to back this year is pretty hard on Mom & the emotions are very overwhelming but I am getting through it. I am trying my best! 
 Meme, Bob, Aunt Beck, Auntie Kristina & Bonnie have called me today. We all had nice conversations & it is always nice to hear from them all. I know Grandpa will be calling me this evening as well. I was messaging Aunt Jacqui this morning when she wished me a Happy Birthday. I asked how they were doing. She said that Uncle Dick was being a " stubborn Frenchmen " today because he did not want to go to his Cardiac therapy app't. He needs to go & she was trying to tell him that but he told her she was " nagging. " To say the least he did not go & he went back to bed instead. That makes Mom sad because we all know he needs to go to these. Please watch over them both for us all. Thank you pumpkin! Mom also spoke to a friend of mine that is going through a tough time with his Dad. He & his Mom are the care givers right now while he is losing his battle with cancer. I talk to him quite frequently & the whole thing is just heart breaking. He is in a lot of pain & is really suffering. I know they don't want to lose him but they don't want him to suffer either. I pray for him & hope that he gets the peace he deserves soon. It is tough watching a loved one suffer. Mom knows because that is exactly what I did while caring for you for 23 years. It broke my heart every day but I did all that I did because you were my life. You were my everything. I would do it all again in a heart beat if I could. You will always be my hero & the wind beneath my wings.
 Here is the daily prayer for the day. May 15~ I have calmed & quieted my soul, like a child quieted at its mother's breast; like a child that is quieted is my soul. Holding other people's babies is a treat, heavenly Father, but it's an almost universal reality that a baby is never truly at peace & rest until it is returned to its mother's arms. It's like that with your children. We venture out into the world & go about our business, as if we are handed around from this set of arms to another. It isn't until we can return to your presence---the resting place of our souls----that we feel like a child at its mother's breast---quieted, calmed & able to truly rest. If my soul is disquieted, restless, frustrated & " fussy, " perhaps it is time for me to be quieted in the arms of my God. Amen. 
 Here is the Inner Peace card for today as well: My mind is at peace. A mind at peace, a mind focused on not harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe. 
 Well, Tyler.... it is that time of day again where Mom needs to get going. It is after 5:30 pm & the pups need to be fed along with dinner needs to get prepped for Mark & I. Mom will whisper to you as I always do later this evening. Thank you again for my sign today to let me know you were with me. I hope that your evening tonight will be filled with all the things you want & need to do. Have fun while Mom is sleeping & if you can come visit me in my dreams. Mom would love that. I know I won't see the moon or the stars tonight but I look forward to seeing them for the next several days as it is suppose to be sunny & warm. Hopefully I will see one of your " paintings " again. 
 As Mom was just typing this my office room became lighter.... I turned around & the sun was shining. Thank you! I love you with all my heart & soul. You forever live inside me. Mom will be back tomorrow with another letter so until then.... good night & sweet dreams.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!