Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? It is 3 pm here and the day is dragging on. It hasn't been the best day at all. Mom is really tired and I am irritable. I was not able to get a lot of sleep last night due to Mark snoring all night long. I thought I would though as I went swimming and then for a walk with the pups. I even took a long hot bath as well. I was tired but no luck on my end. Hoping that tonight will be a different story and I actually get some much needed sleep. 
 The weather today is 91 degrees and it is hot and muggy outside. Mom doesn't mind it though. I think it was nice when we took the pups for an afternoon walk. For a little bit I thought we were going to get a pretty good thunderstorm. The clouds were dark gray and the wind was blowing but we ended up with nothing. The weatherman said that the weather we are getting is what we usually get in the month of June. That was interesting to hear! Mom plans on making dinner and then going for a swim tonight. Hopefully that will make me pretty tired. 
 Mark has been on the phone all day long. Mom has been doing all kinds of odd things on her computer, Meme has been watching tv and knitting and Bob is laying down right now. I guess earlier they were sitting outside in the shade and Bob went to get up and he was so wobbly that he almost fell right over. Meme came upstairs to tell me. I told her to call the doctor to see what she said. Meme told me that she was needing to take Bob to go get his INR checked as he hasn't had it done in a month. Mom asked if that was safe to do. Meme responded that she didn't think she had a choice and that she would have to take her chances with everything. Mom is very uncomfortable with that. I am in a non winning situation here. I don't want to say no to Bob and be responsible for something happening to him but on the other hand with all this Covid 19 going around, Bob has not been out in almost 6 weeks and we have no masks or anything for him to wear. Gloves are not going to cut it. I have a hard time with complying to the rules that we have been given and others not caring enough in this household. Mom doesn't want to take a chance and have them leave the house and have the risk of them and all of us getting effected. Meme doesn't seem to understand that. She thinks that Mom is being unreasonable. I called Aunt Beck up to get her advice. She said for Meme to call the doctors to see what they say and take it from there but she agrees with Mom's view on the whole matter. Oh Tyler, Mom doesn't know what to do. I wish I had answers and that I could say that it would be safe for Bob to go out but I don't and I don't know what that would do. If someone became effected with the virus because of that then oops sorry is not a good enough answer. I have heard that one time already when Crotched Mtn said that to me after I lost you. That was not okay and I told them that. I will not be put in that situation again. I have to live every day with that reminder of what they did to you and what was said to me. Never again. It eats at my heart and soul every day for the last 7 years. I am all alone in this and no one else shares my reasoning on this. If it is an emergency situation then Bob will have to be seen but unfortunately he will not be able to come back into the house as the risk is too much. Meme will not be able to go with him either because of it. That wouldn't be Mom saying that, that is the rules of the hospitals. Please help me, Tyler. I need it. I am not ashamed in asking for help. Thank you my sweet precious son.
 Yesterday I told you about my friends Dad, the one who was in the hospital fighting for his life from Covid 19. I received a message at 6:48 pm last night from my friend saying that they lost her Dad at 6:20 pm last night. Royal was a fighter right until the end. It is a very sad situation and Mom is heartbroken for the family. The grieving process can't even be the same seeing how everyone has to do the whole social distancing thing. My friend can't be with her daughters, her granddaughter, her brother and especially her mother who is alone going through all this. Through the 2 weeks they couldn't go see him, sit with him, talk to him, nothing.... they will never see him in his physical form again, never kiss his cheek, tell him they love him, hold his hand....nothing ever again. He has to be cremated because that is what they are doing with all the people that are dying from the virus. No services can be held until all this is over with. All of this is so cruel. This world is cruel right now. Mom is praying day and night for everyone. The doctors, nurses, specialists, post office workers, mail carriers, truck drivers, grocery workers, retail workers, etc.... that are putting their lives at risk to help the rest of us. I wish that everyone could see that this is a very serious matter and it is no joke. We should all have the respect for all the workers that can't stay home to be with their families like we can. We should stay away from the stores, off the roads as much as possible. We should only be going out for essentials that are truly needed and nothing more. That should be like once every couple weeks. That is it. I see and read that people are going out daily just like they did before all this started. That is not okay at all. They are risking their own life along with millions of others. Today it stated that it reached the highest death toll in the Untied States this morning. All this has made it a different world that we live in now. It isn't the same as it was 1.5 months ago and it definitely is not the world that you remember, Ty. I know you see it all unfolding and happening before we do from where you are. I am sure you are all busy helping others out that are in need. If you can, please continue to watch over us all here. we need you. Mom needs you. Thank you pumpkin. 
 I spoke to Grandpa last night. Him and Debbie are doing well. That was nice to hear. I am still calling and reaching out daily to friends and family and doing check ins. I seem to be the only one calling everyone. Other than Aunt Beck and Grandpa and Debbie no one is calling or reaching out to Mom. Things are so slow right now with everything that even my "friends" can't find the time to reach out to say hello and to ask how we are. That speaks big volumes to me. That is something that I won't forget and I won't tolerate at all. They are not my friends at all. I won't call them my friends. I am tired and done listening to their excuses to why they don't call, text, message or simply reach out to say hello. Nope no more. I have no time for any of them. I am too busy for them all now and going forward. I know some might say that I am overreacting but if they were treated like I was being, then they would have done this a helluva long time ago. I have waited and waited for so long for things to change and I can't anymore. I have to stop hurting from these people. That is not fair to me. I need closure and I won't get it so I have to be the one to just close the doors on them all. Not an easy thing to do but a necessity. I pray that God forgives me. I pray a lot now. I have for many years. No I don't go to church but I believe and I pray. Someday I will go back to church. I mentioned it here that I would like to find one to go to and then all this  Covid 19 happened. All churches are closed at this point so I will have to wait until one opens back up. Mark has agreed to go as well so that is nice. I look forward to the day we can. 
 It is now going on 3:45 pm. Mom needs to get going. I have to close this letter and shut my computer off. I am making dinner tonight for everyone and it will take a bit so I need to get it started. I will light a candle for you, Royal and everyone in Heaven tonight. I will whisper to you later before I go to bed. Smile for me and I will smile for you. Have fun while I get some sleep, Tyler. Thank you for being my bright shining star that lights the sky and my path. It means so much to me. Continue to do great things wherever you are. Fly high, Tyler. I miss you more than words and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live inside my heart, mind, body and soul. Until tomorrow comes...good night and sweet dreams later.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah ❤

PS~ To Michele's family: Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you all during this very difficult time and to Royal, may you R.I.P. now for eternal life and fly high and free with all the Angels above. You will be missed by so many family members and friends. I know you will send them all signs to show that you are never far apart from them all ❤