Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? Mom is doing well... as well as can be that is. It has been quite the busy day for Mom as we are doing all the last minute things because tomorrow we pack the truck & we are off Thursday morning. Can't believe that it is finally here. As I said before it is very bittersweet. I am excited & happy to be able to see our family & friends but I wish you were going to either be with us or I was coming to see you too. I know you will be with us just not the way I want it to be. 
 I do have some more stuff to do before the night is out so this letter will be a quick one. I just didn't want to go a night without writing to you. I know you can see me so I know you know what I will be doing. I know you will understand. 
 The weather today was so nice. I can't believe we are leaving Texas that is 75 degrees & sunny to go to New Hampshire that is cold & only 20 something degrees... what was I thinking???? I took Snicks for a walk this afternoon. It was so cute.. he has made a new friend... her name is Gracie & it is a big long haired cat! Yes.. I did say cat. Nobody would believe me if I told them. I would have to video tape it. It really is cute. He licks her ears, & she does the same in return. She is the mellowest cat I have ever seen. It makes me smile & laugh. Every time it happens I can see you laughing too. I can here you say...awww.. Baby Bear! I hear your voice all the time in my head.. I sure do miss hearing it daily. I miss you so much. I know I say that to you all the time but it is so true. I really do miss you so much. I miss everything. Sometimes I still think that this is a huge nightmare & I will wake up from it. I will then know you are just away & can't bother calling your Mom..just like all the other kids your age does to their parents. I guess playing those games is still what helps me through the days without you. I do try & I am trying hard to understand this all & not question why this all happened. I hope you are proud of Mom. That's all I want to do to help you now. I want you to grow & learn all that you can on the other side. I want everything for you. Always have & always will. Please just know this. 
 Ok... here is the daily prayer for today... December 16~Truly I tell you, unless you change & become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Just as children have faith in their parents to love them & watch over them, I have faith in you, heavenly Father, to always love me too. I look up to you for wisdom & guidance, & I pray to you for patience & understanding. You always come through for me in wondrous ways, providing to me that my faith is well placed. As your beloved child, I feel nourished & protected by your love, & I will always believe in you, Lord, just as you always believe in me. Amen. Keep the Lord close. I do have faith that you love me & always will love me, God. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being by my side helping me, protecting me, & healing me. I ask that you continue to do this for me, my family, my pets, & my friends. Thank you. Amen.
 Tyler, the clock is ticking & it is getting late. Mom has so much to still do. I have to end this letter right now. I will be walking later so I will look to the sky to hopefully see the stars & the moon shining brightly. I will be whispering to you as I always do. Please be listening out for Mom. I love you with all that I have. No words can express it. You will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul.
 I hope you have a peaceful night & it may be all that you need & want it to be. Fly high & free my sweet precious son. Sweet dreams.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!