Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! Merry Christmas to you in Heaven again this year. This is my 2nd one without you. I am doing alright, but it is definitely a Blue Christmas without you & it always will be every year from now on. I just took Snicks out for a short bit & the sky is starting to get blue. Haven't seen that in about 11 days. The sun was even out. I looked to the sky & spoke to you. I hope you could hear Mom. We are getting ready to go see Grandpa for a a little while & then going to Meme's for dinner. I know you will be there with us so I will be looking for some kind of a sign from you. Later this evening I will be seeing Marion, Charlie, & I will be meeting Mark's Dad & Step Mom for the 1st time. I am excited but nervous. I hope they like me.
 The wedding is in 2 days & I think we are finally set. Just need to go get a couple than you cards tomorrow & we are finally finished. The planning for over a year has been complete. Not sure what I will do with myself after all this. It has consumed so much of my time...lol! I am sure that I will keep myself busy with all the new stuff coming up in this new year!
 I wanted to write to you now because I know that the day & evening will be busy & I will be tired as I woke up at 6:30am. I will be stopping by the cemetery this morning to drop off your xmas ornament that Mom bought you. Hope you like it. It has 2 of your favorite colors! I wanted you to know that you will finally be getting your stone & bench soon. It can't be put in now because of the weather but it will be ordered in February & put in the middle of March. I hope you will like it. I think you will... of course it will have Jack & Zero on it! You deserve it. You deserve the best! I love you so much.
 I want to write the daily prayer now for Christmas Day... December 25~ The Lord does not see as mortals do; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. Father in heaven, if ever I feel far from you, I just need to quiet my mind & heart & wait for you to speak---particularly on this special day, during which we celebrate the earthly birth of your beloved Son! You are always with me, but sometimes your voice gets drowned out by the rush of this busy season. Your faithful presence is constant, however & if I look deeply enough, I will find you. And when I do, you are always waiting to welcome me home. Let me return to you again & again, especially today. I pray in the name of my savior, Jesus Christ. Amen. Only when we trust God, do we have peace & assurance in the shelter of his care. I think as we get older we realize that this Christmas Day is not about the gifts but the birth of you, being with family & friends & being able to share & make memories. It is about giving & not receiving. Some folks make this holiday season so commericalized with buying things & trying to " out do " others. It is crazy. I don't need this 1 day to celebrate & get gifts. I get a gift every day when I wake up in the morning. Thank you for this amazing gift... the gift of life. Happy Birthday Jesus. 
 As I am writing this the sun just came out & shined brightly for a few seconds. It was nice to see again. Hope the rain holds off & clears out. Anyways.... I am not sure what you & the Angels do up in heaven on this Christmas Day but I do believe that you celebrate & praise the Lord. I hope that you celebrate well & you are so happy. Give hugs to Nana, Pepe, Aldo, Betty, Larry, Wendy, Lucas, Ron, Rickie, Uncle Keith, & all our other family & friends. Thank you, Tyler.
 My hope for you on this day is that you are smiling & flying high & freely. May it be all that you want & need it to be. This evening I hope it is peaceful & relaxing for you. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. You are my everything. Always was & always will be. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I miss you each & every day. I love you beyond this world that we live in. Hope to see you in my dreams tonight.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!