Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? Happy New Year's Eve to you in Heaven. I can't believe that it will be a new year in just 5 1/2 hours. You know that this is Mom's favorite holiday. Always has been & always will be! It just is not the same with out you here with Mom & our family & friends. Remember all the times that we had company over? All the fun that we had? I sure do miss those times! Tonight, Mark & I will be going to see Marion & Charlie for a couple hours & then we are coming back to the hotel & going to spend the rest of 2014 alone watching the ball drop. Might not be the best way or the funnest way to ring in the new year but it is what we want to do! I wonder what you do up in Heaven? Do you celebrate it or no because there is no concept of time in the spiritual realm? Are you with us celebrating... only we just can't see you? I always wonder. Just know I love you bunches & I miss you so much. I hope that the new year will be what you need it to be, you continue to grow on the other side, & that you continue to be happy. I am hoping that I will continue to understand why all this had to happen, I continue to grow here in the physical world, that I am a good wife to Mark, & I continue to be happy & healthy. Please continue to watch over Mom, Mark & our family & friends. It means so much to me & all of us. 
 I am hoping that the stars & moon will be shining bright this evening. It is super cold outside. Something that we are not used to but I am actually enjoying again. I will regardless whisper to you as I always do. I will wish you a Happy New Year at midnight so I hope you will hear Mom. 
 Here are the 2 daily prayers I missed... December 30~ Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy & find grace to help in the time of need. My Lord, too often we are timid when it comes to bringing our requests before you, but we know that we have complete access to the holy of holies. So embolden us, Lord! Teach us to accept that the grace we have been given is powerful now, not just some day when we are united with you. We boldly lift up prayers to you, asking for justice, righteousness, & peace in our world, Lord. By your grace we humbly ask you to listen & to act. 
 December 31~ We are the clay, & you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. O God you created us, & you know us better than we know ourselves. You also love us more than we love ourselves---more than anyone on this earth loves us. Resting in that truth, I know that it's easier to turn our lives over to you. When we need to be redirected, we trust you to do the redirecting. When we're bent out of shape, we know you will be the one to straighten us out again. And if things ever get so bad that you need to humble us & remold us, even then we place ourselves in your hands. For what you create by your hands is always more magnificent then what we can design ourselves. Thank you, Lord. Amen. For the great is your love, reaching to the heavens. Thank you God for always being with me in my life. For always directing me in the direction that I needed to be in whether I believed it or not. Thank you for all my blessings. Amen.
 May your last night in 2014 be all that you need & want it to be. May you have a peaceful & restful night in the heavens above. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Never forget this. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I hope to see you in my dreams tonight for the last time in 2014. I look forward to all the special signs you will give me in 2015!
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!