Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing? I am so sorry that I was not able to write to you the last 5 nights. It was pretty crazy driving from TX to NH. I know you know everything that took place during those times because I saw the signs from you. Thank you for being there with us. It meant so much to Mom. I was so sad to not be able to write to you as I missed it so much! 
 Things here are good. It is so nice to see Meme, Bob, Marion, & Charlie. Tomorrow I will be seeing Grandpa & Debbie. I miss everyone so much. I miss you terribly. I cried this morning just thinking of you & not being able to see you. My heart hurt so bad. I know you do not like to see Mom cry but I couldn't help it. Please forgive me Tyler. I will do my best so that you will see me smiling. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. 
 I am hoping to do my blog during the morning before we start the day. That way I can be back on track at least while we are here. It will be scattered again when we drive back to TX though so please bare with me. 
 I have so many daily prayers to do so I want to start these right now.... December 19~ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. O lord, I know that true compassion is seeing into the hearts of another & sharing in what they are feeling. Help me be better at doing that, Lord. Give me your insight into what's really going on in their hearts & minds. Still my mind & my agenda, & let me truly be in tune with what the people you've put in my life are feeling. And, Lord, keep me from trying to change or fix things. Help me to simply come alongside them & be happy for them or cry with them. Remind me, always, that showing true compassion is never, never about me or my feelings. You modeled compassion so well for us, Lord. May it be visible in me. Amen. 
 December 20~ Beloved, do not imitate what is evil but imitate what is good. God, of all your precious gifts, love is the rarest & most precious of all. Too often I find myself acting in ways that are unloving & unkind. That is when I most need your love to remind me to stop & take a deep breath. Anger & hatred never solve any problems. Only love seems to make the rough spots smoother & the hard roads easier to walk upon. I ask that you continue to remind me of the power of love each day, especially when it comes so much easier to choose to be unkind. Cooperating with God will permit us to generously pass on to others some of the many blessings from his rich storehouse. Please Lord continue to show me the right way to act towards the ones I love & care about. Thank you. Amen.
 December 21~ Surely goodness & mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, & I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long. Heavenly God, I thank you that even in the depths of my deepest pain, I can still feel your presence & love.Even when all seems bleak & dark, through your holy words, I know that I am never really alone. Because of your Son, Jesus Christ, I am protected for all eternity. This assurance allows me hope, & I am so thankful that I am saved by your mercy & redeemed by your love. Amen. Thank you for always being with me during my darkest times & best times of my life. I need you in my life. I want you in my life always. Amen.
 December 22~Jesus answered her " If you knew the gift of God, & who is that is saying to you, ' Give me a drink, ' you would have asked him, & he would have given you living water. O Lord, how precious is the water that flows down from the mountains to restore our land after a long drought! Thank you for sending the fresh, life-giving water to nourish our lawns, our flowerbeds, & our bodies. Yet, as desirable as that water is, Lord, we know that the living water is, Lord, we know that the living water we receive from you is the most precious of all. Thank you, Lord, for sending your living water to refresh our parched soul. We stand in the rejuvenating stream of you love & grace. 
 December 23~ We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us. Creator God, how wise of you to make us all intriguingly different & to send a variety of gifts into the world through us! How boring it would be if everyone in one church had the gift of preaching, but no one had the gift of hospitality! How ineffective your church would be if no one had the gifts of serving or mercy as well! But by your grace we have different gifts. We thank you for them all, God, & we ask you to forgive us when we don't use them as freely as we should. We are all one in Jesus Christ. Amen!
 I can't believe that Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Bittersweet for Mom again this year. I am going to do my best to get through this holiday. Know that I miss you so much. I hope that you will make your presence known on Christmas Day & on our Wedding Day. 
 The weather is really raining here which is weird. No snow just lots of heavy rain. No stars or moon shining bright for the next several nights but I know you are shining wherever you may be. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you can hear Mom. May you have a restful & peaceful evening. Sweet dreams my precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!