Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Monday early morning? I hope wherever you are it is sunny & warm because it is not where I am. The weather is rainy, cloudy, & pretty cool for this time of the year. I am so sorry for not writing to you over the weekend. I have no excuses for why I didn't. Friday, I did many things & the time got the best of Mom. I actually went to bed quite early too as I was up very early that morning. Saturday, we didn't go any where, Mark & Mom stayed home & did things around the apartment. We ordered dinner out & Mom watched a movie that made me cry my eyes out. I know you saw me. I whispered to you during the movie & after it was over. It reminded Mom of the things I went through personally with cancer & then when I lost you. It was a double whammy. I went to bed not that long after as I was drain physically, emotionally, & mentally. Sunday, I was up at 6 am with the pups. I made breakfast, gave the pups baths, did some laundry, & then we headed out to do errands. Got back & I made dinner & brownies for dessert. We hung up some of our wedding pictures finally. Got done doing that around 8 pm & sat down to watch tv. I had a massive headache so I went to bed around 9 pm. Didn't sleep well last night. Ozzy kept Mom up quite a bit. I was finally getting some rest this morning when I awoke at 7 am & noticed that Mark was still home. I asked what was going on & he told me the devastating news. I will not go into detail on here in my letter as I know that you already know & can see what is going on. Mark is shocked, hurt, & all other kinds of emotions. Mom is just sick to my stomach. I hurt for Mark & I think... well lets just say I think many bad things right now. We have to stay strong & stay together on this. I don't know why this is happening & it just is not fair. Why do we continue to get the sh*t end of the stick all the time? I just don't get it. I am so confused at this time. When I found out the news... I just prayed. I talked to God & asked why? I asked for the help that we will both need. The courage & the strength to get through this. Tyler, not only do we need God's help, the Angels help, we need yours too. Anything that you can do from your side would be appreciated. Thank you pumpkin. Please just be with us & show your signs that you are near. It will help us more than you know. I love you. 
 So on Friday, Mom was super excited as I took the final steps to make things official & become a student again. I made the tuition payment & I was off running. I was to start my classes today. I was so proud of myself, & the decisions that I had made to do this. It is a big step for Mom. I have been out of school for many many years now. I am sad to say that with all that is happening Mom will have to cancel that dream as of right now. The school that I chose does a 5 day money back guarantee & that 5 days are up tomorrow. It sucks but I have to do what is needed right now. I look at it as this was not the right time for Mom & that as you know everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reasons are not told to us right off & sometimes you never get the answers. The only thing we both know at this time is that we will hold our heads up high knowing we did nothing wrong & we will move forward with the help of the Lord above & the help from you, family & friends. 
 Not much has changed with our family. Grandpa had a cold but is doing a lot better now. He miss a couple weeks of work but needed to so he could get better. He had a lot of fluid in his lungs. You know all about that. Debbie is doing fine. Likes her new job but hates the hours they have her working. Meme is doing ok. She is busy with work, taking care of Bob, & now doing paperwork so that Bob can get disability. She slipped & fell last week & did some severe damage to her collar bone & the whole arm & side. She is in a sling right now & on medicine. She says it does not work though & is in a lot of of pain still. Bob is still not well. The doctors keep changing his medicine on him & he is still dizzy all the time & winded. He sleeps a lot too. I know you watch over all our family & friends & I thank you. You always use to say you wished to be in more than 1 place at a time & now you can! 
 I am going to have to cut this letter short now. I need to get going & help Mark out with some things for the day. I know you understand. Lots of things ahead of us again & the unknown is scary. I am not sure what the weather will be like later this evening but I am sure it will be raining. The clouds are pretty thick right now so I don't see any chance of  the sky clearing but who knows. It may later. I hope to see the stars & the moon shining brightly tonight but if not I know you are shining brightly somewhere. I will whisper to you as I always do. Probably a lot today so I hope you can hear Mom's voice & can hear what I say. I miss you so much Tyler. I hate this. Every day I hate this. I try to understand but sometimes I just can't. I try not to question God & the plans that take place but sometimes it is rough. Anyways....
 I hope that your day & your evening is full of the things you like to do now. I hope that you are happy & are having fun. Hope you are learning so many new things & that you are enjoying your travels along the way. I love you so much my sweet precious son. I always will. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. May you have the sweetest dreams this evening, & may Mom see you in mine own tonight when I lay my head down to rest for the night. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!