Thursday, June 30, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is doing the best she can right now. I have had an emotional day as you could see. Mom had a conversation through a message that was just awful. There were many things that were said that were hurtful. I just had a very hard time with it & I shed many of tears thinking back all day to what was said to Mom. I am pretty drained by it & to be honest I am pretty numb. I am feeling nothing. I have always been the person to do my best at everything I do but I guess this time I failed. I have also always been honest. People may not like what I say to them but I won't lie. They can dislike me but one thing they have to do is give me the respect that I deserve for being truthful no matter what. Sometimes the truth hurts & it is painful. It will take some time getting over but I will one of these days. Well enough about that....
The weather today was sure a hot one....it was almost 90 degrees & the sun was just a shining. The skies were blue & no clouds were out. Mom is hoping that I will get to see the stars & the moon shining bright tonight. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. Mom will make sure to find a smile for you so you can see. I love you with all my heart & soul. You are everything to Mom. I miss you like crazy, Tyler. Every day is harder & harder for me instead of it becoming easier & easier to deal with. I am not sure what to do about that but all I know is that I will keep moving forward & hope I make you proud.
Mom spoke to Grandpa last night. All is well with him & Debbie. They are just working a lot & dealing with this thing we call life. Meme & Bob are doing well too. I did not get the chance to chat with Aunt Beck though. I will try my best before the weekend is done. Everyone else in our family is doing well. Some are on vacation in Florida & some are just going about there every day lives. I try to keep in touch with them on a weekly basis. Time just goes by so fast & sometimes I loose track of everything. Mom will definitely have more time after tomorrow as I will be finished my course. I can't believe that it is finally coming to an end! I can't wait. It has been trying most of the time but with you, family & friends by my side I have managed to get through it. Thank you so much my sweet precious son.
Before I finish up for the night...here is the daily prayer for tonight. June 30~ Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are shaking with terror. Terror has been all over the news in recent years, supreme Lord and I admit it affects me too. I find myself worrying about this world but I am especially anxious about the well-being of my loved ones. It's not just terrorism, Lord but health care, finances & aging. What's ahead for us? What will the future bring? Grace. Healing. Your loving touch. Thank you, Lord for the surety of your active presence. Worries are like the raging sea. Let the Lord calm the waters around you. Amen.
It is that time of the night were Mom needs to get going to make dinner & do all the nightly things that need to get done. I hope that you have a night where you get to do all the things you need to & want to. Come visit Mom tonight in my dreams. I hope I sleep better than I did last night though. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Good night, Tyler & sweet dreams. I love you more than words can say. To infinity & beyond.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is doing the best she can right now. I have had an emotional day as you could see. Mom had a conversation through a message that was just awful. There were many things that were said that were hurtful. I just had a very hard time with it & I shed many of tears thinking back all day to what was said to Mom. I am pretty drained by it & to be honest I am pretty numb. I am feeling nothing. I have always been the person to do my best at everything I do but I guess this time I failed. I have also always been honest. People may not like what I say to them but I won't lie. They can dislike me but one thing they have to do is give me the respect that I deserve for being truthful no matter what. Sometimes the truth hurts & it is painful. It will take some time getting over but I will one of these days. Well enough about that....
The weather today was sure a hot one....it was almost 90 degrees & the sun was just a shining. The skies were blue & no clouds were out. Mom is hoping that I will get to see the stars & the moon shining bright tonight. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. Mom will make sure to find a smile for you so you can see. I love you with all my heart & soul. You are everything to Mom. I miss you like crazy, Tyler. Every day is harder & harder for me instead of it becoming easier & easier to deal with. I am not sure what to do about that but all I know is that I will keep moving forward & hope I make you proud.
Mom spoke to Grandpa last night. All is well with him & Debbie. They are just working a lot & dealing with this thing we call life. Meme & Bob are doing well too. I did not get the chance to chat with Aunt Beck though. I will try my best before the weekend is done. Everyone else in our family is doing well. Some are on vacation in Florida & some are just going about there every day lives. I try to keep in touch with them on a weekly basis. Time just goes by so fast & sometimes I loose track of everything. Mom will definitely have more time after tomorrow as I will be finished my course. I can't believe that it is finally coming to an end! I can't wait. It has been trying most of the time but with you, family & friends by my side I have managed to get through it. Thank you so much my sweet precious son.
Before I finish up for the night...here is the daily prayer for tonight. June 30~ Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are shaking with terror. Terror has been all over the news in recent years, supreme Lord and I admit it affects me too. I find myself worrying about this world but I am especially anxious about the well-being of my loved ones. It's not just terrorism, Lord but health care, finances & aging. What's ahead for us? What will the future bring? Grace. Healing. Your loving touch. Thank you, Lord for the surety of your active presence. Worries are like the raging sea. Let the Lord calm the waters around you. Amen.
It is that time of the night were Mom needs to get going to make dinner & do all the nightly things that need to get done. I hope that you have a night where you get to do all the things you need to & want to. Come visit Mom tonight in my dreams. I hope I sleep better than I did last night though. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Good night, Tyler & sweet dreams. I love you more than words can say. To infinity & beyond.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday night? Mom is doing good but boy am I tired. I am sorry that I didn't get the chance to write to you last night. We thought we were going to get a nasty thunderstorm so I didn't want to stay on the computer just in case....go figure we never did get anything. Today we got it though. This afternoon was awful. The thunder & the lightning that we had plus the heavy rain was wild. It lasted for about 20 minutes & then the sun came back out. Mom was in the middle of a test when that was going on. I was hoping & praying that we wouldn't lose the internet so I could finish. I did indeed finish it & I got a 93. The last 6 exams that I have taken have been~ 95, 2 ~ 93's & 3~ 91's. Not too shabby. This Friday I will be taking the last & final exam of this review course. I am hoping to get a good grade so that I will pass & get my certificate. Then it is off to study for the actual CPC Certification & then hunt for a job! I know that you are with Mom every step of the way & that you are helping me through it. This class definitely has been a challenge & has given me many ups & downs but I stuck with it even when I wanted to call it quits. Thank you so much, Tyler for sticking by Mom. I needed you & you came through. I knew you would & I had no doubt in my mind. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you like crazy. Your voice, your laugh, your advice to Mom, your smile. I miss it all. I know you know it... I know you feel it. I just don't ever want you to forget it.
I don't have really any updates for you as I have just been busting my butt to finish this class. I did speak to Meme & Grandpa & Auntie Kristina today. She was wondering where I have been because she hasn't heard from me in 2 weeks. I haven't really spoken to anyone. I just wanted to have the time to do the things I needed to do. I am hoping to touch base with Aunt Beck tomorrow. I am sure to have some more updates for you this weekend as it is a holiday weekend again...July 4th. Mom does have a couple daily prayers to write to you so here they are.
June 28~ Some take pride in chariots & some in horses but our pride is in the name of the Lord our God. I see prideful people all around me, righteous Lord. The " chariots " they boast about are often sports cars. It's not horses they take pride in, but houses. They flaunt their gadgets. They preen in their high-fashion garb. These are all symbols of their power. And yes, Lord sometimes I get caught up in that too, either boasting about what I have or coveting what I don't. But I now renounce all of that. You are the one who made me. You are the one who loves me. You are the one who gives my life meaning. If I ever forget that, forgive me & remind me of the truth. I am your child & that is all I need to boast about. Trust in the Lord with all your heart & do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him & he will make straight your paths. Amen.
June 29~ He made my feet like the feet of a deer & set me secure on the heights. My Lord, how easy it is to slip & fall. One minute I'm riding high, enjoying the blessings of life & suddenly I crash to earth. Sometimes my own pride does me in. Sometimes I forget about you, Lord. Sometimes, like Peter walking on the sea, I pay more attention to the wind & waves than to you. Is there a way to stay up there in those " mountaintops experiences "? But it's not really the " experience " I want to hold unto, it's you. Please stay close to me, Lord, whether I'm feeling high or low. In the heights and in the depths, you are the one I cling to. The psalmist refers to the mountain deer, whose hooves are designed to grip the rocky terrain of Israel's mountains. That's what our faith in Jesus should be like. Amen.
Mom is all caught up yet again. The night sky is going to be upon us faster this evening due to the weather. I think we may be in for another storm as it is getting really dark again. Mom is hoping that you have a restful & peaceful night doing all the things you want to & need to. Come visit me in my dreams tonight when I fall asleep. Mom loves it when you do. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for my voice later tonight. I will smile when I chat with you & hope that you are smiling that beautiful smile I miss so much when you hear my voice. I know there wont be anything shining bright in the sky tonight but I know you are shining bright for someone or many that need it. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet precious son. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow..... I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS Make sure to go visit your brother, Jeremy Irish as it is his Birthday today. I always remember it because it was exactly 1 month from your Birthday xoxoxo.
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday night? Mom is doing good but boy am I tired. I am sorry that I didn't get the chance to write to you last night. We thought we were going to get a nasty thunderstorm so I didn't want to stay on the computer just in case....go figure we never did get anything. Today we got it though. This afternoon was awful. The thunder & the lightning that we had plus the heavy rain was wild. It lasted for about 20 minutes & then the sun came back out. Mom was in the middle of a test when that was going on. I was hoping & praying that we wouldn't lose the internet so I could finish. I did indeed finish it & I got a 93. The last 6 exams that I have taken have been~ 95, 2 ~ 93's & 3~ 91's. Not too shabby. This Friday I will be taking the last & final exam of this review course. I am hoping to get a good grade so that I will pass & get my certificate. Then it is off to study for the actual CPC Certification & then hunt for a job! I know that you are with Mom every step of the way & that you are helping me through it. This class definitely has been a challenge & has given me many ups & downs but I stuck with it even when I wanted to call it quits. Thank you so much, Tyler for sticking by Mom. I needed you & you came through. I knew you would & I had no doubt in my mind. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you like crazy. Your voice, your laugh, your advice to Mom, your smile. I miss it all. I know you know it... I know you feel it. I just don't ever want you to forget it.
I don't have really any updates for you as I have just been busting my butt to finish this class. I did speak to Meme & Grandpa & Auntie Kristina today. She was wondering where I have been because she hasn't heard from me in 2 weeks. I haven't really spoken to anyone. I just wanted to have the time to do the things I needed to do. I am hoping to touch base with Aunt Beck tomorrow. I am sure to have some more updates for you this weekend as it is a holiday weekend again...July 4th. Mom does have a couple daily prayers to write to you so here they are.
June 28~ Some take pride in chariots & some in horses but our pride is in the name of the Lord our God. I see prideful people all around me, righteous Lord. The " chariots " they boast about are often sports cars. It's not horses they take pride in, but houses. They flaunt their gadgets. They preen in their high-fashion garb. These are all symbols of their power. And yes, Lord sometimes I get caught up in that too, either boasting about what I have or coveting what I don't. But I now renounce all of that. You are the one who made me. You are the one who loves me. You are the one who gives my life meaning. If I ever forget that, forgive me & remind me of the truth. I am your child & that is all I need to boast about. Trust in the Lord with all your heart & do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him & he will make straight your paths. Amen.
June 29~ He made my feet like the feet of a deer & set me secure on the heights. My Lord, how easy it is to slip & fall. One minute I'm riding high, enjoying the blessings of life & suddenly I crash to earth. Sometimes my own pride does me in. Sometimes I forget about you, Lord. Sometimes, like Peter walking on the sea, I pay more attention to the wind & waves than to you. Is there a way to stay up there in those " mountaintops experiences "? But it's not really the " experience " I want to hold unto, it's you. Please stay close to me, Lord, whether I'm feeling high or low. In the heights and in the depths, you are the one I cling to. The psalmist refers to the mountain deer, whose hooves are designed to grip the rocky terrain of Israel's mountains. That's what our faith in Jesus should be like. Amen.
Mom is all caught up yet again. The night sky is going to be upon us faster this evening due to the weather. I think we may be in for another storm as it is getting really dark again. Mom is hoping that you have a restful & peaceful night doing all the things you want to & need to. Come visit me in my dreams tonight when I fall asleep. Mom loves it when you do. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for my voice later tonight. I will smile when I chat with you & hope that you are smiling that beautiful smile I miss so much when you hear my voice. I know there wont be anything shining bright in the sky tonight but I know you are shining bright for someone or many that need it. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet precious son. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow..... I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS Make sure to go visit your brother, Jeremy Irish as it is his Birthday today. I always remember it because it was exactly 1 month from your Birthday xoxoxo.
Monday, June 27, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this very hot Monday afternoon? Mom is writing to you now before I loose steam...lol...so to speak. I am quite tired & I am losing energy so I thought I would do this letter to you before I have to go make dinner & do everything else to. I know it will be an early night for me & I don't want to not write to you. Tomorrow will be an early morning for me as I have an exam to do. This is the last week of this course for Mom. When Friday hits I will be finished with it. It has been a roller coaster of 6 weeks but I am confident that I will pass these last 3 exams & get my certificate so I can go & take the big certification exam hopefully next month. It will be right around your Birthday so hopefully that will give me some good luck. I know I will need it.
Before Mom started to write to you I was able to see that in 3 years I have over 25,500 hits on here & that in 1 months time I have had 667 people visit here. It amazes me & I often wonder what I am saying to make so many follow Mom with my letters to you. I have followers right now in the United States, Canada, France, Germany, Russia & Portugal. For everyone who reads my letters to Tyler....thank you from the bottom of my heart. I do this daily ( most of the time ) to help myself with the continued grieving of losing my only child, my son. Blessings to each & every one of you.
Today has been another tough day for Mom. 3 years ago on this day Mom buried you. It was held at your resting place in front of several family members & a few close friends. That is the way Mom wanted it. I wanted it to be personal & not crowded. I hope I made the right decision. I often wonder that. The month of June has never been a favorite for me & it just has so many dates that make Mom emotional. I know you don't like seeing Mom this way but please, Tyler, know that I am alright. I am sad that you are not here with me & I long for you to be here but I know that is not what you want any more so I have to be happy for you. I am....really. I just miss you like crazy. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I love you from infinity & beyond. You took my heart the day you left this world. Be kind & gentle with it as you take care of it for Mom.
I don't have any updates for you as Mom did not talk to anyone at all last night. It was a quiet night as far as not talking on the phone. I will try to contact Aunt Beck later this week to see how they are & everyone else too. I do however have 4 daily prayers that I need to write to you. Here they are.... June 24~ Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace & pursue it. Help me dear Lord, to seek peace. That might mean I have to back down from a fight. It might mean I don't get my way. It might mean that I don't have to be right all the time. I don't have to win. Help me put aside my selfish goals & consider the needs of others. Give me a sense of what you want in every situation. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Amen.
June 25~Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings with loud shouts. I like old songs, almighty God. I know how to sing those. The new ones have a different rhythm. They take my voice to places it isn't used to going. But I sing them anyways because it pleases you. Lord, that wants newness all the time? Why does everything have to be fresh & creative with you? Just when I get used to some sort of pattern in my life, something I can count on, you shake it up with a new challenge, as well as a new blessing. Help me see your hand in the new things I don't yet understand & praise you for making all things----including my life---new & beautiful. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. Amen.
June 26~ For his anger is but for a moment; his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning. When bad things happen, my Lord, I'm full of questions. Why? If " God is love, " and I believe you are, how can you let us suffer like this? It doesn't make sense. I twist & turn it in my mind & there's no way to make sense of it. If you are Lord of all & I believe you are, can't you prevent disaster? Or are you punishing us for some reason? I don't get it. But then the dawn breaks with...not an answer exactly, but a kind of whisper. " Trust me & love me. " You invite me into this lifetime relationship that's based not on understanding but on loving faith. I may never figure you out, Lord, but I'll keep talking with you about it. And please keep whispering to me. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Amen.
June 27~ He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. Humility? I've got that covered, Lord. I'm the humblest person in town. No, seriously, I need your help in sorting out this whole self-esteem issue. Is it right for me to feel good about who I am? After all, I'm created by you in your image. What's more, you have redeemed me & filled me with your Spirit. You have even given me certain abilities to use for your glory. I'm not boasting about any of this, but I'm appreciating it. Yet, Lord, I want to stay humble, to keep learning from you. Let me never assume that I know everything I need to know. Let me never claim to have attained some great level of spirituality. Whatever I am, it's your doing. I know that. I just want to feel good about being the person you've made me. The problem with humility is....once you think you have it, you don't. Amen.
Ok, Tyler....Mom is all caught up with all those prayers. Wow...that was a lot & I won't do that again....lol. The weather today was so beautiful again. The sun is shining & it is in the mid 80's. Mom will be taking an evening walk tonight with the pups so I will be looking to the sky to see if I can see the moon & stars. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Smile & I will do the same. Mom is hoping that your night is filled with all things that you may want to do & what you need to do. Whatever they are I know you will be smiling & shining bright. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my true definition of a Hero & you will always be the wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet precious son. Come see Mom in my dreams tonight. Sweet dreams to you as well. Until tomorrow.....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this very hot Monday afternoon? Mom is writing to you now before I loose steam...lol...so to speak. I am quite tired & I am losing energy so I thought I would do this letter to you before I have to go make dinner & do everything else to. I know it will be an early night for me & I don't want to not write to you. Tomorrow will be an early morning for me as I have an exam to do. This is the last week of this course for Mom. When Friday hits I will be finished with it. It has been a roller coaster of 6 weeks but I am confident that I will pass these last 3 exams & get my certificate so I can go & take the big certification exam hopefully next month. It will be right around your Birthday so hopefully that will give me some good luck. I know I will need it.
Before Mom started to write to you I was able to see that in 3 years I have over 25,500 hits on here & that in 1 months time I have had 667 people visit here. It amazes me & I often wonder what I am saying to make so many follow Mom with my letters to you. I have followers right now in the United States, Canada, France, Germany, Russia & Portugal. For everyone who reads my letters to Tyler....thank you from the bottom of my heart. I do this daily ( most of the time ) to help myself with the continued grieving of losing my only child, my son. Blessings to each & every one of you.
Today has been another tough day for Mom. 3 years ago on this day Mom buried you. It was held at your resting place in front of several family members & a few close friends. That is the way Mom wanted it. I wanted it to be personal & not crowded. I hope I made the right decision. I often wonder that. The month of June has never been a favorite for me & it just has so many dates that make Mom emotional. I know you don't like seeing Mom this way but please, Tyler, know that I am alright. I am sad that you are not here with me & I long for you to be here but I know that is not what you want any more so I have to be happy for you. I am....really. I just miss you like crazy. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I love you from infinity & beyond. You took my heart the day you left this world. Be kind & gentle with it as you take care of it for Mom.
I don't have any updates for you as Mom did not talk to anyone at all last night. It was a quiet night as far as not talking on the phone. I will try to contact Aunt Beck later this week to see how they are & everyone else too. I do however have 4 daily prayers that I need to write to you. Here they are.... June 24~ Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace & pursue it. Help me dear Lord, to seek peace. That might mean I have to back down from a fight. It might mean I don't get my way. It might mean that I don't have to be right all the time. I don't have to win. Help me put aside my selfish goals & consider the needs of others. Give me a sense of what you want in every situation. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Amen.
June 25~Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings with loud shouts. I like old songs, almighty God. I know how to sing those. The new ones have a different rhythm. They take my voice to places it isn't used to going. But I sing them anyways because it pleases you. Lord, that wants newness all the time? Why does everything have to be fresh & creative with you? Just when I get used to some sort of pattern in my life, something I can count on, you shake it up with a new challenge, as well as a new blessing. Help me see your hand in the new things I don't yet understand & praise you for making all things----including my life---new & beautiful. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. Amen.
June 26~ For his anger is but for a moment; his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning. When bad things happen, my Lord, I'm full of questions. Why? If " God is love, " and I believe you are, how can you let us suffer like this? It doesn't make sense. I twist & turn it in my mind & there's no way to make sense of it. If you are Lord of all & I believe you are, can't you prevent disaster? Or are you punishing us for some reason? I don't get it. But then the dawn breaks with...not an answer exactly, but a kind of whisper. " Trust me & love me. " You invite me into this lifetime relationship that's based not on understanding but on loving faith. I may never figure you out, Lord, but I'll keep talking with you about it. And please keep whispering to me. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Amen.
June 27~ He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. Humility? I've got that covered, Lord. I'm the humblest person in town. No, seriously, I need your help in sorting out this whole self-esteem issue. Is it right for me to feel good about who I am? After all, I'm created by you in your image. What's more, you have redeemed me & filled me with your Spirit. You have even given me certain abilities to use for your glory. I'm not boasting about any of this, but I'm appreciating it. Yet, Lord, I want to stay humble, to keep learning from you. Let me never assume that I know everything I need to know. Let me never claim to have attained some great level of spirituality. Whatever I am, it's your doing. I know that. I just want to feel good about being the person you've made me. The problem with humility is....once you think you have it, you don't. Amen.
Ok, Tyler....Mom is all caught up with all those prayers. Wow...that was a lot & I won't do that again....lol. The weather today was so beautiful again. The sun is shining & it is in the mid 80's. Mom will be taking an evening walk tonight with the pups so I will be looking to the sky to see if I can see the moon & stars. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Smile & I will do the same. Mom is hoping that your night is filled with all things that you may want to do & what you need to do. Whatever they are I know you will be smiling & shining bright. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my true definition of a Hero & you will always be the wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet precious son. Come see Mom in my dreams tonight. Sweet dreams to you as well. Until tomorrow.....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, June 26, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Sunday evening? Mom has had a busy day let alone a very busy weekend. The weather today was so beautiful. It was sunny & highs in the 80's again. Our kind of weather that is for sure! So sorry about the short letter last night but Mom was having a rough time. Not sure what is really going on with me but during the days I am but these last few nights I have not been feeling well at all. Tonight is the same way again. I know you can see what I am talking about & I know that you are right with me. Thank you pumpkin. It means so much to me.
Today is kinda a tough day for Mom. So many mixed emotions that I went through. 3 years ago was the last time I saw you in your physical body. Today was your funeral. It's so hard to believe that it's been 3 years. It feels like so much longer. I miss you so much. My heart breaks every day for you. I talked about you alot today to Mark & a few others. I whispered to you several times. Did you hear Mom? I hope so & I hoped you smiled. I will be whispering to you again later so be listening out for me yet again.
Today was also the day that 36 years ago we lost Aunt Jo. You never met her in the physical world because she passed when I was 16 but I know you have met her where you are. Also, today was the day that Grandpa & I got into that bad car accident. That was 28 years ago. I was talking to Meme about that earlier today. The memories of that horrific day for Mom came flashing back. I am handling it the best I can so please don't worry about me. I love you so much my sweet precious son. You were & still are my whole world. You are my everything. You will forever be my hero & the wind beneath my wings. You are in my heart, mind & soul. Please never forget that.
I really have no updates for you at all as I only spoke to Meme today & Grandpa last night. All is well with them. I will hope to have more for you during the week. This is the last week of school for me. I am so psyched! My has her fingers crossed that I get good grades on my next 3 exams so I can pass this class! I have no doubt that you will be right by my side as you have been through it all. I talk to you before each one, do you hear me? I believe you do & that you help me out so thank you so much. You & a couple others have been my support & cheerleaders through this all & it means the world to Mom.
I know I have a ton of daily prayers to catch up on for you but I am afraid that it will have to wait another night as I am really not feeling well right now. Please forgive me, but I promise you that I will do all 4 of them tomorrow as it is not an exam day for me.
Mom hopes that your night is all that you want & need. Come visit me in my dreams tonight. I would love that. Good night & sweet dreams, Ty.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Sunday evening? Mom has had a busy day let alone a very busy weekend. The weather today was so beautiful. It was sunny & highs in the 80's again. Our kind of weather that is for sure! So sorry about the short letter last night but Mom was having a rough time. Not sure what is really going on with me but during the days I am but these last few nights I have not been feeling well at all. Tonight is the same way again. I know you can see what I am talking about & I know that you are right with me. Thank you pumpkin. It means so much to me.
Today is kinda a tough day for Mom. So many mixed emotions that I went through. 3 years ago was the last time I saw you in your physical body. Today was your funeral. It's so hard to believe that it's been 3 years. It feels like so much longer. I miss you so much. My heart breaks every day for you. I talked about you alot today to Mark & a few others. I whispered to you several times. Did you hear Mom? I hope so & I hoped you smiled. I will be whispering to you again later so be listening out for me yet again.
Today was also the day that 36 years ago we lost Aunt Jo. You never met her in the physical world because she passed when I was 16 but I know you have met her where you are. Also, today was the day that Grandpa & I got into that bad car accident. That was 28 years ago. I was talking to Meme about that earlier today. The memories of that horrific day for Mom came flashing back. I am handling it the best I can so please don't worry about me. I love you so much my sweet precious son. You were & still are my whole world. You are my everything. You will forever be my hero & the wind beneath my wings. You are in my heart, mind & soul. Please never forget that.
I really have no updates for you at all as I only spoke to Meme today & Grandpa last night. All is well with them. I will hope to have more for you during the week. This is the last week of school for me. I am so psyched! My has her fingers crossed that I get good grades on my next 3 exams so I can pass this class! I have no doubt that you will be right by my side as you have been through it all. I talk to you before each one, do you hear me? I believe you do & that you help me out so thank you so much. You & a couple others have been my support & cheerleaders through this all & it means the world to Mom.
I know I have a ton of daily prayers to catch up on for you but I am afraid that it will have to wait another night as I am really not feeling well right now. Please forgive me, but I promise you that I will do all 4 of them tomorrow as it is not an exam day for me.
Mom hopes that your night is all that you want & need. Come visit me in my dreams tonight. I would love that. Good night & sweet dreams, Ty.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Saturday evening? Mom had a pretty good day today. The weather has been so beautiful. The sun has been shining & the temps were in the mid 80's. Mom had the opportunity to go to the Relay For Life here where we live. It was really neat to see how others do their relay. The location was at a field but it was really big. It was so beautiful. On one side was just fields, grass & trees & the other side was the water. It was amazing. I know you would have liked it. The relay was a nice size. 21 teams & everyone was really friendly. Mom did the Survivor lap & several others. There was a live band as well & they did really great! Overall I was pretty impressed. I am thinking of getting involved with it for next year. I think it will be great for me & it will give me the opportunity to meet some new people, maybe even make some friends here. That would be nice!
Mom has been trying to write to you all night & for some reason I have not been feeling that well & I have been kinda sick. I am so sorry pumpkin but Mom is going to go lay down. I will promise to write to you a long letter tomorrow night plus all 3 daily prayers that I need catching up on. Mom is thinking that the whole week is catching up with me. I am just so tired.
Mom hopes that your night is filled with all the things that you need & want to do. Please come be with Mom tonight & come visit me in my dreams. The sky is dark but I see no stars or moon shining bright. I will whisper to you in a few. Be listening out for my voice. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. Good night Ty. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow night.....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Saturday evening? Mom had a pretty good day today. The weather has been so beautiful. The sun has been shining & the temps were in the mid 80's. Mom had the opportunity to go to the Relay For Life here where we live. It was really neat to see how others do their relay. The location was at a field but it was really big. It was so beautiful. On one side was just fields, grass & trees & the other side was the water. It was amazing. I know you would have liked it. The relay was a nice size. 21 teams & everyone was really friendly. Mom did the Survivor lap & several others. There was a live band as well & they did really great! Overall I was pretty impressed. I am thinking of getting involved with it for next year. I think it will be great for me & it will give me the opportunity to meet some new people, maybe even make some friends here. That would be nice!
Mom has been trying to write to you all night & for some reason I have not been feeling that well & I have been kinda sick. I am so sorry pumpkin but Mom is going to go lay down. I will promise to write to you a long letter tomorrow night plus all 3 daily prayers that I need catching up on. Mom is thinking that the whole week is catching up with me. I am just so tired.
Mom hopes that your night is filled with all the things that you need & want to do. Please come be with Mom tonight & come visit me in my dreams. The sky is dark but I see no stars or moon shining bright. I will whisper to you in a few. Be listening out for my voice. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. Good night Ty. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow night.....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is doing the best that can be. The last couple days have been pretty early mornings & late nights for me with my studies. I have 4 chapters left & I have 2 weeks to complete them all. They have left the longest & hardest for the end. It is tough & challenging but I will make it through. I know you are right by my side. Thank you for that. It is because of you that I am doing this. It is so that all the medical knowledge that I got over 20 years while caring for you does not go to waste. Mom is sorry that I didn't write to you last night but as I said above I was doing my studies until late & then I needed to just relax & unwind. I needed to get away from the computer & just do nothing. Mom will try to be better about writing something each day as I know several family, friends & folks that I don't even know around the world read my letters to you each & every night. It still amazes me that after 3 years of writing to you on here Mom has so many followers. In the US alone it varies between 120 - 170 people & then various ones all over the world....right now it is Portugal, France, Russia, & a couple more. I hope that I have continued followers throughout this journey I am on with my letters to you. I know it has helped me a great deal with the grieving process so Mom can only hope that I am helping others in their personal process of grief if they have lost precious loved ones. I do want to just take a minute, Tyler & thank everyone who does read my blog. It means the world to me as I share my personal experiences with all. Sometimes my letters are more serious than others & at times they are funnier or less sentimental. It just depends on the day that I am having when I am writing to you. I wish each of you love & light every day. Many blessings to you all as well.
Mom doesn't really have any updates for you as I haven't spoken to anyone really. I heard from Meme & Grandpa & all is well with them. Mark's dad will be going through a series of tests to see just what is going on with him & the stroke that he had 3 weeks ago. My sweet friend that I talk to you about quite often did not get the best news today. He was hoping to get the new job that he applied for but for some reason it didn't work out. He got the call today. He was bummed & rightfully so. I know he will read this letter either tonight or tomorrow & I just want him to know that he is not a failure even if he thinks he is. He is a great guy that I hold very dear to my heart. That door did not open for a reason & I know that another will in God's time...not his. If you can do me a favor & go give him a hug & have him know it is from Mom that would be wonderful. I would do it but we live several hundred miles away. Thank you.
Mom has 3 daily prayers to catch up on so I better start them. Here they are. June 21~ As far as the East is from the West, so far he removes our transgressions from us. Most Holy God, I am amazed by your capacity for forgiveness. We both know that I have wronged you. I come before you as a sinner, depending on your mercy. Thankfully, you life me up & treat me as a friend. My transgressions are gone, completely discarded in the other direction. You hold no grudge. You have wiped the slate clean, allowing us to move forward in our relationship. Thank you, my dear, dear Lord. And please give me that same ability to forgive, because I can't do it on my own. When others offend me, help me forgive them with an open heart. God made you alive together with { Christ } when he forgave us all our trespasses, erasing the record that stood against us with it's legal demands. He set this aside, nailing it to the cross. Amen.
June 22~ Do not be far from me, for trouble is near & there is no one to help. We beseech thee, Master, to be our helper & protector. Save the afflicted among us; have mercy on the lowly; raise up the fallen; appear to the needy; heal the ungodly; restore the wanderers of thy people; feed the hungry; ransom our prisoners; raise up the sick; comfort the faint-hearted. Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age. Amen.
June 23~ I wash my hands in innocence & go around your altar, O Lord, singing aloud a song of thanksgiving & telling all your wondrous deeds. My Lord, it is a great feeling to bask in your presence. There have been times when I have come to you wrecked with guilt or weighed down with worry but you have assured me that my sin is forgiven & that you will care for me. So the burden is off my back. I am free & clear. I feel like singing. I lift up my soul to worship you in a wholehearted expression of praise & love and I will share your greatness with anyone who will listen. You are an awesome God! These verses from Psalm 26 obviously refer to a range of worship activities, possibly by priests or Levites--- the ritual washing, the offering of sacrifices & singing & proclaiming. We can all understand the joy of entering worship with a pure heart & declaring our love for the Lord. Amen
Mom is all caught up finally. The evening sky will be upon us in just an hour or so. The last few nights the sunsets have just been so beautiful. I have been taking pictures so I will make sure to share them with you. I know you will like them as you were just like Mom....love sunsets! I hope that your evening will be filled with all things that you need & want to do. May you have the chance to come visit Mom in my dreams tonight when I fall asleep. I would love that. I will whisper to you tonight when I look to the skies above. I hope to see the moon & stars shining bright but if not that is ok. I know you are shining bright for someone who needs it. I miss you my sweet precious son. I love you with all that I have. To the moon & back & all the way around the would. To infinity & beyond. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You will always be my true hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings. Good night & sweet dreams, Tyler.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS I have not forgotten to post the videos of your balloon release yet. I have Aunt Mary"s, Mom's friend Gary's & the one that we did in NH. I just need the time to edit mine. Hopefully this weekend I will do it. Sorry for the delay. Be patience with Mom....thanks pumpkin xoxoxo.
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is doing the best that can be. The last couple days have been pretty early mornings & late nights for me with my studies. I have 4 chapters left & I have 2 weeks to complete them all. They have left the longest & hardest for the end. It is tough & challenging but I will make it through. I know you are right by my side. Thank you for that. It is because of you that I am doing this. It is so that all the medical knowledge that I got over 20 years while caring for you does not go to waste. Mom is sorry that I didn't write to you last night but as I said above I was doing my studies until late & then I needed to just relax & unwind. I needed to get away from the computer & just do nothing. Mom will try to be better about writing something each day as I know several family, friends & folks that I don't even know around the world read my letters to you each & every night. It still amazes me that after 3 years of writing to you on here Mom has so many followers. In the US alone it varies between 120 - 170 people & then various ones all over the world....right now it is Portugal, France, Russia, & a couple more. I hope that I have continued followers throughout this journey I am on with my letters to you. I know it has helped me a great deal with the grieving process so Mom can only hope that I am helping others in their personal process of grief if they have lost precious loved ones. I do want to just take a minute, Tyler & thank everyone who does read my blog. It means the world to me as I share my personal experiences with all. Sometimes my letters are more serious than others & at times they are funnier or less sentimental. It just depends on the day that I am having when I am writing to you. I wish each of you love & light every day. Many blessings to you all as well.
Mom doesn't really have any updates for you as I haven't spoken to anyone really. I heard from Meme & Grandpa & all is well with them. Mark's dad will be going through a series of tests to see just what is going on with him & the stroke that he had 3 weeks ago. My sweet friend that I talk to you about quite often did not get the best news today. He was hoping to get the new job that he applied for but for some reason it didn't work out. He got the call today. He was bummed & rightfully so. I know he will read this letter either tonight or tomorrow & I just want him to know that he is not a failure even if he thinks he is. He is a great guy that I hold very dear to my heart. That door did not open for a reason & I know that another will in God's time...not his. If you can do me a favor & go give him a hug & have him know it is from Mom that would be wonderful. I would do it but we live several hundred miles away. Thank you.
Mom has 3 daily prayers to catch up on so I better start them. Here they are. June 21~ As far as the East is from the West, so far he removes our transgressions from us. Most Holy God, I am amazed by your capacity for forgiveness. We both know that I have wronged you. I come before you as a sinner, depending on your mercy. Thankfully, you life me up & treat me as a friend. My transgressions are gone, completely discarded in the other direction. You hold no grudge. You have wiped the slate clean, allowing us to move forward in our relationship. Thank you, my dear, dear Lord. And please give me that same ability to forgive, because I can't do it on my own. When others offend me, help me forgive them with an open heart. God made you alive together with { Christ } when he forgave us all our trespasses, erasing the record that stood against us with it's legal demands. He set this aside, nailing it to the cross. Amen.
June 22~ Do not be far from me, for trouble is near & there is no one to help. We beseech thee, Master, to be our helper & protector. Save the afflicted among us; have mercy on the lowly; raise up the fallen; appear to the needy; heal the ungodly; restore the wanderers of thy people; feed the hungry; ransom our prisoners; raise up the sick; comfort the faint-hearted. Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age. Amen.
June 23~ I wash my hands in innocence & go around your altar, O Lord, singing aloud a song of thanksgiving & telling all your wondrous deeds. My Lord, it is a great feeling to bask in your presence. There have been times when I have come to you wrecked with guilt or weighed down with worry but you have assured me that my sin is forgiven & that you will care for me. So the burden is off my back. I am free & clear. I feel like singing. I lift up my soul to worship you in a wholehearted expression of praise & love and I will share your greatness with anyone who will listen. You are an awesome God! These verses from Psalm 26 obviously refer to a range of worship activities, possibly by priests or Levites--- the ritual washing, the offering of sacrifices & singing & proclaiming. We can all understand the joy of entering worship with a pure heart & declaring our love for the Lord. Amen
Mom is all caught up finally. The evening sky will be upon us in just an hour or so. The last few nights the sunsets have just been so beautiful. I have been taking pictures so I will make sure to share them with you. I know you will like them as you were just like Mom....love sunsets! I hope that your evening will be filled with all things that you need & want to do. May you have the chance to come visit Mom in my dreams tonight when I fall asleep. I would love that. I will whisper to you tonight when I look to the skies above. I hope to see the moon & stars shining bright but if not that is ok. I know you are shining bright for someone who needs it. I miss you my sweet precious son. I love you with all that I have. To the moon & back & all the way around the would. To infinity & beyond. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You will always be my true hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings. Good night & sweet dreams, Tyler.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS I have not forgotten to post the videos of your balloon release yet. I have Aunt Mary"s, Mom's friend Gary's & the one that we did in NH. I just need the time to edit mine. Hopefully this weekend I will do it. Sorry for the delay. Be patience with Mom....thanks pumpkin xoxoxo.
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? Mom has had a pretty good day despite the emotional roller coaster of emotions that I am still having. My back is doing a little bit better. During the day it is pretty good but at night it starts to hurt & when I lay down to go to sleep it hurts like crazy still. I hope that it feels better soon because this no sleep is getting to Mom. Anyways... enough of that. Today Mom did her studies & I took an exam. I got 3 wrong 52 out of 55 so it averaged out to a 95. Mom was pretty happy with that to say the least. I know you were with me as well & you were smiling for Mom. The rest of the day I did the next chapter with the lecture & the activities so tomorrow I will be this next exam. After that I will have 4 more chapters & I will be finished with the course. I believe that if I continue to go the way that I am I will be finished with this whole course 2 weeks early! Keeping my fingers crossed that that happens!
Last night we had an amazing moon. It was a Strawberry Moon. It was so full & it was beautiful. The stars were shining so bright too. I whispered to you, did you hear Mom? I was thinking of you the whole time as it was tough for Mom. My emotions were on over drive last night & tears were shed more. I know that you understood when you saw me.
Today, 3 years ago, the day after you passed your star was put on the rocket ship & went up in space. I remember asking you if you went to your star & you said yes. You said it was beautiful & described to me what the stars look like from where you are to what they look like to Mom. I will never forget your description. It was touching to Mom & I am sure it touched you as well.
Mom doesn't have any real updates for you tonight at all. It has been quite quiet the last few nights. I have spoken to Grandpa & Meme. Grammy is doing as best as she can be. She is still recovering. I guess there are a lot of issues that are going on up at the facility where she resides at. Please watch over her. Thank you so much, Tyler. I worry about her because as we both know 1st hand just how it is to reside at those kinds of places. It makes me sad & sick...ugh! Hopefully I will have more updates for you later in the week.
Mom is quite tired tonight from looking at the computer so much. Hope you don't mind but I will write to you the daily prayers on tomorrows letter. I am just so tired & my head is actually hurting. I think I will go & relax for a bit & then head to bed. Tomorrow morning will come early. Mom hopes that your night is all that you need & want it to be. Come visit me in my dreams tonight. I would love that so much. I will whisper to you as I always do tonight as well. Be listening out for my voice. Don't forget to smile... I won't. I love you & I miss you so much. More than I could ever express to anyone but I know you feel it so that is all that matters to me. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet precious son. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow...
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? Mom has had a pretty good day despite the emotional roller coaster of emotions that I am still having. My back is doing a little bit better. During the day it is pretty good but at night it starts to hurt & when I lay down to go to sleep it hurts like crazy still. I hope that it feels better soon because this no sleep is getting to Mom. Anyways... enough of that. Today Mom did her studies & I took an exam. I got 3 wrong 52 out of 55 so it averaged out to a 95. Mom was pretty happy with that to say the least. I know you were with me as well & you were smiling for Mom. The rest of the day I did the next chapter with the lecture & the activities so tomorrow I will be this next exam. After that I will have 4 more chapters & I will be finished with the course. I believe that if I continue to go the way that I am I will be finished with this whole course 2 weeks early! Keeping my fingers crossed that that happens!
Last night we had an amazing moon. It was a Strawberry Moon. It was so full & it was beautiful. The stars were shining so bright too. I whispered to you, did you hear Mom? I was thinking of you the whole time as it was tough for Mom. My emotions were on over drive last night & tears were shed more. I know that you understood when you saw me.
Today, 3 years ago, the day after you passed your star was put on the rocket ship & went up in space. I remember asking you if you went to your star & you said yes. You said it was beautiful & described to me what the stars look like from where you are to what they look like to Mom. I will never forget your description. It was touching to Mom & I am sure it touched you as well.
Mom doesn't have any real updates for you tonight at all. It has been quite quiet the last few nights. I have spoken to Grandpa & Meme. Grammy is doing as best as she can be. She is still recovering. I guess there are a lot of issues that are going on up at the facility where she resides at. Please watch over her. Thank you so much, Tyler. I worry about her because as we both know 1st hand just how it is to reside at those kinds of places. It makes me sad & sick...ugh! Hopefully I will have more updates for you later in the week.
Mom is quite tired tonight from looking at the computer so much. Hope you don't mind but I will write to you the daily prayers on tomorrows letter. I am just so tired & my head is actually hurting. I think I will go & relax for a bit & then head to bed. Tomorrow morning will come early. Mom hopes that your night is all that you need & want it to be. Come visit me in my dreams tonight. I would love that so much. I will whisper to you as I always do tonight as well. Be listening out for my voice. Don't forget to smile... I won't. I love you & I miss you so much. More than I could ever express to anyone but I know you feel it so that is all that matters to me. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet precious son. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow...
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, June 20, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? The last 3 days for Mom have been a whirlwind that's for sure. I didn't get the chance to write to you Saturday night or last night on here but I did write to you on your facebook page again. Friday night after I wrote to you & ate dinner I was chatting with Grandpa on the phone & Mom tweaked her back somehow. I was fine 1 minute & in severe pain the next. I did not sleep at all Friday night & got up quite early Saturday morning to make the trip to NH. That was a long day as well but so nice to see everyone. Mom put on a brave face for more than 1 reason. It was a tough day, emotional & Mom was in a lot of pain from her back. Mark & I got home around 9:30 pm & I went straight to bed. Again I could not sleep due to my back spasming like crazy. Yesterday was the worst day as I did not even get out of bed...only to use the bathroom & then back to bed I went. I needed the down day that is for sure. The level of pain I was in was the worst of the 3 days. I stayed still & quiet as much as I could & Mom actually took a nap for a bit. Went to bed around 10 pm & slept last night. I needed it. The moon was incredible to look at. I whispered to you while watching it for a short time. Did you hear Mom? I sure hope so.
I woke up this morning to remember the horrific nightmare that happened 3 years ago. The whole day has been playing in my head. All the memories that I have are heartbreaking to Mom. I managed to get out of bed today, get ready, walked the pups & did a little studying to take my mind off things but it really hasn't worked at all. A few family members have called today to see how I have been doing. Friends have called as well & left messages for me telling me they were thinking of you & Mom. It has been so sweet the support that I still get after 3 years. That is true friendship & love. It means the world to me & I don't know where I really would be without them all. Mom's friend released balloons to you today. Did you get them? I will try to post the video of Saturday & today on here but Mom is having some trouble with the length of it so Mark has said we need to find an application to help out with it & we have not been successful to this point. I promise that when I do get it I will post it on here for sure. Saturday I got the chance to see several family & friends. Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie, Auntie Kristina, Mark, Auntie Kristi, Charlie, Marion, Lizzie, Brian, Mow, Zev, Sam, Denise, Julie & James were there. We all saw the hawk. I tried to take a picture of it but I guess you didn't want that did you? Thank you for letting us know that you were there. That you saw it all & heard all the kind messages & words that were said about you. Mom still has the hawk feather that you wanted Aunt Beck to give me at your funeral. It sits next to the candle that was burning that day & near a pic of you. Every one seems to be doing well. Everyone looked great. It is never enough time to see all that you want to or visit with. It is tough but I did my best. We skyped with Mark's Dad & Step Mom last night. Tubal will be going in for tests to be done to see what is going on with him. I think he had a few done today so we shall see what is happening later this evening. Other than that Mom has no updates for you. I do however have a few daily prayers to catch up on so here they are.
June 18~ For you O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. O God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come, our shelter from the stormy blast & our eternal home! Under the shadow of thy throne, still may we dwell secure; Sufficient is thine arm alone & our defense is sure. Before the hills in order stood or the earth received her frame, from everlasting, thou art God, to endless years the same. Hope is the expectation of good things to come. Amen.
June 19~ I have been young & now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. Through the years, supreme Lord, you have provided. I thank you for that. You have proven faithful again & again. I'm not just talking about material things---food, clothing, a home, & a job. You provide such blessings according to your wisdom, but, more than that, you provide strength to focus on your spiritual blessings & you provide joy in relationships with you & your people. Your promise is clear: A family forsaken. You will bless them with your spiritual blessings from generation to generation. The best blessing that parents give their children is an honest, living faith. Don't hide flaws, market the faith or look only at the bright side. It is the stark reality of God's presence that will win them. Amen.
June 20~ Come O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. What does it mean to " fear " you, Lord? To cower? To run away from your awesome power? To hide from your righteous gaze? It can't be those things, can it? You invite us to draw near to you & to love you.Yes, I am in awe of your power. Your holiness humbles me. You are God & I know I am not. But my shrinking back is overcome by my attraction to you. This is how I " fear " you, y paying attention to you every day, living out my love for you. This is what I want to teach my family----and everyone in the next generation: " Children, don't run away from God in terror! Instead, draw near to him in humble love. " There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. Amen.
Mom is all caught up once again. Mom just happened to glance up at the clock & saw that it is almost that time. 5:37 pm. The time you chose to leave the physical world & be free of everything. I can't even put into words just how much I miss you. Your face, your voice, your laugh. Everything I miss. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I love you to infinity & beyond. I didn't realize until this morning that it is the 1st official day of summer. I told Mark that it didn't surprise me that you chose this day as you loved the summer. I guess I just never put 2 & 2 together until now. Tonight is suppose to be the summer solstice. That is where the sun & moon will be both seen in the sky at the same time tonight. It is also the longest day of the year with over 15 hours of daylight. This has not happened in over 70 years. Mom is hoping to see it all & get pictures of it. I will make sure to whisper to you my sweet precious son so be listening out for my voice. Smile & I will too.
May tonight be filled with all that you need & want it to be. Come visit Mom in my dreams tonight if you have the time. I would love that. I look forward to seeing the sunset later as well. I know you will make it pretty for Mom. Send me a sign pumpkin. Thank you. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. You are my true hero & my wind beneath my wings. ( 3 years ago at this exact time I was singing this to you with tears rolling down my face. Mom was telling you to go, to fly high & be free. Somehow I know you heard my every word & you heard me singing to you as when I ended it was then that your heart stopped beating. ) Oh Tyler, I miss you so. I love you beyond words. I miss my everything. You have my heart with you wherever you go. I hope you know that. Good night & sweet dreams, Tyler.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? The last 3 days for Mom have been a whirlwind that's for sure. I didn't get the chance to write to you Saturday night or last night on here but I did write to you on your facebook page again. Friday night after I wrote to you & ate dinner I was chatting with Grandpa on the phone & Mom tweaked her back somehow. I was fine 1 minute & in severe pain the next. I did not sleep at all Friday night & got up quite early Saturday morning to make the trip to NH. That was a long day as well but so nice to see everyone. Mom put on a brave face for more than 1 reason. It was a tough day, emotional & Mom was in a lot of pain from her back. Mark & I got home around 9:30 pm & I went straight to bed. Again I could not sleep due to my back spasming like crazy. Yesterday was the worst day as I did not even get out of bed...only to use the bathroom & then back to bed I went. I needed the down day that is for sure. The level of pain I was in was the worst of the 3 days. I stayed still & quiet as much as I could & Mom actually took a nap for a bit. Went to bed around 10 pm & slept last night. I needed it. The moon was incredible to look at. I whispered to you while watching it for a short time. Did you hear Mom? I sure hope so.
I woke up this morning to remember the horrific nightmare that happened 3 years ago. The whole day has been playing in my head. All the memories that I have are heartbreaking to Mom. I managed to get out of bed today, get ready, walked the pups & did a little studying to take my mind off things but it really hasn't worked at all. A few family members have called today to see how I have been doing. Friends have called as well & left messages for me telling me they were thinking of you & Mom. It has been so sweet the support that I still get after 3 years. That is true friendship & love. It means the world to me & I don't know where I really would be without them all. Mom's friend released balloons to you today. Did you get them? I will try to post the video of Saturday & today on here but Mom is having some trouble with the length of it so Mark has said we need to find an application to help out with it & we have not been successful to this point. I promise that when I do get it I will post it on here for sure. Saturday I got the chance to see several family & friends. Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie, Auntie Kristina, Mark, Auntie Kristi, Charlie, Marion, Lizzie, Brian, Mow, Zev, Sam, Denise, Julie & James were there. We all saw the hawk. I tried to take a picture of it but I guess you didn't want that did you? Thank you for letting us know that you were there. That you saw it all & heard all the kind messages & words that were said about you. Mom still has the hawk feather that you wanted Aunt Beck to give me at your funeral. It sits next to the candle that was burning that day & near a pic of you. Every one seems to be doing well. Everyone looked great. It is never enough time to see all that you want to or visit with. It is tough but I did my best. We skyped with Mark's Dad & Step Mom last night. Tubal will be going in for tests to be done to see what is going on with him. I think he had a few done today so we shall see what is happening later this evening. Other than that Mom has no updates for you. I do however have a few daily prayers to catch up on so here they are.
June 18~ For you O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. O God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come, our shelter from the stormy blast & our eternal home! Under the shadow of thy throne, still may we dwell secure; Sufficient is thine arm alone & our defense is sure. Before the hills in order stood or the earth received her frame, from everlasting, thou art God, to endless years the same. Hope is the expectation of good things to come. Amen.
June 19~ I have been young & now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. Through the years, supreme Lord, you have provided. I thank you for that. You have proven faithful again & again. I'm not just talking about material things---food, clothing, a home, & a job. You provide such blessings according to your wisdom, but, more than that, you provide strength to focus on your spiritual blessings & you provide joy in relationships with you & your people. Your promise is clear: A family forsaken. You will bless them with your spiritual blessings from generation to generation. The best blessing that parents give their children is an honest, living faith. Don't hide flaws, market the faith or look only at the bright side. It is the stark reality of God's presence that will win them. Amen.
June 20~ Come O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. What does it mean to " fear " you, Lord? To cower? To run away from your awesome power? To hide from your righteous gaze? It can't be those things, can it? You invite us to draw near to you & to love you.Yes, I am in awe of your power. Your holiness humbles me. You are God & I know I am not. But my shrinking back is overcome by my attraction to you. This is how I " fear " you, y paying attention to you every day, living out my love for you. This is what I want to teach my family----and everyone in the next generation: " Children, don't run away from God in terror! Instead, draw near to him in humble love. " There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. Amen.
Mom is all caught up once again. Mom just happened to glance up at the clock & saw that it is almost that time. 5:37 pm. The time you chose to leave the physical world & be free of everything. I can't even put into words just how much I miss you. Your face, your voice, your laugh. Everything I miss. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I love you to infinity & beyond. I didn't realize until this morning that it is the 1st official day of summer. I told Mark that it didn't surprise me that you chose this day as you loved the summer. I guess I just never put 2 & 2 together until now. Tonight is suppose to be the summer solstice. That is where the sun & moon will be both seen in the sky at the same time tonight. It is also the longest day of the year with over 15 hours of daylight. This has not happened in over 70 years. Mom is hoping to see it all & get pictures of it. I will make sure to whisper to you my sweet precious son so be listening out for my voice. Smile & I will too.
May tonight be filled with all that you need & want it to be. Come visit Mom in my dreams tonight if you have the time. I would love that. I look forward to seeing the sunset later as well. I know you will make it pretty for Mom. Send me a sign pumpkin. Thank you. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. You are my true hero & my wind beneath my wings. ( 3 years ago at this exact time I was singing this to you with tears rolling down my face. Mom was telling you to go, to fly high & be free. Somehow I know you heard my every word & you heard me singing to you as when I ended it was then that your heart stopped beating. ) Oh Tyler, I miss you so. I love you beyond words. I miss my everything. You have my heart with you wherever you go. I hope you know that. Good night & sweet dreams, Tyler.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, June 17, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom is doing better than she was earlier that is for sure. I am so sorry that once again I did not right to you last night. It was another late night for Mom studying. I was so tired at 9 pm that I went & laid down to just relax & I actually feel fast asleep. That never happens but I am just so tired from pushing myself to the limits with this course. Today Mom took a tough exam on the Nervous/ Endocrine System & I nailed it! I got a 93%. I was & am so excited. I only got 4 wrong out of 55 questions. My GPA is staying steady at a 86 right now. I am very happy with that but would like to get it up into the 90's before this is done. I know I can do it. I have Faith in myself now thanks to you & a couple very special people in my life that continue to encourage me. Mom wanted to write to you now because it will be a very early night for us tonight as we will be getting up early to head to NH tomorrow morning. I hear the weather is going to be perfect. Sunny in the 70's maybe 80's tomorrow. Thanks for the nice weather, Tyler! It sure will be helpful so that we all can release the balloons to you. These next few days are going to be tough for Mom but I will do my best to keep everything together as I know you don't want Mom to cry. You don't like to see that from me & I always try but sometimes those tears just fall from my eyes & I can't help it. Please continue to be patience with Mom. It still is really tough for me. My heart will forever be broken. I miss you so much. I miss you like crazy. I love you to infinity & beyond. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. I hope you always know this & you will never forget it. You are my true hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul & you will remain my everything.
The last couple days have been just Mom studying & getting things done around the apartment. Nothing fun or fancy that's for sure but that's life, right? I really don't have any updates for you. Phone calls will be made to see how Tubal is doing & what the doctor's said at his appointments. I haven't heard from Aunt Beck to see what happened at John's appointment on Tuesday so I will try to get in touch with her over the weekend & see what is happening. Meme has tried to call her a few times but no answer so II am hoping all is ok. I will have many updates for you this weekend after my visit back home. I am not sure if I will be able to write to you tomorrow night~ Saturday as I am not sure what time we will be getting home. If I don't then I will definitely write to you on Sunday. I will be sharing pictures & videos of the balloon release to you on here Sunday & Monday...those will be the 2 toughest days that I dread. Please help me through it. Mom is going to need you my sweet precious son. Thank you.
Here are the daily prayers that I need to catch up again. June 16~ If my father & mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up. Relationships are truly beautiful. Relationships are difficult. I guess I know that, Lord, since most of the Bible describes your passionate love for humanity. Today I bring before you my closest relationships. You know both their beauty their challenges. You understand the pleasure I draw from their love & also the anxiety. I ask you to stand behind these connections. Show us how to get along. Help us listen to each other & to you. Give us patience, wisdom, & creativity. Share with us your secrets of superficial love. Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Amen.
June 17~ Father of orphans & protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. With all the Father's Day ads, I think of you, the Father of all creation. Yet I realize that there are all kinds of fathers in this world. Some are absent or abusive; some are distant or demanding; and some are caring & giving. When some people think of you as a father, fear & anger consumes them. But here the psalmist calls you " father of orphans. " For anyone who needs a good father you step in. Whenever failings any earthly father has, you make up for that earthly father. There is genuine fatherly love available to us all. Thank you, my " heavenly dad. " Religion that is pure & undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans & widows in their distress & to keep oneself unstained by the world. Amen.
All caught up. The evening sunset will be upon us in a few short hours. The sunsets the past 2 nights have been so beautiful. I will post a couple of them on here for you. They are taken from our balcony. Sunsets like that make me smile. I hope you have something to do with them come Sunday & Monday because that will be the only reason I smile on those 2 days. Mom is hoping that your night is all you want & need it to be. I will be looking for the stars & moon to be shining bright later. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Smile & I will too. Good night, Tyler & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom is doing better than she was earlier that is for sure. I am so sorry that once again I did not right to you last night. It was another late night for Mom studying. I was so tired at 9 pm that I went & laid down to just relax & I actually feel fast asleep. That never happens but I am just so tired from pushing myself to the limits with this course. Today Mom took a tough exam on the Nervous/ Endocrine System & I nailed it! I got a 93%. I was & am so excited. I only got 4 wrong out of 55 questions. My GPA is staying steady at a 86 right now. I am very happy with that but would like to get it up into the 90's before this is done. I know I can do it. I have Faith in myself now thanks to you & a couple very special people in my life that continue to encourage me. Mom wanted to write to you now because it will be a very early night for us tonight as we will be getting up early to head to NH tomorrow morning. I hear the weather is going to be perfect. Sunny in the 70's maybe 80's tomorrow. Thanks for the nice weather, Tyler! It sure will be helpful so that we all can release the balloons to you. These next few days are going to be tough for Mom but I will do my best to keep everything together as I know you don't want Mom to cry. You don't like to see that from me & I always try but sometimes those tears just fall from my eyes & I can't help it. Please continue to be patience with Mom. It still is really tough for me. My heart will forever be broken. I miss you so much. I miss you like crazy. I love you to infinity & beyond. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. I hope you always know this & you will never forget it. You are my true hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul & you will remain my everything.
The last couple days have been just Mom studying & getting things done around the apartment. Nothing fun or fancy that's for sure but that's life, right? I really don't have any updates for you. Phone calls will be made to see how Tubal is doing & what the doctor's said at his appointments. I haven't heard from Aunt Beck to see what happened at John's appointment on Tuesday so I will try to get in touch with her over the weekend & see what is happening. Meme has tried to call her a few times but no answer so II am hoping all is ok. I will have many updates for you this weekend after my visit back home. I am not sure if I will be able to write to you tomorrow night~ Saturday as I am not sure what time we will be getting home. If I don't then I will definitely write to you on Sunday. I will be sharing pictures & videos of the balloon release to you on here Sunday & Monday...those will be the 2 toughest days that I dread. Please help me through it. Mom is going to need you my sweet precious son. Thank you.
Here are the daily prayers that I need to catch up again. June 16~ If my father & mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up. Relationships are truly beautiful. Relationships are difficult. I guess I know that, Lord, since most of the Bible describes your passionate love for humanity. Today I bring before you my closest relationships. You know both their beauty their challenges. You understand the pleasure I draw from their love & also the anxiety. I ask you to stand behind these connections. Show us how to get along. Help us listen to each other & to you. Give us patience, wisdom, & creativity. Share with us your secrets of superficial love. Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Amen.
June 17~ Father of orphans & protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. With all the Father's Day ads, I think of you, the Father of all creation. Yet I realize that there are all kinds of fathers in this world. Some are absent or abusive; some are distant or demanding; and some are caring & giving. When some people think of you as a father, fear & anger consumes them. But here the psalmist calls you " father of orphans. " For anyone who needs a good father you step in. Whenever failings any earthly father has, you make up for that earthly father. There is genuine fatherly love available to us all. Thank you, my " heavenly dad. " Religion that is pure & undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans & widows in their distress & to keep oneself unstained by the world. Amen.
All caught up. The evening sunset will be upon us in a few short hours. The sunsets the past 2 nights have been so beautiful. I will post a couple of them on here for you. They are taken from our balcony. Sunsets like that make me smile. I hope you have something to do with them come Sunday & Monday because that will be the only reason I smile on those 2 days. Mom is hoping that your night is all you want & need it to be. I will be looking for the stars & moon to be shining bright later. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Smile & I will too. Good night, Tyler & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom has had quite the day today. I took it off from studying because I had an appointment this afternoon. I did a little retail therapy & got my nails done as well. The weather outside is so beautiful. It is a hot one but the sun is shining & it was so nice to get outside & not be stuck inside.... that is all that matters.
Last night I got the chance to chat with Meme & Grandpa. It was so nice to catch up on things. I also got the chance to chat with a couple friends of mine & Auntie Kristi. We were chatting about this coming Saturday when I am up in NH. We will be going to the cemetery & releasing balloons to you as we always do this time of year. I hope that you will get the chance to see each & every on of them. So far we have 17 family & friends that are confirmed that will be there. There will be: Mom, Mark, Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie, Auntie Kristina, Mark, Auntie Kristi, Marion, Charlie, Lizzie, Brian, Mow, a couple of Mom's friends.... Julie & her 3 children, Ruth & your buddy Sam I Am. Spencer & another couple friends of Mom's would like me to send a couple balloons up to you from them seeings how they are in South Carolina, North Carolina & Florida & can't be with us on Saturday. I told them I would be so happy to. I hope that you will " float " on them all like you told me you did a couple years ago. Mom will make sure to post all the pictures & videos of this so that you can see them all the time & whenever you want to.
Not much else has been happening & it has been quite quiet. Sometimes that is a good thing. I have your daily prayer for today though. June 15~ My times are in your hand; deliver me from the hand of my enemies & persecutors. Why does life get increasingly difficult, my Lord? Not all the time, of course. There are times of joy & pleasure, but how quickly things turn. A bad break, an angry word, a new threat to fret over & suddenly each day is a struggle. It's hard to get out of bed in the morning. I know life has its ups & downs but I could stand a few more ups & a lot fewer downs. Let me remember, Lord, That " my times are in your hand. " You ride that roller coaster with me, don't you? Good times & bad, you have a handle on them all. Davis said well that the times belonged to the Lord. That's why he refused to kill King Saul when he had the chance, because it was up to the Lord to determine the limits of Saul's reign. Amen.
The evening sky tonight should be beautiful with the sunset in about 3 hours. I will be looking forward to it & looking to the sky tonight & whispering to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. I will smile when I talk to you & hopefully you will smile when you hear me talking. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back 7 all the way around the world. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. You will forever be my true hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings.
Hope that your night will be filled with all the things you need & want to do. Come visit Mom in my dreams if you can tonight! Fly high & free. Please continue to watch over us. Thank you. Good night, Tyler & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom has had quite the day today. I took it off from studying because I had an appointment this afternoon. I did a little retail therapy & got my nails done as well. The weather outside is so beautiful. It is a hot one but the sun is shining & it was so nice to get outside & not be stuck inside.... that is all that matters.
Last night I got the chance to chat with Meme & Grandpa. It was so nice to catch up on things. I also got the chance to chat with a couple friends of mine & Auntie Kristi. We were chatting about this coming Saturday when I am up in NH. We will be going to the cemetery & releasing balloons to you as we always do this time of year. I hope that you will get the chance to see each & every on of them. So far we have 17 family & friends that are confirmed that will be there. There will be: Mom, Mark, Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie, Auntie Kristina, Mark, Auntie Kristi, Marion, Charlie, Lizzie, Brian, Mow, a couple of Mom's friends.... Julie & her 3 children, Ruth & your buddy Sam I Am. Spencer & another couple friends of Mom's would like me to send a couple balloons up to you from them seeings how they are in South Carolina, North Carolina & Florida & can't be with us on Saturday. I told them I would be so happy to. I hope that you will " float " on them all like you told me you did a couple years ago. Mom will make sure to post all the pictures & videos of this so that you can see them all the time & whenever you want to.
Not much else has been happening & it has been quite quiet. Sometimes that is a good thing. I have your daily prayer for today though. June 15~ My times are in your hand; deliver me from the hand of my enemies & persecutors. Why does life get increasingly difficult, my Lord? Not all the time, of course. There are times of joy & pleasure, but how quickly things turn. A bad break, an angry word, a new threat to fret over & suddenly each day is a struggle. It's hard to get out of bed in the morning. I know life has its ups & downs but I could stand a few more ups & a lot fewer downs. Let me remember, Lord, That " my times are in your hand. " You ride that roller coaster with me, don't you? Good times & bad, you have a handle on them all. Davis said well that the times belonged to the Lord. That's why he refused to kill King Saul when he had the chance, because it was up to the Lord to determine the limits of Saul's reign. Amen.
The evening sky tonight should be beautiful with the sunset in about 3 hours. I will be looking forward to it & looking to the sky tonight & whispering to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. I will smile when I talk to you & hopefully you will smile when you hear me talking. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back 7 all the way around the world. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. You will forever be my true hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings.
Hope that your night will be filled with all the things you need & want to do. Come visit Mom in my dreams if you can tonight! Fly high & free. Please continue to watch over us. Thank you. Good night, Tyler & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? Mom is again so sorry that I didn't write to you but as you could see last night I was taking my exam until 9:30 pm & then after that I did dinner dishes, spoke to Grandpa really quick because he called like 3 times while I was taking my exam & then I went to bed. I couldn't even keep my eyes open at all. I did write to you on your facebook wall. Just a quick hello to tell you I was thinking about you & that I loved & missed you. Today has been a day like yesterday but at least I got my exam done at a descent time. I thought I would do better than what I did but I at least passed the dang thing. I will be taking tomorrow off as I have an appointment in the early afternoon to go to. I think I need the break as my brain is on overload. Mom is looking forward to Saturday as I will be going to NH to see some family & friends. I will also be going there to visit with you at your resting place. I can't believe that in 6 days it will be 3 years since I lost you. My heart is still crushed daily by this & Mom knows it will never mend. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. Never forget that, Tyler...please.
The evening sky will be getting dark in the next hour or so. The sky is still clear so I am hoping to see the stars & the moon shining bright. Either way I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for Mom's voice. Smile when you hear me & I will smile as I whisper to you. Mom hopes that your night is all that you are needing & wanting it to be. Come visit me in my dreams tonight if you get the chance. I love when you do. Thanks pumpkin!
I have no updates for you at all still as I really haven't spoken to anyone in these last 2 days/nights. Mom's nose is always stuck in a book & studying all day & then at night I relax & then go to bed. I know it will pay off in the end & I look forward to that day. What you told Aunt Beck is still staying with Mom. I hear it in my mind all the time & it means so much to me. Thank you thank you thank you.
Here are the daily prayers I need to get caught up on for you. June 13~ O send out your light & your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill & to your dwelling. Lead me, dear Lord. I need your light shining on the road ahead of me. Life is complicated these days & I don't know where to turn. Illuminate the options for me. Let me see which path to take. I need your truth ringing in my ears. So many voices these days woo this way or that way, I don't know whom to believe. Except you. I trust your Word & I trust you to guide me through my current straits. The Lord went in front of them in a pillar of cloud by day, to lead them along the way & in a pillar of fire by night, to give them light, so that they might travel by day & by night. Amen.
June 14~ May he grant you your hearts desire & fulfill all your plans. May we shout for joy over your victory & in the name of our God set up our banners. I pray today for those stepping out into new ventures, especially those who are seeking new ways to serve you. Go with them, Lord. Guide them in the planning process & grant them success. Encourage them when things don't work out at first, and help them keep their heads when they encounter the first flush of success. Along with the psalmist, I want to " shout to joy " and wave flags to celebrate their victory. Please, Lord, honor the desires of your servants to serve you more effectively. He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Amen.
All caught up once again. Mom is going to go for now as my eyes are heavy & tired from looking at a computer screen all day. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Good night, Ty. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow night.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? Mom is again so sorry that I didn't write to you but as you could see last night I was taking my exam until 9:30 pm & then after that I did dinner dishes, spoke to Grandpa really quick because he called like 3 times while I was taking my exam & then I went to bed. I couldn't even keep my eyes open at all. I did write to you on your facebook wall. Just a quick hello to tell you I was thinking about you & that I loved & missed you. Today has been a day like yesterday but at least I got my exam done at a descent time. I thought I would do better than what I did but I at least passed the dang thing. I will be taking tomorrow off as I have an appointment in the early afternoon to go to. I think I need the break as my brain is on overload. Mom is looking forward to Saturday as I will be going to NH to see some family & friends. I will also be going there to visit with you at your resting place. I can't believe that in 6 days it will be 3 years since I lost you. My heart is still crushed daily by this & Mom knows it will never mend. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. Never forget that, Tyler...please.
The evening sky will be getting dark in the next hour or so. The sky is still clear so I am hoping to see the stars & the moon shining bright. Either way I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for Mom's voice. Smile when you hear me & I will smile as I whisper to you. Mom hopes that your night is all that you are needing & wanting it to be. Come visit me in my dreams tonight if you get the chance. I love when you do. Thanks pumpkin!
I have no updates for you at all still as I really haven't spoken to anyone in these last 2 days/nights. Mom's nose is always stuck in a book & studying all day & then at night I relax & then go to bed. I know it will pay off in the end & I look forward to that day. What you told Aunt Beck is still staying with Mom. I hear it in my mind all the time & it means so much to me. Thank you thank you thank you.
Here are the daily prayers I need to get caught up on for you. June 13~ O send out your light & your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill & to your dwelling. Lead me, dear Lord. I need your light shining on the road ahead of me. Life is complicated these days & I don't know where to turn. Illuminate the options for me. Let me see which path to take. I need your truth ringing in my ears. So many voices these days woo this way or that way, I don't know whom to believe. Except you. I trust your Word & I trust you to guide me through my current straits. The Lord went in front of them in a pillar of cloud by day, to lead them along the way & in a pillar of fire by night, to give them light, so that they might travel by day & by night. Amen.
June 14~ May he grant you your hearts desire & fulfill all your plans. May we shout for joy over your victory & in the name of our God set up our banners. I pray today for those stepping out into new ventures, especially those who are seeking new ways to serve you. Go with them, Lord. Guide them in the planning process & grant them success. Encourage them when things don't work out at first, and help them keep their heads when they encounter the first flush of success. Along with the psalmist, I want to " shout to joy " and wave flags to celebrate their victory. Please, Lord, honor the desires of your servants to serve you more effectively. He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Amen.
All caught up once again. Mom is going to go for now as my eyes are heavy & tired from looking at a computer screen all day. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Good night, Ty. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow night.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)