Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this very hot Monday afternoon? Mom is writing to you now before I loose steam...lol...so to speak. I am quite tired & I am losing energy so I thought I would do this letter to you before I have to go make dinner & do everything else to. I know it will be an early night for me & I don't want to not write to you. Tomorrow will be an early morning for me as I have an exam to do. This is the last week of this course for Mom. When Friday hits I will be finished with it. It has been a roller coaster of 6 weeks but I am confident that I will pass these last 3 exams & get my certificate so I can go & take the big certification exam hopefully next month. It will be right around your Birthday so hopefully that will give me some good luck. I know I will need it.
 Before Mom started to write to you I was able to see that in 3 years I have over 25,500 hits on here & that in 1 months time I have had 667 people visit here. It amazes me & I often wonder what I am saying to make so many follow Mom with my letters to you. I have followers right now in the United States, Canada, France, Germany, Russia & Portugal. For everyone who reads my letters to Tyler....thank you from the bottom of my heart. I do this daily ( most of the time ) to help myself with the continued grieving of losing my only child, my son. Blessings to each & every one of you.
 Today has been another tough day for Mom. 3 years ago on this day Mom buried you. It was held at your resting place in front of several family members & a few close friends. That is the way Mom wanted it. I wanted it to be personal & not crowded. I hope I made the right decision. I often wonder that. The month of June has never been a favorite for me & it just has so many dates that make Mom emotional. I know you don't like seeing Mom this way but please, Tyler, know that I am alright. I am sad that you are not here with me & I long for you to be here but I know that is not what you want any more so I have to be happy for you. I am....really. I just miss you like crazy. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I love you from infinity & beyond. You took my heart the day you left this world. Be kind & gentle with it as you take care of it for Mom. 
 I don't have any updates for you as Mom did not talk to anyone at all last night. It was a quiet night as far as not talking on the phone. I will try to contact Aunt Beck later this week to see how they are & everyone else too. I do however have 4 daily prayers that I need to write to you. Here they are.... June 24~ Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace & pursue it. Help me dear Lord, to seek peace. That might mean I have to back down from a fight. It might mean I don't get my way. It might mean that I don't have to be right all the time. I don't have to win. Help me put aside my selfish goals & consider the needs of others. Give me a sense of what you want in every situation. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Amen.
 June 25~Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings with loud shouts. I like old songs, almighty God. I know how to sing those. The new ones have a different rhythm. They take my voice to places it isn't used to going. But I sing them anyways because it pleases you. Lord, that wants newness all the time? Why does everything have to be fresh & creative with you? Just when I get used to some sort of pattern in my life, something I can count on, you shake it up with a new challenge, as well as a new blessing. Help me see your hand in the new things I don't yet understand & praise you for making all things----including my life---new & beautiful. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. Amen. 
 June 26~ For his anger is but for a moment; his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning. When bad things happen, my Lord, I'm full of questions. Why? If " God is love, " and I believe you are, how can you let us suffer like this? It doesn't make sense. I twist & turn it in my mind & there's no way to make sense of it. If you are Lord of all & I believe you are, can't you prevent disaster? Or are you punishing us for some reason? I don't get it. But then the dawn breaks with...not an answer exactly, but a kind of whisper. " Trust me & love me. " You invite me into this lifetime relationship that's based not on understanding but on loving faith. I may never figure you out, Lord, but I'll keep talking with you about it. And please keep whispering to me. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Amen.
 June 27~ He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. Humility? I've got that covered, Lord. I'm the humblest person in town. No, seriously, I need your help in sorting out this whole self-esteem issue. Is it right for me to feel good about who I am? After all, I'm created by you in your image. What's more, you have redeemed me & filled me with your Spirit. You have even given me certain abilities to use for your glory. I'm not boasting about any of this, but I'm appreciating it. Yet, Lord, I want to stay humble, to keep learning from you. Let me never assume that I know everything I need to know. Let me never claim to have attained some great level of spirituality. Whatever I am, it's your doing. I know that. I just want to feel good about being the person you've made me. The problem with humility is....once you think you have it, you don't. Amen.
 Ok, Tyler....Mom is all caught up with all those prayers. Wow...that was a lot & I won't do that again....lol. The weather today was so beautiful again. The sun is shining & it is in the mid 80's. Mom will be taking an evening walk tonight with the pups so I will be looking to the sky to see if I can see the moon & stars. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Smile & I will do the same. Mom is hoping that your night is filled with all things that you may want to do & what you need to do. Whatever they are I know you will be smiling & shining bright. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my true definition of a Hero & you will always be the wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet precious son. Come see Mom in my dreams tonight. Sweet dreams to you as well. Until tomorrow.....
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!