Dear Tyler,
Hope you got all your balloons on your Birthday! There were so many that went up. I posted all the pictures on here. When I saw them all I felt the love from all our family and friends. I was touched beyond words. You were so loved. I hope you know that. Things here for Mom are going ok. Getting used to Texas and the new apartment. It is really quiet here. Its a small community and a safe area so thats nice for Mom. Aunt Becky and Uncle John are going to drive our stuff to Texas in October. It will be nice to finally see our stuff again after it being in storage for 9 months. It will also give me things to do during the day while Mark is working. After we are settled there.... I am going to look for a job. It will help me pass the time and keep me from thinking so much. I think it is about time that I do this. Writing this blog helps me heal but I need to be around people. I am alone too much. I am hoping to get into a support group as well. That way I can talk to other parents that are going through this or have gone through it. I think it will help me some. I miss you so much. I just need help getting through the days and nights and then I will be ok. Oh yeah... Aunt Becky's friend Forrest called yesterday. We are going to have our session Thursday, August 1st at 1pm. I hope that I get a chance to communicate with you through him. It would be so nice to know you are ok and happy. I think I just need to know this to help myself move forward. I am lost. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont know where I should be or what I should be doing. I kinda just creep through the day hour by hour now. I dont feel I have a purpose any longer. I hate this feeling. It hurts, I hurt. Your dad texted me the other day. He still is not ok. I am still worried about him. I hope the best for him. He told me that " some day things will be better. " I told him yeah someday. Just wonder when that ' someday " will be. I know that you watch over me and you are keeping me safe. Thanks pumpkin. I love you with all my heart. I will write more later. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Tyler's 23rd Birthday Balloon Launch
Dear Tyler,
Hope you enjoyed getting all your balloons tonight on your birthday. They were sent with love from your family and friends who miss you. There were over 40 balloons from over ten states and Canada released this evening in celebration of you. Happy Birthday, Tyler.
I love you with all my heart, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hope you enjoyed getting all your balloons tonight on your birthday. They were sent with love from your family and friends who miss you. There were over 40 balloons from over ten states and Canada released this evening in celebration of you. Happy Birthday, Tyler.
I love you with all my heart, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Dear Tyler,
It took me several minutes to get myself together to write to you today. I wasnt sure on how to word things and I still dont know so I will just speak from the heart as I always do. Today is a special day! It is your 23rd Birthday. I wished you a Happy Birthday on Facebook already but to me thats not enough. I always wanted to give you the world if I could. I wanted the best for you and I did my best to give it to you. I cant believe that 23 years ago you were born. We were both so scared. You entering the world and depending on me and I being so young and wondering if I could do all this. Take care of you and me. Eventually we got the hang of it. We managed through the years. We had our share of fights, arguements, disappoints but we always managed to stick together. It was always you and Mom against the world. We learned together what life was really about. We learned what was important and what wasnt. We laughed, we cried, but again we were together. I never thought that last year would be the last Birthday we would share together. I thought we had so many more years ahead of us. Today is so bittersweet for me. I want to be with you and I want to be sharing your special day with you...together like we always did. I dont want to have to be wishing you Happy Birthday in Heaven. It just isnt right and it isnt fair. You should be getting gifts and things you want. I should be buying you a new computer that you wanted and gadgets to go with it, not picking a head stone out for you. I know you told me so many times that you were tired. You were ready to go to Heaven. I guess I wasnt ready to let you go. I wanted you here with me. I wanted to be selfish. I am sorry for that. You suffered for so many years. You fought a good fight. It is you were just so young. I didnt know if I could be a Mom way back when. I got used to being a Mom, and now I cant stop thinking that I am no longer a Mom. I just didnt want to let that go. It hurts too much. You were the love of my life and you always will be. You are my # 1. No one will ever take that away from me. Happy Birthday to the BEST son a Mom could ask for! Enjoy your balloons that will be released to you in Heaven tonight. Each one is sent with love. Fly high and fly free with them. I love you with all my heart and soul. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
It took me several minutes to get myself together to write to you today. I wasnt sure on how to word things and I still dont know so I will just speak from the heart as I always do. Today is a special day! It is your 23rd Birthday. I wished you a Happy Birthday on Facebook already but to me thats not enough. I always wanted to give you the world if I could. I wanted the best for you and I did my best to give it to you. I cant believe that 23 years ago you were born. We were both so scared. You entering the world and depending on me and I being so young and wondering if I could do all this. Take care of you and me. Eventually we got the hang of it. We managed through the years. We had our share of fights, arguements, disappoints but we always managed to stick together. It was always you and Mom against the world. We learned together what life was really about. We learned what was important and what wasnt. We laughed, we cried, but again we were together. I never thought that last year would be the last Birthday we would share together. I thought we had so many more years ahead of us. Today is so bittersweet for me. I want to be with you and I want to be sharing your special day with you...together like we always did. I dont want to have to be wishing you Happy Birthday in Heaven. It just isnt right and it isnt fair. You should be getting gifts and things you want. I should be buying you a new computer that you wanted and gadgets to go with it, not picking a head stone out for you. I know you told me so many times that you were tired. You were ready to go to Heaven. I guess I wasnt ready to let you go. I wanted you here with me. I wanted to be selfish. I am sorry for that. You suffered for so many years. You fought a good fight. It is you were just so young. I didnt know if I could be a Mom way back when. I got used to being a Mom, and now I cant stop thinking that I am no longer a Mom. I just didnt want to let that go. It hurts too much. You were the love of my life and you always will be. You are my # 1. No one will ever take that away from me. Happy Birthday to the BEST son a Mom could ask for! Enjoy your balloons that will be released to you in Heaven tonight. Each one is sent with love. Fly high and fly free with them. I love you with all my heart and soul. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Dear Tyler,
There is so much I want to tell you pumpkin. I wish Heaven had a phone so I could call you every night and day. I miss you so much. The world just keeps going and everyone for the most part are happy and for me... the world is just turning. I smile and laugh some, but not like I used to. I dont know if I will ever be that person again. I like to think I am trying my hardest. Somedays I would agree and other days not so much. Mark and I are doing ok in Houston. Starting to get to know the area alittle. Did alittle shopping for the new apartment. I said to myself the other day I wish that you could see it, but I know you can. I know you are watching over us. I remember our conversation. I remember you telling me that when it was your time to return to Heaven, you would watch over me every day and you would let me know you were around with giving me a sign. Some have said that you are a hawk, others have said you are flying in the sky watching over family. It makes me smile. I know you are flying high and free. That makes me happy. To be honest with you, I am alittle out of sorts today. I am lost. In 2 days it would have been your Birthday. Usually I am running around making sure things for your party were going ok and everything was all set and this year I cant do that. It makes me so sad. I cant help but feel lost. Please know I am trying. I am doing my best. Every day doesnt get easier, but I manage. You were my world. You still are! I love you all the way around the world and back. Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
There is so much I want to tell you pumpkin. I wish Heaven had a phone so I could call you every night and day. I miss you so much. The world just keeps going and everyone for the most part are happy and for me... the world is just turning. I smile and laugh some, but not like I used to. I dont know if I will ever be that person again. I like to think I am trying my hardest. Somedays I would agree and other days not so much. Mark and I are doing ok in Houston. Starting to get to know the area alittle. Did alittle shopping for the new apartment. I said to myself the other day I wish that you could see it, but I know you can. I know you are watching over us. I remember our conversation. I remember you telling me that when it was your time to return to Heaven, you would watch over me every day and you would let me know you were around with giving me a sign. Some have said that you are a hawk, others have said you are flying in the sky watching over family. It makes me smile. I know you are flying high and free. That makes me happy. To be honest with you, I am alittle out of sorts today. I am lost. In 2 days it would have been your Birthday. Usually I am running around making sure things for your party were going ok and everything was all set and this year I cant do that. It makes me so sad. I cant help but feel lost. Please know I am trying. I am doing my best. Every day doesnt get easier, but I manage. You were my world. You still are! I love you all the way around the world and back. Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hey buddy, I hope you are having a good day. It is super hot here today in Texas. Mom thought she would write to you as she is sitting on the hardwood floor waiting for furniture to arrive.Things are going better and I actually got some sleep last night. I was just on FB and saw this beautiful video of a girl that is getting married and her Dad is dying of cancer. He wont be there to celebrate her day so she set up a Father / Daughter dance with him in a tux and her in her wedding gown. It wont be the same as if he was there but she got the dance none the less. I thought it was something so special between the 2 of them. I cried and cried because it reminded me of when you were taking your last breaths I was singing you our song "Wind Beneath my Wings". You passed from the physical world over to the spiritual world just a few minutes after the song ended. That was another special moment that we got to share. I hope you could hear me and everyone else that joined in. I miss you so much, Tyler. I love you so much too. I alwalys wonder where you are and what you are doing. I wonder if things are the way we are told about if Heaven is really beautiful Aunt Becky is setting something up for Mom with a friend of hers. His name is Forrest and he says that he has seen you already. He is going to have a conversation with me and hopes that we can communicate with eachother. I hope that you do go to him during that time. I would love to know you are there. I have so many questions. Hopefully that will be really soon. Sweet dreams, pumpkin. Continue to watch over Mom, Dad, and our whole family. I love you with all my heart and soul. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hey buddy, I hope you are having a good day. It is super hot here today in Texas. Mom thought she would write to you as she is sitting on the hardwood floor waiting for furniture to arrive.Things are going better and I actually got some sleep last night. I was just on FB and saw this beautiful video of a girl that is getting married and her Dad is dying of cancer. He wont be there to celebrate her day so she set up a Father / Daughter dance with him in a tux and her in her wedding gown. It wont be the same as if he was there but she got the dance none the less. I thought it was something so special between the 2 of them. I cried and cried because it reminded me of when you were taking your last breaths I was singing you our song "Wind Beneath my Wings". You passed from the physical world over to the spiritual world just a few minutes after the song ended. That was another special moment that we got to share. I hope you could hear me and everyone else that joined in. I miss you so much, Tyler. I love you so much too. I alwalys wonder where you are and what you are doing. I wonder if things are the way we are told about if Heaven is really beautiful Aunt Becky is setting something up for Mom with a friend of hers. His name is Forrest and he says that he has seen you already. He is going to have a conversation with me and hopes that we can communicate with eachother. I hope that you do go to him during that time. I would love to know you are there. I have so many questions. Hopefully that will be really soon. Sweet dreams, pumpkin. Continue to watch over Mom, Dad, and our whole family. I love you with all my heart and soul. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Dear Tyler,
I am so sorry that I didnt get a chance to write to you last night. We are now in our apartment in Houston, Texas and we are dealing with the same issues as we did when we arrived in Oklahoma. Everything is a mess. I am sitting here with nothing to do. Just got the internet to work by my cell phone. We have no furniture again for any rooms so I am sitting on the wooden floor. I am just really tired. Didnt sleep much at all last night. Kinda hard when we dont have a bed either. Right now I am just unhappy with the move. It sucks. Nothing is in walking distance or close by at all. The weather is hotter than Oklahoma too. Traffic is unbearable. I never thought I would say this but I miss Oklahoma. I miss you, I miss our family and friends. I just miss home. Anyways....enough of my sob story. As you know, Monday would have been your 23rd Birthday. I cant get you anything so I have decided to honor you by having friends and family release a balloon with a message attached to it or just by saying it out loud when they release theirs. I know you loved balloons so I thought this was pretty special to do. I hope you like them. I hope you smile and laugh too. I want you to know just how much you were and still are loved! I will have some people take pictures of the balloons going up to you so I can post them on here. I would love to see them all. You will be getting balloons sent from New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Canada, Oklahoma, Texas, California, and I am sure a few other states too! I cant express to you how much you are loved. You taught so many people so many different things. You just never knew or thought you did anything special. Boy were you wrong! You were an Angel here on Earth and now a bigger one in Heaven. I love you so much Tyler. I miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day. My life is just not the same. I hate this feeling of being lonely. I hate this void that I feel. It hurts and the pain is sometimes to hard to bare. A mothers love for her child or children is something no one can understand unless you are a Mom. You have a special connection and bond that is beyond words. It kills me because that was taken away from me too soon. I wasnt ready to stop being a Mom. It hurts like hell! I love you more than words can say. You are my everything still. Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
I am so sorry that I didnt get a chance to write to you last night. We are now in our apartment in Houston, Texas and we are dealing with the same issues as we did when we arrived in Oklahoma. Everything is a mess. I am sitting here with nothing to do. Just got the internet to work by my cell phone. We have no furniture again for any rooms so I am sitting on the wooden floor. I am just really tired. Didnt sleep much at all last night. Kinda hard when we dont have a bed either. Right now I am just unhappy with the move. It sucks. Nothing is in walking distance or close by at all. The weather is hotter than Oklahoma too. Traffic is unbearable. I never thought I would say this but I miss Oklahoma. I miss you, I miss our family and friends. I just miss home. Anyways....enough of my sob story. As you know, Monday would have been your 23rd Birthday. I cant get you anything so I have decided to honor you by having friends and family release a balloon with a message attached to it or just by saying it out loud when they release theirs. I know you loved balloons so I thought this was pretty special to do. I hope you like them. I hope you smile and laugh too. I want you to know just how much you were and still are loved! I will have some people take pictures of the balloons going up to you so I can post them on here. I would love to see them all. You will be getting balloons sent from New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Canada, Oklahoma, Texas, California, and I am sure a few other states too! I cant express to you how much you are loved. You taught so many people so many different things. You just never knew or thought you did anything special. Boy were you wrong! You were an Angel here on Earth and now a bigger one in Heaven. I love you so much Tyler. I miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day. My life is just not the same. I hate this feeling of being lonely. I hate this void that I feel. It hurts and the pain is sometimes to hard to bare. A mothers love for her child or children is something no one can understand unless you are a Mom. You have a special connection and bond that is beyond words. It kills me because that was taken away from me too soon. I wasnt ready to stop being a Mom. It hurts like hell! I love you more than words can say. You are my everything still. Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, July 22, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpin. It is night time and a full moon. Houston is such a big city! 2nd night here and it is so confusing. Traffic is terrible. I wish I could talk to you because there is so much I want to tell you about Texas, the pups, basically just life in general. I miss you so much. I know you are with me as much as you can be but it is not the same. So many times I go to pick up the phone to call you, or grab my computer to skype with you. Night time is so hard for me. I talked to Aunt Becky today. We were talking about your Birthday next Monday. Made me so sad . I cant believe that I wont see you this year. I still will sing you Happy Birthday though. l am planning something special for you just the same. You will be the first to know when it happens. I hope you are doing well and are flying free. I love you so much, Tyler. I miss you like crazy. Sweet dreams my precious boy. Always, Mom xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpin. It is night time and a full moon. Houston is such a big city! 2nd night here and it is so confusing. Traffic is terrible. I wish I could talk to you because there is so much I want to tell you about Texas, the pups, basically just life in general. I miss you so much. I know you are with me as much as you can be but it is not the same. So many times I go to pick up the phone to call you, or grab my computer to skype with you. Night time is so hard for me. I talked to Aunt Becky today. We were talking about your Birthday next Monday. Made me so sad . I cant believe that I wont see you this year. I still will sing you Happy Birthday though. l am planning something special for you just the same. You will be the first to know when it happens. I hope you are doing well and are flying free. I love you so much, Tyler. I miss you like crazy. Sweet dreams my precious boy. Always, Mom xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Today , 1 month since you passed away and entered the gates of
Heaven. You passed away at 5:37pm and I looked at the clock at that exact time. It gave me goosebumps. It made me tear up. I just cant believe that it is real. Sometimes I think you are on vacation and we cant talk and then reality sets in. I knew that this day would come but I didnt think it would be this early in your life. You were just so young. I try to think that you did all that you were suppose to do here in the physical world and now you were needed to do bigger jobs up there in the spiritual world. I do believe that you are with me and are watching over me. I know we will forever be together. I miss you so much. I cant explain the void that is in my heart. I cant explain any of my emotions lately. One of these days I will be stronger and will make you proud of me. I love you, Tyler with all my heart. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS Mark n I are traveling all day tomorrow. Please keep us safe while we drive to Texas. Thanxs pumpkin. I love you.
Today , 1 month since you passed away and entered the gates of
Heaven. You passed away at 5:37pm and I looked at the clock at that exact time. It gave me goosebumps. It made me tear up. I just cant believe that it is real. Sometimes I think you are on vacation and we cant talk and then reality sets in. I knew that this day would come but I didnt think it would be this early in your life. You were just so young. I try to think that you did all that you were suppose to do here in the physical world and now you were needed to do bigger jobs up there in the spiritual world. I do believe that you are with me and are watching over me. I know we will forever be together. I miss you so much. I cant explain the void that is in my heart. I cant explain any of my emotions lately. One of these days I will be stronger and will make you proud of me. I love you, Tyler with all my heart. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS Mark n I are traveling all day tomorrow. Please keep us safe while we drive to Texas. Thanxs pumpkin. I love you.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Dear Tyler,
I cant believe hat 1 month has gone by when I received the phone call that shattered my life forever. Mark and I scrambled to get back home to you but the airlines wouldnt even work with us on it. I was so upset, discouraged, and heart broken. Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie, Aunt Becky & Brandy were there though. I am forever thankful to them. I didnt want you to be alone during the night so Meme & Aunt Becky stayed overnight and everyone else came back the next day. We, Dad included also arrived the next day. Thank you so much for hanging on as long as you did. I prayed that night and all through the flights that you would. So many others were praying for you as well. I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did before you passed. I wonder every day if you knew we were there, could you hear us, were you in any pain? These questions haunt me. I guess I wanted to hear you say you loved me 1 last time. I wanted to see you smile and open your eyes. I wanted just 1 more conversation with you. This is so hard living without you. It hurts beyond words. I sometimes think I am in a nightmare and I will wake up and everything will be ok. Wishful thinking I guess. I do hope that you are happy. As I have said before that is all I wanted for you. Still do. Please know that I am having a rough time but I am strong and will make it through. I plan on going to a grieving support group when we get settled in Texas. I think that will help me. Yes.... thats right... I have decided to go with Mark to Texas and try. I love him and want to be with him. I miss our family and friends but I will go visit from time to time and hopefully they will visit too! I love you with all my heart, Tyler. I miss you so much. Sweet dreams. Love you to the moon and back. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
I cant believe hat 1 month has gone by when I received the phone call that shattered my life forever. Mark and I scrambled to get back home to you but the airlines wouldnt even work with us on it. I was so upset, discouraged, and heart broken. Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie, Aunt Becky & Brandy were there though. I am forever thankful to them. I didnt want you to be alone during the night so Meme & Aunt Becky stayed overnight and everyone else came back the next day. We, Dad included also arrived the next day. Thank you so much for hanging on as long as you did. I prayed that night and all through the flights that you would. So many others were praying for you as well. I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did before you passed. I wonder every day if you knew we were there, could you hear us, were you in any pain? These questions haunt me. I guess I wanted to hear you say you loved me 1 last time. I wanted to see you smile and open your eyes. I wanted just 1 more conversation with you. This is so hard living without you. It hurts beyond words. I sometimes think I am in a nightmare and I will wake up and everything will be ok. Wishful thinking I guess. I do hope that you are happy. As I have said before that is all I wanted for you. Still do. Please know that I am having a rough time but I am strong and will make it through. I plan on going to a grieving support group when we get settled in Texas. I think that will help me. Yes.... thats right... I have decided to go with Mark to Texas and try. I love him and want to be with him. I miss our family and friends but I will go visit from time to time and hopefully they will visit too! I love you with all my heart, Tyler. I miss you so much. Sweet dreams. Love you to the moon and back. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Dear Tyler
Nightfall is here again. Today was such a rough day for Mom. It was 1 month ago that we skyped. I never thought it would be the last time I would ever hear your voice. I never could imagine that 2 days later I would loose my precious son. Everything went wrong today. I know you already know but Mark got told he was not assigned to Ohio. His company made a mistake. He is to report to Houston by next Monday, July 22nd. Thats in 4 days. I couldnt believe it. I am crushed beyong words. I talked to Mark and told him that I wouldnt go. I am so bitter and angry at his company for doing this to us again. I never wanted to go to Texas...never. It is putting us further away from family and friends. I need to be close to home not 2000 miles away. I want you to know that Mom will be ok in time. I know you would worry about me so that is why I am explaing things to you. I know Mark told you and promised you he would always take care of me. He has been keeping that promise. It isnt his fault. I dont know why this is happening to me and during the time I am greiving your death, but again I will be ok. Please dont be mad at Mark. There are no choices but to go our seperate ways. He has to take this job so he has income to live and I need to do whats best for me. If I went then I would be pretending to be happy and that would be living a lie. I cant do that. I cant pretend that life is ok when it is not. I hope you understand and will forgive me for these decisions. I know I will probably regret some decisions later down the road, but I will deal with them as they come. My heart is breaking in so many ways. My life is turned upside down. Nothing matters to me. I miss you so much. I wish we could have a conversation. I know you would say that things will be ok. I can hear you saying that to me right now. I miss your voice so much, your smile, your face, your laugh. I just miss you like crazy. This is so painful. No parent should have to feel this way...EVER! Tyler...please be with me and watch over me and everyone else. I love you with all my heart and soul. I love you to the moon and back. Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Nightfall is here again. Today was such a rough day for Mom. It was 1 month ago that we skyped. I never thought it would be the last time I would ever hear your voice. I never could imagine that 2 days later I would loose my precious son. Everything went wrong today. I know you already know but Mark got told he was not assigned to Ohio. His company made a mistake. He is to report to Houston by next Monday, July 22nd. Thats in 4 days. I couldnt believe it. I am crushed beyong words. I talked to Mark and told him that I wouldnt go. I am so bitter and angry at his company for doing this to us again. I never wanted to go to Texas...never. It is putting us further away from family and friends. I need to be close to home not 2000 miles away. I want you to know that Mom will be ok in time. I know you would worry about me so that is why I am explaing things to you. I know Mark told you and promised you he would always take care of me. He has been keeping that promise. It isnt his fault. I dont know why this is happening to me and during the time I am greiving your death, but again I will be ok. Please dont be mad at Mark. There are no choices but to go our seperate ways. He has to take this job so he has income to live and I need to do whats best for me. If I went then I would be pretending to be happy and that would be living a lie. I cant do that. I cant pretend that life is ok when it is not. I hope you understand and will forgive me for these decisions. I know I will probably regret some decisions later down the road, but I will deal with them as they come. My heart is breaking in so many ways. My life is turned upside down. Nothing matters to me. I miss you so much. I wish we could have a conversation. I know you would say that things will be ok. I can hear you saying that to me right now. I miss your voice so much, your smile, your face, your laugh. I just miss you like crazy. This is so painful. No parent should have to feel this way...EVER! Tyler...please be with me and watch over me and everyone else. I love you with all my heart and soul. I love you to the moon and back. Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Dear Tyler,
It is late at night and I find myself not being able to sleep yet so I decided to write to you. I hope you had a busy day today. My day was alright. I spoke to Marion & Charlie, my friend Debbie ( she took your Senior pictures ), and Mark and I got to skype with Jeremy & Ron earlier tonight. We spoke about you in all the conversations. I like talking about you and sharing memories and all the wonderful times. It makes me feel closer to you. I miss you like crazy, but I know you know that. I know you can see me and what I am going through. I am trying so hard to get through this and keep moving forward and not fall back. I am doing the best I can. I know that you would want me to live my life so that you can see my smile and hear me laugh. I will do that in days to come but right now it is just alittle hard to do. I know you will be patience with me. You had that wonderful quality that I wish I had. I always envied you with that. The rest of my day was quiet. Mark worked and I did some housework and watch tv. Nothing major. We are still getting things packed up to head out to Ohio in the next few days. Will keep you posted on the move as I know. I love you pumpkin with all my heart. You mean everything to me. Always have an always will. Sweet dreams. Love always, Mommy xoxoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Lots of stars in the sky tonight. I always look up and wonder where you are and what you are doing. I also wonder if you found your star that Mommy gave you for Christmas. I hope so. I hope you go there often and think of me.
It is late at night and I find myself not being able to sleep yet so I decided to write to you. I hope you had a busy day today. My day was alright. I spoke to Marion & Charlie, my friend Debbie ( she took your Senior pictures ), and Mark and I got to skype with Jeremy & Ron earlier tonight. We spoke about you in all the conversations. I like talking about you and sharing memories and all the wonderful times. It makes me feel closer to you. I miss you like crazy, but I know you know that. I know you can see me and what I am going through. I am trying so hard to get through this and keep moving forward and not fall back. I am doing the best I can. I know that you would want me to live my life so that you can see my smile and hear me laugh. I will do that in days to come but right now it is just alittle hard to do. I know you will be patience with me. You had that wonderful quality that I wish I had. I always envied you with that. The rest of my day was quiet. Mark worked and I did some housework and watch tv. Nothing major. We are still getting things packed up to head out to Ohio in the next few days. Will keep you posted on the move as I know. I love you pumpkin with all my heart. You mean everything to me. Always have an always will. Sweet dreams. Love always, Mommy xoxoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Lots of stars in the sky tonight. I always look up and wonder where you are and what you are doing. I also wonder if you found your star that Mommy gave you for Christmas. I hope so. I hope you go there often and think of me.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Dear Tyler,
I hope that you had a great day today. Mark and I tried to chat with Jeremy but no luck. We havent been able to talk to him and we are getting alittle concerned on this. I know that you 2 were the best of friends and brothers so I feel that we need to make sure he is ok now that you are gone ( physically ). We all know you will watch over him...always! Aunt Shirley emailed me and told me that her & Richard went to visit you today. She cleaned up and removed the wilted flowers and put some silk flowers there. There are several colors and each one has a special meaning. It was so beautiful for what she said. It made me cry. I did something today as well. I decided for the time being I need to stay off facebook for a bit. I need to do some healing. I like seeing what my friends and family are doing and know that everyone is happy and healthy, but it is a constant reminder of what I have lost. What I will never have again. I need to heal and to do that I need to focus on myself. I need to make sure that I am eating, drinking, and getting enough sleep to get through these tough days. I know you understand. I know that you watch over me and everyone else. Please do me a favor.... go be with Dad. I received a text from him today and I am kinda concerned for him. He is not doing well. Worse than the time before we chatted. I hope to talk to him soon and see what is going on and what I can do to help him too. It is late here and I am tired but I wanted to make sure we had our talk tonight just like every night. I miss you my precious son. I love you with all my heart. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
I hope that you had a great day today. Mark and I tried to chat with Jeremy but no luck. We havent been able to talk to him and we are getting alittle concerned on this. I know that you 2 were the best of friends and brothers so I feel that we need to make sure he is ok now that you are gone ( physically ). We all know you will watch over him...always! Aunt Shirley emailed me and told me that her & Richard went to visit you today. She cleaned up and removed the wilted flowers and put some silk flowers there. There are several colors and each one has a special meaning. It was so beautiful for what she said. It made me cry. I did something today as well. I decided for the time being I need to stay off facebook for a bit. I need to do some healing. I like seeing what my friends and family are doing and know that everyone is happy and healthy, but it is a constant reminder of what I have lost. What I will never have again. I need to heal and to do that I need to focus on myself. I need to make sure that I am eating, drinking, and getting enough sleep to get through these tough days. I know you understand. I know that you watch over me and everyone else. Please do me a favor.... go be with Dad. I received a text from him today and I am kinda concerned for him. He is not doing well. Worse than the time before we chatted. I hope to talk to him soon and see what is going on and what I can do to help him too. It is late here and I am tired but I wanted to make sure we had our talk tonight just like every night. I miss you my precious son. I love you with all my heart. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, July 15, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Another night is upon us. I spoke to Aunt Becky tonight. It was a great conversation we had. She told me that you were helping her with some healing work for Dad and I a few nights ago. That was so nice to hear. I know you are doing so many things up there in Heaven. You are a busy young man. I know you are the most amazing Guardian Angel up there. You earned your wings as a little boy many many years ago. I know that you watch over me and so many others. That comforts me in so many ways. I miss you so much. I just want you to be happy and ok. I want you to be free and flying high with a smile on your face. Mom is doing ok.... I have my moments. I laugh, I cry, I am quiet. Days still run into each other and I try my best to put a smile on my face. I long to see your face and hear your voice. In a few short days it will already be 1 month since you passed away. Doesnt even seem possible. Shows me just how much time is passing us all by. Oh yeah..wanted to say thanxs for watching over Uncle Dick. He is home and doing better. Under strict rules by his doctor but thats ok. Bottom line is he is home and with Aunt Jacqui. So again, thanxs pumpkin. Mark is doing well and so are the pups. We are getting ready to go to Ohio for the next 1 1/2 years. Small town this time with a short drive to the city. That is fine by me. We are closer to NH and KY.... near our family and friends. I am also closer to being able to visit you more often. That is what matters the most to me. Mark and I are working on getting you your head stone or perhaps a bench so when people come to visit they can sit down. I think you would like that or at least I hope you would. I love you so much. I cant even express how much but I know you know. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Always and forever, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Another night is upon us. I spoke to Aunt Becky tonight. It was a great conversation we had. She told me that you were helping her with some healing work for Dad and I a few nights ago. That was so nice to hear. I know you are doing so many things up there in Heaven. You are a busy young man. I know you are the most amazing Guardian Angel up there. You earned your wings as a little boy many many years ago. I know that you watch over me and so many others. That comforts me in so many ways. I miss you so much. I just want you to be happy and ok. I want you to be free and flying high with a smile on your face. Mom is doing ok.... I have my moments. I laugh, I cry, I am quiet. Days still run into each other and I try my best to put a smile on my face. I long to see your face and hear your voice. In a few short days it will already be 1 month since you passed away. Doesnt even seem possible. Shows me just how much time is passing us all by. Oh yeah..wanted to say thanxs for watching over Uncle Dick. He is home and doing better. Under strict rules by his doctor but thats ok. Bottom line is he is home and with Aunt Jacqui. So again, thanxs pumpkin. Mark is doing well and so are the pups. We are getting ready to go to Ohio for the next 1 1/2 years. Small town this time with a short drive to the city. That is fine by me. We are closer to NH and KY.... near our family and friends. I am also closer to being able to visit you more often. That is what matters the most to me. Mark and I are working on getting you your head stone or perhaps a bench so when people come to visit they can sit down. I think you would like that or at least I hope you would. I love you so much. I cant even express how much but I know you know. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Always and forever, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hey pumpkin,
Just wanted to tell you a couple things....got an email today stating that your certificate for your star was ready and can be printed. Mark n I decided that we will get it and put it right next to his. This is a bond that you both share together, not to mention many more! Second is that I walked the dogs for the last time tonight and fireworks were going off. I wasnt going to stop but found myself watching and smiling for a few brief minutes. I remember just how much you like fireworks! I love you and miss you so much. Sweet dreams my precious son. All my love, Mom xoxoxo
Just wanted to tell you a couple things....got an email today stating that your certificate for your star was ready and can be printed. Mark n I decided that we will get it and put it right next to his. This is a bond that you both share together, not to mention many more! Second is that I walked the dogs for the last time tonight and fireworks were going off. I wasnt going to stop but found myself watching and smiling for a few brief minutes. I remember just how much you like fireworks! I love you and miss you so much. Sweet dreams my precious son. All my love, Mom xoxoxo
Good morning, Tyler. Traveled all day yesterday to get back to Oklahoma. Dont want to be here anymore. I miss coming to see you and just talking. I need to be near you so I can visit daily.I also need to be with our family and friends. I know you would be upset with how I feel right now. Just know I am trying so hard to feel different. I know you are with me in the spiritual world but its just not enough. I think of you all the time. I miss you so much. I love you, pumpkin. Continue to watch over me and I will continue to work on myself. Snickers and Max miss you too! Love always an forever, Mom xoxo
Hello my precious son. I wanted to stop by and tell you that I miss you so much. I miss your voice, your laughter, your smile and our talks. I lived my life for you and now I am having a hard time living without you and living for myself. I know that you are watching over me and making sure I am safe and ok. I am trying so hard baby to get through the days. Everything seems to run together...days and weeks...hour by hour, minute by minute. I see that your name went in space June 21st. I know you were there for a front row seat. Make sure you go to it from time to time and think of me. Just wanted you to know Mark is taking good care of me. He misses you too. We head back to Oklahoma tomorrow. We will be back soon. We need to get back here to be closer to famiky and I need to visit you daily. You will forever be in my heart. I love you so much. Watch over Mark and I and the rest of the family. I know we have an AMAZING Guardian Angel watching over us. All my love, Mom...xoxoxo
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 This Bible verse is so important to realize and we know your Son finally has freedom after all he had endured....Love you Sheri...Tyler has a beautiful spirit that will live on in all of us.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Today wasnt a great day as you know. Uncle Dick was rushed to the hospital because he couldnt breathe. I called him later this evening and he sounded good. I know you heard me when I asked you to go be with him and take care of him. Thank you pumpkin. Besides that.... today was just like any other day. Got up, took a shower, and put on a happy face for the world. Mark bought me a book with lots of inspirational quotes in it. I plan on sharing them with you and everyone else. Maybe 1 a night in closing or at the beginning of each letter to you. Aunt Shirley was telling me that the flowers Mark, your Dad & I bought for you are all droopy because of the rain. She is going to put some other flowers there to replace those. I hear that lots of people are going to visit you and talk to you. That makes me so happy. I wish that I could. I wish we lived closer so I could go every day. Please know that I did what I did for the family and friends back home. Dad has part of you with him in California and I have part of you around my neck in a 4 Leaf Clover charm. I talk to you every morning and every night. I kiss the pendant daily. I look at your pictures constantly. I miss you so much. When I am outside....day or night I always look up to the sky and wonder what you are doing or where you may be at that time. I just want you to be free and to be happy. I want the best for you and always have. You are my everything and always will be. I will forever love you. Always & forever. You are my HERO! Sweet dreams pumpkin. Continue to watch over us all. Love always, Mommy xoxoxo
Today wasnt a great day as you know. Uncle Dick was rushed to the hospital because he couldnt breathe. I called him later this evening and he sounded good. I know you heard me when I asked you to go be with him and take care of him. Thank you pumpkin. Besides that.... today was just like any other day. Got up, took a shower, and put on a happy face for the world. Mark bought me a book with lots of inspirational quotes in it. I plan on sharing them with you and everyone else. Maybe 1 a night in closing or at the beginning of each letter to you. Aunt Shirley was telling me that the flowers Mark, your Dad & I bought for you are all droopy because of the rain. She is going to put some other flowers there to replace those. I hear that lots of people are going to visit you and talk to you. That makes me so happy. I wish that I could. I wish we lived closer so I could go every day. Please know that I did what I did for the family and friends back home. Dad has part of you with him in California and I have part of you around my neck in a 4 Leaf Clover charm. I talk to you every morning and every night. I kiss the pendant daily. I look at your pictures constantly. I miss you so much. When I am outside....day or night I always look up to the sky and wonder what you are doing or where you may be at that time. I just want you to be free and to be happy. I want the best for you and always have. You are my everything and always will be. I will forever love you. Always & forever. You are my HERO! Sweet dreams pumpkin. Continue to watch over us all. Love always, Mommy xoxoxo
Friday, July 12, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Good Morning my sweet precious son! I wanted to write to you last night, but I was so tired.( I havent been sleeping well since you passed away. I am up all hours of the night and when I do sleep it is very little and I find myself quite restless). I actually went to bed early last night and slept. I woke up a couple times but fell right back to sleep. I feel better this morning and well rested for a change. I have to tell you that when I took the dogs outside last night the stars were shining bright and there were so many. I just kept looking up and I said to Mark that " Tyler is up there somewhere and watching over us all. " I truly believe that you are with me as much as you can be and guiding me to what I need to do and be doing. Sometimes when I look at your pictures I just remember the times that they were taken and other times I look at you and I swear I see you looking right back at me. I love you so much. Mark does too and all the rest of our family and friends. I miss you more than words could ever say. I know that you are doing good things up there and you are busy. Keep it up and continue to be happy. Thats all I want for you....always did. Love you to the moon and back. Always, Mommy <3
Good Morning my sweet precious son! I wanted to write to you last night, but I was so tired.( I havent been sleeping well since you passed away. I am up all hours of the night and when I do sleep it is very little and I find myself quite restless). I actually went to bed early last night and slept. I woke up a couple times but fell right back to sleep. I feel better this morning and well rested for a change. I have to tell you that when I took the dogs outside last night the stars were shining bright and there were so many. I just kept looking up and I said to Mark that " Tyler is up there somewhere and watching over us all. " I truly believe that you are with me as much as you can be and guiding me to what I need to do and be doing. Sometimes when I look at your pictures I just remember the times that they were taken and other times I look at you and I swear I see you looking right back at me. I love you so much. Mark does too and all the rest of our family and friends. I miss you more than words could ever say. I know that you are doing good things up there and you are busy. Keep it up and continue to be happy. Thats all I want for you....always did. Love you to the moon and back. Always, Mommy <3
Thursday, July 11, 2013
He is out of his chair
He is on his feet
No more bruises on his cheeks
infections gone and he can eat
He can play with his hands and his feet
Simple pleasures, exist once more
his body and spirit are restored
He is in pain no more — with Tyler Howard and 8 others.
He is on his feet
No more bruises on his cheeks
infections gone and he can eat
He can play with his hands and his feet
Simple pleasures, exist once more
his body and spirit are restored
He is in pain no more — with Tyler Howard and 8 others.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Dear Tyler,
It feels like a life time since you have passed but really it has only been 2 weeks. There is so much that I want to say to you and I find it hard to right now so please just bare with me. Someone told me after you passed that it is human nature to be selfish by wanting that person to stay with us in the physical world. It doesnt matter it they are in pain, if they are suffering, etc... We want to be able to see them and hear their voice if possible. We want this because thats all we know. You have a very smart Dad. He is right. We all react this way when we lose a loved one near and dear to our hearts. I want you to know that I understand why you were tired, why you couldnt go on in this world. People go through the grieving stages and get angry because their loved loves left them. I WILL never get mad at you. You hung on for so many years, I praised you all the time and will continue to every day. You are my true HERO. You had so much strength and courage every day. You fought and fought everything you were faced with. I will forever be grateful for all the years I had with you. I say this every night....You, Tyler, are my everything. I love you with all my heart and soul. I miss you like crazy, but I know you are with me every day. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Love always, Mommy <3
P.S. You already know this but God brought another one of his Angels home today. You know him personally so please guide him and show him the ropes up there.
It feels like a life time since you have passed but really it has only been 2 weeks. There is so much that I want to say to you and I find it hard to right now so please just bare with me. Someone told me after you passed that it is human nature to be selfish by wanting that person to stay with us in the physical world. It doesnt matter it they are in pain, if they are suffering, etc... We want to be able to see them and hear their voice if possible. We want this because thats all we know. You have a very smart Dad. He is right. We all react this way when we lose a loved one near and dear to our hearts. I want you to know that I understand why you were tired, why you couldnt go on in this world. People go through the grieving stages and get angry because their loved loves left them. I WILL never get mad at you. You hung on for so many years, I praised you all the time and will continue to every day. You are my true HERO. You had so much strength and courage every day. You fought and fought everything you were faced with. I will forever be grateful for all the years I had with you. I say this every night....You, Tyler, are my everything. I love you with all my heart and soul. I miss you like crazy, but I know you are with me every day. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Love always, Mommy <3
P.S. You already know this but God brought another one of his Angels home today. You know him personally so please guide him and show him the ropes up there.
Oklahoma sure knows how to set off the fireworks! Didnt need to go anywhere or drive...we just walked outside and they were lighting up the sky in every direction. Been 2 hours now and they are still going off...wow! Some were really pretty. Smiled and remembered the times with Tyler. He had the best seat in the world to see the fireworks! Love you and miss you every day
It has been awhile since I have been on here.....the letters, the support, the memories, the love that myself and my family have received during this extremely difficult time has been incredible. I have personally read each and every one of the messages on FB, private messages, and ones left on Tylers page. Thank you so much. Today, I lay my son, Tyler to rest.
(These last few days have been the toughest.) Words cant begin to describe the void that I have in my heart. It is not the circle of life to bury your child. No one should have to go through this pain.
To Tyler,
You were and still are my world. I am honored to have been chosen to be your Mom. You are my Hero, my strength, my love , and my entire life. You are FOREVER in my heart. There is no other love like there is for a Mother and her child or children. I love you all the way around the universe and back. I miss you so much, I miss your voice, I miss your smile, your laugh, and your jokes.
I know you are at peace now. You are happy and smiling, walking, and doing everything you have wanted to do or so long now....just wish I could see it too. Watch over me and give me a sign that you are near. Fly my precious Son.....fly and be free.
All my love......Mom xoxoxo
(These last few days have been the toughest.) Words cant begin to describe the void that I have in my heart. It is not the circle of life to bury your child. No one should have to go through this pain.
To Tyler,
You were and still are my world. I am honored to have been chosen to be your Mom. You are my Hero, my strength, my love , and my entire life. You are FOREVER in my heart. There is no other love like there is for a Mother and her child or children. I love you all the way around the universe and back. I miss you so much, I miss your voice, I miss your smile, your laugh, and your jokes.
I know you are at peace now. You are happy and smiling, walking, and doing everything you have wanted to do or so long now....just wish I could see it too. Watch over me and give me a sign that you are near. Fly my precious Son.....fly and be free.
All my love......Mom xoxoxo
Dear Tyler,
I find it helpful for me to heal by writing to you daily. Some people will understand as others may not. I believe in my heart that you know I write to you and you read them...again everyone has their beliefs and may feel its foolish, but honestly I dont care. It means alot to me and thats all that matters. I am trying on a daily basis to continue to go on without you here in the physical world. I lived my life for you by taking care of you and making you my whole world. Now there is a void and I cant see you or talk to you anymore. I am having such a hard time living and moving forward without you. I will continue to work on myself because I know you wouldnt want me to feel this way. I know you want me to be happy for you that you are free and can do all the things you long to do. Please know that I am happy for you...guess I long to see it. People dont know and maybe not even you did, but I grieved for you for the last 20 yrs. Every day...the things you missed when you were a child, the things you didnt or couldnt do as a teenager, and the things you didnt do as a youn man. I know you want me to be happy too. I am trying..really I am. I have good days and bad days. Today is a rough one for me. Several people think that I am still the strongest person they know and met....maybe that might be true but somedays its just a mask that I put on. When you passed away 2 weeks ago... I cried and cried...alot of me died with you but people didnt see that. They said I was so composed at your wake, funeral, and burial. I guess I was strong for everyone else. Guess that is why I received my hawk feather from you. The meaning fits! Thank you for that. I just wanted you to know all these things. You are forever with me, Tyler. You will always be my little boy and I will always love you more than life itself. As always... watch over Mom and the rest of us. Be happy and fly high and free my precious son. Love you to the moon and back. Always, Mom xoxoxo
I find it helpful for me to heal by writing to you daily. Some people will understand as others may not. I believe in my heart that you know I write to you and you read them...again everyone has their beliefs and may feel its foolish, but honestly I dont care. It means alot to me and thats all that matters. I am trying on a daily basis to continue to go on without you here in the physical world. I lived my life for you by taking care of you and making you my whole world. Now there is a void and I cant see you or talk to you anymore. I am having such a hard time living and moving forward without you. I will continue to work on myself because I know you wouldnt want me to feel this way. I know you want me to be happy for you that you are free and can do all the things you long to do. Please know that I am happy for you...guess I long to see it. People dont know and maybe not even you did, but I grieved for you for the last 20 yrs. Every day...the things you missed when you were a child, the things you didnt or couldnt do as a teenager, and the things you didnt do as a youn man. I know you want me to be happy too. I am trying..really I am. I have good days and bad days. Today is a rough one for me. Several people think that I am still the strongest person they know and met....maybe that might be true but somedays its just a mask that I put on. When you passed away 2 weeks ago... I cried and cried...alot of me died with you but people didnt see that. They said I was so composed at your wake, funeral, and burial. I guess I was strong for everyone else. Guess that is why I received my hawk feather from you. The meaning fits! Thank you for that. I just wanted you to know all these things. You are forever with me, Tyler. You will always be my little boy and I will always love you more than life itself. As always... watch over Mom and the rest of us. Be happy and fly high and free my precious son. Love you to the moon and back. Always, Mom xoxoxo
Hi Tyler,
Its night time now and I just got done watching the new Superman movie...Man of Steel. I would be lying if I said it made me sad watching it. We always went to the movies to see these. I did learn something from watching it though. The "S" on the chest of his suit to humans meant Superman which Lois Lane gave him but in his world it wasnt an " S" and wasnt a letter..it meant " Hope". That touched me. You and Christopher Reeves gave HOPE to many and taught us so much. You were a teacher to me and many more. For that I thank you. I love you. Sweet dreams my precious son. Muah, Mom xoxoxo
Its night time now and I just got done watching the new Superman movie...Man of Steel. I would be lying if I said it made me sad watching it. We always went to the movies to see these. I did learn something from watching it though. The "S" on the chest of his suit to humans meant Superman which Lois Lane gave him but in his world it wasnt an " S" and wasnt a letter..it meant " Hope". That touched me. You and Christopher Reeves gave HOPE to many and taught us so much. You were a teacher to me and many more. For that I thank you. I love you. Sweet dreams my precious son. Muah, Mom xoxoxo
Dear Tyler,
Another day is over with. It is night time again. Every day all day is tough, but the nights are the hardest. So many times I go to get the phone or my computer to skype you and then I remember I cant do that anymore. The pain and void is so incredible...more than I can explain to people unless they too lost a child. I just want you to know that I am trying my best, but I believe that you already know this. Your Dad texted me the other night. He isnt doing well either. He misses you so much too. I know that you watch over me and our family, and you watch over Dad too, but I want you to watch over him alittle extra. Mom has a wonderful support system with Mark, all our family, and so many friends to help me through this pain....your Dad has no support. Nobody understands how he feels or what he is going through. Please be with Dad, Ty and help him out. Let him know you are there. I need you near me, but Daddy needs you more. I love you with all my heart. I love you to the moon and back. You are my everything and always will be. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Muah xoxoxo, Mommy
Another day is over with. It is night time again. Every day all day is tough, but the nights are the hardest. So many times I go to get the phone or my computer to skype you and then I remember I cant do that anymore. The pain and void is so incredible...more than I can explain to people unless they too lost a child. I just want you to know that I am trying my best, but I believe that you already know this. Your Dad texted me the other night. He isnt doing well either. He misses you so much too. I know that you watch over me and our family, and you watch over Dad too, but I want you to watch over him alittle extra. Mom has a wonderful support system with Mark, all our family, and so many friends to help me through this pain....your Dad has no support. Nobody understands how he feels or what he is going through. Please be with Dad, Ty and help him out. Let him know you are there. I need you near me, but Daddy needs you more. I love you with all my heart. I love you to the moon and back. You are my everything and always will be. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Muah xoxoxo, Mommy
Once again it is night time and I find myself writing to you. It makes me feel closer to you and it is helping me heal. Today was an okay day for me....only cried for a couple hours throughout the day. I cried for missing you, for a friend losing her Mom, and for the family in Charlestown who lost a daughter/mom. Sometimes I just don't understand why people have to go through pain like this. I know we are not suppose to question it.....like I said I don't understand. It is just not fair. Anyways....
Mark is still taking good care of me. He has been my rock through this along with all our family. We all talk about you several times a day. I look at your pictures all the time. Sure do miss your smile and voice along with everything else. Max n Snickers miss you . I talk to them about you too. They know something happened. They sense it.
Hope you are doing ok and are crazy busy up there. I hope you are happy. I love you so much always and forever. Sweet dreams pumpkin.
All my love,
Mommy
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