Dear Tyler,

Hey Buddy! I hope you are having a good day today. For Mom it is definitely a Monday for sure. What cold go wrong has and it just seems to be getting worse. I am so tired of the dark black cloud hanging over my head. I try to stay positive and have a good attitude but it is really hard when others are always want to knock you down every way that they possibly can. It hurts and it is sad. I know I will be ok because I have you watching over me and I have you by my side. I hope you got a chance today to go see Grandpa for his Birthday. I spoke to him earlier and he said he was having a great day. The weather was not too hot, not too cold, it was just right. I was happy to hear that. He deserves a wonderful day. Like I said before he goes to visit you often. He doesn't show it to any of us but I know he misses you so much. I know you already know this. He loves you and was always so proud of you...as we all were and still are. You are missed so much. I can't even express how much. I guess everyone in NH is getting used to enjoying the Fall Season. The weather has been much colder than normal. Guess it got down to 30 degrees the other night and the mountains even got snow. I was surprised. That's even cold for September. Everyone back home is enjoying the apple picking, the baking, and the crisp air. I never thought I would say this but I miss it too. I said I wanted something different. I wanted a change but I guess after 8 months I just want to return to what I know. I miss the usual, the normal, what I have always known in my life. I am trying to get used to the hot, the humid, the rain, and the tornado's. Every day it seems that I am missing you, friends and family more and more. Time is not making it easier. It is getting harder. It sucks. It makes me sad. I miss you so much. Words can't even describe it. I know you know and feel it. I am trying so hard but I won't pretend or live a lie. That is not me. I am going to continue to search for your star. I want to find it so bad. I think it will make me feel closer to you in some ways. I am going to try and look at it later this evening. I want to take pictures of it and frame it so I have it forever. I hope you go to your Star and visit it often. I hope you like it! I hope you have a great night and have many sweet dreams. I love you unconditionally. I always will. Take care my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!