Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Monday night? Mom is doing as well as can be. The weather today seemed like it was beautiful when you were inside but when you went outside it was a different story. The wind was whipping so bad. Mom would say it was like 35 mph winds. It was crazy. Ozzy loved it because he was chasing the leaves around but Princess hated it & didn't want to be outside. It was very cute watching the little guy. I know you were watching & thought so as well. It was a busy day for Mom too.... up really early & did all the normal routine things plus did laundry & studied some more. My brain is in overload mode again. I am almost done studying the guide that I need to. Looks like I will be right on track with starting the test in the next week. That makes Mom happy. The earlier I can finish up the earlier I can go look for a job. I really want this so bad. You know Mom, I have always been independent & these last 4 years have been brutal on Mom having to rely on Mark for everything. I can't wait to have my own job, my own vehicle to go out whenever I want, my own money to do as I please. It will be so nice. Such freedom that I have been wanting & needing for so long again. On the flip side of that though I have been very fortunate that I was able to take this time off & do nothing outside the home. Mom needed this time to grieve the loss of you, I needed this time so that I could pull myself back together. I know I am better than where I was 4 years ago but I will never be completely healed. I am in a better place with my grieving for the most part. I can at least hold it together most of the time. I am trying my best pumpkin. I really am. I want to make you proud. Just be patience with me, ok? Just a little bit longer. Thank you my sweet precious son!
 Today, Mom spoke with Meme during her lunch break & later again this evening. She is so upset about so many things. She is angry, disgusted, sad & every other emotion you can think of. It breaks my heart at it all. She has also been sick for the past week or so. If you can, please go be with her & Bob too. Thank you so much. Mom really appreciates it. Grandpa called earlier & I need to call him back after I finish this letter to you. I am sure that all is well with him & Debbie. I will give you that update tomorrow. As you can tell, Mom is pretty angry right now. I am not sure what to do at this point. Like Meme, I am so done with it all. I can't seem to catch a break. Please be with Mom as I need you Tyler. I just need you to be next to Mom holding my hand & whispering to me that everything will be ok in time. That is what I need. I need you. I miss you so much. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I think that is all I have for right now. I think maybe I said too much. If so, Mom is so sorry. I know I don't need to explain anything to you as you see, hear & feel all. 
 Here is your daily prayer for today. March 7~ Even so ye, forasmuch as ye are zealous of spiritual gifts, seek that ye may excel to the edifying of the church. Inspired by you, Great God, & grateful for the unique gifts we're discovering, we toss ourselves into the stream of life to make ripples wherever we are. In your hands, our gifts can offer a gift that keeps on making ever-widening circles to reach all those stranded on the shore. Amen.
 The night sky is now upon us & the sky is so cloudy. Guess Mom will not to be seeing any stars or the moon shining. I didn't get to see any last night as well & the sky was clear. That is ok though because Mom will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for my voice, ok? I will try to smile when I am talking to you. I will blow you kisses as well. Hope you catch them all. May your night be all that you want & need it to be. Sweet dreams & come see me in my dreams tonight as well. Remember you are always in my heart, mind & soul. You will always be my hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings. Good night Tyler. I love you pumpkin.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!