Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son in Heaven! How are you doing today? I hope that this letter finds you well. Mom is doing ok. It has been a full day and I have been busy. I have been reflecting on all that 2013 brought Mom. The good times, the bad times, and the complete sad times. In just a few short hours.. 7 to be exact it will be a New Year..2014! I can't get over how fast a year goes by now. Mark & I are doing nothing! We are staying in and watching the ball drop on tv. We know the streets in our city will be so busy and we really don't want to be out in that or be a part of it so staying in and being safe is the way to go for us this year. I am ok with that. Haven't had a quiet New Years Eve in a very long time so I think the change will be good for us.
I wanted to let you know that I don't plan on making any New Year Resolutions because I always seem to break them and get mad at myself so I decided that this year I will just focus on myself. I plan on eating healthy, continuing to exercise to stay fit ( and healthy ), and continue to relearn to live my life without you now, relearn who I am, relearn to smile again, and relearn to be happy. It is so hard to live without you, but I know you are up there in Heaven wanting to smack me every time I cry or I get upset. I know you want to shout " Stop it... I am here with you..just in a different way now ". I am going to start thinking positive and see the positive in things instead of the negative. I have a lot to work on but I know the outcome will be great and I will have 1 proud Son up in Heaven saying " That's my Mom! "
I wonder if you will be Celebrating up in Heaven with all the Angels tonight or if it is just an ordinary night for you???? If you do get to Celebrate have lots of fun up there with Uncle Keith, Ron, Amy, and the rest of the gang. Tell them that we all say Happy New Year and that we miss them.
The weather here has been really cold..a mere 45 degrees and it has been overcast and cloudy all day long. Looks like the stars won't be able to be seen again in the sky tonight. Doesn't matter because I know you are up there shining bright for us all. You are watching over us like you always do. Thank you so much for this. It means a lot to Mom to have you do all that you do for me and our family and friends on a daily basis. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you tonight. I love you more than life itself. I miss you like crazy.
I hope that you have a peaceful night in Heaven. Fly high and fly free. Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Please watch over Uncle Dick as he is in the Hospital in Massachusetts. Sounds like it was something minor that has turned into something more. I am awaiting an update on things. Thanks Tyler :)
Hi my sweet son in Heaven! How are you doing today? I hope that this letter finds you well. Mom is doing ok. It has been a full day and I have been busy. I have been reflecting on all that 2013 brought Mom. The good times, the bad times, and the complete sad times. In just a few short hours.. 7 to be exact it will be a New Year..2014! I can't get over how fast a year goes by now. Mark & I are doing nothing! We are staying in and watching the ball drop on tv. We know the streets in our city will be so busy and we really don't want to be out in that or be a part of it so staying in and being safe is the way to go for us this year. I am ok with that. Haven't had a quiet New Years Eve in a very long time so I think the change will be good for us.
I wanted to let you know that I don't plan on making any New Year Resolutions because I always seem to break them and get mad at myself so I decided that this year I will just focus on myself. I plan on eating healthy, continuing to exercise to stay fit ( and healthy ), and continue to relearn to live my life without you now, relearn who I am, relearn to smile again, and relearn to be happy. It is so hard to live without you, but I know you are up there in Heaven wanting to smack me every time I cry or I get upset. I know you want to shout " Stop it... I am here with you..just in a different way now ". I am going to start thinking positive and see the positive in things instead of the negative. I have a lot to work on but I know the outcome will be great and I will have 1 proud Son up in Heaven saying " That's my Mom! "
I wonder if you will be Celebrating up in Heaven with all the Angels tonight or if it is just an ordinary night for you???? If you do get to Celebrate have lots of fun up there with Uncle Keith, Ron, Amy, and the rest of the gang. Tell them that we all say Happy New Year and that we miss them.
The weather here has been really cold..a mere 45 degrees and it has been overcast and cloudy all day long. Looks like the stars won't be able to be seen again in the sky tonight. Doesn't matter because I know you are up there shining bright for us all. You are watching over us like you always do. Thank you so much for this. It means a lot to Mom to have you do all that you do for me and our family and friends on a daily basis. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you tonight. I love you more than life itself. I miss you like crazy.
I hope that you have a peaceful night in Heaven. Fly high and fly free. Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Please watch over Uncle Dick as he is in the Hospital in Massachusetts. Sounds like it was something minor that has turned into something more. I am awaiting an update on things. Thanks Tyler :)
Monday, December 30, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son in Heaven. How are you doing today? I hope that you are doing everything you want and you are keeping busy up there. I hope you are just so happy! Mom is doing ok today. Tired from really not sleeping last night all that much but other than that I am well. Today was the first day in 3 weeks that I got to work out. It felt great. I missed it so much! Usually if something happens and I have to stop I don't really care to go back to it but this time was different for some reason. I missed it greatly and I was happy to being doing my old routine. I want to get back to the eating right and be healthy again. So this is the best time to get to restart it, right? New Year??? Sounds good to me. Mark and I took the pups for a walk as well. A small one tonight as it is pretty cold here today. Snicks was freezing his little buns off and shaking so we didn't stay out long at all.
When we were out I was looking to the sky and there were just so many clouds that no stars were shining. I did however whisper to you as I do every night. I know you are up there and shining bright. I hope you heard Mom.
Thinking of doing something that I saw on Facebook today. With it being a new year and all.. they are suggesting to get an empty jar and as often as one wants to, write on small pieces of paper all the things that are good thoughts, memories, etc... then on next New Year's Eve you are suppose to take the jar and empty it out and read all the wonderful things that happened during that year. I think that is really neat. I wish that I would have seen this when you were still with Mom. We could have done this together and read them at the end of the year. It would have been a wonderful thing for us to do. I miss you so much, Tyler. I really do. Words can't express just how much it hurts me to not talk to you, with you, to not see you, to not hear your voice. It really sucks for Mom. I just miss it all. I don't think this feeling will ever go away. I don't know how to change it. I don't know what to do. Most days I keep myself busy doing small things or stupid things so that I don't lose my mind. I am so lost with out you. Mark does a great job in helping me. He is there for Mom to lean on when I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to me when I want to talk about you. I am so thankful for that. Mark has been my true rock in all this. I know you are thankful for Mark as well. I will continue to try and carry on. I will not let you down. I promise you!!!
When we take the pups out for the final time tonight I will look to the sky and see if I see any stars. If not I will whisper to you again. I hope you will hear Mom again. Have a wonderful night my precious son. You are my precious Angel that I love so so much. Please watch over Mom & Mark and the rest of our family and friends. Keep them safe from all the snow that they are getting. ( We don't miss that do we??? ) :)
Sweet dreams Tyler. I love you to the moon and back. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son in Heaven. How are you doing today? I hope that you are doing everything you want and you are keeping busy up there. I hope you are just so happy! Mom is doing ok today. Tired from really not sleeping last night all that much but other than that I am well. Today was the first day in 3 weeks that I got to work out. It felt great. I missed it so much! Usually if something happens and I have to stop I don't really care to go back to it but this time was different for some reason. I missed it greatly and I was happy to being doing my old routine. I want to get back to the eating right and be healthy again. So this is the best time to get to restart it, right? New Year??? Sounds good to me. Mark and I took the pups for a walk as well. A small one tonight as it is pretty cold here today. Snicks was freezing his little buns off and shaking so we didn't stay out long at all.
When we were out I was looking to the sky and there were just so many clouds that no stars were shining. I did however whisper to you as I do every night. I know you are up there and shining bright. I hope you heard Mom.
Thinking of doing something that I saw on Facebook today. With it being a new year and all.. they are suggesting to get an empty jar and as often as one wants to, write on small pieces of paper all the things that are good thoughts, memories, etc... then on next New Year's Eve you are suppose to take the jar and empty it out and read all the wonderful things that happened during that year. I think that is really neat. I wish that I would have seen this when you were still with Mom. We could have done this together and read them at the end of the year. It would have been a wonderful thing for us to do. I miss you so much, Tyler. I really do. Words can't express just how much it hurts me to not talk to you, with you, to not see you, to not hear your voice. It really sucks for Mom. I just miss it all. I don't think this feeling will ever go away. I don't know how to change it. I don't know what to do. Most days I keep myself busy doing small things or stupid things so that I don't lose my mind. I am so lost with out you. Mark does a great job in helping me. He is there for Mom to lean on when I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to me when I want to talk about you. I am so thankful for that. Mark has been my true rock in all this. I know you are thankful for Mark as well. I will continue to try and carry on. I will not let you down. I promise you!!!
When we take the pups out for the final time tonight I will look to the sky and see if I see any stars. If not I will whisper to you again. I hope you will hear Mom again. Have a wonderful night my precious son. You are my precious Angel that I love so so much. Please watch over Mom & Mark and the rest of our family and friends. Keep them safe from all the snow that they are getting. ( We don't miss that do we??? ) :)
Sweet dreams Tyler. I love you to the moon and back. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today? I hope that all is well up there in the beautiful sky that we call Heaven. It was a really nice day here in Texas. The sun was shining, blue skies and no clouds all day long. The temp was 65 degrees. Perfect weather to just simply enjoy. Mom is doing really well today. Had a busy weekend. Saturday I went out and did some fun shopping. Grandpa gave Mark & I money for Christmas so we went out and spent the money on goodies for ourselves. Got some clothes, shoes, Paris stuff, and also a French Press so that Mark can make coffee. All in all it was a great day. We took the pups for a walk later in the day and then relaxed and watch a couple movies at night. I am so sorry I didn't write to you last night but I was just relaxing from the day out. It was my first time out in 2 weeks so it took a lot out of me. Today we went grocery shopping at Krogers and Walmart and then came back and took the pups out for another long walk. Did some house work and laundry and now waiting to eat dinner. We will relax later tonight and watch some tv and then go to bed as it is a work day for Mark tomorrow.
I can't believe that in a couple days it will be the end of 2013 and the beginning of a New Year. You know that New Years is Mom's favorite Holiday. I always have said it is a time to leave the past in the old year and be refreshed with a new year ahead of us. I still will stick to my philosophy but it will be pretty hard for Mom. I can't just leave it all in the past because of losing you. I can leave the rest behind and move forward but not when it comes to you. I never will be able to do this. You were such a huge part of Mom that the day I lost you I lost part of myself too. It was always you & I. People came and went out of our lives but we always remained together. Now I don't even have that anymore. I miss you so much. I miss all of our times together. The good, the bad, the crazy, and the ugly. What I wouldn't do to get that back. I know you are still around Mom... it is just in a different way now. Some days are better than others to digest that. Just bare with me still. It is just so hard to handle at times. I promised you that I would be ok and I will keep that promise to you. I will NEVER break that. I just have some off days.
The clouds rolled in a little while ago so I am crossing my fingers in hopes that I will be able to see some stars up there in the sky. I would love to see you shining brightly up there. Regardless I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for Mom. Please continue to watch over us all. I miss you beyond anything anyone could ever imagine and I love you to the moon and back. You continue to still be my world. Again that will NEVER change. Fly high and fly freely up there with the other Angels my precious son. Have a wonderful night and sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today? I hope that all is well up there in the beautiful sky that we call Heaven. It was a really nice day here in Texas. The sun was shining, blue skies and no clouds all day long. The temp was 65 degrees. Perfect weather to just simply enjoy. Mom is doing really well today. Had a busy weekend. Saturday I went out and did some fun shopping. Grandpa gave Mark & I money for Christmas so we went out and spent the money on goodies for ourselves. Got some clothes, shoes, Paris stuff, and also a French Press so that Mark can make coffee. All in all it was a great day. We took the pups for a walk later in the day and then relaxed and watch a couple movies at night. I am so sorry I didn't write to you last night but I was just relaxing from the day out. It was my first time out in 2 weeks so it took a lot out of me. Today we went grocery shopping at Krogers and Walmart and then came back and took the pups out for another long walk. Did some house work and laundry and now waiting to eat dinner. We will relax later tonight and watch some tv and then go to bed as it is a work day for Mark tomorrow.
I can't believe that in a couple days it will be the end of 2013 and the beginning of a New Year. You know that New Years is Mom's favorite Holiday. I always have said it is a time to leave the past in the old year and be refreshed with a new year ahead of us. I still will stick to my philosophy but it will be pretty hard for Mom. I can't just leave it all in the past because of losing you. I can leave the rest behind and move forward but not when it comes to you. I never will be able to do this. You were such a huge part of Mom that the day I lost you I lost part of myself too. It was always you & I. People came and went out of our lives but we always remained together. Now I don't even have that anymore. I miss you so much. I miss all of our times together. The good, the bad, the crazy, and the ugly. What I wouldn't do to get that back. I know you are still around Mom... it is just in a different way now. Some days are better than others to digest that. Just bare with me still. It is just so hard to handle at times. I promised you that I would be ok and I will keep that promise to you. I will NEVER break that. I just have some off days.
The clouds rolled in a little while ago so I am crossing my fingers in hopes that I will be able to see some stars up there in the sky. I would love to see you shining brightly up there. Regardless I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for Mom. Please continue to watch over us all. I miss you beyond anything anyone could ever imagine and I love you to the moon and back. You continue to still be my world. Again that will NEVER change. Fly high and fly freely up there with the other Angels my precious son. Have a wonderful night and sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, December 27, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hello my sweet son. How are you doing today? I hope that all is well in Heaven. Mom is doing alright. I am so sorry that I didn't write you a letter yesterday. I guess I wasn't feeling like myself all day. I didn't care to do anything and I actually didn't start doing anything until 3 pm. It was just a really off day for me. Guess I will have days like that but I hope that they won't be to often. I really didn't like the feeling at all.
Today is Bean's Birthday so make sure you go say Happy Birthday Brat to her but do not scare her! I can't believe that she is 22 years old. I remember the day that Aunt Becky went into labor with her. Boy was that a long time and pure hell for us all. Bean just didn't want to come out. Sounds like someone else I know.... You were just as stubborn :)
Things here is Texas are going about the same. Mark and I are doing well. The pups are just being themselves as always. Max is getting so old. He mostly sleeps now. Eats when hungry and drinks when thirsty. Goes outside when needed. Snickers sleeps a lot too. He doesn't play as much as he used to with his toys. Every once and a while he will get some energy and play, but that is it. Snicker still tends to be grumpy and growls a lot at us all. No biting though... that is a good thing. We are enjoying the Winter here. It is just so nice. 50 & 60's during the day and 35 to 40 during the night. I am enjoying not having any snow thats for sure. I know that Mark is enjoying it as well and the pups seem to be happy too. We try to take them for a walk daily. Good exercise for us all. Mom is going nuts because of the 2 weeks being sick and then needing to let my leg heal I haven't been able to exercise for 3 weeks and I am going insane. I actually miss it! I had so much energy and felt great when I could. I am hoping that I will be able to start next week. It would be nice!
I haven't been able to tell you even though I believe that you already know but we will be leaving Texas soon and moving again. Mark's contract is going faster than expected so we needed to secure work for when it happens. The move will take place sometime around July/ August when the weather is good. I again believe that you already know where we are going so I don't feel the need to say it on here at this time. When it gets closer to the move I will be sure to share it with everyone else.
There is something else that will be taking place next year as well. Next December 20th Mark and I will be making it official and we will be getting married. I know this makes you so happy and I know that you are hugging us both. You loved Mark and we all knew this. We all knew how you felt about him. Mark and I will NEVER forget our last conversation with you and what you said. That is forever in our mind and in our hearts. It was the sweetest thing for you to say to Mark and for Mom to hear. Brought tears to both of us. Still does when I think about it. I thank Amy every day for introducing us to Mark. I think I finally got this one right. I am truly in love with Mark. He completes me and I believe he is my soul mate. We hardly ever argue and our lives are drama free. We have learned to listen to other people and their problems but not get into it and try to fix them and make them our own. I wish I would have learned this so many years ago. I could've saved myself from a ton of heartache. Everything happens for a reason and in the time frame it is supposed to. I will fill you in on all the Wedding details as we discuss them as we know. I want you to know that the Wedding will not be the same because you and Amy will not be there with us in the physical form that day. I will tell you that I have something very special for the 2 of you though. It will be done in love and in honor to you both. More on that later though!!!
The weather is overcast and cloudy AGAIN... ugh! I did not see any stars last night when going outside with the pups. I am hoping I get to see them tonight. I know you are there shining brightly for Mom to see. I know you watch over us and all our family and friends. Thank you for all that you do. It means so much to me and I know it means a lot to everyone else too. Be listening for Mom when I whisper to you tonight. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. It was always you and I against the world..now as you want Mom to say it is you and I for the world!!! Always & forever. Have a wonderful peaceful night my precious son. Sweet dreams and fly high and fly free up there.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hello my sweet son. How are you doing today? I hope that all is well in Heaven. Mom is doing alright. I am so sorry that I didn't write you a letter yesterday. I guess I wasn't feeling like myself all day. I didn't care to do anything and I actually didn't start doing anything until 3 pm. It was just a really off day for me. Guess I will have days like that but I hope that they won't be to often. I really didn't like the feeling at all.
Today is Bean's Birthday so make sure you go say Happy Birthday Brat to her but do not scare her! I can't believe that she is 22 years old. I remember the day that Aunt Becky went into labor with her. Boy was that a long time and pure hell for us all. Bean just didn't want to come out. Sounds like someone else I know.... You were just as stubborn :)
Things here is Texas are going about the same. Mark and I are doing well. The pups are just being themselves as always. Max is getting so old. He mostly sleeps now. Eats when hungry and drinks when thirsty. Goes outside when needed. Snickers sleeps a lot too. He doesn't play as much as he used to with his toys. Every once and a while he will get some energy and play, but that is it. Snicker still tends to be grumpy and growls a lot at us all. No biting though... that is a good thing. We are enjoying the Winter here. It is just so nice. 50 & 60's during the day and 35 to 40 during the night. I am enjoying not having any snow thats for sure. I know that Mark is enjoying it as well and the pups seem to be happy too. We try to take them for a walk daily. Good exercise for us all. Mom is going nuts because of the 2 weeks being sick and then needing to let my leg heal I haven't been able to exercise for 3 weeks and I am going insane. I actually miss it! I had so much energy and felt great when I could. I am hoping that I will be able to start next week. It would be nice!
I haven't been able to tell you even though I believe that you already know but we will be leaving Texas soon and moving again. Mark's contract is going faster than expected so we needed to secure work for when it happens. The move will take place sometime around July/ August when the weather is good. I again believe that you already know where we are going so I don't feel the need to say it on here at this time. When it gets closer to the move I will be sure to share it with everyone else.
There is something else that will be taking place next year as well. Next December 20th Mark and I will be making it official and we will be getting married. I know this makes you so happy and I know that you are hugging us both. You loved Mark and we all knew this. We all knew how you felt about him. Mark and I will NEVER forget our last conversation with you and what you said. That is forever in our mind and in our hearts. It was the sweetest thing for you to say to Mark and for Mom to hear. Brought tears to both of us. Still does when I think about it. I thank Amy every day for introducing us to Mark. I think I finally got this one right. I am truly in love with Mark. He completes me and I believe he is my soul mate. We hardly ever argue and our lives are drama free. We have learned to listen to other people and their problems but not get into it and try to fix them and make them our own. I wish I would have learned this so many years ago. I could've saved myself from a ton of heartache. Everything happens for a reason and in the time frame it is supposed to. I will fill you in on all the Wedding details as we discuss them as we know. I want you to know that the Wedding will not be the same because you and Amy will not be there with us in the physical form that day. I will tell you that I have something very special for the 2 of you though. It will be done in love and in honor to you both. More on that later though!!!
The weather is overcast and cloudy AGAIN... ugh! I did not see any stars last night when going outside with the pups. I am hoping I get to see them tonight. I know you are there shining brightly for Mom to see. I know you watch over us and all our family and friends. Thank you for all that you do. It means so much to me and I know it means a lot to everyone else too. Be listening for Mom when I whisper to you tonight. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. It was always you and I against the world..now as you want Mom to say it is you and I for the world!!! Always & forever. Have a wonderful peaceful night my precious son. Sweet dreams and fly high and fly free up there.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Merry Christmas my sweet son in Heaven! I hope that you are doing great and you had one hell of a celebration with everyone today! I can only hope that you stopped by to see Mom and Mark at some point today. This is the 1st Christmas without you and it was tough. I did break down a few times last night and today but that is to be expected. Mark did such a wonderful job at making this Christmas all that he could to help me out. He was just so sweet to me. I couldn't have asked for more from him. I got the chance to speak to Grandpa, Meme, Great Grammy, Aunt Becky, Aunt Shirley, Uncle Dick, Andrea and many friends today as well. It was really nice to hear their voices. I miss everyone so much but I hope to be making a visit to NH really soon. Everyone seemed cheerful so that was nice. Everyone did say how much they miss you too. I see your friend Greg and of course Spencer sent you messages on Facebook along with Mom today. That was so sweet of them. Yup.. brought tears to my eyes and I bet it did the same to you. I am sure that it is not easy to see us cry all the time or shed tears from time to time when something reminds us of you. Grieving is one of the hardest things to overcome. Everyone does it in their own time frame and everyone does it differently. No 2 people are alike. I am only doing what I know and I am trying my damnest to get through this on a day to day basis. I only want to make you proud of Mom. You made me so proud every day for 22 years so this is all I can do to repay you.
The day was nice and somewhat warm. 65 degrees and cloudy/overcast all day. I am hoping that I will be able to look to the sky tonight and see all the stars. I need to see my bright star shining up in the Heavens. If for some reason I can't see them or you I know in my heart that you are up there watching over me, Mark, and everyone else. I will as I always do whisper to you. Be listening for Mom's voice. I hope that you hear me nightly. I believe that you do and actually that is all that matters to me! I miss you so much my sweet son. I love you unconditionally. I love you beyond words and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world.
Please tell everyone in Heaven that I said hello, I miss them and Merry Christmas. This Holiday is just not the same... y'all are missing and it hurts us. I know it hurts me. I know that it hurts your Dad and all our family and friends. Please continue to watch over us. Thank you for all that you do. It never goes unnoticed. I love you pumpkin. Again, Merry Christmas from me to you. Hugs and kisses to you Tyler.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Merry Christmas my sweet son in Heaven! I hope that you are doing great and you had one hell of a celebration with everyone today! I can only hope that you stopped by to see Mom and Mark at some point today. This is the 1st Christmas without you and it was tough. I did break down a few times last night and today but that is to be expected. Mark did such a wonderful job at making this Christmas all that he could to help me out. He was just so sweet to me. I couldn't have asked for more from him. I got the chance to speak to Grandpa, Meme, Great Grammy, Aunt Becky, Aunt Shirley, Uncle Dick, Andrea and many friends today as well. It was really nice to hear their voices. I miss everyone so much but I hope to be making a visit to NH really soon. Everyone seemed cheerful so that was nice. Everyone did say how much they miss you too. I see your friend Greg and of course Spencer sent you messages on Facebook along with Mom today. That was so sweet of them. Yup.. brought tears to my eyes and I bet it did the same to you. I am sure that it is not easy to see us cry all the time or shed tears from time to time when something reminds us of you. Grieving is one of the hardest things to overcome. Everyone does it in their own time frame and everyone does it differently. No 2 people are alike. I am only doing what I know and I am trying my damnest to get through this on a day to day basis. I only want to make you proud of Mom. You made me so proud every day for 22 years so this is all I can do to repay you.
The day was nice and somewhat warm. 65 degrees and cloudy/overcast all day. I am hoping that I will be able to look to the sky tonight and see all the stars. I need to see my bright star shining up in the Heavens. If for some reason I can't see them or you I know in my heart that you are up there watching over me, Mark, and everyone else. I will as I always do whisper to you. Be listening for Mom's voice. I hope that you hear me nightly. I believe that you do and actually that is all that matters to me! I miss you so much my sweet son. I love you unconditionally. I love you beyond words and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world.
Please tell everyone in Heaven that I said hello, I miss them and Merry Christmas. This Holiday is just not the same... y'all are missing and it hurts us. I know it hurts me. I know that it hurts your Dad and all our family and friends. Please continue to watch over us. Thank you for all that you do. It never goes unnoticed. I love you pumpkin. Again, Merry Christmas from me to you. Hugs and kisses to you Tyler.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Merry Christmas Eve to you in Heaven! How are you doing my sweet precious son? I hope that you are listening to the Choir of the Angels singing, looking at all the lights down below and being with all our family and friends in Heaven. Mom is doing just ok. I am having a hard day. I am sitting back and thinking about all the Christmas' past and it makes me sad that I will never get the chance to make new family traditions and memories with you ever again. I am trying to believe that you would not want me to feel this way. I know you want Mom to be happy and smile. Please forgive Mom as it is not that easy and I have my days that I slip. This is just one of those days and I know that tomorrow, Christmas Day will be another one. I am so sorry, Tyler. I really am trying. I miss you so much. Sometimes this pain is so unbearable for me to handle on a daily basis. I know you are with me and walking beside me but even though I am grateful for that and I really am it sometimes just not enough.
So many of my friends have been talking about all that they have been doing with their children during this Holiday Season and I think that is wonderful but it is so hard for me to read at times. I wish that I could do all those things with you again and it hurts Mom and literally breaks my heart to know I can't have what they do and I will never have it again.
I do hope that you have a beautiful and wonderful Christmas with all our loved ones that crossed over before and after you. I hope that you all have such a celebration up in Heaven. Please give yourself, Nana, Pepe, Amy, Ron, Larry M, Larry B, Keith, Mattie, Uncle Al, Aunt Jo, Aunt Ida, Albert, Henry and so many others hugs from Mom. I miss them all sweetie, but I miss you the most!
Everything else is ok here so don't worry. Mark is taking care of Mom just like he told you he would. He is amazing to Mom. Such a dream come true...finally. I know that meant alot to you and he is all that you thought he would be for your Momma. You had such great first impressions when meeting people for the first time. You got it so right when it came to Mark. Wish I would have listened to you more often. Maybe then I wouldn't have gotten hurt so much! Spoke to Bean the other night, Things are good with her. She is looking for another job. Some place closer to her apartment. I hope she finds something that she will love. Grandpa and Debbie are good too. I do need you to watch over Meme more. I know you already know what is going on with her and I would rather not disclose anything on your letter, but I ( Aunt Becky too ) are really worried about her. Please be with her through this tough time. She needs support and I know you can guide her to what needs to take place and you will help her get through this. Thank you, Tyler. Please tell Nana & Pepe to be with her too. I wish I lived closer to Meme to help but I don't and I can't. I can only talk to her on the phone and help from a distance. I love Meme and I hope and pray that things get better soon. Again, Thank you to Nana & Pepe for the help.
The sky is cloudless and blue. Just so beautiful outside. Tonight when we walk the dogs I will be looking up to the sky to see my bright star shining. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you. I miss you so much. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. Merry Early Christmas to you my sweet precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Merry Christmas Eve to you in Heaven! How are you doing my sweet precious son? I hope that you are listening to the Choir of the Angels singing, looking at all the lights down below and being with all our family and friends in Heaven. Mom is doing just ok. I am having a hard day. I am sitting back and thinking about all the Christmas' past and it makes me sad that I will never get the chance to make new family traditions and memories with you ever again. I am trying to believe that you would not want me to feel this way. I know you want Mom to be happy and smile. Please forgive Mom as it is not that easy and I have my days that I slip. This is just one of those days and I know that tomorrow, Christmas Day will be another one. I am so sorry, Tyler. I really am trying. I miss you so much. Sometimes this pain is so unbearable for me to handle on a daily basis. I know you are with me and walking beside me but even though I am grateful for that and I really am it sometimes just not enough.
So many of my friends have been talking about all that they have been doing with their children during this Holiday Season and I think that is wonderful but it is so hard for me to read at times. I wish that I could do all those things with you again and it hurts Mom and literally breaks my heart to know I can't have what they do and I will never have it again.
I do hope that you have a beautiful and wonderful Christmas with all our loved ones that crossed over before and after you. I hope that you all have such a celebration up in Heaven. Please give yourself, Nana, Pepe, Amy, Ron, Larry M, Larry B, Keith, Mattie, Uncle Al, Aunt Jo, Aunt Ida, Albert, Henry and so many others hugs from Mom. I miss them all sweetie, but I miss you the most!
Everything else is ok here so don't worry. Mark is taking care of Mom just like he told you he would. He is amazing to Mom. Such a dream come true...finally. I know that meant alot to you and he is all that you thought he would be for your Momma. You had such great first impressions when meeting people for the first time. You got it so right when it came to Mark. Wish I would have listened to you more often. Maybe then I wouldn't have gotten hurt so much! Spoke to Bean the other night, Things are good with her. She is looking for another job. Some place closer to her apartment. I hope she finds something that she will love. Grandpa and Debbie are good too. I do need you to watch over Meme more. I know you already know what is going on with her and I would rather not disclose anything on your letter, but I ( Aunt Becky too ) are really worried about her. Please be with her through this tough time. She needs support and I know you can guide her to what needs to take place and you will help her get through this. Thank you, Tyler. Please tell Nana & Pepe to be with her too. I wish I lived closer to Meme to help but I don't and I can't. I can only talk to her on the phone and help from a distance. I love Meme and I hope and pray that things get better soon. Again, Thank you to Nana & Pepe for the help.
The sky is cloudless and blue. Just so beautiful outside. Tonight when we walk the dogs I will be looking up to the sky to see my bright star shining. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you. I miss you so much. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. Merry Early Christmas to you my sweet precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, December 23, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today? I bet that it us sunny and beautiful up there in the Heavens. It is sunny here and nice and cool. In the 60's today. I will take it!!! Mom is doing ok. Really tired though. Sleeping last night was a little rough for me. Didn't get much. I am healing nicely from the shingles. It has been 6 days and I am well on my way of a speedy recovery!!! Mark is doing well and the pups are just fast asleep on the floor and couch. They are enjoying the nice weather too. I don't think they are missing the cold and snow at all. As usual..as I write to you Snickers is laying right next to me. It is like he knows what I am doing. I know he misses you so much, so does Max but not as much as Mom does.
I can't believe that last Friday was 6 months that you passed. Doesn't seem that long but yet 6 months have gone by.... time I guess is really flying by. Every day is so hard living without you in my life. I miss you so much. I miss our conversations, laughing with you, playing games with you, even fighting with you. I miss everything. I miss being a Mom.. your Mom! I know they say time heals all wounds and with time it gets easier.... I would like to know when that starts. I am waiting... all I know is that it gets harder and harder every day. Maybe I am doing something wrong. I don't know.
I know that I will be able to see the stars tonight because there is nothing but blue skies out there. I will be looking for the one bright star.. I will be looking for you. I will whisper to you like I do every night. I hope you hear me. I miss you so much. I love you with all my heart and soul. To the moon and back. Watch over Mom and the rest of your family and friends. Have a wonderful night and I hope you have many sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today? I bet that it us sunny and beautiful up there in the Heavens. It is sunny here and nice and cool. In the 60's today. I will take it!!! Mom is doing ok. Really tired though. Sleeping last night was a little rough for me. Didn't get much. I am healing nicely from the shingles. It has been 6 days and I am well on my way of a speedy recovery!!! Mark is doing well and the pups are just fast asleep on the floor and couch. They are enjoying the nice weather too. I don't think they are missing the cold and snow at all. As usual..as I write to you Snickers is laying right next to me. It is like he knows what I am doing. I know he misses you so much, so does Max but not as much as Mom does.
I can't believe that last Friday was 6 months that you passed. Doesn't seem that long but yet 6 months have gone by.... time I guess is really flying by. Every day is so hard living without you in my life. I miss you so much. I miss our conversations, laughing with you, playing games with you, even fighting with you. I miss everything. I miss being a Mom.. your Mom! I know they say time heals all wounds and with time it gets easier.... I would like to know when that starts. I am waiting... all I know is that it gets harder and harder every day. Maybe I am doing something wrong. I don't know.
I know that I will be able to see the stars tonight because there is nothing but blue skies out there. I will be looking for the one bright star.. I will be looking for you. I will whisper to you like I do every night. I hope you hear me. I miss you so much. I love you with all my heart and soul. To the moon and back. Watch over Mom and the rest of your family and friends. Have a wonderful night and I hope you have many sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet precious son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? I know you are doing well and that you are doing all kinds of special things up there for a lot of people, Angels, and God. I wouldn't expect anything less coming from your beautiful soul. Mom is doing ok today. Didn't have to do all that much so it was kind of a lazy day around here. It was nice to kind of just sit back and do what I wanted instead of being sick or having to do housework! I just got dinner prepped and it is cooking so I decided to write to you now. Mark was surfing the channels and he found a Very Micky Christmas on. It is showing Goofy ad Max right now. Oh how I remember you and Mom watching the Goofy Movie. Remember that? We would laugh and sing along with the songs for hours. When I saw what was on the tv I whispered to you and said we were watching it and I was thinking of you. Hope you come and take a peek and watch some of it with Mom. It makes me smile to remember all the good times we had. I miss you so much pumpkin. I really do. Christmas is in 3 days and how I long to be spending it with you again. The Holiday is just not the same without you. I knew it would be hard this year being the 1st without you but I didn't know it was going to be THIS hard. I know you won't be alone because you will be with all our family and friends in Heaven. Make sure to tell them hello from us and give then hugs too!
Mickey and Minnie are on now. Remember all the times that we went to Disney World? Remember Grandpa with Mickey? I always like looking at those pictures and remembering the good times there. I remember the first year we all went. We all got Mickey ears.. you got a Goofy hat! I still have your Goofy Stocking. It is here with Mom. I will never get rid of it..ever!
I am hoping that tonight the sky will be clear so that I can see my star shining brightly. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you as I always do. I love you so much. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. I hope that you have a wonderful night and you have many sweet dreams! Fly high and fly free. Continue to watch over Mom and the rest of us. I love you. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet precious son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? I know you are doing well and that you are doing all kinds of special things up there for a lot of people, Angels, and God. I wouldn't expect anything less coming from your beautiful soul. Mom is doing ok today. Didn't have to do all that much so it was kind of a lazy day around here. It was nice to kind of just sit back and do what I wanted instead of being sick or having to do housework! I just got dinner prepped and it is cooking so I decided to write to you now. Mark was surfing the channels and he found a Very Micky Christmas on. It is showing Goofy ad Max right now. Oh how I remember you and Mom watching the Goofy Movie. Remember that? We would laugh and sing along with the songs for hours. When I saw what was on the tv I whispered to you and said we were watching it and I was thinking of you. Hope you come and take a peek and watch some of it with Mom. It makes me smile to remember all the good times we had. I miss you so much pumpkin. I really do. Christmas is in 3 days and how I long to be spending it with you again. The Holiday is just not the same without you. I knew it would be hard this year being the 1st without you but I didn't know it was going to be THIS hard. I know you won't be alone because you will be with all our family and friends in Heaven. Make sure to tell them hello from us and give then hugs too!
Mickey and Minnie are on now. Remember all the times that we went to Disney World? Remember Grandpa with Mickey? I always like looking at those pictures and remembering the good times there. I remember the first year we all went. We all got Mickey ears.. you got a Goofy hat! I still have your Goofy Stocking. It is here with Mom. I will never get rid of it..ever!
I am hoping that tonight the sky will be clear so that I can see my star shining brightly. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you as I always do. I love you so much. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. I hope that you have a wonderful night and you have many sweet dreams! Fly high and fly free. Continue to watch over Mom and the rest of us. I love you. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Happy Winter Solstice my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday night? I hope that you are doing well. Mom is doing better. Had the opportunity to go out today for 4 hours. It was the first time in 2 weeks. It was nice. I thought that the traffic would be awful seeings how Christmas is in 4 days but I think the heavy rain had people staying in. Worked for us! We did all that we needed to get done and even had time to spare!
Walked the dogs already and the clouds have moved some so I got to see my bright star shining. I was happy about that! I hope you heard Mom because I whispered to you. Today even though it was raining the temp was 79 degrees! It just seems so weird to me because its the end of December but again I am not going to complain. I could get used to this weather but I don't want to because we will be moving soon again. Mark's contract is going faster than expected so they are already contracting him to another location come July/ August. I never thought I would say this but I will miss Texas. I will miss the apartment, the folks we have met, and the weather, but I will not miss the traffic!
Not much else is new. Spoke to Meme tonight. She didn't sound happy at all. She said she was sleeping so I told her that I would call her back tomorrow. I wish that things would turn around for her and for Bob. I really think that she is seriously depressed. I worry about her ( and Bob too ). I don't think that I have ever heard her this bad though. Please be with Meme, Tyler. She could use your help. Thanks pumpkin!
Spoke to Chelesa last night. She told me that everyone is fine. All animals got out of the house. Peggy got a broken foot, Randy is well, and their Dad is still in ICU but he did wake up today. Still has the breathing tube in but hopefully that will come out tomorrow. They have started a fundraiser back home for them. It is a hefty amount needed so I hope they get it all or come really close to it. Such a sad event but I am so glad that all 4 of them got out and all is going to be ok. It will take time but that's ok! Please continue to watch over them as well. Thanks!
I know this letter is short but I wanted to write to you. I am really tired tonight from being out all day. Guess I am not used to it. Your Momma is getting old..lol! Guess they weren't kidding when they said that today was the shortest day and longest night. I will write more tomorrow. Have a wonderful and peaceful night. Sweet dreams Tyler. I miss you so much and love you to the moon and back!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS You must check out Auntie Kristi's FB page.... she has posted something especially for you. It is the scene from Nightmare Before Christmas ( the movie cover ) minus Jack... she says that it is for you :)
Happy Winter Solstice my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday night? I hope that you are doing well. Mom is doing better. Had the opportunity to go out today for 4 hours. It was the first time in 2 weeks. It was nice. I thought that the traffic would be awful seeings how Christmas is in 4 days but I think the heavy rain had people staying in. Worked for us! We did all that we needed to get done and even had time to spare!
Walked the dogs already and the clouds have moved some so I got to see my bright star shining. I was happy about that! I hope you heard Mom because I whispered to you. Today even though it was raining the temp was 79 degrees! It just seems so weird to me because its the end of December but again I am not going to complain. I could get used to this weather but I don't want to because we will be moving soon again. Mark's contract is going faster than expected so they are already contracting him to another location come July/ August. I never thought I would say this but I will miss Texas. I will miss the apartment, the folks we have met, and the weather, but I will not miss the traffic!
Not much else is new. Spoke to Meme tonight. She didn't sound happy at all. She said she was sleeping so I told her that I would call her back tomorrow. I wish that things would turn around for her and for Bob. I really think that she is seriously depressed. I worry about her ( and Bob too ). I don't think that I have ever heard her this bad though. Please be with Meme, Tyler. She could use your help. Thanks pumpkin!
Spoke to Chelesa last night. She told me that everyone is fine. All animals got out of the house. Peggy got a broken foot, Randy is well, and their Dad is still in ICU but he did wake up today. Still has the breathing tube in but hopefully that will come out tomorrow. They have started a fundraiser back home for them. It is a hefty amount needed so I hope they get it all or come really close to it. Such a sad event but I am so glad that all 4 of them got out and all is going to be ok. It will take time but that's ok! Please continue to watch over them as well. Thanks!
I know this letter is short but I wanted to write to you. I am really tired tonight from being out all day. Guess I am not used to it. Your Momma is getting old..lol! Guess they weren't kidding when they said that today was the shortest day and longest night. I will write more tomorrow. Have a wonderful and peaceful night. Sweet dreams Tyler. I miss you so much and love you to the moon and back!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS You must check out Auntie Kristi's FB page.... she has posted something especially for you. It is the scene from Nightmare Before Christmas ( the movie cover ) minus Jack... she says that it is for you :)
Friday, December 20, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetheart. How are you doing today? I hope you are doing so good there ought to be a law ( Those are Mark's words! ). Mom is doing better today. I am sitting up on the couch and typing you this letter today. That is really good for it only being 4 days into healing. I even actually helped walk the dogs today. It was slow but I did it. It was my first day outside in 5 days. The weather outside is rainy and cloudy but the breeze is just so warm. It was a pleasant surprise.
Today I was just going through FB posts and I came across more sad news. I know you remember our and your friends Peggy, Wayne, Chelesa, & Randy Simoneau... Peggy worked at DHMC and she was good friends with Ramon and I. Anyways... early this morning around 2am something happened that is unknown at this time but their house burnt right down to the ground. They lost everything. Peggy has a broken foot and Wayne is in the ICU right now. Chelesa is doing ok... just really shook up right now. It is just so sad. They are great, kind, and loving people who did not deserve this at all. Lately, there is so much tragedy around out area. I don't know what is going on. Please watch over them all so that they get all that they need at this difficult time. Thanks Tyler. It means so much to Mom and I know it will to them as well.
Everything else is ok. I spoke to Grandpa today! He is doing good and he talked a lot about his part time job. Guess he really enjoys it and the money is helping them out so I am happy for him. The rest of the family seems to be doing well too. I try to speak to them on a weekly basis. Makes me feel close to them instead of being so far away. Great Grammy is doing good. I was, as always asking about her. She gets confused but who wouldn't at 93 years old. She is a trooper. Such a fighter. We get that from the " Hamel " side of the family :)
The clouds are rolling in now. Guess it is suppose to rain, thunder, and lightning tonight and tomorrow. Hope to look and see some stars tonight. If not I know you are shining bright up there. Fly high and free my sweet precious son. I miss you so much. Continue to watch over Mom and the rest of our family and friends. I love you to the moon and back.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi sweetheart. How are you doing today? I hope you are doing so good there ought to be a law ( Those are Mark's words! ). Mom is doing better today. I am sitting up on the couch and typing you this letter today. That is really good for it only being 4 days into healing. I even actually helped walk the dogs today. It was slow but I did it. It was my first day outside in 5 days. The weather outside is rainy and cloudy but the breeze is just so warm. It was a pleasant surprise.
Today I was just going through FB posts and I came across more sad news. I know you remember our and your friends Peggy, Wayne, Chelesa, & Randy Simoneau... Peggy worked at DHMC and she was good friends with Ramon and I. Anyways... early this morning around 2am something happened that is unknown at this time but their house burnt right down to the ground. They lost everything. Peggy has a broken foot and Wayne is in the ICU right now. Chelesa is doing ok... just really shook up right now. It is just so sad. They are great, kind, and loving people who did not deserve this at all. Lately, there is so much tragedy around out area. I don't know what is going on. Please watch over them all so that they get all that they need at this difficult time. Thanks Tyler. It means so much to Mom and I know it will to them as well.
Everything else is ok. I spoke to Grandpa today! He is doing good and he talked a lot about his part time job. Guess he really enjoys it and the money is helping them out so I am happy for him. The rest of the family seems to be doing well too. I try to speak to them on a weekly basis. Makes me feel close to them instead of being so far away. Great Grammy is doing good. I was, as always asking about her. She gets confused but who wouldn't at 93 years old. She is a trooper. Such a fighter. We get that from the " Hamel " side of the family :)
The clouds are rolling in now. Guess it is suppose to rain, thunder, and lightning tonight and tomorrow. Hope to look and see some stars tonight. If not I know you are shining bright up there. Fly high and free my sweet precious son. I miss you so much. Continue to watch over Mom and the rest of our family and friends. I love you to the moon and back.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet precious son. How are you today in Heaven? I am so sorry that I haven't been able to write to you again the last couple days. Mom has had a rough couple of weeks here. Last week I was under the weather with the stomach flu and got over that and felt like myself again for only 3 days and then Monday night I instantly out of now where got the chills, high fever, body aches, and a migraine headache that lead to shingles. Yup.... it really sucks! I am on my way to recovery though. Today is the first day out of bed in 3 days. Do you remember the times I got them when you lived at home? I am sure you do. It is the exact same thing. I am hobbling along on my leg. Mark again has worked from home so he can take care of Mom. He is so good to me. I worry that he will get in trouble with work but he says no. I hate not writing to you daily. It makes me feel so far away from you. I hate that feeling. I haven't been able to walk outside either, but I have been whispering to you nightly so I hope that you have been hearing me. I miss you so much. I find myself being so much more emotional these last 3 weeks. I guess it is because Christmas is in 6 days and this is my first one without you. It sucks and I am trying to remember that you are happy and with so many family members and family plus God now. I am so happy that you have so many loved ones around you and that you are not alone. I keep thinking back to last Christmas when I gave you and Mark your " Stars ". I can remember both of your faces and it made me so happy! I remember all day long exploring what it was all about. Jeremy was also there to join in the fun! How I miss those times. I was thinking of getting a " Star " and having it named after you and Mom so that we had one together. That way you could go to it and visit it and think of us and all the good times together. Then when it is Mom's time to be reunited with you... you can take me to your star, Mark's star, and our star! I will keep you posted on that and if I do it.
I am really wanting to have another reading with Forrest. I am hoping to do this after the new year. I would really like to hear from you again. I have so many questions for you and would just love to touch base with you again. I will also let you know when I do this. I would love to hear from Nana, Pepe, and Amy as well. I guess I am in need of more validation that you are doing fine and that you are still happy. Guess I worry about that too. I know I can see you rolling your eyes and saying " Mom ", but it is true. I am just living up to my name. I miss your voice, your smile, your laugh, and everything else about you. I miss our fun times, our good times, and our bad times. I miss it all. I love you so much, Tyler. You will always and forever be Mom's 1 true love. Nobody will ever or could ever replace that.
I don't think I will be able to walk outside tonight again but I will try to look out the window to see the stars shining brightly. I will be looking to the sky for you. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you as I always do. Continue to watch over Mom and all the ones we love. Thank you so much for all you do. It means so much to Mom and it comforts me as well. I hope that you have a wonderful day and night. Do all that you want to do today. Fly high and fly free my sweet son. Have a peaceful rest and sweet dreams. I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet precious son. How are you today in Heaven? I am so sorry that I haven't been able to write to you again the last couple days. Mom has had a rough couple of weeks here. Last week I was under the weather with the stomach flu and got over that and felt like myself again for only 3 days and then Monday night I instantly out of now where got the chills, high fever, body aches, and a migraine headache that lead to shingles. Yup.... it really sucks! I am on my way to recovery though. Today is the first day out of bed in 3 days. Do you remember the times I got them when you lived at home? I am sure you do. It is the exact same thing. I am hobbling along on my leg. Mark again has worked from home so he can take care of Mom. He is so good to me. I worry that he will get in trouble with work but he says no. I hate not writing to you daily. It makes me feel so far away from you. I hate that feeling. I haven't been able to walk outside either, but I have been whispering to you nightly so I hope that you have been hearing me. I miss you so much. I find myself being so much more emotional these last 3 weeks. I guess it is because Christmas is in 6 days and this is my first one without you. It sucks and I am trying to remember that you are happy and with so many family members and family plus God now. I am so happy that you have so many loved ones around you and that you are not alone. I keep thinking back to last Christmas when I gave you and Mark your " Stars ". I can remember both of your faces and it made me so happy! I remember all day long exploring what it was all about. Jeremy was also there to join in the fun! How I miss those times. I was thinking of getting a " Star " and having it named after you and Mom so that we had one together. That way you could go to it and visit it and think of us and all the good times together. Then when it is Mom's time to be reunited with you... you can take me to your star, Mark's star, and our star! I will keep you posted on that and if I do it.
I am really wanting to have another reading with Forrest. I am hoping to do this after the new year. I would really like to hear from you again. I have so many questions for you and would just love to touch base with you again. I will also let you know when I do this. I would love to hear from Nana, Pepe, and Amy as well. I guess I am in need of more validation that you are doing fine and that you are still happy. Guess I worry about that too. I know I can see you rolling your eyes and saying " Mom ", but it is true. I am just living up to my name. I miss your voice, your smile, your laugh, and everything else about you. I miss our fun times, our good times, and our bad times. I miss it all. I love you so much, Tyler. You will always and forever be Mom's 1 true love. Nobody will ever or could ever replace that.
I don't think I will be able to walk outside tonight again but I will try to look out the window to see the stars shining brightly. I will be looking to the sky for you. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you as I always do. Continue to watch over Mom and all the ones we love. Thank you so much for all you do. It means so much to Mom and it comforts me as well. I hope that you have a wonderful day and night. Do all that you want to do today. Fly high and fly free my sweet son. Have a peaceful rest and sweet dreams. I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, December 16, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today in Heaven? I hope you are wonderful and today is all that you want it to be. Mom is doing well today. Sickness is all gone and I actually worked out today! I actually missed it so much last week when I was sick. Caught up on house work and also did laundry. I am waiting for Mark to get home from the office so that we can go do some Christmas shopping for the family that I was telling you about. I am hoping that the stores are not too busy! I am not looking forward to getting in such crowds and getting into all the pushing and shoving. Watch over Mom tonight while I go out!
Spoke to Aunt Becky today! She sounds great and is getting ready to take her trip to South America in January! I guess Brandy is coming out to visit Mom in February. It will be nice to see Bean for a few days. I believe that she will be coming around Valentine's Day! I am really happy to be able to get some time to spend with her. It has been years since we have done this so I will embrace it all. I miss her.
I miss you, Tyler. I love you with all my heart and soul. I had a dream about you this morning that was so real. I couldn't shake the feeling and couldn't go back to bed after I woke up. It was a bunch of small dreams wrapped into a big one. You were all ages and we were doing all kinds of fun things with others. Then you got sick and it became a nightmare. I seemed like I couldn't wake up when I wanted too. I don't know what that dream meant but I have to say that I dream of you a lot. Some are really wonderful dreams and some are really scary. I wonder if you are coming to me in my dreams and that is why they seem so real. I wonder if you are trying to tell me something. If you are then continue to try because I will get them and the meaning sooner or later. Just don't give up on me.
The sky is cloudless and clear so tonight will be another wonderful night to see the stars shining in the sky. I will look for you.. the brightest one shining! I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for Mom. Please continue to watch over Mom and all our family and friends. I know you do but I always want to make sure I ask you. Thank you my sweet precious son for everything. Have a wonderful peaceful night and many sweet dreams to you. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today in Heaven? I hope you are wonderful and today is all that you want it to be. Mom is doing well today. Sickness is all gone and I actually worked out today! I actually missed it so much last week when I was sick. Caught up on house work and also did laundry. I am waiting for Mark to get home from the office so that we can go do some Christmas shopping for the family that I was telling you about. I am hoping that the stores are not too busy! I am not looking forward to getting in such crowds and getting into all the pushing and shoving. Watch over Mom tonight while I go out!
Spoke to Aunt Becky today! She sounds great and is getting ready to take her trip to South America in January! I guess Brandy is coming out to visit Mom in February. It will be nice to see Bean for a few days. I believe that she will be coming around Valentine's Day! I am really happy to be able to get some time to spend with her. It has been years since we have done this so I will embrace it all. I miss her.
I miss you, Tyler. I love you with all my heart and soul. I had a dream about you this morning that was so real. I couldn't shake the feeling and couldn't go back to bed after I woke up. It was a bunch of small dreams wrapped into a big one. You were all ages and we were doing all kinds of fun things with others. Then you got sick and it became a nightmare. I seemed like I couldn't wake up when I wanted too. I don't know what that dream meant but I have to say that I dream of you a lot. Some are really wonderful dreams and some are really scary. I wonder if you are coming to me in my dreams and that is why they seem so real. I wonder if you are trying to tell me something. If you are then continue to try because I will get them and the meaning sooner or later. Just don't give up on me.
The sky is cloudless and clear so tonight will be another wonderful night to see the stars shining in the sky. I will look for you.. the brightest one shining! I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for Mom. Please continue to watch over Mom and all our family and friends. I know you do but I always want to make sure I ask you. Thank you my sweet precious son for everything. Have a wonderful peaceful night and many sweet dreams to you. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you today on this Sunday afternoon? I hope all is well in Heaven and you are smiling your Cheshire grin to all! It is finally sunny today in Texas! It is 60 degrees here as well. It was so nice to just walk outside today. Weatherman said that by the end of the week it is going be 75 - 80 degrees and more sun! I am extremely happy about this!
Back home in NH they did indeed get snow last night and today. Depending on where you live in New England it appears that anywhere from 12 - 18" were dropped on them! I saw some pictures that friends posted of the storm and the snow looks pretty and nice but that is all. I am not missing that one bit!
We were suppose to go out today and do some shopping for the family back home so that they will have a surprise Christmas but we didn't end up going out. Mark hurt his shoulder this morning and he is in some serious pain from it. We will go out this week and do the shopping. It was nice to have another down day for me. I missed almost all of this week due to Mom being so sick. I needed to play catch up with house work and laundry so it all worked out in the end. It will be nice to go shopping though. I think what we are doing will bring a smile to your face. I know you approve. It is something that you wanted to do a couple years back. I remember you talking to me about it. It made me smile. You were the most unselfish person, Ty. You thought of others before yourself and you wanted everyone to come first before you. I never did that though. You were and always will be my number one.
Oh, before I forget again.... Aunt Shirley had bought you some Candy Canes to put at your resting place but she realized they couldn't put them there because of the snow and plowing during the Winter months so she said that she would bring them down to you when some of the snow melts so that you can see them! I thought was so sweet of her. We love Candy Canes! Every time I eat one I think of you and it puts a smile on my face. I am continuing to design your stone and bench so that it can be ordered and put down there in early Spring at the cemetery for all to enjoy when they visit you. I am looking at images of Jack & Zero. I want to make sure I get the perfect one for you. I know it will make you smile either way. You deserve the best and that is exactly what you will get..nothing less!
I know tonight I will be able to see the stars for the first time in like 3 weeks. I will definitely be looking to the sky so I can see you shining brightly up there in the Heavens. Be listening to Mom whispering to you. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back. Watch over us all here. Thank you for all you do. Big hugs and kisses to you my precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you today on this Sunday afternoon? I hope all is well in Heaven and you are smiling your Cheshire grin to all! It is finally sunny today in Texas! It is 60 degrees here as well. It was so nice to just walk outside today. Weatherman said that by the end of the week it is going be 75 - 80 degrees and more sun! I am extremely happy about this!
Back home in NH they did indeed get snow last night and today. Depending on where you live in New England it appears that anywhere from 12 - 18" were dropped on them! I saw some pictures that friends posted of the storm and the snow looks pretty and nice but that is all. I am not missing that one bit!
We were suppose to go out today and do some shopping for the family back home so that they will have a surprise Christmas but we didn't end up going out. Mark hurt his shoulder this morning and he is in some serious pain from it. We will go out this week and do the shopping. It was nice to have another down day for me. I missed almost all of this week due to Mom being so sick. I needed to play catch up with house work and laundry so it all worked out in the end. It will be nice to go shopping though. I think what we are doing will bring a smile to your face. I know you approve. It is something that you wanted to do a couple years back. I remember you talking to me about it. It made me smile. You were the most unselfish person, Ty. You thought of others before yourself and you wanted everyone to come first before you. I never did that though. You were and always will be my number one.
Oh, before I forget again.... Aunt Shirley had bought you some Candy Canes to put at your resting place but she realized they couldn't put them there because of the snow and plowing during the Winter months so she said that she would bring them down to you when some of the snow melts so that you can see them! I thought was so sweet of her. We love Candy Canes! Every time I eat one I think of you and it puts a smile on my face. I am continuing to design your stone and bench so that it can be ordered and put down there in early Spring at the cemetery for all to enjoy when they visit you. I am looking at images of Jack & Zero. I want to make sure I get the perfect one for you. I know it will make you smile either way. You deserve the best and that is exactly what you will get..nothing less!
I know tonight I will be able to see the stars for the first time in like 3 weeks. I will definitely be looking to the sky so I can see you shining brightly up there in the Heavens. Be listening to Mom whispering to you. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back. Watch over us all here. Thank you for all you do. Big hugs and kisses to you my precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetheart! How are you doing today? I hope it is sunny and nice up in Heaven where you are. Here in Texas it was unusually windy today and very overcast and cloudy. I was hoping for some sun but guess it is finally coming to us in the next 4 days! It will be a very nice change that I will embrace. I guess Wednesday it will be 70 degrees so I am smiling about this! I have been hearing and seeing posts on Facebook that NH is at 3 degrees and the snow will be coming at anytime now. I guess the snow is expected to dump from 10" to 12" or more. I can say I am not missing that at all this year. They can have it! I thought maybe just maybe I would miss it just a little bit but nope not at all. I will enjoy a Green Holiday season!!!!
Earlier today I found a thumb drive and it had a ton of pictures of you on it, Max when he was little and when Snickers was a puppy and we just got him for you. It was so nice to see these pictures but it made me sad and brought tears to my eyes because it just reminded me of what I had and what I am missing so much. Snickers just cuddled up to you and slept on your lap and in your arms. Mark thought it was the cutest thing. I will post one of the pictures of you with Snickers on here tomorrow when I have more time. I think you will enjoy seeing some and smiling.
Today makes 1 1/2 years that Mark and Mom have been together. I am so blessed to have him in my life. I thank Amy everyday for introducing him to me. He is my rock and he is keeping his word to you that he would take care of me. He does, Tyler. He makes sure that we have all that we need and that Mom doesn't go without. He holds me when I am at my weakest and encourages me that everything will be ok. I draw my strength from Mark and you still. I am so lucky to have you both in my life. Mark here in the physical world and you now in the spiritual world taking care of me. Thank you my sweet son.
Sunday we are going Christmas shopping for a family that I personally know that are going through some hard times and struggling. They have 2 daughters that need to have a Christmas so Mark and I are going to go out and get some things for them, wrap them and send them on there way. It is the best I can do seeings how I have really no one to buy for this year. I was wrapping a few gifts I bought Mark and was thinking back to all the times I did it for you to see the joy and surprise on your face. The moments of being a parent and the innocence of being a child. Purely priceless for Mom. I miss those times. It is during the reminiscing I find it the hardest to not have you with me. It hurts the most. This is when my heart aches the worst. I love you so much and it was the hardest thing for me to tell you it was ok and that I would be fine for you to cross over to the other side. I hope to never ever do anything again that tears my heart in to and into tiny pieces. It broke me, but I am trying to pick the pieces back up and heal. Be gentle to Mom. I am doing my best!
I won't be seeing the stars in the sky once again tonight but I know you are shining brightly and doing amazing things up there in Heaven. I whispered to you once already. Hope you heard it! I will do it again tonight. Have a wonderful night, Tyler! Sweet dreams my sweet son. I miss you so much and I love you even more! Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi sweetheart! How are you doing today? I hope it is sunny and nice up in Heaven where you are. Here in Texas it was unusually windy today and very overcast and cloudy. I was hoping for some sun but guess it is finally coming to us in the next 4 days! It will be a very nice change that I will embrace. I guess Wednesday it will be 70 degrees so I am smiling about this! I have been hearing and seeing posts on Facebook that NH is at 3 degrees and the snow will be coming at anytime now. I guess the snow is expected to dump from 10" to 12" or more. I can say I am not missing that at all this year. They can have it! I thought maybe just maybe I would miss it just a little bit but nope not at all. I will enjoy a Green Holiday season!!!!
Earlier today I found a thumb drive and it had a ton of pictures of you on it, Max when he was little and when Snickers was a puppy and we just got him for you. It was so nice to see these pictures but it made me sad and brought tears to my eyes because it just reminded me of what I had and what I am missing so much. Snickers just cuddled up to you and slept on your lap and in your arms. Mark thought it was the cutest thing. I will post one of the pictures of you with Snickers on here tomorrow when I have more time. I think you will enjoy seeing some and smiling.
Today makes 1 1/2 years that Mark and Mom have been together. I am so blessed to have him in my life. I thank Amy everyday for introducing him to me. He is my rock and he is keeping his word to you that he would take care of me. He does, Tyler. He makes sure that we have all that we need and that Mom doesn't go without. He holds me when I am at my weakest and encourages me that everything will be ok. I draw my strength from Mark and you still. I am so lucky to have you both in my life. Mark here in the physical world and you now in the spiritual world taking care of me. Thank you my sweet son.
Sunday we are going Christmas shopping for a family that I personally know that are going through some hard times and struggling. They have 2 daughters that need to have a Christmas so Mark and I are going to go out and get some things for them, wrap them and send them on there way. It is the best I can do seeings how I have really no one to buy for this year. I was wrapping a few gifts I bought Mark and was thinking back to all the times I did it for you to see the joy and surprise on your face. The moments of being a parent and the innocence of being a child. Purely priceless for Mom. I miss those times. It is during the reminiscing I find it the hardest to not have you with me. It hurts the most. This is when my heart aches the worst. I love you so much and it was the hardest thing for me to tell you it was ok and that I would be fine for you to cross over to the other side. I hope to never ever do anything again that tears my heart in to and into tiny pieces. It broke me, but I am trying to pick the pieces back up and heal. Be gentle to Mom. I am doing my best!
I won't be seeing the stars in the sky once again tonight but I know you are shining brightly and doing amazing things up there in Heaven. I whispered to you once already. Hope you heard it! I will do it again tonight. Have a wonderful night, Tyler! Sweet dreams my sweet son. I miss you so much and I love you even more! Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, December 13, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! Happy Friday the 13th to you! I hope that you are well up there in Heaven and doing all kinds of wonderful things. Today was a better day for Mom. I actually did my usual routine and actually worked out. I haven't been able to do that in 6 days due to being sick. I am definitely feeling better and getting back to my old self again. It feels good. I also ate 2 full meals today and not just crackers. My belly is happy about that too. Anyways... not much happened with Mom today. The weather was rainy again and overcast. I did get a pleasant surprise and spoke to a dear friend on the phone for 3 hours. I know you are rolling those eyes and laughing saying you know how Mom loves to talk..lol! We spoke and caught up on things in life and mutual friends, etc...it was really nice to talk to her. She is a sweetheart and she is the one who has the son that I always ask you to watch over... Lucas.
Oh... I want you to know before I forget that when I walked Max and Snickers last night it was indeed cloudy, but you could see the moon and no stars. I was telling Mark how odd that was and when I went back to walk to the apartment I looked to the left and saw 1 bright star in the sky. I looked up and whispered to it. I believe that it was you shining brightly for Mom to see. I said my usual to you but also said thank you because I haven't seen any stars in 8 nights. I am hoping that they will be out tonight and I can see that bright star again. Be listening to and for Mom!
I guess that all the bad weather we are getting here is because of the snow storm that is heading to New England over the weekend. They are predicting anywhere between 10- 12" of snow or more. Remember those days? We loved looking at the fresh falling snow. It was so beautiful with the street lights and the moon reflecting and making it sparkle and glitter. We would love it when we could just stay home and do nothing while it was snowing outside. I remember playing games with you or watching a movie with blankets around us and eating popcorn or ice cream. Those were the days and I cherish them all. I thank God for all the memories I have of you and Mom. That is what keeps me going. It is what keeps me laughing and smiling.
I wrote to you on your Facebook page late last night and when I went to post it it would not let me. It kept saying " failed ". I tried a couple times and no luck. I kinda smiled and took it as a sign that you saw what I wrote but didn't want it posted to your page. That's ok as long as you read it and you know what I wanted to tell you. I miss you so much. I really do. I long to hear your voice, kiss your face, give you a hug, and see that smile of yours. I love you beyond words. You were my world and you always will be :)
Please watch over Mom and all our family and friends. I hope you have a great night and many sweet dreams my precious son. Tell Nana, Pepe, Ron, Amy and everyone else hello for me. I miss them too.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Behave on this Friday the 13th... not too many tricks up there...lol..wink wink.. I know you :) Love you!
Hi pumpkin! Happy Friday the 13th to you! I hope that you are well up there in Heaven and doing all kinds of wonderful things. Today was a better day for Mom. I actually did my usual routine and actually worked out. I haven't been able to do that in 6 days due to being sick. I am definitely feeling better and getting back to my old self again. It feels good. I also ate 2 full meals today and not just crackers. My belly is happy about that too. Anyways... not much happened with Mom today. The weather was rainy again and overcast. I did get a pleasant surprise and spoke to a dear friend on the phone for 3 hours. I know you are rolling those eyes and laughing saying you know how Mom loves to talk..lol! We spoke and caught up on things in life and mutual friends, etc...it was really nice to talk to her. She is a sweetheart and she is the one who has the son that I always ask you to watch over... Lucas.
Oh... I want you to know before I forget that when I walked Max and Snickers last night it was indeed cloudy, but you could see the moon and no stars. I was telling Mark how odd that was and when I went back to walk to the apartment I looked to the left and saw 1 bright star in the sky. I looked up and whispered to it. I believe that it was you shining brightly for Mom to see. I said my usual to you but also said thank you because I haven't seen any stars in 8 nights. I am hoping that they will be out tonight and I can see that bright star again. Be listening to and for Mom!
I guess that all the bad weather we are getting here is because of the snow storm that is heading to New England over the weekend. They are predicting anywhere between 10- 12" of snow or more. Remember those days? We loved looking at the fresh falling snow. It was so beautiful with the street lights and the moon reflecting and making it sparkle and glitter. We would love it when we could just stay home and do nothing while it was snowing outside. I remember playing games with you or watching a movie with blankets around us and eating popcorn or ice cream. Those were the days and I cherish them all. I thank God for all the memories I have of you and Mom. That is what keeps me going. It is what keeps me laughing and smiling.
I wrote to you on your Facebook page late last night and when I went to post it it would not let me. It kept saying " failed ". I tried a couple times and no luck. I kinda smiled and took it as a sign that you saw what I wrote but didn't want it posted to your page. That's ok as long as you read it and you know what I wanted to tell you. I miss you so much. I really do. I long to hear your voice, kiss your face, give you a hug, and see that smile of yours. I love you beyond words. You were my world and you always will be :)
Please watch over Mom and all our family and friends. I hope you have a great night and many sweet dreams my precious son. Tell Nana, Pepe, Ron, Amy and everyone else hello for me. I miss them too.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Behave on this Friday the 13th... not too many tricks up there...lol..wink wink.. I know you :) Love you!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetheart, how are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is doing better, but not completely myself yet...getting there though. I actually did some housework today and laundry. That is a good sign so I am happy with that! The weather is again overcast. This is getting so old. I want to see the sun and have it be warm again. Guess I have been spoiled living in Texas. I don't like the cold weather anymore..lol :)
I had a good laugh today and a great memory of you when you were little. A friend of mine posted a video from youtube. It was Green Jelly's " Little Pig ". I totally forgot about how much you loved that dang song and how much you used to sing it! I remember having it on a cassette single and VHS tape for you. You would play it over and over again until I had to tell you to stop because I could take it any longer after the 50th time. Wow... it was such a nice surprise for me to have that today. I needed that. I have been very emotional and the tears have been coming and falling freely today. I guess Mom has been missing you so much more lately. Some of my other friends say that it is natural because it is just so hard the first year. I will have to agree 100 % with them. Hard isn't even the word.
Spoke to Grandpa today. He is doing well and enjoying his little part time job he has. It is always good to her his voice. He seems busy but happy. I miss him. I miss our family and friends and I miss you bunches. Doesn't seem possible that I haven't seen any of them or you in 6 months. Just doesn't seem possible at all. Time does go by so fast. It is scary in some ways.
Everything else seems to be ok. The stars will not be out again due to the lovely clouds that we seem to still be getting here, but I know my bright star is shining up there for me and I know you are watching over Mom and all our loved ones. I will whisper to you so be waiting to hear my voice.
I hope you have a peaceful evening and many sweet dreams up in Heaven. Tell everyone I said hello up there and that I love and miss them too. I miss you like crazy and love you to the moon and back.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi sweetheart, how are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is doing better, but not completely myself yet...getting there though. I actually did some housework today and laundry. That is a good sign so I am happy with that! The weather is again overcast. This is getting so old. I want to see the sun and have it be warm again. Guess I have been spoiled living in Texas. I don't like the cold weather anymore..lol :)
I had a good laugh today and a great memory of you when you were little. A friend of mine posted a video from youtube. It was Green Jelly's " Little Pig ". I totally forgot about how much you loved that dang song and how much you used to sing it! I remember having it on a cassette single and VHS tape for you. You would play it over and over again until I had to tell you to stop because I could take it any longer after the 50th time. Wow... it was such a nice surprise for me to have that today. I needed that. I have been very emotional and the tears have been coming and falling freely today. I guess Mom has been missing you so much more lately. Some of my other friends say that it is natural because it is just so hard the first year. I will have to agree 100 % with them. Hard isn't even the word.
Spoke to Grandpa today. He is doing well and enjoying his little part time job he has. It is always good to her his voice. He seems busy but happy. I miss him. I miss our family and friends and I miss you bunches. Doesn't seem possible that I haven't seen any of them or you in 6 months. Just doesn't seem possible at all. Time does go by so fast. It is scary in some ways.
Everything else seems to be ok. The stars will not be out again due to the lovely clouds that we seem to still be getting here, but I know my bright star is shining up there for me and I know you are watching over Mom and all our loved ones. I will whisper to you so be waiting to hear my voice.
I hope you have a peaceful evening and many sweet dreams up in Heaven. Tell everyone I said hello up there and that I love and miss them too. I miss you like crazy and love you to the moon and back.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing today in Heaven? Mom is so sorry that she couldn't write to you the last couple days. On Sunday night I got really really sick. I am still not sure if I got food poisoning or just a stomach bug but it has been pure hell for me. I have not been this sick in almost a year and boy it is doing a number on me. My back and stomach still hurt from vomiting for 5 hours straight. Mark has been wonderful though. I know you are proud of him, Tyler. He has stayed home with me so far this week to take care of me and the pups. He has done all the cooking, cleaning, etc.. for the last 3 days. He is just amazing. He really takes care of Mom and I know that means so much to you. I know he promised you he would and he will never stop. The pups have been next to me the last 3 days too. Snickers has laid next to me all day and night until Mark can and then he knows I am not alone and he goes off to his bed and Max has done the same. He is the " management " of it all....lol :)
Ok... enough of this. I hope you are doing all the things you want to in Heaven. I was wondering if you were there for Amy? Did you go for her or did you meet her up in Heaven? Dave called us on the 9th and told us that her Mom and him had to make the decision to take her off the breathing machine and stop the intubation. Amy passed peacefully within minutes. Mom was still so sick when I received the news but it still hurt. I know that it was for the best and that Amy deserves to be free and flying high like you. She is released of all the things that tied her down here in the physical world. I hope that she is reunited with her Dad and her daughter. Please tell her that we all love and miss her and that we will all take care of Dave for her. Give her big hugs from us all. Let her give you a very big hug and know that it is from Mom. I miss you so much.
The Holidays are approaching so quickly and I find myself missing you beyond the normal. I guess it is because the Holidays are meant to be with family and friends and I am with out them all...especially you. This is so hard to handle at times. I am trying so hard to be happy for you and for me. Just some days are better than others. Please know I am doing my best.
Again... 6 days in row it is overcast and cloudy. I haven't been out in 3 days but I still have been whispering to you. I hope you heard Mom. Don't think the stars will be out again tonight either but I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope you will have a beautiful evening and have all kinds of sweet dreams.
I will write to you again tomorrow. I know this is short but I couldn't go another day without writing. I am going to relax and lay down. I should be back to myself tomorrow. I love you my sweet precious son. Please know this. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing today in Heaven? Mom is so sorry that she couldn't write to you the last couple days. On Sunday night I got really really sick. I am still not sure if I got food poisoning or just a stomach bug but it has been pure hell for me. I have not been this sick in almost a year and boy it is doing a number on me. My back and stomach still hurt from vomiting for 5 hours straight. Mark has been wonderful though. I know you are proud of him, Tyler. He has stayed home with me so far this week to take care of me and the pups. He has done all the cooking, cleaning, etc.. for the last 3 days. He is just amazing. He really takes care of Mom and I know that means so much to you. I know he promised you he would and he will never stop. The pups have been next to me the last 3 days too. Snickers has laid next to me all day and night until Mark can and then he knows I am not alone and he goes off to his bed and Max has done the same. He is the " management " of it all....lol :)
Ok... enough of this. I hope you are doing all the things you want to in Heaven. I was wondering if you were there for Amy? Did you go for her or did you meet her up in Heaven? Dave called us on the 9th and told us that her Mom and him had to make the decision to take her off the breathing machine and stop the intubation. Amy passed peacefully within minutes. Mom was still so sick when I received the news but it still hurt. I know that it was for the best and that Amy deserves to be free and flying high like you. She is released of all the things that tied her down here in the physical world. I hope that she is reunited with her Dad and her daughter. Please tell her that we all love and miss her and that we will all take care of Dave for her. Give her big hugs from us all. Let her give you a very big hug and know that it is from Mom. I miss you so much.
The Holidays are approaching so quickly and I find myself missing you beyond the normal. I guess it is because the Holidays are meant to be with family and friends and I am with out them all...especially you. This is so hard to handle at times. I am trying so hard to be happy for you and for me. Just some days are better than others. Please know I am doing my best.
Again... 6 days in row it is overcast and cloudy. I haven't been out in 3 days but I still have been whispering to you. I hope you heard Mom. Don't think the stars will be out again tonight either but I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope you will have a beautiful evening and have all kinds of sweet dreams.
I will write to you again tomorrow. I know this is short but I couldn't go another day without writing. I am going to relax and lay down. I should be back to myself tomorrow. I love you my sweet precious son. Please know this. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you tonight? Mom is really tired but I wanted to write you a little letter so that you didn't think I would forget you. I could and would never do that. We didn't go anywhere today so I did a lot of housework and have been on the go since 11am this morning. I have a headache and I am needing to fix dinner up for us. We are having one of your favorites.. Mom's beef stew. I thought of you the whole time I was prepping it. I sure do miss cooking and baking for you.
Mark has been watching football all day and I see that the Dolphins won and so did the Patriots! I know you are a happy guy :) Not sure if the Cowboys won or not. They are not doing so hot this year.. I know I know.. you are laughing and saying " They Suck ". I can hear you!
It has been a quiet day and I was thankful for that. I didn't sleep much last night. I am just exhausted today. The weather is cold too and again no sun was shining. This is 4 days in a row now. I hope it is sunny tomorrow. Sure do miss it!
Haven't heard from Dave about Amy but I did hear that her Mom made it to NH and that she is still making decisions on what to do. Please continue to be with her. Thanks Ty! If I can ask something of you that would be great. I need you to be with Mark and make sure all the Angels up there are making sure he is healthy. There are some things going on right now that I would rather not say or get into at this time but please do all you can. It would mean a lot to Mom. Thanks pumpkin!
It is again another cloudy night and no stars in the sky. I will continue to whisper to you as I always do so please be listening for Mom. I am going to close this letter for the night to get all the other things done. I miss you so much and I love you all the way around the world and back. I hope you have a wonderful and peaceful night. Sweet dreams. I promise to write ore tomorrow. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you tonight? Mom is really tired but I wanted to write you a little letter so that you didn't think I would forget you. I could and would never do that. We didn't go anywhere today so I did a lot of housework and have been on the go since 11am this morning. I have a headache and I am needing to fix dinner up for us. We are having one of your favorites.. Mom's beef stew. I thought of you the whole time I was prepping it. I sure do miss cooking and baking for you.
Mark has been watching football all day and I see that the Dolphins won and so did the Patriots! I know you are a happy guy :) Not sure if the Cowboys won or not. They are not doing so hot this year.. I know I know.. you are laughing and saying " They Suck ". I can hear you!
It has been a quiet day and I was thankful for that. I didn't sleep much last night. I am just exhausted today. The weather is cold too and again no sun was shining. This is 4 days in a row now. I hope it is sunny tomorrow. Sure do miss it!
Haven't heard from Dave about Amy but I did hear that her Mom made it to NH and that she is still making decisions on what to do. Please continue to be with her. Thanks Ty! If I can ask something of you that would be great. I need you to be with Mark and make sure all the Angels up there are making sure he is healthy. There are some things going on right now that I would rather not say or get into at this time but please do all you can. It would mean a lot to Mom. Thanks pumpkin!
It is again another cloudy night and no stars in the sky. I will continue to whisper to you as I always do so please be listening for Mom. I am going to close this letter for the night to get all the other things done. I miss you so much and I love you all the way around the world and back. I hope you have a wonderful and peaceful night. Sweet dreams. I promise to write ore tomorrow. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, December 7, 2013
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