Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet precious son. How are you today in Heaven? I am so sorry that I haven't been able to write to you again the last couple days.  Mom has had a rough couple of weeks here. Last week I was under the weather with the stomach flu and got over that and felt like myself again for only 3 days and then Monday night I instantly out of now where got the chills, high fever, body aches, and a migraine headache that lead to shingles. Yup.... it really sucks! I am on my way to recovery though. Today is the first day out of bed in 3 days. Do you remember the times I got them when you lived at home? I am sure you do. It is the exact same thing. I am hobbling along on my leg. Mark again has worked from home so he can take care of Mom. He is so good to me. I worry that he will get in trouble with work but he says no. I hate not writing to you daily. It makes me feel so far away from you. I hate that feeling. I haven't been able to walk outside either, but I have been whispering to you nightly so I hope that you have been hearing me. I miss you so much. I find myself being so much more emotional these last 3 weeks. I guess it is because Christmas is in 6 days and this is my first one without you. It sucks and I am trying to remember that you are happy and with so many family members and family plus God now. I am so happy that you have so many loved ones around you and that you are not alone. I keep thinking back to last Christmas when I gave you and Mark your " Stars ". I can remember both of your faces and it made me so happy! I remember all day long exploring what it was all about. Jeremy was also there to join in the fun! How I miss those times. I was thinking of getting a " Star " and having it named after you and Mom so that we had one together. That way you could go to it and visit it and think of us and all the good times together. Then when it is Mom's time to be reunited with you... you can take me to your star, Mark's star, and our star! I will keep you posted on that and if I do it. 
 I am really wanting to have another reading with Forrest. I am hoping to do this after the new year. I would really like to hear from you again. I have so many questions for you and would just love to touch base with you again. I will also let you know when I do this. I would love to hear from Nana, Pepe, and Amy as well. I guess I am in need of more validation that you are doing fine and that you are still happy. Guess I worry about that too. I know I can see you rolling your eyes and saying " Mom ", but it is true. I am just living up to my name. I miss your voice, your smile, your laugh, and everything else about you. I miss our fun times, our good times, and our bad times. I miss it all. I love you so much, Tyler. You will always and forever be Mom's 1 true love. Nobody will ever or could ever replace that. 
 I don't think I will be able to walk outside tonight again but I will try to look out the window to see the stars shining brightly. I will be looking to the sky for you. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you as I always do. Continue to watch over Mom and all the ones we love. Thank you so much for all you do. It means so much to Mom and it comforts me as well. I hope that you have a wonderful day and night. Do all that you want to do today. Fly high and fly free my sweet son. Have a peaceful rest and sweet dreams. I love you. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!