Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son in Heaven. How are you doing today? I hope that you are doing everything you want and you are keeping busy up there. I hope you are just so happy! Mom is doing ok today. Tired from really not sleeping last night all that much but other than that I am well. Today was the first day in 3 weeks that I got to work out. It felt great. I missed it so much! Usually if something happens and I have to stop I don't really care to go back to it but this time was different for some reason. I missed it greatly and I was happy to being doing my old routine. I want to get back to the eating right and be healthy again. So this is the best time to get to restart it, right? New Year??? Sounds good to me. Mark and I took the pups for a walk as well. A small one tonight as it is pretty cold here today. Snicks was freezing his little buns off and shaking so we didn't stay out long at all. 
 When we were out I was looking to the sky and there were just so many clouds that no stars were shining. I did however whisper to you as I do every night. I know you are up there and shining bright. I hope you heard Mom. 
 Thinking of doing something that I saw on Facebook today. With it being a new year and all.. they are suggesting to get an empty jar and as often as one wants to, write on small pieces of paper all the things that are good thoughts, memories, etc... then on next New Year's Eve you are suppose to take the jar and empty it out and read all the wonderful things that happened during that year. I think that is really neat. I wish that I would have seen this when you were still with Mom. We could have done this together and read them at the end of the year. It would have been a wonderful thing for us to do. I miss you so much, Tyler. I really do. Words can't express just how much it hurts me to not talk to you, with you, to not see you, to not hear your voice. It really sucks for Mom. I just miss it all. I don't think this feeling will ever go away. I don't know how to change it. I don't know what to do. Most days I keep myself busy doing small things or stupid things so that I don't lose my mind. I am so lost with out you. Mark does a great job in helping me. He is there for Mom to lean on when I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to me when I want to talk about you. I am so thankful for that. Mark has been my true rock in all this. I know you are thankful for Mark as well. I will continue to try and carry on. I will not let you down. I promise you!!!
 When we take the pups out for the final time tonight I will look to the sky and see if I see any stars. If not I will whisper to you again. I hope you will hear Mom again. Have a wonderful night my precious son. You are my precious Angel that I love so so much. Please watch over Mom & Mark and the rest of our family and friends. Keep them safe from all the snow that they are getting. ( We don't miss that do we??? )  :)
 Sweet dreams Tyler. I love you to the moon and back. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!