Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. I hope that you are doing well today. For Mom & Mark, as you can already sense & know it has been another terrible day here for us. We had to once again make an extremely tough decision to put Snicks down. He went to the vets again this morning so that he could have an ultrasound done & more blood work to see what was going on. The scan showed that he had an enlarged prostate, his pancreas was enlarged & he had a very large tumor in his bladder which was cancerous. No surgery could have fixed it as this was an inoperable tumor. He was suffering & in pain. He couldn't go to the bathroom either & it was day 4 of no eating & no drinking. Mark & Mom went to see him this morning after the tests & scans & he was so tired. He acknowledged us at 1st by our voice but after he was with us he was trying so hard to be friendly & lovable but he just couldn't. We tried to take him for a walk & he wanted to go for a few minutes but just sat down. He was finished. The vets said we could try chemo but there was so much disease in his little body that it really wouldn't have done any good. We had no choice but to take him & let him go as peacefully as we possibly could. At 1:15pm Snickers took his last breath in Mom's arms. He laid his little head on my chest & he passed. I cried just as hard for letting him go as I did for you & for Max. I keep saying to myself that I am so sorry. I hope that he forgives Mom for making that decision. I would like to think that you have been coming around & that is what Snicks has been seeing the last couple weeks. He used to stare off towards the door or 1 wall & wouldn't move. I would ask him what he saw. He would just look at me & then sleep. I wonder if you he was seeing. Were you saying it was time for him to go be with you? Were you missing your pup that much? I guess it is for us to feel the loss again but it is your gain. You have all your pups with you now... Daisey, Baxter, Spencer, Max, Snicks, Ziggy & Snapples. I bet you really are so happy now. Please give them all hugs & kisses for Mom & let them know I love them & miss them all very much. This is the 1st time I have been dogless since I was 5 years old. It is lonely & strange. I know we are going to want to get another pup whether it is a rescue or from a breeder. No one will ever take the place of Snickers or any of our other pups but I think it will help Mark & Mom out. 
 I don't really have too much to say today, Tyler as I am just so sad & drained emotionally physically & mentally. I am so sorry but I think that you understand. I miss you so much. So much loss for Mom & Mark in the last 1 1/2 years with 1st it being you, then Max & now this. My mind is numb & I can't feel a thing. I am kind of just walking around with no where to go. Please help us Tyler. We need you. Thank you.
 Here is the daily prayer for today. Tuesday, March 10~ Now, our God, we give thanks to you & praise your glorious name. Dear God, for another day, for another minute, for another chance to live & serve you. I am grateful. Please...fill me... With love that knows no bounds, With sympathy that reaches all, With courage that cannot be shaken, With faith strong enough for the darkness, With strength sufficient for my tasks, With loyalty to your kingdom. With wisdom to meet life's mysteries, With power to lift me to yourself, Be with me for another day & use me as you will. Amen. 
 Please forgive me Tyler for wanting to end this letter. Mom is just so sad right now & having a hard time. I wanted to write to you though so I didn't miss a day. I miss you & I love you my sweet precious son. I hope you are holding little Snickers right now. I hope that you two are content & so happy with each other & Max. Please continue to watch over us all. Thank you.
 Have a wonderful evening. I hope that the stars & moon will be out tonight. I will be looking for them. I will whisper to you as I always do. May you have sweet dreams & may I see you in mine tonight. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!