Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Is it sunny where you are? Is it always sunny or do you get other types of weather? I always wonder about these things. Can't help it. Guess it is the Momma in me still. Even though I can't see you I still wonder what you do & where you are. Mom is doing better today. Guess yesterday was just a rough one for me. I was up early this morning & got all the things I needed to finished & I decided to write to you early. I have a few things this afternoon to do & calls to make so I wanted to make sure I got my letter done to you now.
 Last night I thought of you while watching a show. It was Agents of Shield. Mark has got me hooked on these shows... Arrow, The Flash ( my favorite! ), Shield, Gotham...all the superhero shows. I never thought I would like them but I do. I am actually really hooked on them. I wish you were here with me while we watch them. I know you would love them all too. You & Mark have so much in common. I wish there was more time for you both to have spent with one another. I know you watch over us both & you are mostly happy with what you see. I know you worried about me all the time as I worried about you. Sometimes we could feel what each other was feeling without ever saying a word. We were so close. It was always you & I against the world & now it is you & I for the world. I miss you so much. I miss playing mini golf with you, monopoly or any board game, I miss us eating popcorn together & watching a movie, I miss picking on you when I would get a curly potato chip & say it was for me when I knew you wanted them...of course you always got them..lol! I miss all the big things, all the small things & all the things in between. This is the worst heartache ever. It sucks on a daily basis & it is not easy to deal with but I am doing the best I can. I try to be happy around others. Smile & laugh & be positive, but when I am alone I don't have to pretend to anyone. I can be me...whoever that is now. I can be quiet & not say a thing. I can cry when I want & not have to worry about others seeing me. This is a battle....a battle that won't go away until the day we are reunited for eternal life. I love you so much Tyler. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I love you more than all the stars in the sky. ( Can't wait to see the star that is named after you & Mark one day... I bet that they are the brightest & biggest ones out there! )
 I have 3 daily prayers to write to you. Then I will be caught up again. Here they are. March 2~ Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, & your healing shall spring up quickly; you vindicator shall go before you, the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. I have faith in you Lord Jesus, for you have never let me down. My faith makes me strong & fills me with the courage & fortitude I need to get through life's more pressing problems. Your faith in me is like a beacon that I move toward, helping my eyes focus on the prize of your love & on your assistance in all that I do. Knowing that I'm not alone helps me be a pillar of strength for others as well, as they discover their own lost faith in you. I have faith in you, Lord. You always come through for me. Thank you.
 March 3~ O give thanks to the Lord, call on his name, make known his deeds among the peoples. Sing to him, sing praises to him, tell of all his wonderful works. Heavenly Father, accept my thanksgiving for the wonderful life you have given me. My family is healthy, my work is fulfilling, & I feel a deep sense of peace that I have not felt for a long time. I am truly grateful to you continuously proving to me that your will is always better than mine & that your point of view is much bigger & broader than the narrow perceptions of my little life. In gratitude I live each day knowing that there is peace in my life when I look beyond the surface of things to where you are: always present, always there. Amen. Give thanks & praise for what you have, & your prayers are already answered.
 March 4~ A new heart I will give you, & a new spirit I will put within you; & I will remove from your body the heart of stone & give you a heart of flesh. Lord, because you know me well, you know that there was a time in my life when I was so busy & moving fast that I didn't notice the birds. How sad is that? I am truly grateful to you for slowing me down, Lord. Now when I see birds at my feeder, along with all the other wonders of your miraculous creation, my heart overflows with thanksgiving. I wouldn't have wanted to miss this glorious world of yours, Lord. Thank you for getting my attention. Our Creator's hand is always at work making us better than we know we can be.
 There.. I am one again all caught up. I am so sorry for breaking my promises to you on here. That is not me. I guess there are just times when time escapes Mom & I get tired & don't want to do things or it is a bad day & I am feeling sick that I don't do my letters to you. Those times used to be so few & far between but now they seem to be more & more lately. I will try to do better.
 I hope that the rest of your day is good & that it is all you want it & need it to be. I hope your evening is peaceful, restful, & perfect....just the way you want it. I will look to the sky tonight to see the stars & moon. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for Mom. I miss you my sweet precious son. May you have sweet dreams tonight & may you come visit me in my dreams as well. You will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. I love you.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!