Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing today? It was quite the rough night for Mom & Mark as I am sure you know. I didn't want to go to bed last night even though I was so tired. When I did fall asleep all I did was dream of Snicks. It sucked. Mark said I kinda kicked a lot in my sleep again. I believe it whole heartily. I really miss him so much. I miss Max & I absolutely miss you. Just so much loss for Mom in such a short period of time. I think it is extremely hard this time because Snicks was your pup & I feel I have lost everything of yours. I cried & cried last night & today. My head hurts & I am just so sadden by everything. I truly believe that you were waiting for Max & Snicks to cross over the rainbow bridge. I believe that they are both with you & you are so happy. Take good care of them for Mom. Thanks pumpkin. 
 I know that many friends & family will think that Mom & Mark are nuts & that it is way to soon but we are thinking of getting another pup. Not to replace any of the ones we lost but to have another companion running around. It is really already so lonely for Mom & Mark goes back to the office tomorrow so I will be alone for several hours. We haven't made any definite decisions as of yet... just thinking about it. We are thinking of a small pup again. One that will travel with us even if it by plane. That way making plans won't be as tough. I sure wish I could chat with you to get your input. You always had such good advice. Sure miss that too. 
 I wanted to let you know that tomorrow is Aunt Beck's Birthday. I am sure that you will be making a visit to her to say hello! I am sure that it will make her day. I spoke to her earlier & so many are concerned about Mom. They think I am headed into a downward spiral again & no one wants to see that happen. I am worried too. I want to think that I am so strong but sometimes as you already know..enough is enough. Things have been quite tough already for Mom. I don't need things to get worse. Are you worried? If you are, please help me all that you can. I was thinking of getting back to volunteering for the Relay again now that we are back in New England & perhaps doing some volunteering with children with special needs. What do you think of that? Any signs that you can give me would be great! I know when speaking to Aunt Beck she was telling me she received a very clear message for Mom... it was to make sure I use my time wisely & not slip away as I was given a 2nd chance at life. I agree with her. I need not let more time pass by. I need to start getting things set for myself again. The message was very clear to Mom & what I need to do. I have lots of time tomorrow so I will be looking into a few things to help me get started. I will keep you updated!
 Here is the daily prayer for Wednesday, March 11~ Let every person be subject to the governing authorities; for there is no authority except from God, & those authorities that exist have been instituted by God. Dear Lord, we come to you today, & we humbly beseech you to continue guiding our country in the direction you want it to go. Many things about our country & our culture are changing. Lord, we need your help in understanding which changes are good & which are taking us places you never intended for us to go. Guide the leaders of our country, Lord---those in elected positions & those in other positions of influence. And finally, dear Lord, guide our thoughts, our words, & our actions that we may be good stewards of this marvelous country you've given us. We ask that you never lift your hand of protection from us. It is in your all powerful name that we pray to you. Amen.
 The night sky is almost upon us. It stays lighter outside now which I am very happy about! The weather today was in the 50's & sunny. So nice but I won't get too use to it as this weekend we are in for crappy weather.. snow, sleet. & freezing rain..go figure. I hope to see the night sky with lots of stars & the moon shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope that you have a wonderful & peaceful night with many sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I love you with all my heart & soul. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. I hope to see you in my dreams later!
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!