Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Sunday afternoon? I hope that you are doing well. Mom is not having the best day as you can probably already see. The weather was suppose to be sunny in the 40's today & it is cold & it is snowing... how surprising..NOT!!!! I am so sick of this winter. I know a lot of folks feel the same way as I do. We had to turn the clocks ahead last night. That means it will be lighter in the morning & the start for it to be lighter at night time too. I always have a hard time adjusting to this one where we " spring ahead. " In the Fall when we set them back I have no problem with as we gain an hour more of sleep...go figure huh? Last night was rough for Snickers. We were up for most of the night with him. He is not doing well. The poor little guy is sick. He is not eating, drinking, & he was throwing up all night & morning. Right now I have a break from cleaning all the messes up so I thought I would write to you now..just in case I am busy doing " clean up duty " later. 
 I didn't get a chance to write to you yesterday as we were suppose to go out all day & enjoy the weekend together but time got away from us & we never did go out. We stayed in & I did things around the apartment that escaped me during the week when I was busy doing stuff for the moving this week in Texas. I was kinda blah yesterday so I didn't get on my computer in the afternoon or evening. I kinda just lounged on the couch & watched tv. We were suppose to go out today instead & now with Snicks being sick we are staying in as well. It is always something that is for sure. I am so sorry .....that is no excuse for not writing to you. I feel awful when I don't & guilty but I know I shouldn't. I know you can see Mom & you can see what kind of day I am having. I guess I will have to continue to write to you during the afternoons on the week days when I am alone & at night time on weekends. I guess I need to set aside an hour or so to do this. I need to be more strict with myself when it comes to this. I always promise that I will get better & then I fail. That is not Mom....you know this. I guess I don't know what is wrong lately. I have so much going on in my head. I never stop thinking. I have resentment, anger, & hate towards some people & some things. I can't seem to get it out of my head. I can't get back to the happy " me. " I know that is not a great attitude to have but I don't know how to get out of it. I am angry at so much. It is such a dark place that I don't want to be in but I again don't know how to get out of it. If you can help me Tyler... anything Mom would so appreciate it. I know you are not happy with what you see in me right now. I know you are sad & if you could you would take it all away. That is just the way you are. I really wish you could too. 
 I have a couple prayers to write & catch up on. Here is the one for Saturday, March 7~ We urge you, beloved, to admonish the idlers, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all of them. God, let me be a comfort to someone who needs me today. As you have always comforted me in rough times, let me do the same for someone who is sad, ill, or suffering & needs to know they are cared for. Guide me toward those I can be of loving service to, & let no opportunity pass me to do something good in the world today. If someone is in need, send him my way. If someone is depressed, have her call me. Let me be a comfort to those who feel they cannot go on alone. I am at your service today, God. Make sure of me. Amen. God, you always let me comfort my family & friends when they are in need. You give me the strength to put aside what is going on in my life at that moment to help others. Many call on me & I am glad to help out in any way I can. Thank you for trusting in me & seeing something that I can do to make it a brighter day for others when I can't see it myself sometimes. Continue to help me & I will continue to do your work & make you happy & proud. Amen!
 March 8~ Hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts, through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. One day at a time, heavenly Father. I think I can find the hope within to take this crazy world one day at a time. When the stresses of life overwhelm me, you remind me that you are willing to carry my burdens. You will take the weight of the yoke that is upon my neck & free me from all anxiety. One day at a time---- hope is the thing I hold on to as I accept what is & look to what will be when this too, shall pass. One day at a time, dear Father, with hope in my heart, I continue on. Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark. Boy, that prayer for today couldn't have come at any better time for me with what I have been dealing with & feeling for the last several months. I try & take it one day at a time. I try to give it all to you Lord so you can help me, but I struggle with that. I always have & I need to make that change. I need to do better with this. Just like the prayer said----One day at a time.
 I love you Tyler. I miss you so much. I know I always tell you this many times throughout the day & night. I hope that you can feel the emotions behind it & just not hear Mom say the words to you. Losing you has been the toughest of all the things I have have to go through in my life. Some have been extremely rough but this is the toughest. The hardest thing for Mom or any Mom to have to lose their child. I know one day I will be told why this happened so I try not to question it on a daily basis but it is tough. It is a constant wonder. It is just so hard. I hate the pain. I hate the heartbreak.
 I have to get going now as Snicks is once again up & walking around. Not sure if he is needing to go out again or if he is going to be sick. Think this is going to be a very long day for us. I need to go do my " doggie mom duties " for your pup right now. If you can give him some love. I think he is needing some from you. If you can get Snicks to drink..I know he is dehydrated & needs water but he is not budging with me. Thanks pumpkin.
 I hope you have a great day & night. I hope it is everything you want & need it to be. I will look to the evening sky tonight & be looking for the moon & stars to be shining brightly. I know that will make me smile. It always does. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for Mom. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I hope you have sweet dreams tonight & I hope to see you in my own dreams. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul my sweet precious son.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!