Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin. How are you doing today on this Friday evening? I hope that you are well doing all the things you want to & need to be doing. As you can see, today has not been a good day for Mom at all. Things really hit the fan over the phone this afternoon & it didn't get any better or easier. I have a feeling that there are going to be more bad days then good in the next few weeks. Mom is strong & I will get through this with family & friends by my side. I have an amazing support system so that will help a lot right now. I am sorry if you are upset or angry at what you are seeing. I know things that I know about & some things I don't know were promised to you & if Mom had to bet I am sure every single one of them promises have been broken. I am so sorry even though I have not done anything wrong. I know it must be frustrating to see & hear things going on & not be able to verbalize it to anyone. I can however ask you to send me signs to let me know & I promise that I will look out for them. I didn't think in a million years that Mom would be going through this crap again, but boom...here I am just 4 years later. It sucks & it hurts, I am not going to lie but again I am a fighter, a Survivor, & I will make it through! Again, send me those signs my sweet precious son & Mom will be looking everywhere for them.
 Spoke to Grandpa last night & boy he had a bad day at work. I haven't heard him be grumpy like that in many years, but he had every right to be. Mom thinks he is working way too much & it is getting to him. He is pulling long hours & shifts that the high school kids should be doing. I worry about him because even though he is going to be 73 years young, he still needs to be careful. I know you watch over him & us all & I thank you so much. It means the world to Mom to know that I have a wonderful & sweet Angel like you with Mom at all times. I miss you so much though. I wish I could see you, hear your voice, get a Tyler hug from you & a big kiss on the cheek. I would love to see that sh*t eating grin smile that you had right now. Sure do miss it all every second of every minute of every day. I will for the rest of my life until we can be together again for eternity. Guess Great Grammy is still the same today as she was yesterday. Aunt Shirley is quite worried about her. I hope that she will be ok. Haven't spoken to Meme at all this week. I will have to call her either tonight or tomorrow to make sure that things are ok on her end & that Bob is doing well as can be too. I will fill you in on that when I write you your next letter.
 Here is the daily prayer for today. July 24~ For he shall give his Angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all the ways. The plants breathe out & we breathe in, not noticing the exchange. And so we walk with the Angels, seldom noticing the company we keep. Lord, make me aware of your presence in my life & that of your Angels.
 I can't believe that in 5 days you would have been celebrating your 25th Birthday. I wish you were still here with Mom & us all but I know that you are better off where you are & you are so much happier. I know this but it still Mom always. I will be sending more balloons up to you that day so be on the look out for those. I will give you updates before that happens though. 
 The evening sky will be upon us in the next couple of hours so I will be looking for the stars & moon shining brightly. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do so hope you will be listening out & hearing Mom's voice. The weather was kind of crazy today as it was sunny then it would down pour & the sunny again. The sky right now is blue with clouds but maybe I will get lucky & see something shining tonight. I hope that you have a peaceful night. May you do all that you want & need to. Fly high & free. I love you with all my heart & soul.  Hope you have sweet dreams & I hope to you are in mine tonight as well. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!