Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this cool crystal clear evening? I always wonder when I ask you if you are ever in the night time and it is dark in Heaven as well like we get or is it always bright, blue skies and sunny...hmm.. just curious. Today was another beautiful day here in Texas. It was sunny and in the 70's. The perfect weather. The weather we loved to go walking and just talk. How I miss those times. What I wouldn't do to have just one more with you. I would go on the longest walk and talk to you about everything and anything for hours. I would just want to memorize your voice, your smile, your face, just everything! I miss you so much. I just can't believe in 3 days it will be 7 months that you passed. Doesn't seem possible but yet it feels like it has been years. It is so hard to explain. Days run into weeks and then months. I sometimes forget the days and everything gets scrambled up for me. 7 months with out you has been pure hell. It hurts on the inside so much and on the outside no one would ever know what has happened. I put on that smile and just go about my day. The night time and the times where I have nothing to do is the worst. The silence is murder to me. I have been very fortunate that the last couple weeks Mark has worked from the apartment. It is so nice to not be alone all the time. I know he is working and I have to be quiet and let him do his job but that is ok. It is just nice to see someone here with me and not just the dogs. I can actually talk to someone and hear another voice. It was lonely during the days being by myself. It got pretty depressing for Mom. I watch tv and did a lot of crying. I still cry when I am in the bedroom or living room and alone even when Mark is home. It is going to be this way for awhile. It is the process of grieving. I am trying so hard, Tyler. I want to make you proud of me. I want you to see me smile, laugh and try to enjoy life. I know by doing this it helps you grow in the Spiritual World and I would do nothing to hold you back from learning, growing, and for you to do all that you can and want. I want you to be so happy. I want you to smile that beautiful smile that I love and share it with the Angels above. I want you to learn so that when it is my time to be called home and be with you you can fill me in and we can be ready for our next life time together. Our next journey and adventure. I look forward to this as I hope you are too :)
 My day was really uneventful for the most part. Did laundry and went shopping for some under garments for my dress. It was a success! Happy that I don't need to think about that anymore. I have an appointment tomorrow at a Bridal Shop to look at dresses for Marion & Charlie's wedding in June. I have to get a Bridesmaid dress. I am in a color called Lapis.. a shade of purple. It looks pretty so I am excited to see what they have for me to try on. Hope they have several for me to choose from. I want to look my best for them on their special day! I will let you know tomorrow night just how it went. If you like I would love for you to be there and come along. Help me choose and give me a sign which one you would like best. It would mean a lot to Mom. I miss the times you would help me out and make decisions. You made things easier at times for me and for that I am thankful. I love you, Tyler. More than words can say!
 Went and walked the pups already. I whispered to you. Hope you heard me. The night sky is so clear and the stars are shining above. 1 star was really brighter than the rest. I know that was you. It made me smile. When I take them out again I will talk to you before I head to bed for the evening. be listening for Mom!
 I hope you have a wonderful night my precious son. Please watch over me and all our family and friends. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon & back. Forever. Sweet dreams.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!