Dear Tyler,

Hey pumpkin! I hope that you are having a great day today. It is Saturday and the sun is just a shining here and it is super hot and humid. Everyone around says that the weather will start getting into the 80's. I hope so...that will be so nice! Mark is such a sweetheart.. he fixed my computer. Apparently, when I was playing Candy Crush I click on something that I shouldn't have and gave the computer a virus. Leave it to me. I can hear you know saying " ah Mom"..lol! Things here in Texas are going ok. Mark is getting used to his job and I am getting used to being alone during the day with the pups. I know I told you before but Aunt Becky & Uncle John will be bringing our stuff down along with Mom's car in October. I will get stuff unpacked and settled the best I can and then go out and look for a part time job. This way it will break up the day for me while Mark is working. I can't wait to see our stuff again. It will be like Christmas. It has been in storage now for almost 7 months. I know parts of it will be difficult because I will be going through your things and sorting out what to do with them. I know your Nightmare things will be going to Chris. She loves Jack like you did. I talked to Skeeter the other day and he said he would take your Nascar stuff. I know there is equipment as well and I will donate that to a local place here to children who needs it. I think that is what you would want me to do. I think and hope you would be proud of me. It will be so hard to go through these things as they have so many memories of you. I will keep all the pictures and make a huge collage out of them. The pictures will be of you from birth to you being an adult. I look at the few pictures I have here of you and always smile and say how much I miss that face and that smile. I sure do miss you bunches. Things will just never be the same for me..ever again! Some days I just don't want to go on. I don't want to be in this world without you, and other days I want to do so much and help others out and give them the support. I want to do good things. I want you to be proud of Mom! I love you so much, Tyler. Words can't describe how I feel or what happened to me the day you left me and your family and friends. You were so loved by many and you touched so many people. I can't express that enough to you. You never knew what you were suppose to do with your life or what your purpose was here on Earth. I know you know now and you get it and I am so happy. You were a teacher to me and so many more. I learned so many things from you. I just wish I shared them with you out loud and told you. I do miss our talks we had. I miss the lazy days when we did nothing but watch movies and talk. We have may of those times together and when I think of those days it makes me smile. I had alot of quality time with you, but I sure wish I had a helluva lot more. I still talk to you and I know you hear me but a one sided conversation is just not the same, ya know? I think of my session with Forrest and remember all the things that were said. I am so glad you still have your sense of humor. You were my little " joker ". I loved that about you. As I type I can hear you laugh...lol! It will never get easy living without you but I am sure one day I will learn to accept it. I just can't right now. I hope you understand. I will close my letter to you tonight by saying sweet dreams and I hope you have a good night. Watch over me... I need to know you are around and taking care of me and our family. I miss you and love you with all my heart. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!