Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! Sorry about my such short letter last night. My head was just pounding. Guess I was just tired. I did get a little sleep off and on last night. Taking care of Max is a big job but he is worth it. You know I love him and will make him as comfortable as I can until it is his time to be with you. Then you can throw the ball to Max and play with him. I know you both will be happy to see one another. That makes me smile. Anyways... not much else is new in my life. Weather continues to be in the 100's and humid. It is 7 pm and the sun is shining so bright just like if it was 1 pm. It is crazy! Snickers is doing good. His foot is healed as much as it is going to be. He is behaving and hasn't bit anyone lately...that's a good thing! Mark is well. Working during the week days and studying for several tests at night and on the weekends. He doesn't do much of anything else. Maybe watch tv for a couple hours nightly but that's it. We don't go many places because of Max. All he does is bark when he is alone and the neighbor upstairs has complained several times already so we don't have too much of a choice but to stay around the apartment. Kinda sucks for Mom were I am here all the time. I don't get out much at all. Maybe 1-2 hours a week. Its tough, but I am dealing with it for now. I am still searching for a flat stone and bench for you. I am comparing prices at the moment. I think I will get the flat stone before Winter hits New England and then in early Spring I will get the bench. I hope you will be ok with that. I am trying my best to do whats right. It is hard because I have never done this before. We are getting our storage from NH on September 14th. Been 8 months since I have seen our stuff. It will be great to actually have our things again! I think after that Mom is really going to go look for a job. I need to get out. I need to have adult conversations with others. I am finding that I am alone so much that I have a difficult time going out and being in crowds or just in the public in general. I don't know what to say to folks or hold a conversation. Makes me sad because you & I both know what a people person I am. I guess with everything I am taking 1 day at a time. That is all I can continue to do. I know I will never be the same person I once was when you were alive. That person is gone forever. I am just trying to be a person who is dealing with things as they come. I want to be happy for you as I know you do not like seeing me this way. I am trying to be happy but I need something to make me happy and there is nothing at this time. I am away from all my family & friends, I don't have a job (yet), and I am always home which is depressing enough right there. I promised you that I would continue working on myself and getting to where I need to be and I will. I have never broken a promise to you and I am not going to start now. Just know I am trying. Be there for Mom. You know when I need you. I miss you so much. I love you, Tyler. I wish you a good night and many sweet dreams. Love you to the moon and back. Forever. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!