Dear Tyler,

Good evening my sweet precious son. How are you today? I hope that you are doing well. Mom is doing ok. I am having a pretty good day so far. It again is sunny and warm here... high 70's. I hear that snow is suppose to fall in NH tomorrow. It is funny because I always complained about the cold, snow, and Winter months up in New England for the last 30 something years, but I find myself these days missing the times where it is snowing outside and we are all cozy in the house watching a beautiful fire in the fireplace. We would have a nice hot meal ( one of your favorites I am sure of ) and then settle in with our blankets and watch a movie or a show on television. Those are very special memories to me. I find it hard these days to actually believe that it is the middle of November when it is still 70 degrees or warmer outside. 
 When I was in the store yesterday I was looking at all the Christmas things that they had out. The gift sets and all the things I would be looking at for you. The Holidays this year are going to be rough for Mom. These are the first ones without you. I keep saying I don't want them to come, but I guess I do because then we can get on to a new year. It is so hard to believe that in 9 days it will be 5 months since you passed. 5 months without you in it, Tyler is like 100 years or more to me. The pain doesn't fade or subside. The grief is still very fresh. I still cry daily when I think of you or something that reminds me of you. I look at your pictures 1000 times a day if not more. Losing a child is the hardest thing ever. It is not fair, but then again who said life was, right??? It just is not what we think the " circle of life should be ". 
 I want you to know that Mark is taking really good care of Mom. He is amazing and I know he loves me very much. Whatever he said to you and whispered in your ear is a sacred thing to him just like it is to you. You both take it very seriously. I have no idea to what was said and at times I want to know but then I think and say " nope " that is between the 2 of them. It makes me smile to know you 2 share a sweet secret. I know you would be proud of him. I remember what you said to me last. I cherish it..always!
 I miss you so much, Tyler. I hope that you enjoy these nightly letters as I like typing them to you. It is a healing for Mom. I hope that anyone who reads these and they are going through the same thing as I... they can find comfort and can help heal from them too. 
 Tonight is a clear night so you know what that means... yup... I will be looking for my bright star and whispering to you like I do nightly. As always be listening for it. Please continue to watch over us all. I can't thank you enough for all that you continue to do. You simply AMAZE me. You are my HERO! I love you to the moon and back and all away around the world. Sweet dream pumpkin. Have a wonderful night. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!