Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet Angel in Heaven. How are you this afternoon? I hope that you are doing well. Mom is sorry that I didn't write to you yesterday, but I needed a day to just relax and chill out. Thanksgiving was really hard for me and it drained me mentally and emotionally. I told you that I wasn't going to be negative any longer in my letters to you so I decided to just relax last night and write to you with an open mind tonight. I feel so guilty when I don't write to you nightly and I feel that you would get mad at me. I really hope that is Mom just being silly. I couldn't ever bare for you to feel that way towards me. Anyways....
 Yesterday was Black Friday and Mark & I had the chance to go out and do some shopping. We went to get a Christmas Tree. I know you know this because when the tree was being loaded into the truck all of a sudden I got goosebumps from my head to my toes and I got a chill. Wasn't just a fluke either because it was almost 70 degrees outside. I said aloud that I knew you were there and that I could feel you. The instant I said that the feeling went away. That was the 1st time that has happened to Mom since you passed. Thank you so much for that. It is what I needed. I had a hard time looking at the Christmas Trees and you made it easier. You approved so that was very special to me. 
 Today... Mark and I did all the decorating in the apartment. It took us over 5 hours to do it all. We listened to Christmas music and sang and danced around after I had my meltdown. I was holding Snickers and cuddling him and I was talking to him about you and the tears just came and rolled down my cheeks. Usually Snickers wants to get down but today he just let me hold him. I think he could sense I needed it. I didn't get any feeling today but I am sure that you were here the whole time. I put all your favorite ornaments in the front of the tree. I kept saying that the tree was for you so Mark made sure you had the biggest, fullest, and most beautiful tree there was. I think that you will like the tree. I know it will make you smile. You loved Christmas lights like Mom does. Just another thing to make us so much alike. I loved all the times we were together for the Holidays. We had such a great time with our family. The conversations, the eating, etc... I missed that this year and will for the rest of my life. I know you will be with me always... I just wish I could see you again. I want to be selfish for just this once. 
 I know you are doing great things in Heaven now and you are working hard. I read something today that stated that people who have passed need their loved ones to be positive, smile, laugh, and live life so that you can grow as Angels in Heaven. I truly believe that so from now on that is what I am going to do for you, Tyler. I want you to grow and have everything that you need and want for nothing. Now... don't get upset if you see me from time to time shed some tears and have a " bad " day... it is just Mom doing what I need to do to continue to heal. I know you understand and you realize this. Thank you for all your patience with me. This is so hard but I will make it through. I know I have you by my side still. Thank you :)
 It was a very sunny day so I know I will see the stars tonight. I did see them last night shining bright. I whispered to you. I hope you heard me. The sky was so clear and there were so many stars. One was the brightest.. I pointed to it and said look Mark.. he said " North Star? " I said no... that is Tyler watching over us! Be listening to Mom tonight as I whisper to you again. 
 I hope you have a wonderful night and many sweet dreams. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you so much. To the moon and back and all the way around the world! Watch over Mom, our family and friends. Tell everyone in Heaven that I love and miss them.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!