Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin, how are you doing on this Sunday evening? Things here on Mom's end are ok. I must say that I am sorry that I did not write a letter to you last night. Please forgive me in not doing so. I hope that you were not disappointed in Mom. I needed to take some time and just sit and think about many things. I want my letters to you to be mostly upbeat and lately they are not. They are quite morbid to be honest. I find that in time it is getting harder for Mom instead of easier. Maybe because of the Holiday Season starting this week.. I am not sure. I wanted to take some time and really do some soul searching with everything. I wanted to communicate things that are going well in my life instead of all the things that aren't. I hope that makes sense to you. I know you want to see me smile and laugh and enjoy my life because you are never not near me.. it is I just can't see you. I know it upsets you to see me be upset, cry, and depressed all the time. I want Mom to continue to live my life but also to live for you. I want you to see all the joys and good in my life. I want you to be right beside me and cheer me on. I want you to be there and say.. "Alright Mom " with a HUGE smile on your face. I want you to be proud of me and as I will always be proud of you. I guess what I am trying to say is that you, Tyler were such an incredible soul. You were so popular whether you knew it or not. You were loved by many and you taught so many people what it was really like to live and succeed in life. You left behind so much to your family, friends, and strangers that you never met. I can only wish to be half of what you were. I am trying to make the most of my life and to show others that things will be ok. Your friend, Sam said it he best: Tyler was " Ty Dye "... a burst of all the colors combined. You were amazing! That is what I want to show you. I want to show you a burst of colors. I will change my ways and the way I was thinking and living my life. I know that I can do this because I have you right by my side helping me. Thank you Tyler for helping me open my eyes and see all that I needed to. I miss you so much and I love you beyond anything that anyone could ever imagine. That will never change... EVER!!!! You were always my life and that will always continue. Please know this. You are in my thoughts all day and night. I can't help that. 
 It was rainy again here and cold for a change. I am hoping that the clouds pass so that the stars will shine brightly and I can see my one bright star. I will whisper to you so I hope you will be listening. 
 I wish you a restful night and many sweet dreams. To the moon and back my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!