Dear Tyler,

Hello to you, my sweet son. How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? I hope you are so happy and well doing all that you want to do in Heaven. Mom is doing good. I am feeling a lot better today than I have in the last 5 days. My head is not so fuzzy and my stomach is much more at ease. The weather is really nice. It is sunny and in the upper 60's today. I will take that seeings how it is in the 20's and snowy in NH. Like I said before sometimes it is surreal to Mom because I feel like I am just away from home and that I don't actually live here in Texas. I guess it is hard to put my head around seeings all I know is living back in NH for my whole life. They say that change is good. I would say I agree to a certain point. I miss NH for many reasons but with all that has happened in the last 5 months I am glad that I am not living there. I don't think I could emotionally. Everything there reminds me of you, where we went, what we did. There are so many memories. Please do not get me wrong.. I am not trying to forgot any of these. I remember all to well and I cherish them all. I just don't need it in my face all the time. It is hard enough to have to go on daily without you. I just can't handle any more at this time. I wonder to myself if that is not the reason why I have not gone back home yet. I have not been back since you passed. I want to go but I am wondering if I am just not emotionally ready to have to deal with it all. Guess you could say that in a way I am kind of hiding out here in Texas. I hope that you understand what I am trying to say. Every day I miss you, every day I cry because you are not here with me anymore, every day I long to hear your voice, see your smile, and see your face. I look at your pictures of you all day long and remember our times together. A million and one things remind me of you and makes me smile, laugh, and/or cry. I don't need to be in NH to do that. I can do this anywhere. I miss you so much and I love you beyond words.
 Yesterday was Pepe's Birthday. I wished him a Happy Birthday and told him I was sure that you, Nana, and him we celebrating up in Heaven. I told Pepe to give you a great big hug and kiss from Mom. I hope you received it. It was sent with so much love from me. 
 Tonight is a clear night so I will be able to see my bright star. I will whisper to you as always so be listen for my voice. I wish you many sweet dreams tonight. I hope you fly high and free my precious son. I love you. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!